Ficawesome Gift Exchange- TAKE 2
Title: Miles to Go
Written for: Skychaser
Rating: T for language and themes
Prompt: 'The distance from A to where you'd Be is only finger lengths that I see'
Summary: Bella Swan is about to embark upon a road trip to rainy Forks, Washington, to visit her boyfriend Jake when on a whim she offers a lift to a hitch hiker. Little does Bella know that this man will alter not only her views of the world but ultimately, her future. AU and AH.
If you would like to see all the stories that are part of this exchange then please visit the Facebook group Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps.
Chapter Four
'Kicking the Habit'
Bella's POV
I had categorically refused to allow Cullen access to the keys to my Mom's car and so, as a kind of compromise, I had agreed that we would spend the remainder of the night in a rest stop. I was fairly certain this was illegal but decided that it was preferable to ploughing us into oncoming traffic.
We sat in the back of the Aveo, our knees curled into our chests as we talked, passing back and forth a cigarette that Cullen had assured me would 'calm my nerves'. So far, all it had succeeded in doing was leaving a bitter taste in my mouth and causing me to almost cough up a lung. Still, I took a long drag, spluttered a little, and then handed it to Edward.
"I can't believe you nearly killed me," Cullen repeated for the fifth time since the car had stopped. I rolled my eyes and flicked a piece of lint at him, refusing to rise to the bait. Cullen smiled and wound down the car window to dispose of the remains of the cigarette.
"So, Seattle huh?" I probed, examining my nails nonchalantly. So far Cullen had offered me little information about his decision to move to Seattle other than some cock and bull story about a cousin who was apparently the next Jimi Hendrix.
"Uh huh," he replied, his responding smile somewhat guarded. His eyes narrowed, and I felt my heartbeat quicken. Swallowing hard, I turned to stare out of the window, unnerved by the effect his eyes had begun to have on me.
"I told you why I'm going to Forks," I said, hazarding a glance at Cullen who was examining his fingernails anyway. "It's only fair. And not that BS story about starting a band."
I almost laughed out loud at the expression he shot me; wounded, like a puppy that had just been kicked.
"You didn't buy that one, huh?" he asked, chuckling as he shook his head at the dubious look that I wore. I smiled, then settled back against the seat to hear what Cullen had to say, sure that the story would be entertaining.
"So what do you want to know?" He crossed his arms in front of his body in an oddly protective gesture that seemed strange on him. I frowned.
"Well, let's start with the real reason you're headed to Seattle instead of spending the summer with your family before college starts."
"They're not my family," Culled replied, his voice hardening. I blinked in surprise.
"Family feud?" I guessed, more sympathetic and gentle than I was sure I had ever been before when addressing Cullen.
"No, they're not my family. I'm adopted."
I blinked, stunned into total silence. I felt a familiar blush creep across my cheeks and I realised that I was embarrassed. It was so like me to pick the touchy subject for discussion.
"Sorry," I murmured, unsure of how else to articulate what I was now feeling. Cullen's eyebrows shot up simultaneously and he reached out, brushing his fingertips against my knee. His touch was fleeting and my jeans prevented him from connecting with actual skin, but nonetheless my entire body tingled. I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable, and edged a little further out of Edward's reach. He appeared not to notice or, if he did, he didn't call me on it.
"Nah, you didn't know," Edward said after a pause, "hell, I didn't even know up until about a year ago."
"Your pare..." I trailed off, struggling to correct my almost botched sentence, "Esme and Carlisle never told you? That must have been... rough."
Edward shook his head, "They figured it was something I didn't need to know, until I started asking questions and some things didn't make sense anymore. Like how there's a heap of pictures of Rose and Mo-... Esme, in the hospital when she was born, but none of me. And how they'd never let me see my birth certificate. The biggest giveaway was when I found some old photos of them on holiday in St. Lucia. Esme should have been seven months pregnant with me at the time. She was wearing a bikini and looking kind of hot for a woman about to pop a kid."
"That's awful," I said quietly, unsure of how to react to this news.
Edward merely shrugged, beginning to finger a hole in the knees of his jeans.
"I'd like to say I'm over it," he said finally, his eyes glistening in a tell tale fashion in the light cast from the highway, "but I think we both know that's a lie."
