Aaron and Zak stood in front of Zak's stove, Aaron with his cell phone in his hand and an empty paper plate on the island, and Zak still working on his slice of cake that we had brought home from the restaurant. I was sitting on the other side of the island, still working on my slice. I watched the boys as they reminisced on all the fun times I had missed. I couldn't help but smile at them. Aaron had his hands in the air, making faces to emphasize the story he was telling. Zak's eyes were glued to his friend, the smile never leaving his face. I had never heard so much laughter out of the two in the time I had known them. In fact, I felt like I hadn't laughed so much in years.
There was a peace between the two. No tension, no fighting, no jealousy. Zak was a lot less uptight. He let himself have fun. What surprised me the most was that he was not jumping away when Aaron touched him. Back in the day, Zak had tended to jump or pull away when touched. He seldom put a friendly hand on a shoulder. The amount of affection the two showed each other and others had changed dramatically. I had even noticed that when watching the show. Zak would hold Aaron by the shoulders, or Aaron would take Zak's arm or protectively put a hand on his back. Their brotherhood had grown immensely, and it made me so happy to see.
Still, there was an emptiness there. You could feel it when the laughter died and one of us would sniff or cough. There was a missing voice. Zak and Aaron didn't seem to react to it, but I felt it. It was just different not having Nick here, and knowing I would probably never see him again. I sighed heavily. It had been for the best, of course, but it was still strange.
"So," Aaron said loudly.
Zak and I looked up from our plates. Aaron had his arms crossed over his chest and was glaring at me, a smirk on his lips.
"Did you perhaps, maybe, kinda wanna…come back to the show?" he asked.
I tried not to laugh as his eyes widened and he put his hands in the air, shrugging.
"Aaron, don't push it," Zak scolded.
"What?" Aaron exclaimed, "I was just asking!"
"I know, but I've already discussed it with her," he said.
Aaron glared at him, his mood suddenly turning serious.
"Did you tell her about how crew members keep quitting?" he asked accusingly, "What about building a stronger foundation like you said?"
Zak's nostrils flared in aggravation. I looked from Aaron to Zak and set my fork down. Zak's eyes flashed to me before darting to his shoes.
"Aaron," he growled.
I felt my heart skip. What did he mean?
"Crew members keep quitting?" I asked.
Zak just rubbed the side of his face and turned to set his plate down.
"It's just some bullshit, Mikey. Not a big deal," he grumbled out.
"G!" Aaron snapped, then turned to me, "Things are kind of…I don't know how to put it."
"Falling apart?" Zak asked.
Aaron closed his mouth and looked at him with sad eyes.
"I didn't want to put that phrase in the universe," Aaron said softly, "But, that seems to be what's happening."
My shoulders dropped and I stared at the guys in horror.
"What do you mean 'falling apart?'" I asked, "Is the show in trouble?"
Zak turned back to us and bit his bottom lip.
"Ever since I bought that damn house, we have had crew members continually quit on us. Mostly with our production crew at the network," he explained, "It's starting to get bad."
I took a deep breath and propped my elbows on the edge of the granite island.
"Well, maybe it's just a slump?" I asked hopefully.
"Maybe," Aaron said.
"It's just that every decision I make—that we make," Zak said, gesturing to himself and Aaron, "It's like walking on thin ice. Who's going to pack it up and leave? Who is going to not agree? Who's next?"
I nodded understandingly.
"So far, our bunch hasn't quit, with the exceptions of Ashley and Nick," Aaron said.
"No!" Zak agreed, "In fact, we have new people in our circle, but we don't know how long that will last. Mike, our new sound guy, he hasn't really had that much exposure to the paranormal. He's not that receptive to the energy. And Dakota. I don't know if you remember, Mikey. He was the kid that was making those spoofs on us."
I smiled and nodded.
"He won the contest? Yeah, I remember him!" I replied.
"He's our backup camera guy now," Aaron said.
I stared at them in surprise.
"That's awesome!"
Zak's smile faded as soon as it formed.
"But he's extremely vulnerable to dark energy. No way in hell I'm putting him through that," he said.
"Well, he's just a kid," I agreed.
Zak nodded.
"Exactly."
"Which is why we need you," Aaron said playfully, then turned somber, "We were all kinds of lost when you left."
I sighed heavily.
"Aaron, don't start. You know how hard it was for me to go. I—"
"Why did you leave?" Zak interrupted.
I looked up at Zak. He had a very stern look on his face. Aaron's eyes widened, jaw slack.
"Yeah! You never told us why you left!"
"I know you said family shit," Zak continued.
I let my posture fail and slumped.
"It's hard to talk about, Zak. Even now," I replied, "Hell, I don't think I've really told anyone."
Aaron gave me a sympathetic look.
"You can't keep it bottled up, Mikey," he said softly.
