(A/n Thank you to every single person who took the time to review, even if it was just a few words it really does help. I am going to try to reply to all of you when I can but until then thanks everyone for supporting my story ^_^ )

Kamran Hamid:
"Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny."

Previously:

Finally I ascended the staircase, knowing I had to take a shower and get properly dressed. I slammed into my room and kept my eyes resolutely glued to the floor, knowing the path to my closet this way because I was usually always watching my feet anyway to make sure I didn't trip.

I nearly brained myself on the wall when I heard a quiet noise outside the window.

It's just the wind moving the tree outside Bella, don't be silly. I admonished myself, starting to pull clothes out at random.

It came again. I snapped my head towards the window, heart leaping like a salmon in my chest. Could it be...?

After expecting amber eyes to meet my own it was a crushing disappointment when they met nothing but the green of the tree and the permanent cloudy grey of the sky.

I scowled and wandered over towards the window to pick up a t-shirt from the floor.

What were you expecting Bella? A visit from Edward?

The name caused a white hot shaft of pain to pierce through me and I cried out softly, clutching at my stomach.

When I felt I could stand again there was a figure framed in the window. A little scream of surprise escaped me and my heart skipped a beat before drumming again in earnest.

The t-shirt slipped through my fingers as I stood there and stared into cool amber eyes.

What the hell…

I threw open the window, which probably would have hit him if he didn't have superhuman reflexes and hissed.

"Get the hell away from my window Jasper."

I took in his appearance while he considered me. I was pretty sure he wasn't wearing his own clothes – jeans and a soft cotton long sleeved t-shirt– but I guessed that was because he hadn't been able to force himself to enter Alice's room.

His beauty dazzled me as always and I scowled to myself. He's not perfect Bella, no matter how much he looks it.

It actually looked like he was in some sort of really weird advert, crouched as he was in a tree but still managing to look both graceful and somewhat like a male model, complete with soft breeze tangling in his honey curls. But it was his eyes that drew me in, much the same yet completely different to Ed… his. He obviously hadn't hunted since I'd last seen him because his eyes were darker in colour. They felt cool yet sad, as if he was encased in ice and unable to express his grief on his face.

I snapped my eyes away and blinked a few times. It really was unfair for them all to be so disarmingly beautiful. But I remembered the way his teeth had glistened razor sharp when he had lunged for me and the image was sufficient to dispel any lingering dreaminess I felt.

"I know you've got perfect hearing Jasper so please, go break some more trees and leave me alone."

Here would have been the point where I'd slammed the window and flounced off dramatically but unfortunately the wind chose that moment to give a particularly harsh gust and blow my hair across my eyes.

Of course in the few seconds it took me to free myself of the thick curls Jasper was out of the tree and into my room.

I slammed the window anyway, for effect, before I spun around and glared at him.

"I don't recall saying you could come in."

He regarded me coolly and I shuffled my feet nervously but then his next words hit me.

"You're hurting Bella."

I looked at him as if he'd grown an extra head, feeling myself grow more and more angry as the seconds passed.

"Well really, thank you Captain Obvious!"

I was surprised to see his perfect mouth turn up at one corner in an almost-smile but I forged on.

"I hadn't really noticed, being that my boyfriend and my best friend have abandoned me in the space of a day because of something I haven't even done yet, and they have more faith in a stupid vision than they have in us!"

I gestured between us both wildly, nearly poking myself in the eye in the process. The half-smile developed more.

"And don't you smirk at me Mr I'm-so-perfect-I-can-waltz-into-people's-rooms-uninvited because this," I gestured between us again, "is categorically not happening. So you can just leave now!"

I pointed at the window but he didn't move an inch. It was almost a tangible thing when his emotional control snapped.

"Bella...." His voice was low and hoarse with grief.

My hand wavered a little and I felt tears building up in my eyes. I held onto the anger in an attempt to stop the pain.

"Get out Jasper..." My voice sounded unsure even to myself and I felt the last dregs of my anger swirl away.

My arm dropped to wrap around my stomach and I drew in a few ragged breaths. I felt a wave of calm hit me – Jasper was attempting to help – but it was like grabbing onto a life belt in a rough sea.

I felt a cool touch on the back of my neck and looked up to see Jasper's marble face twisted as he attempted to wrestle with his thirst and the emotional atmosphere.

"Too close..." I managed to gasp out through my constricted throat.

He just shook his head, increasing the potency of the calming waves now he was touching me.

"It's bearable."

Despite myself I was drawn in by his emotional manipulation and I turned my face into his chest, my own heaving with sobs.

As suddenly as he had appeared he was gone; his movements blurred to my human eyes, drawing deep breaths with his head outside the window. Attempting to rid his senses of the smell of me I guessed.

