Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for original characters and idea's. :P

Chapter 4.

Cali P.O.V.

Groaning, I slammed my pencil down and rested my forehead on all of the papers scattered across my desk. I want to graduate high school before I died and since I probably wont live long enough to be a senor, I've been going crazy with school work, studying and working harder than ever so I could graduate this year. So far I've finished all of my sophomore and junior work, but I've been getting stuck on the senior stuff.

Two days had passed since my breakdown at the beach, and I was more depressed now then ever.

I closed my eyes and thought about Seth, about everyone.

I wonder how they will react when the day comes that I leave the earth. Will the feel guilty? Be sad and cry for me? Or will they just not give a damn? Act like I never existed?

I felt the tears building up. I didn't want them to not care. I wanted them to miss me, to cry for me. Because like it or not, I had been their friend and they had been mine.

I knew in my heart that they could call me horrid things, do cruel things to me, and I would still love them.

And I will miss them. Even in death.

My eyes narrowed and I pushed my chair backwards, standing up so fast that I almost knocked it over.

Fuck this! If I am going to die, I don't want to die leaving things like this with my friends!

With determination in my eyes, I flew into my closet and pulled of my sweat pants and shirt.

I was going to see them. I was going to see them and forgive them. I was going to tell them.

After I pulled on jeans, a long sleeve, orange and white striped shirt and my black flip flops, I glanced down at the picture of Seth and I at my 15'th birthday party.

I need to tell him. Everything. Especially about how I've been in love with him since we were thirteen. After all, I don't know if he'll ignore me or what when I go over, and I might not ever get another chance.

I would tell Seth first, then the others.

Securing the butterfly necklace around my neck, I grabbed my purse and excited my room, practically flying down the stairs. Dad looked up from the TV and smiled at me.

"Baby girl! I didn't expect to see you down stairs at all today. You should take a break on that school work and take a nap."

I smiled. "Thanks dad, but I've had enough sleep. I'm going to go out for a while, ok?"

He nodded. "Sure thing. Where you heading?"

I bit my lip and sighed, plopping down on the couch next to him.

"I'm going to Seth's. I'm going to tell him."

Dad's eyes widened but then quickly softened. He turned the TV off and set the remote on the side table, turning slightly so he could look me in the eyes.

"Are you sure? I mean, I've got nothing against it, but are you ready for him to know, Cali?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm positive."

"Alright." Dad nodded.

"I want him to know, dad. I want them all to know. We were friends forever and even with everything that's happened, it just feels wrong keeping it from them." I felt a lump forming in my throat. "I'm getting weaker each day, and I don't want to leave things between us the way that they are right now."

His eyes watered and he grabbed my hands in his own. "You are the strongest and bravest person I know. I'm very proud of you Cali."

I smiled a watery smile and leaned forward to hug him. He held onto me like I would disappear if he let go. His grip was a little tight, but I didn't complain. After all, I would disappear eventually and I wanted every hug I could get.

His light sobs broke my heart and I hugged him tighter, resting my head on his chest.

"I'm here, daddy." I whispered through my own tears. I could fell his heartbeat from where my head lay and I smiled slightly, setting one hand over his heart. "I'll always be here."

I smiled as the wind blew through the open window of my red Jeep Cherokee, messing up my hair slightly.

Yup, I said my Jeep. I was turning 16 in two weeks, but dad had gotten me a car earlier. I knew he did it because he wanted me to experience driving before I died, but I pretended not to know. I also pretend not to know that Chief Charlie Swan over looked the little detail of me being only 15 because of my "condition".

Once I arrived at the Clearwater residence, I pulled into the driveway shut off the car. Sue's car was gone, but Leah's old beat up truck was present. I just sat there for a minute, staring at the house I had once called a second home, then sighed.

I pulled the keys from the ignition, unbuckled my seatbelt, opened the door, grabbed my purse off of the passenger side seat and hopped out. I jammed my keys into my purse and shut the door.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly approached the house. I knocked on the front door and bit my lip as I waited. I could hear footsteps making their way towards the door from inside.

Seconds later, the door opened to reveal a tired looking Seth.