Zak walked around the island towards me.
"Come," he said, touching a hand to my shoulder as he approached, "Let's talk about it."
"Zak, it may not be something we need to know," Aaron warned.
Zak jumped, not realizing that he may be pressing too hard.
"Shit," he whispered, then looked down at me, "Mikey, I'm sorry. If it's too much—"
"No, no!" I waved them off, then hopped down from the barstool, "Aaron, come on. I'll tell you guys. It's been way overdue, anyway."
Zak smiled warmly and put an arm around my shoulders.
"It'll make you feel better," he reassured.
Zak led the way to the couch in the living room. Aaron decided on a leather armchair. Gracie hopped right into his lap. I sat in the corner of the couch, Zak to my right. Aaron reached a long arm over and took my wrist. I glanced up to be met by a soft smile.
"Tell us what happened, Mikes," he encouraged.
I took a deep breath and began.
"Okay, well," I started, "My mom's parents—Zak, you met my grandmother. Remember?"
Zak chewed his lip in thought, looking lost for a moment. When the lightbulb went off in his head, he perked up.
"Oh yeah! Yeah, I really liked her," he said, then his face fell, "Wait! What happened?"
I wrung my hands and looked down at the concrete floor.
"A couple of guys broke in to their house," I began.
Zak watched me with wide, worried eyes. Aaron's jaw dropped. I swallowed thickly.
"They were looking for drugs and money. Of course, my grandparents were in their late 70's. They had medical issues, so there were prescriptions in the house."
Zak slowly nodded.
"Were?" he asked.
I bit my bottom lip. He caught that too easily.
"Yeah," I breathed out.
Aaron's eyes widened.
"Wait? What?" he asked, confused.
I reached up and nervously picked at my lip.
"They took all of the pills in the house, whatever money was in my grandmother's purse," I paused, feeling myself choking up, "They made off with one of the TVs and all of the jewelry. I don't know that any of it was worth much, but…doesn't matter."
I stopped and stared at the dark fireplace under the flatscreen, trying to figure out how to word what I wanted to say without triggering myself. I could see images in my head, and that didn't help.
"Then, the assholes who broke in…" I swallowed the lump in my throat and closed my eyes.
There was a reason I had never told this story to anyone, and after all these years, the emotions were still very raw.
I felt Zak shift beside me. I opened my eyes to see his ringed, tattooed fingers gently wrap around my forearm. His palm was warm and comforting. I sighed and swallowed my emotions. I didn't want to cry tonight. Not in front of the guys.
"They beat the shit out of both them," I snarled, anger rising in place of sadness.
Aaron looked away from me, taking in a deep breath.
"Are you kidding me?" Zak asked in shock.
I shook my head.
"My grandfather is laying in a nursing home, rotting away. Has no idea who he is. He can't eat, or shower, or shit without a team of nurses helping him," I said.
"Jesus Christ," Zak whispered.
Aaron had his elbow now propped on the arm of the chair, his mouth hidden behind his hand.
"And your grandmother?" he asked, voice muffled by his hand.
I shook my head.
"They killed her," I whispered.
It was then burning tears rushed to my eyes. Aaron dropped his arm and slid off to the chair. He crouched in front of me and enveloped me in his long, slender arms. I felt one of Zak's large arms wrap around my waist, his cheek on top of my head. I put an arm each around the guys, pressing my nose and mouth into Aaron's shoulder and willing myself desperately not to cry.
"I'm so sorry, Mikey," Aaron said.
I felt Zak nod in agreement and rub my back.
"Why didn't you tell us?" he asked softly.
"Yeah," Aaron agreed, "Going through all of that alone?"
All I could do was shrug. I pulled away from Aaron and wiped some moisture from my eye. Zak placed a comforting hand on my upper back. He leaned his head down, trying to obtain eye contact and search my eyes. I looked up at him through a film of tears.
"You know we would have been down there in a heartbeat," he said.
I just nodded. Aaron swiped a few tissues from the tissue box on the coffee table and handed them to me. I thanked him and wiped my nose with one.
"I know. I just didn't want…I don't know," I shrugged, "I was in so much pain. I didn't want to share that."
"But see? That's what we're saying," Aaron said.
I forced myself to meet his eyes.
"You wouldn't have had to take it all alone," he finished.
I had no idea how to respond. I fidgeted a little and kept my eyes cast down. Zak gently butted his head against the side of my mine, and that did it for me. The tears seeped between my eyelids, and the emotions came pouring out like water from a faucet. I curled in on myself, remembering every little detail. The phone call while on lockdown, Zak begging me to wait on him so he could at least drive me to the airport, the state of shock I was in from the time I got home to the time my grandmother was wheeled through the emergency room. She was declared DOA. The funeral. Seeing her in a casket when she was supposed to be in her chair with her little candy dish and blanket, watching whatever god-awful game show or reality show was on TV. I cried more on that day than I had ever before. I had picked up my phone and clicked on the guys' names dozens of times. I gave up every time.
