Letting Go
by icypinkpop
Pairing: GokuxVegeta
Disclaimer: Just borrowing them for a while. I seriously hope there's no late fees…
Warnings: Yaoi (M/M), Shonen-ai, Uke Vegeta, swearing, references to rape, blood, crying, implied masturbation, perhaps some OOC-ness, sap, WIFE BASHING (well, pretty much just Chichi bashing…), pretty much anything one can warn about.
Summary: Vegeta's feelings for Goku get the best of him one day, but his pride won't stand for it. Events that follow prove to change him forever. Summary sucks (as always). Just read.
Author's note (changes with chapter): I'm so glad I started this =) This fic is proving to be a lot more fun than anything I've done in a loong time, and this is my favorite chapter yet. Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to everyone who has reviewed thus far. Names are below:
LadyEval, silverstorms (anon.), Dragon77, listenserendipity, Zofonik, Lavender_Blood (anon.), Saere.
Thank you guys so much for letting me know what you thought of my first few chapters! I think a lot of you will like this one, especially those who have been wanting Goku and Vegeta to get closer. -duck tapes mouth shut- I've said too much!
~Text~ - Thoughts.
"Text" - Spoken dialogue.
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Chapter 4: Caught -
Vegeta hovered silently among the trees, legs crossed and eyes closed. A defeated breath left his slightly open mouth, the rushing of the river below unable to drown out Kakarrot's final words. "Vegeta…tell me…" The Prince couldn't suppress a shiver at the memory. He had fled the scene like the coward he was. It just didn't seem fair that Kakarrot had such power over him.
What had the idiot expected him to say, anyways? What was it exactly that he wanted to know? He couldn't understand why Kakarrot was showing so much interest in his feelings. Nobody had ever really cared about his emotions before. Well, no one except Raditz…
The Prince groaned. He truly missed the companionship of his royal guard at times, the only Saiyan that knew of the pain and suffering he was put through. Fully unaware of his surroundings, Vegeta let himself be swept up into a memory, thoughts rippling like water as a cold wave of his past crashed over his mind, foaming out into a sea of darkness.
--
"Mmmm, Raditz." The Prince ran a gloved hand through his lover's long mane, comforted by the strong arms that held him against the large, naked body beneath. A trilling purr burst forth from his throat and he mumbled incoherently, the guard's broad chest rumbling in answer as a calloused palm stroked his side. "Well, my Prince," Raditz addressed him suggestively, pleasant lethargy thickening the already gruff voice. "What do you say? Up for another rou-" His question was cut short when Vegeta's lips latched frantically onto his own, caressing his mouth hungrily.
Vegeta was in bliss. It had seemed weeks since he had had the opportunity to feel such pleasure, to revel in such warmth, to lay in strong arms with no fear of punishment or pain. The cold, sterile atmosphere of the room in which they now resided did nothing to quell the passion between their hearts, the growing heat between their bodies. Sighing, he gripped his lover's broad shoulders, licking insistently at Raditz' lower lip when an unexpected spike of ki stole any chance of further pleasure away.
Pulling back from the kiss, Vegeta shook his head slowly in denial, tears immediately beginning to well up. Gulping, he forced himself to stare down at his guard, mouth opening and closing as he struggled to reveal the truth even he wasn't prepared to believe. Twin tears trailed down both sides of his face.
Raditz grabbed his forearms gently, a look of confusion blossoming over his features. "What-what's wrong?" he asked, shaking Vegeta lightly. "What is it? Have I hurt you?" The usually rough tone was tinted with concern. The Prince struggled to keep his composure, lashes fluttering on flushed cheeks as he shook his head once more. ~Not Raditz…~, he pleaded silently, far too devastated to be vexed by his own weakness. ~He has taken everything…he can't take Raditz away too…~
Suddenly, Vegeta became aware that his body was being shaken and he looked down into his lover's face, staring upon his only source of sanity and comfort for what he knew would be the last time. He memorized every feature of Raditz' visage, the sparkling black eyes, the sharp nose, the soft lips. Vegeta stored the precious sight away, unconsciously clinging to the object of his adoration as he wiped one of the tears away. A telling gasp escaped his lover's open mouth and he shuddered. Raditz knew. He knew what was coming.
The couple clung to each other for dear life as the door swung open, cold laughter echoing throughout the tiny room.