"I'm sorry…" I felt a blush of embarrassment dust my cheeks and sniffed wildly.

"I just…" I waved my hands about ineffectually hoping to convey my meaning somehow.

Jasper half turned to me, the right side of his beautiful face lit with what little light filtered through the cloud cover.

"I'm not Edward Bella I don't have limitless control." His voice was deep with emotion.

Through the stab of pain I recognised the look of self-loathing on Jasper's face.

"I didn't expect you to help me Jasper. I didn't ask for your help."

I attempted to limit the loneliness in my voice but it was essentially a pointless exercise with an empath in the room. Jasper was beside me again in a second, his face on a level with my own.

"You're not alone in this Bella. I understand."

I shook my head and grasped my hair with both hands.

"Well I'm glad someone does because I don't. How could he leave me? To just give up on us like that, without a fight… That hurts more than anything."

"Edward is a mystery to all but himself; we would be wasting our time trying to understand him."

The odd way Jasper had of speaking was strangely soothing. It was as if one of the characters from my books had come alive from the pages to comfort me.

"And Alice…"

I looked up to see the reaction on his face but I was unprepared for the look of total devastation – like somehow his entire world had been snatched away in a moment.

"Alice is a law unto herself Bella, as always I trust in her to follow what she believes is right. That does not mean her lack of faith is not painful to me and neither does it diminish my love for her. It is simply what is and what must be."

Vampire wisdom was strange to me, felt old and precious in my hands like ancient parchment.

"Then we sit by and we accept this?" I shook my head. "Jasper there must be something…" An air of hopelessness filled me and I felt my hands pulled gently away from my hair by two icy ones.

"Don't lose hope Bella, never that. It is the most human of emotions."

I set my jaw and flipped my hands over in his, threading my fingers through his longer ones.

"Then I hope we never fall in love Jasper."

I looked at him for a long moment before tugging my hands away. He unfolded his and let me tuck mine against my stomach. It was an odd thing to have such cold hands touching me again. My own body heat was comforting.

"I think you should leave now."

"Perhaps that is best." He rose and I felt relief permeate me. "Bella, would it be… acceptable for me to return?"

I gripped my top in both hands before I could screw up the courage to look at him.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I literally saw his face fall. His cool marble hand was on my face before I could blink, forcing me to stare into his. It was like looking into the sun – burning yet somehow still pleasurable through the pain.

"Bella. I need to hunt. We'll talk about this later."

He was gone before I could blink. Vampires. It was like trying to catch the wind in your hands. How could I ever have thought that Edward would stay with me?

I stood and wandered dreamily over to the window, standing there for a few moments after shutting it behind him.

Then I returned to my bed and cried hot tears of anger and shame because I was so very afraid. Alice's vision lay in front of my eyes like a physical barrier that I could imagine no way past or through.

If I survived through this, was that vision all that lay in front of me? Was there no hope for a life aside from a life without Edward?

If it wasn't for Charlie and Renee I would have taken it the moment Edward left – it was so much easier to die than to live.

All the ways that I could see out of this were void because of them. It was different when I was considering being changed, a car crash would probably have been arranged. I wouldn't be obviously dead by my own hand.

How could I take peace for myself and leave my family to live through the pain? It was selfish and it was unfair. And I wanted it more than anything.

I turned onto my back once my tears were spent and traced patterns in the ceiling with my eyes.

I was literally unable to imagine a world in which I loved anyone but Edward. And one where Jasper loved anyone but Alice. She was the one who had brought him to the Cullens and stayed with him all these years.

And she had left, just as Edward had, to chase some new shiny undefined future instead of a harsh present. Left behind the one she loved to grieve alone all for a future she had seen only a week ago.

Jasper had my deepest sympathy – he had been with Alice so long, been so much otherwise solitary that it was unthinkable to imagine him without her tiny figure alongside. Alice and Jasper were one in my mind – there was no one without the other.

Yet how could I take his pain as well as my own knowing full well what the consequences must be. When I was constantly being told that the future Alice had seen could not be denied.

I could, and I would, deny it. Jasper was much so much stronger than I was; what need did he have of me?

And if I could not live without his support, then I would not live. How hard could it be to crash? One hard jerk of the wheel could probably roll my truck…

I sighed and closed one eye, raising my hand to peer through my fingers at the white plaster of the ceiling.

From blissful happiness to considering suicide in one week straight. From feeling like life was golden, bubbling like champagne, to it tasting bitter and forbidden on my tongue.

I rolled over again to check my clock quickly. Time seemed to flow differently for me now, defined by the events within it rather than the space it occupied.

Charlie had not been gone even an hour but it felt like a year. Jasper would take time to return.

I was left alone with my pain and my fear, feeling adrift on my bed like a tiny boat in a vast ocean.