Zak brought my head against his chest, tucking my head under his chin. Aaron gripped my hands, rubbing the backs with his thumbs.
"You guys have no idea how many times I tried to call. As time went on, I just thought you guys would forget about me and not care."
"Now, you know that's not true," Zak said, almost scoldingly.
"Yeah, Mikes," Aaron agreed, "You're family."
I swallowed and nodded.
We stayed in that position for a long time. Zak said nothing as he kept me locked against him, and Aaron effortlessly brought a smile through my crying. There had definitely been a hole ever since I left the show. Now, I wished I hadn't waited so long.
A few hours later, Aaron went ahead and went home for the night. He had some work to do, leaving Zak and I alone in the house. We didn't say too much for a while, nor did we need to. He made tea while I cuddled with Gracie on the couch, watching TV. Zak sat next to Gracie, an arm gently resting on her hip.
"Zak?" I asked quietly, hating the silence and feeling the need to break it.
Zak looked up from his mug.
"Yeah?" he asked.
I reached over the dog and gripped his arm.
"You were right. Thank you," I said, referring to needing to vent.
He gave me a soft smile.
"You're welcome," he replied, "Can I ask you something?"
I nodded.
"Why didn't you come back? Did you really think we forgot and just dismissed you?" he asked, sounding hurt.
I laughed.
"No, Zak! No, after the funeral, shit snowballed. My parents were depressed. They were fighting. Then my aunt died. She had an aneurysm."
"Holy shit," Zak said quietly.
I just nodded.
"I guess I was kind of scared to come back because I thought, after she died, that maybe something came home with me," I explained.
Zak's eyebrows furrowed, concern shaping his features. He didn't like the sound of that.
"So, I sought out a cleanser. A spiritual cleanser. She performed a cleanse like we've had to do on investigations."
Zak just nodded.
"Right," he said.
"She said I had some residue from working on lockdowns, but I didn't have any attachments. No state of oppression. Nothing. The series of events that happened were just…coincidences."
Zak nodded again, taking my words in.
"But, she was able to effectively erase all the dark residue I didn't know I'd been carrying," I spoke up.
His eyes connected with mine.
"I thought about coming back after that," I said, "I really did. I even asked that cleanser if she would teach me how to do it."
Zak's eyebrows shot up his forehead in surprise.
"You became a spiritual cleanser?" he asked excitedly.
I laughed.
"Yeah. Professionally trained," I replied.
Zak's jaw fell and a smile slowly began to appear.
"Do you know, Michael—do you understand how much we need a spiritual cleanser on the team?"
His eyes were as wide as saucers.
"You can't go back to Flagstaff after telling me that!" he stated.
I burst out laughing.
"Zak-"
That man actually crawled up onto his knees and clasped his hands together, pleading.
"Mikey, please!" he begged.
I laughed and playfully shoved him.
"Stop!" I laughed.
He gave me a boyish grin and readjusted himself.
We settled into silence once more. Zak became absorbed in the show we were watching, but I quickly forgot about it. I glanced over at Zak. He didn't notice.
I hadn't realized how much I missed this. On any normal night, I would be spending countless hours with my head in my phone or computer, ignoring the world around me as I tried to forget my day at my shitty job and the fact that I would have to do it all over again the next day. There would be no phone calls. No outings with friends. As I sat with Zak, satisfyingly tired from laughing and face hurting from smiling, I realized that I might have hit a low. It was going to be difficult saying goodbye. Did I want to return to Ghost Adventures? Absolutely. Was I prepared to say yes? That was the nerve-racking part. Would I be good enough to do it again? Would I be able to satisfy the network? However, there was no doubt in my mind that things between Aaron, Zak and I would be the same. Sitting with him and Gracie felt like old times. It was as if the years spent away never happened.
Zak groaned and removed his glasses. He reached a long finger up and rubbed his eyes.
"Eyes are killing me," he grumbled.
I smiled sympathetically.
"Staring at the TV after eight hours on the road probably doesn't help," I said.
Zak sniffed, a small smile pulling at his lips.
"Ever since what happened at the Demon House, they've never been the same. I probably need to find some eye drops," he said.
I cut my eyes at him. Something happened to his eyes?
"What happened at the Demon House?" I asked.
He put his glasses back on and looked at me, surprise written on his face.
"You didn't watch it?" he asked.
"Zak, I'm not touching that one. You know how I feel about you messing with demonic shit!"
Gracie, sensing tension, hopped down from my lap and trotted to the kitchen to get a drink and avoid drama.