"People get over things in their own time," I replied, "and some never get over their issues. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel."
Edward glanced up at me sharply, taken aback by the bitter edge to my tone that I was all too aware was present. He appeared to want to question me but something stopped him, and for a moment I was sorry it did.
"So, Seattle," I ventured, licking my suddenly dry lips. Edward nodded once.
"My birth mother was a friend of Esme's," he explained, a strange half smile forming on his lips as he spoke, "they met in college. A couple years after graduation, she comes to Esme six months pregnant by a guy she met in a bar. She didn't even know his name. Said she owed people money, was into drugs, and had no place to live."
"Did Esme and Carlisle try to help her?" I asked, enthralled by Edward's story almost as though it were some drama I was watching unfold on a soap opera.
"They offered her somewhere to stay and to help her find a job but she wasn't real interested," Edward murmured, turning to stare out of the windscreen as he spoke, "so they offered her another solution. They would take the baby and raise it as their own, and she got to walk away to live the rest of her life. Esme didn't think she could have children so I guess it seemed like her only chance at the time."
"Did they ever hear from her again?" I asked, my hand creeping forwards and entwining itself with Edward's. He peered down at our interlaced fingers with surprise but when he spoke his tone was nothing but neutral, although he squeezed my hand.
"She wrote to them every month until I turned four, then all of a sudden nothing," Edward said, "the last letter she sent was from a house in Seattle. She said she'd cleaned up, met someone, gone back to school... she didn't even mention me once."
I wanted desperately to ask Edward what he was doing then. Why he was seeking out a woman that had handed him over to a friend rather than suffer the inconvenience of raising him. What kind of mother could give her baby away as though it were last season's jacket? Suddenly, his earlier comments about Jake made a world of sense.
Instead, I asked, "You think she'll still be there?"
Edward paused, deep in concentration. After a moment, he shrugged and then a mere second later shook his head as though his own mind was in turmoil over what he might find.
"I don't know," he answered, and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, "but if I don't try then I'll spend the rest of my life wondering."
I nodded as if I understood although I could never truly hope to. Despite falling pregnant with me at a young age, Renee had never once regretted my existence or acted as anything less than a doting parent.
"What do the Cullens think about this?" I inquired, although I thought that I already knew the answer to my question. I had not seen Edward make or receive a single call during the entire journey. I had contacted both Renee and Charlie several times respectively using my cell, but Edward had not so much as sent a text message.
"They were pretty mad," he said, eyes growing cold, "they can't understand why I would want to find her after she abandoned me. Carlisle threatened to cancel all my cards and my cell contract if I went, so I promised I wouldn't and then withdrew as much cash as I could before you picked me up."
"Oh," I whispered, my eyes suddenly filling with tears as I realised just how much Edward wanted this, and just how much I had misjudged him. He flashed me a smile then which I struggled to return with my bottom lip quivering hopelessly. I dug around in my pocket and retrieved the bill that Edward had presented me with earlier. Determined, I pushed it towards him, ignoring the protests I was met with.
"Take it," I commanded, pushing Edward's hand away as he tried to slip the note back into my pocket, "I don't need it. Not really."
"So you were just being a bitch then?" he questioned, his expression deadpan but his eyes dancing in a mischievous manner. With a half smile, I nodded.
"I do that a lot I guess," I said, a blush rising on my cheeks as I considered the way I had treated my poor mother and Phil over the last twelve months.
"I don't believe that," Edward murmured, his body suddenly seeming inches closer to mine than it had been just a second ago. With surprise, and the faintest sense of dread, I realised that I no longer objected to his proximity.
"You'd better," I countered, my breathing erratic as Edward closed the distance between us. My back was pressed against the door of the car, the handle digging into my spine, as Edward hovered over me. Slowly, he lowered his head towards mine and before I really knew what was happening, his soft, slightly moist lips were brushing my own in a kiss that was surprisingly tender. My fingers crept to the back of his neck, forcing him closer, and then swept upwards to entangle in his hair. Edward continued to kiss me and I returned the gesture with hungry passion.