--
Goku stared up at his Prince, his eyes running over the regal face. He watched Vegeta's bare chest rise and fall, surprised at the outwardly calm demeanor that the other was exhibiting. The tall Saiyan was even more confused, however, by the fact that Vegeta didn't seem to realize he was there. Even if he was indeed in some sort of meditative state, Goku had thought that the Prince would have picked up on his ki signal and snapped out of it.
Unsure whether he should leave or remain in the area, Goku bit his lip indecisively, holding back the urge to crush Vegeta against him and kiss the breath out of that delicious, lithe body. He wanted to make Vegeta forget about the pain, the sadness that was keeping him trapped in this unstable state. His common sense argued that the Prince looked quite stable at the moment, but Goku knew otherwise. There was something holding Vegeta back, something holding his true feelings prisoner, and he wanted-no, needed- to find out what it was. Why else had the Prince fallen into his arms the night before? Why else did that look of fear creep into his eyes whenever Goku got too close?
The younger Saiyan sighed with resignation, preparing to leave the area when a sudden spike of ki drew his attention back to the unconscious Prince. Looking back at Vegeta, Goku was shocked to see his eyes open slightly, body uncurling from its previous position. There was no glimmer of recognition in those glossy orbs, no hint of feeling or emotion. Just blank confusion.
Slowly, Vegeta drifted down further towards the burbling river, eyes falling shut once again. A moment later, after Goku had taken a tentative step towards him, the Prince lost all balance and plummeted into the rushing body of water, the flame of black hair swallowed up by the lapping tides.
Goku gasped in surprise, running up to the riverbank and staring down into the blue abyss. Vegeta had done that intentionally, right? The Prince had such legendary control; it was hard to believe that he would fall into a river by accident. Perhaps he planned on coming up for air in a matter of moments…
Seconds ticked by, measured out by Goku's shaky breaths, and Vegeta remained beneath the surface. A sudden strike of fear piercing the larger Saiyan's heart, Goku quickly stripped himself of his clothing and took a final breath, diving into the rushing water.
Spikes of pure cold assaulted his naked skin, the icy liquid washing over his body as his eyes darted about. No sign of his Prince was in sight, however, and Goku quickly pushed himself forward, uneasiness rising in his gut. Vegeta was okay, he told himself. He had to be.
--
An enveloping chill danced over his bare chest, flowing through the black fabric of his billowy pants, tingling his still-aching muscles. The Prince shook violently, all images of Raditz cloaked by an endless infinity of black. He could almost feel Frieza's hands running over his trembling thighs, long nails slashing a gaping hole into the side of his face. Vegeta bit his lip, tasting blood. No…
Head hung in surrender, the Prince allowed himself to float down into nothingness, not knowing where he was and not caring the slightest bit. The pain had subsided, and he could block out any images that came to mind. He could forget about it all and simply fade into the darkness surrounding him. It wouldn't matter to anyone.
Suddenly, and seemingly unprovoked, an image of Kakarrot flashed across his vision, dazzling stars brightening to become his gentle, glowing eyes. A soft smile pulled at luscious lips, taunting, reminding Vegeta that he would never be his chosen. His…mate. The type of companion that the Prince had always dreamed about.
Faded images of his previous lovers drifted before his eyes, first the powerful visage of Raditz, then the perturbed face of Bulma. The pictures appeared stained, antique, unworthy when compared to the brightness of Kakarrot's eyes.
Vegeta inhaled deeply, choking when he felt his head break through.
--
The gentle Saiyan lifted his Prince to the surface, pressing two fingers to the elder's lower jaw. Kami, why was Vegeta always getting hurt? Goku felt incredibly guilty for waiting so long to jump in and save him.
Feeling a pulse, Goku couldn't help but smile at his Prince's will to live. No matter how miserable, how broken he appeared outwardly, he refused to let life go completely, whether the stubbornness was intentional or not. The grin faded as he ran a hand down Vegeta's face, amazed at the softness of his skin. He would make it so Vegeta didn't have to hurt anymore. He promised.
Softly holding the Prince against him, amazed at the beauty he had missed for so many years, Goku felt himself start when Vegeta's eyes snapped open, recognition flashing through them almost immediately. His breath hitched.
--
Vegeta's vision was blurred, only clearing when the Prince blinked repeatedly, droplets of water dripping down his face. His eyes locked onto Kakarrot's face and he gasped in shock, suddenly aware of the muscled arms holding him close. He soon recognized the sensation of water running down his body and froze, feeling the river swish about his clothed waist as a sense of realization hit him. He had been meditating above the creek and must have somehow fallen in.