"What happened to your eyes?" I asked, toning my attitude down.
Zak sighed and pointed to the end table behind me.
"Turn that lamp on," he said.
I turned around and reached up to turn the lamp on as requested. When I turned back around, he removed his glasses again. One dark blue orb remained staring at me dead on, the other turned inward. I stared at him in shock, not understanding what I was looking at.
"What the hell?" I asked.
Zak let me lean forward and touch his shoulder, getting a closer look at his eyes.
"Doctors couldn't figure it out. I had the excruciating pain behind my eyes when I was in that house. I woke up with diplopia—permanent double vision. I believe it was caused by whatever evil entity was in that house. Surgery is too risky. I've been dealing with it since."
I just shook my head. Getting scratched was one thing. This?
"Jesus Christ, Zak! I knew if you kept on something bad would happen," I ranted.
He hung his head and put his glasses back on.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"Because I know how you react," he said, then smiled, "Same as how I reacted to you not telling me what happened."
He shrugged.
"Guess we're two of a kind," he finished.
I laughed at that.
"Maybe I do need to come back," I teased, "Just to keep your ass in line."
Zak laughed. He let his head fall back against the couch cushion.
"Maybe so," he agreed.
"Even though you never listened," I playfully griped and glanced up at the TV.
Zak let out a deep breath.
"I don't know, Mikey. After all that's happened," he paused for a moment.
I looked back over him.
"I think I'll listen to you this time," he finished.
I smiled at him and patted his knee.
"Holding you to that," I said.
Zak chuckled.
A few minutes later, the two of us decided we needed sleep. Zak was exhausted, and we needed to get up early if we wanted to get any hanging out done before it was time to head back to Arizona. Zak gave me a quick tour of one of the guest bathrooms, showing me how to use the overly complicated and extra fancy shower head. Afterward, we said goodnight, and my head hit the pillows around 1:30 in the morning. Between the time I closed my eyes and the time the smell of food waking me up, I slept better than I had in a long time.
***
"If you feel anything weird, or if you feel like you can't breathe, gonna pass out, whatever, tell me the second it happens. Some of this shit is dangerous and I don't want you getting hurt," Zak said as we exited the Rolls and stepped out onto the pavement of the Haunted Museum's parking lot.
I shot him a glare over the roof of the car.
"It's not like I've never been in a haunted location before," I retorted.
Zak gave me this stone cold stare he normally reserved for scolding Aaron.
"Michael, there are some things in here that are seriously fucked up," he said darkly.
I followed him as he walked around the nose of the car and up to the back door employee entrance.
"I just don't want you getting hurt," he continued, tone softening.
"The moment I get spooked, I'm hiding behind your ass," I popped off.
Zak smiled, trying not to laugh.
"I mean it!" I went on as he typed in the key-code to unlock the door.
Inside was dark, though I was not surprised. There were a few offices, including his and a few of his staff. The walls were adorned with fan photos and Las Vegas tourism awards. I looked over them as he led me through the historic home turned haunted museum.
Zak showed me the lighter of the collection, not even letting me go near rooms with health threatening objects. I was in absolute awe of the place. There were a few items I recognized, as he had kept these in his dungeon he had had at the old house. The rest were items I had never seen before. Antique puppets and clown dolls, serial killer possessions, and the haunted and creepy cars. He spoke so animatedly the entire walkthrough. He was so proud of this accomplishment. He had always said he would own a historic home. I had always thought he meant he would purchase and live in a creepy mansion, castle, or a church. He seemed just as pleased, if not more, with this outcome. I was extremely proud of him.
Aaron showed up during the middle of our walkthrough. He was so excited to tell me about his own experiences. I listened and laughed at the two trying to one-up the other. Aaron seemed just as proud of it, though.
"Creeped out yet?" Zak asked as we walked back to the offices.
I shrugged. I could feel the spirits here. Who couldn't? I felt the off-putting sensation of something, or someone, watching me. It wasn't new to me. The spirits were here, but they didn't bother me.
"Not really," I replied.
Zak raised an eyebrow at me.
"You can't tell me these little clown things don't creep you out!" Aaron said.
I laughed.
"Well, yeah, they do, but I'm not scared," I replied.
Aaron huffed.
"Nothing scares you," he grumbled.
Zak led us to his office and reached for his keys to unlock the door.
"Yeah, but I also didn't take her to the scary rooms. I'm trying to protect her a little from taking something home," he said.
Aaron snorted.
"How come you don't do that for me?" he asked.
Zak opened the door.
"Aaron!" he scolded.
"Take a bullet for Mikey but not for me?" Aaron went on.
Zak wasn't in the mood to argue.
"Shut the door, Aaron. Yes, I do," Zak replied, "I protect you guys as much as possible. Why do you think I get the most bullshit?"