However, as Edward's hand slid from my cheek to caress my bare collarbone, something in me snapped like an elastic-band. I twisted my face away from Edward's and pushed him back with surprising force. We broke apart, panting, my eyes wild and his hurt.
"I'm sorry..." he breathed, running one hand through his hair and shaking his head as though to dispel a fog. I nodded, my fingertips touching my lips where I could still taste Edward. I groaned softly, closed my eyes, and shook my head.
"No, I'm sorry," I whispered, fat tears beginning to slide down my cheeks now and splash onto the front of my shirt. "I gave you the wrong impression. I should never have kissed you back. I don't want this... Jake..."
Edward nodded, holding up one hand to signify his understanding, but I could see the disappointment reflected in his eyes. My hand reached down underneath the driver's seat and as I felt my fingers close around cool wood, I gave a sharp tug. Edward watched as I pulled the mahogany box free and dropped it onto his knee without a word. He gazed down at the box, his long fingers caressing the intricately carved border and the impression of two wolves baying at the moon that dominated the centre.
"This is... extraordinary..." said Edward, his eyes roving every millimetre of the box in appreciation for the craftsmanship that had gone into it. I recalled the first time I had laid eyes on it and the eager look on Jake's face as he awaited my verdict. I had of course been thrilled with the gift. It had been the night before I had returned to Phoenix; the night that we had finally given into our more carnal desires. I had hated my mother all the more in the morning when I awoken, wrapped in the warmth of Jake's arms.
"Jake made it for me," I explained, feeling faintly nauseas as I thought of my boyfriend and the way I had betrayed him only minutes ago.
"You can tell he cares a great deal for you," Edward said, glancing up at me with a saddened smile that I knew I was in part responsible for. "It's easy to see why."
I chuckled, wondering what Edward could possibly see in me since I had barely been civil to him throughout the entire journey. It had literally taken him to save my life before I would even admit to myself that the guy wasn't half bad.
Flipping the lid of the box open, Edward began to leaf through the contents. I did not object; simply watching mutely as Edward fingered the stack of letters that sat on the top of the box.
"Man, there must be a hundred letters here," Edward muttered, picking up the first letter he touched and raising it to eye level. " 'The distance from A to where you'd Be is only finger lengths that I see'. Deep."
"243 letters. One for every day we were apart. He was always doing that," I explained, grinning as I took the letter that Edward offered me and ran my fingertips lightly over Jake's spidery scrawl. "Sending me quotes from songs, or books, things he thinks we can relate to. I guess he just..."
"I get it," Edward interjected as he watched me replace the letter and slam the lid of the box closed. "And I'm sorry, love. Really."
"Why do you do that?" I asked, replacing the box and folding my hands across my stomach. Edward cocked his head to one side and I realised that he had no clue as to what I was referring. "Why do you call me 'love'? I mean, it's so..."
"Sexy?" Edward supplied, waggling his thick eyebrows in a manner that only made me collapse into helpless giggles. I shook my head.
"Geriatric," I offered, "you sound like an old man or something."
"Ok, an impulse I guess I'll try to curb from now on," Edward replied, laughing as he dug a candy bar out of his pocket and tore into the wrapper. He broke off a chunk and handed it to me. I accepted the candy gratefully and shoved it into my mouth whole, half closing my eyes as the chocolate began to melt on my tongue. Food had not crossed my lips since I had shovelled down half a bag of chips at a gas station. I was aware of the faintly orgasmic moans escaping my mouth but was powerless to stop them. It was embarrassing to say the least.
"You're extra cute when you make that face," Edward quipped, biting off a sizeable chunk of candy and winking at me. I shot him a pointed yet only half serious glare before reaching towards him and attempting to swipe the rest of the bar. Edward pulled his arm out of reach just in time, and my fingers closed around thin air.
"Asshole," I accused, a warm smile spread across my lips.
"Priss," Edward shot back, making a show of licking melted chocolate from his fingers. "This is so good!"
"Jerk," I said.
"Bitch," Edward laughed, popping the last chunk of candy into his mouth and imitating my own previous 'yummy' face before he swallowed it down.
The trading of insults continued until the sun rose and, with our bodies entangled under Edward's leather jacket, we both finally succumbed to sleep.