Now fully conscious of his surroundings, Vegeta gazed back up at Goku's concerned visage, the gentle eyes threatening to undo his carefully maintained control. Doing his best to ignore the somewhat alien feeling of comfort and warmth that seeped into his chilled muscles, the Prince forcibly furrowed his brow, eventually finding his voice.
"Let me go."
Goku, to his surprise, made no movement to obey his command. The younger Saiyan simply stared down at him, one hand sliding up to rest in his hair, a little smile creeping onto the former's lips. Vegeta held back a tremble of both excitement and fear, unable to calm himself. He felt the taunting fingers spread out and shook slightly, anger replacing his desire. How dare Kakarrot lay hands on him without permission?! What made the egocentric bastard believe he could manhandle the Prince like a piece of meat? A warning growl rumbled in the back of his throat as he snarled, bearing his fangs.
"Get...away…"
His voice, however, wasn't as menacing as he had intended. Glaring daggers at his captor, he took a shuddering breath, pushing against the powerful embrace. Kakarrot wasn't going to win. Not this time.
--
Goku blinked in surprise, firmly holding Vegeta against him, preventing him from physically striking. The Prince still squirmed in effort to get away, menacing snarls mixed in with curses filling the atmosphere between them. The gentle Saiyan, however, remained silent, holding Vegeta still. He couldn't allow the Prince to flee again and risk getting hurt further, neither emotionally nor physically. He wanted to make sure that Vegeta knew that he was safe in his presence, that he didn't have to remain so secluded from those close to him. Goku would never lay a violent hand on his Prince outside of battle, and he needed Vegeta to understand that.
--
Quite a few minutes passed before the elder Saiyan stopped thrashing, speech failing him as he slumped against the strong body. Well, this was it. Kakarrot was going to debase him, mock him for his weakness, tear away any hope he had left. He might as well get it over with.
Utterly defeated, Vegeta pulled back and stared up into Goku's eyes, surprised by the concern that glimmered out from the depths of coal black. He found himself gazing into the gentle face, breathing in the intoxicating, earthy scent, trembling slightly at the thought of what could never be. The Prince almost tore his eyes away when he felt a strong hand grasp his chin, holding his head in place.
--
Goku's breath left him at Vegeta's beauty. How could someone so cold be so incredibly gorgeous?
Noticing the look of uncertainty on his Vegeta's face, the younger Saiyan threw him another reassuring smile, inhaling deeply. He would show Vegeta how precious he was, how completely heartbreaking it would be to see him go. Sighing, he bent down slowly and pressed his lips to the Prince's, moving them hesitantly over the latter's mouth.
--
Vegeta's eyes widened in shock. This couldn't be true…he had to be dreaming.
The lips against his own moved hesitantly, comfortingly, heat tingling over the Prince's face. He didn't care if this was a fantasy. Vegeta wasn't going to deny himself any longer.
Wrapping his arms around Goku's upper body, Vegeta licked lightly at the tall Saiyan's lower lip, reveling in the feel of satin skin beneath his fingers. The mouth against his opened slightly, Kakarrot's lips ghosting over his own as he slipped his tongue into the awaiting heat.
Vegeta couldn't suppress the purring moan that escaped his throat as he fisted his hands into velvet locks, gripping the thick hair as he yanked Kakarrot's mouth down to his level, plundering the warm tongue that slid against his own. Yes, this was what he wanted. Warmth, safety, to be held…
--
Goku gasped, eyes lidded when Vegeta licked wantonly at his tongue. The lithe body pressed firmly against his and he breathed in the musky scent, running a hand down to rest on the Prince's bare chest. He felt himself shiver when Vegeta moaned into his mouth. It sounded so…good, that impassioned groan. Goku was shocked by his Prince's hungry, needy gasps, the strong hands that pulled at his hair, the muscled body that pressed so demandingly against his. Vegeta was the embodiment of passion. He was fire.
Sighing, Goku made a movement to pull his Prince closer when he felt the comforting heat leave his body. Unsure whether he was imagining the lack of contact, he opened his eyes slightly when he felt Vegeta's lips leave his, the lithe body no longer against his own, hands no longer in his hair. A splash of water, the sound of someone's voice, and Goku opened his eyes wearily. The Prince was no longer beside him. Before he could fully process what had happened, the short human on shore yelled to him, all peace and tranquility shattering at the whiny shout. "Goku!"
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-cliffhangs- Please review XP