I looked around the office while Zak reached for a stack of paper on his desk. The room was a stark contrast from the rest of the museum. It was light and airy, with various protective amulets hanging on the walls and sitting on tabletops. An incense burner sat on a window sill, ash from the last burn still sitting in the bottom. A bookcase lined the back wall, books, including the two he wrote, binders, and random macabre knickknacks filled the shelves. Aaron sat down in one of the chairs while I explored.
"I know you do, G," Aaron said.
Zak viciously sifted through his paperwork, getting irritated and slamming things down.
"What's wrong, bro?" Aaron asked.
Zak growled and shook his head.
"I can't find that fucking pink sheet! I need that mailed out today," he replied, "Did you see it when you were up here the other day?"
"Zak, I don't mess with your stuff," he replied, "I don't remember."
A folder fell to the floor, causing its contents to slip out.
"DAMMIT!" Zak barked.
I reached down and helped him stack his papers.
"Thanks, Mikey," he said, trying to cool his temper.
"Welcome," I said quietly.
Zak huffed and set the folder aside.
"Okay. I'll be back," he said as we walked around me, "You two stay. Mikey, don't let Aaron touch anything."
Aaron's jaw dropped.
"Whatever!" he argued.
But Zak was already out the door. I walked behind the desk and sat down in Zak's chair. As soon as I did, I spotted a pink piece of paper under a leather planner. I pulled it out and held it up to Aaron.
"Is this it?" I asked.
Aaron leaned forward and squinted.
"Oh my God! Yeah, that's it. Here," he said, holding out his hand.
I handed the sheet over and Aaron stood to open the door. I looked over the mess on the desk in shock. Zak was a neat-freak. No clutter was allowed. It stressed him out—threw off his mojo. To see his workspace in such a state was a little alarming.
Zak swung back by and thanked Aaron, then disappeared again. Aaron shook his head and shut the door.
"What the hell has been going on?" I asked.
Aaron was confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
I stared at him with wide eyes and gestured to the towers of papers.
"This is a shit-show, Aaron!"
He sighed and nodded.
"I know."
"Doesn't he have assistants that take care of all this?" I asked.
Aaron slowly shook his head.
"She quit too," he said.
I let my head fall back.
"He's been doing all of this on his own?" I asked.
"It's like I told you, Mikey," Aaron said.
He walked around the desk and leaned against the corner.
"Shit has not been good lately—especially with Zak. Ever since his dad passed away, it's been one thing after another. That's why I've been coming by and helping," he explained.
I stared up at Aaron in shock.
"He didn't tell me his dad was gone!"
Aaron nodded.
"When did this happen?" I asked.
"Right before Christmas. He's been having dreams about him. He's had a really rough time these past two months."
I sighed and picked at my fingers.
"He's lost, Michael," he said sadly.
I nodded. I hated this for him. As capable as Zak was of taking care of business, the empire he had built was too much for one person. Doing it on top of mourning over the loss of a parent? Impossible.
Zak walked back into the office. He looked relieved now that he had found his paper.
"Okay," he said breathlessly, "I'm done. Mikey, do you want to grab a bite to eat before we hit the road?"
I nodded and stood up from his chair.
"Yeah. That sounds like a plan," I replied.
Aaron turned away from me.
"You wanna join us, Aaron?" Zak asked.
He shook his head.
"Nah, bro. I'm good. I need to head out, anyway."
I watched Aaron sadly.
"Are you sure?" I asked, hoping to get at least one more hour of some time with my brother before I headed home.
Aaron smiled and held his arms out. I reached up to hug him.
"I gotta get some errands done and head to Bacon's house," he said, "So, this is goodbye for now."
I squeezed his slender frame just a little tighter.
"You come back and visit us again soon. Okay?"
I nodded into his shoulder.
"I won't wait so long next time," I promised.
Aaron let me go and smiled down at me.
"Love ya, kiddo," he said.
I smiled sadly.
"Love you, too, bro," I quietly replied.
Aaron put an arm around my shoulders and turned to Zak.
"What's the plan, G? Are you spending the night?" he asked.
Zak nodded.
"Crash at Mikey's tonight," he replied.
By the time we reached Flagstaff, it would be close to dinner time. I had offered to let Zak spend the night so he wouldn't have to drive the four hours back home with tired eyes. It gave me peace of mind and a little more time with him.
Aaron raised an eyebrow at him.
"You better behave," he said.
Zak just rolled his eyes.
"Aaron," he groaned.
Aaron just laughed, removing his arm from my shoulders.
"I'm messing with you!"
Zak just shook his head.
"Make sure you swing by and check on Gracie tonight," he said.
Aaron was still laughing.
"I will. I will," he said.
He reached up and brought Zak in to a bro-hug. I smiled at the two as I watched them.