"Can I hel….Cali!" His eyes lit up and a huge grin broke out on his face when he realized it was me. I was totally shocked when he reached forward to hug me. I think he had a fever because I could feel his burning skin even through the shirt he had on.

My eyes widened as his arms wrapped around me and he pulled me close. I got over my shock quickly though and relaxed into the hug, closing my eyes and smiling.

"Hi Seth." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist. I don't know how long we stood there, just hugging, but I didn't care. I missed Seth and his hug's so much and would gladly stay like this forever if I could.

To soon though, he pulled away. I immediately missed his warmth and his arms around me. His grin was replaced with a soft smile as he looked at me.

"I can't believe you're here."

"Yeah, it's been awhile." I returned his smile. "Can we talk?"

He nodded excitedly. "Yeah, of course! Come in!"

He stepped back and gestured for me to step inside. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing at his excitement as I entered the house. I don't know why he was this excited after he avoided me for so long, but I wasn't going to question it.

He closed the door behind me. "My mom's out shopping and Leah's working, so it's totally private." He assured me. "Unless you don't want it to be private? We could go down to the beach or…."

"It's fine Seth." I chuckled, cutting off his rambling. "I wanted it to be private so this is perfect."

He smiled and plopped down onto the couch, patting the seat next to him. I dropped my purse on the ground next to my feet as I sat next to him.

My leg started bouncing with nervousness and Seth noticed.

"You still do that."

"Nerves." I shrugged.

"Nervous Nelly." He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. "Smart Alec."

"You're such a dork."

"Well you're a dweb."

"Nerd."

"Twerp."

"Twit!"

"Moron!"

"Dumbass!" His eye's twinkled playfully.

"Ass Hat!" I tried to hide my grin.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, before cracking up. I was laughing so hard that I snorted a few times, causing us to laugh even harder. We fell back against the couch and I ended up leaning on him slightly.

Once we calmed down and got the last few chuckles out, I turned my head to look at him, my eye watering and a sad smile on my face.

"I miss you, Seth."

He looked at me with guilt in his eyes and all over his face.

"I miss you too. I know I've been a total ass, and I've got a lot of explaining to do."

"I'll say." I mumbled.

"Please, hear me out?" He begged. I nodded and sat up straight. He followed my lead and surprisingly grabbed my hands.

"It's a long story. After my dad died, something happened to Leah and I…..something life changing. We were confused and scared and didn't know what to do, but Sam Uley helped us. Unfortunately, Leah and I weren't allowed to talk to you or see you anymore….."

"Sam Uley?!" I cut him off. "The same Sam Uley who broke Leah's heart?! He helped you? Really?" I asked, very pissed off.

Seth sighed. "Like I said, it's a long story."

"Oh, I bet it is." I huffed. "And you weren't allowed to see me anymore? What the fuck Seth?! Since when did you start letting people command you like that?!"

"Listen Cali…."

"No you listen Seth!" I exclaimed angrily, flying up from the couch. "I went through hell when you started ignoring me! Maybe I didn't comfort you or help you enough when your dad passed, but I tried! I stayed by your side through the whole thing and then a few days later you just start avoiding me?! You were my best friend!"

Regret flashed in his eyes as he stood up. "No, Cali. You helped me more than you could imagine."

"Then what the hell happened Seth?!" I all but screeched. "We were best friends! And you ditched me for Sam's club or cult or whatever the fuck it is! It tore me apart Seth! I needed you! I fucking needed you and you abandoned me! Do you know how depressed I was?!"

By now I was hysterical. Seth's eyes were full of guilt and he stepped forward and pulled me to his chest. I struggled against him, trying to break free of his grip, but he was too strong. So I collapsed against him instead, sobbing hysterically.

"I'm sorry." He kissed the top of my head. "I'm so sorry."

It seemed like forever as he held me in his arms, whispering into my hair and rubbing my back soothingly. I was able to calm down slightly and stop sobbing, but a few tears still made their way down my face.

"I'm sick, Seth."

He pulled away slightly so he could look at my face.

"Do you have a cold of something?" He asked, confused. I sniffled and shook my head, looking into his eyes.

"As much as I wish it was that, it's not that kind of sickness." I sighed and his eye brows furrowed in confusion.

"I'm dying."