"See ya later, man," Zak said.
"Drive safe. No shenanigans or hanky-panky," Aaron said playfully.
Zak smiled at that.
"Stop it," he said.
Aaron grinned and shrugged. Zak shook his head and opened the door, gesturing for me to go through first, Aaron following.
Zak locked up and we met with Aaron in the parking lot, talking a little and saying one last goodbye before Zak and I hit the road. When Aaron left, Zak twirled his keyring around his index finger.
"Alright, Mikey," he spoke up, "What are ya hungry for? There's a pretty good little barbecue joint up the road from here."
He started to pass me when I grabbed his arm.
"That sounds good to me. Hey, what a sec."
Zak stopped in his tracks and looked down at me, concerned.
"What's up?"
I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest. I was a little nervous about bringing up his father, so I chose my words wisely and kept my tone light.
"Why didn't you tell me about your dad?" I asked.
His face fell and he groaned.
"Michael—"
"You let me sit there last night and boo-hoo about my bullshit when your own father just passed away!"
"Mikey, your grandfather has irreversible brain damage and your grandmother was murdered!" he argued, "I was worried about you! You kept me in the dark for years!"
I clenched my jaw, trying to control my temper.
"I know. I'm sorry," I said in defeat, "I'm okay, though. It's you I'm worried about. Aaron told me about the shit you've been going through. Juggling all of this by yourself while mourning over the loss of your dad?"
Zak stared at his feet. I watched as he ground his teeth, the muscles in his jaw twitching. I stepped up closer to him, tearing his focus away from his shoes.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
It was like a switch had been flipped. I watched as his resolve shattered with his ego like glass on the concrete. He transferred his weight from one foot to the other. He then looked up at me with the most heartbroken expression. His eyes watered and he shook his head, as if trying to keep himself together.
"Things are going to shit, Mikey. I can't—" he made a fist and slammed it against his leg in frustration, "I don't know how much longer I can keep this together. I—"
Words failed him. He backed himself into the grill of his car and leaned on the edge of the hood. His eyes then watered as he looked up to the sky.
"I miss him," he whispered.
I sighed and stepped up to him. He let his head drop and shook it. I walked into his chest and embraced him. Heavy arms locked around me as he buried his face in my neck. My heart broke into a million pieces when I felt his torso shudder and a muffled cry rip from his throat. I closed my eyes and held the back of his head with one hand and rubbed his back with the other.
"I'm so sorry, Zak," I whispered.
Zak's pain poured out of him and flowed through me like a flood. I had never lost a parent, but I could only imagine that pain—not to mention fear. It doesn't matter how old you are. Death of a parent or grandparent brings you that much closer to the head of the line. The overwhelming feeling of terror that any child has felt when getting separated from a parent repeats itself. I couldn't imagine losing my own parents, and though it was inevitable, I never wanted the day to come. To see my best friend this way—to feel his tears on my skin and his body shake, I felt it all.
"Tell me what I can do," I said.
Zak shrugged his shoulders and lifted his head. His cheeks were soaked. He struggled to old in a sob, trembling as fresh tears spilled over. I didn't hesitate to reach up and wipe his face. It was in that moment that he went from the big, bad ghost hunter to a son who needed help—needed security. Aaron had been right. Zak was lost. He was a pinball on the loose, hoping to hit the right thing and receive some kind of positive outcome.
Zak's eyes finally flashed up to me. He had never shown sadness to me before. Not this way. He had a hard time expressing his feelings. Even on the show, he kept his eyes off of the camera when something particularly devastating happened. He looked terrified, hopeless, and exhausted from all of it.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, "It's still raw, you know?"
I nodded understandingly. I didn't dare tell him it would stay raw for a long time.
"I know. It's okay. You don't have to apologize," I reassured him.
Zak nodded. I reached for his wrists, letting my hands drop to his and gave them a gentle squeeze. A small smile appeared through his sadness.
"If you need me, I can call in sick and stay another night," I offered.
His smile widened at that.
"No, don't do that. I got it," he replied.
He wouldn't meet my eyes. I leaned down and searched his face. When his eyes connected with mine, I raised an accusing eyebrow. He cracked a grin.
"Really, Mikey! It's alright. I don't want you calling in and getting in trouble because of me."
I finally smiled at that, satisfied with his response.
"I guess we're both guilty of shutting each other out. I promise I won't do that anymore," he said.
I smiled and squeezed his hands before letting go.
"Me, too," I agreed, then decided to change the subject, "Come on. Tell me about this barbecue place."
At that, his eyes lit up and he spun around to go to the door.
"Dude! It's so good!"
***
It took us longer than expected to reach Flagstaff. We honestly did not have the urge to rush back. Zak took his time driving. We talked the majority of the way nonstop, and by we, I mean him. When we stopped at our halfway point for gas, he handed me the keys. I stared at him in shock. He just smiled.
"I trust ya," was all he said.
I had a blast driving the Wraith. It was big, powerful, and a dream to drive. It was like driving a cloud down the highway. I played my music and got a kick out of the stares I received from others. Zak snoozed, not feeling any road bumps and fully trusting me with his precious car.
We arrived in Flagstaff long after dark. Starved, we decided to grab a quick bite before heading home.
"Any requests?" I asked, flicking on the turn signal as we entered town.
Zak, who had just awoken from his nap, stretched and raised the seat back up. He reached for his glasses, which were resting in the cupholder. He placed them over his eyes and straightened himself in the seat.
"Nah," he said.
I shot him a look. This was a man who was very particular about his food. The healthier, the better.
"Any place we can't go?" I asked.
Zak smiled.
"If you take me to a McDonald's, you'll never hear the end of it," he teased.
I laughed at that. That would be a sight—a Rolls in a McDonald's parking lot.
We settled on a sub shop where we could get whatever we wanted. They piled the meat high, and it would satisfy Zak's protein addiction. Besides, they had a variety of veggies and healthy bread options. I knew I made the right choice when he wolfed his sandwich down before I did.
When we were finished, we slowly made our way to the car with a refilled drinks. I was looking over his arm as we watched an Instagram video Aaron had posted. We giggled as he made a funny face, then almost tripped on something. As he scrolled to the next post, my phone rang in my pocket. I fished it out to read the screen.
"Did I show you what Gracie did to my Christmas tree?" Zak asked.
On screen was the name of number of my landlord. Dread filled my chest.
"No," I replied distantly, "Hang on."
Zak looked up from his phone to see mine ringing.
"Oh!" he said quietly.
I pressed the answer button and put the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I asked.
My landlord's voice came out frantically over an overwhelmingly loud background commotion.
"Michael?" she asked, "Michael, where are you?"
I looked up at Zak. I'm sure the confusion was clearly written on my face. We stopped walking. Zak mirrored my confusion.
"I just stopped to get a sub. I'm about five minutes away. Why?" I asked.
In the background, I could hear sirens wailing. What confused me more is that I could hear them on the phone and in the distance.
"Michael, you need to get to the apartments right away," she said.
I looked up in the direction of my apartment building.
"Why? What's going—"
That's when I saw it. In the blackness arose an orange glow, awful gray smoke billowed skyward.
"I'm on my way," I said, then hung up.
A police cruiser came screaming down the street, followed by not one, but two ambulances.
"Holy shit!" Zak exclaimed.
He yanked his keys from his pocket and tapped my arm, breaking me out of my stupor.
"Let's go!"
I blindly followed, jumping into the passenger seat as Zak started the car. He ripped out of the parking lot, not caring that he was cutting people off or speeding as he slammed his foot on the gas. I held the blue leather seats for dear life. The car showed its true colors, the V12 engine snarling and the excessive amount of horsepower slamming me into my seat. I had been used to driving it gently. Zak drove like a bat of hell.
We ripped onto a street a block from my apartments. There were people and cars everywhere. The street had been blocked off. Just a block down, the building I called home was engulfed in flames.
Zak parked in a safe spot and turned the car off. I ripped my seatbelt off, climbed out of the car, and took off running.
"Mikey!" Zak called.
"Let's go!" was all I said.
I heard Zak tear off after me. I ran into the crowd. All of my neighbors surrounded several sets of ambulances. Some were in the backs getting oxygen and treated for any burns or other injuries. Zak caught up with me and took me by the shoulders.
"Michael!" another man's voice called.
Zak and I spun around to see my parents run up to me, my father with my mother on his arm.
"Dad?" I asked.
He walked up to me and hugged me, then looked up at Zak.
"Zak? Didn't expect to see you," he said.
Zak nodded shyly.
"He drove me back down," I explained.
My mom hugged me, then nodded to Zak.
"Zak," she said stiffly.
"Hey, Marni," he said.
My dad, who liked Zak better than my mom did, shook his hand.
"Thanks for driving her," he said.
Zak smiled.
"Yeah, Chris. No problem."
I couldn't take my eyes off of the blaze.
"What happened?" I asked.
My dad crossed his arms over his chest.
"Gas leak. The entire east side of the building is destroyed," he replied.
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"But, my apartment was on the east side," I said quietly.
My mom bit her lip and took my hand.
"I'm going to go see if I can find some more information," my dad said.
My mom followed behind him. We watched as they slipped back through the crowd in search of someone of importance.
My landlord appeared a few moments later to check in with me, explaining that she called my parents when she couldn't get a hold of me. I checked my phone to see if I had a missed call. I didn't see one, and figured I must have been out of service when she called.
When my parents returned, my dad's expression was solemn.
"The apartment's gone, sweetheart," he said.
I looked down, trying to process everything.
"All of my stuff?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah," he replied quietly, "You don't want to see your car. Fire burned right through."
I let out a shallow breath.
"I had a fireproof safe in my bedroom. Do you think it survived?" I asked.
My dad nodded.
"It'll get taken care of," he reassured me.
I nodded.
Everything. All of my things had gone up in my flames. My photography equipment, my computer, my clothes, my car. All I had to my name were in Zak's trunk.
I had forgotten Zak was behind me when he put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped.
"Mikey," he said softly.
I looked up at him and a lump formed in my throat. My breathing caught. My kneecaps and hands trembled.
"I don't know what to say," I managed to get out.
Zak pulled me into a hug.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," he said.
I closed my eyes, tears seeping through my eyelids. I pulled away from Zak, not letting go of his arms as I looked at the fire over my shoulder.
"I guess," I began, sniffing, "Looks like this would be a good time to take you up on that offer."
I looked back up at Zak. His eyes widened in the flashing red and blue lights.
"Need a roommate?" I asked lightly, trying to somehow ease the heaviness of the situation.
He was hard to read for a moment. His eyes were glued wide open, the gears of thought turning inside his head.
"Actually, I do," he finally replied.
I felt my jaw drop and I stared at him in shock.
"Zak, I was kidding," I said quickly.
His expression was absolutely intense.
"I'm serious, Mikey. It's just me and Gray in a big empty house. It's lonely. Whether you want to stay for a little while or a long time, I don't care. It's not like I'm going to charge you rent. You're my best friend. I'd never do that. The last thing I want is for you to be homeless."
I felt tears reemerge at the mention of the word "homeless."
"We can discuss details later, but if you really want to, you can move in with me," he said.
I yanked him back into a hug.
"Really?" I asked.
I felt him nod.
"Really, really," he said.
When we parted, my dad put a hand on my back. My mom cleared her throat.
"What were your originally plans for tonight?" she asked.
I wiped my nose and sniffed.
"Zak was going to stay the night. Head out before I left for work in the morning," I said, "Now, I'm not sure."
My mom studied Zak's face for a moment.
"Zak, look at me," she ordered.
Zak immediately obeyed. She examined his eyes before making a decision.
"You're not driving back to Vegas tonight. Michael, his eyes are pink," she said.
I could just barely see his eyes for the reflection of the ambulance lights.
"Okay. You two come to the house. Zak can take your brother's old room. We'll decide what to do in the morning. Michael, do you want to ride with Zak or us?" my mom asked.
My mind went on automatic at that point. The acrid mixture of diesel fumes and burning building was hazing my mind, and I knew Zak couldn't be breathing it for much longer.
"I'll ride with Zak," I replied numbly.
My dad nodded.
"Follow us," he said to Zak.
Zak nodded. My mom then hugged me and apologized.
"We'll get it all figured out. Just come home tonight," she said.
I nodded and gave her a small squeeze before we parted, and I walked with Zak to the car.
On the way to my parents', we were dead silent. Zak didn't even bother turning the radio on, and in the padded cell that was the Rolls, I could hear my ears ringing. I couldn't take my mind off of the fire. What if Zak had never called me?
"Hey, Zak?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah, Mikey?"
I looked over to him.
"You know if you had never called me, I might have burned to death," I said.
He sighed heavily.
"I was just thinking that," he replied, "Did I tell you what happened in that dream?"
I shook my head.
"I was encircled in fire, but when I touched it, I repelled it," he explained.
I thought for a minute, trying to interpret his dream, but I was too tired.
"You're psychic," was all I could think to say.
He laughed at that.
"Maybe," he admitted, then looked over at me, "You wanna head back with me tomorrow?"
I nodded.
"I'll call work. Tell them to take me off the schedule," I replied, then smiled, "Kind of relieving, actually."
Zak smiled.
"We can talk Ghost Adventures when you've had some rest," he said.
I felt my heart sink.
"Zak, all of my equipment is gone," I told him.
"Mikey, don't worry about that," he said as he turned into my parents' driveway.
I stared at him in disbelief. He put the car in park and shut the engine off. The interior lights came on, illuminating us. He was staring at me.
"Don't worry about a damn thing. Let me take care of it," he said.
"But, Zak—"
He leaned over the console.
"Just come home," he said sternly.
I could only nod. Zak reached his long arms around me and hugged me for the thousandth time.
The entire weekend, though fun while it lasted, had been an emotional rollercoaster for the two of us. Eight years had simply been far too long. We needed each other at this point in time, and whether it was psychic powers, the universe doing its thing, work of the paranormal, or something else entirely, I knew he had that dream for a reason. We were meant to reunite now.
It was time to go home.