'...' - Thoughts
Italic - Marie's psyches
[...] - Wolverine psyche inside Logan
{...} - Telepathic conversations
xXx
Chapter Four
After Marie had mentioned the word Phoenix, Charles said he wanted to talk to Marie alone in his study, which is where they were right now.
The Professor looked as if he was stabbed. "How can you know about her?"
"Emma always suspected it. And a while ago Ah'd accidently brushed up against her and Phoenix came into mah mind."
{It's not nice to have your dirty laundry out in front of everyone, is it Professor?}
"What Ah can't understand is that how can such smart man like yourself do this?"
"I had to do it to protect her. Her powers were getting out of control-"
"No, Charles. You were worried she would end up becoming another Jason. And she wasn't out of control. She was a child. She just found the entire situation funny. She thought she was becoming a fairy. But then her world came crashing down because her own parents were afraid to be in the same room with her. She was scared."
"There is no possible way you can say that for sure-"
"Yes, Ah can. Along with Phoenix, Jean is up there as well. So believe me the only person who knows more about Jean than me is the woman herself. You don't realize that you made a bad situation even worse. Phoenix shouldn't even exist. It's all because you decided to play god with Jean's mind that we're in this fucked up mess."
"I'm sure there is nothing to worry. The blocks that I placed in Jean's mind will stop the entity that addresses itself as Phoenix."
"Jean's blocks are just as strong as Jean is and in comparison to Phoenix, Jean is weak. With every passing day Phoenix is encroaching her mind bit by bit. And Ah'm sorry Professor but this is a battle Jean just can't win."
"I'm sure that with a little intervention we could-"
Marie, who had been pacing around the Professor's office all the while putting his expensive pieces of furniture in it at risk, stopped over at a wall and started to bang her head on it. "No, you can't do that. It's like you don't even want to understand the situation." Suddenly she stopped inflicting torture upon her head and turned to face the telepath. "Oh my god. That's it. You don't understand the situation. Tell me Professor, when was the last time you looked inside Jean's mind?"
"It has been well over ten years. Earlier she always complained about headaches, which were caused by the Phoenix trying to escape. I never told Jean about the Phoenix, but I suspect she sensed something but not enough to alarm her."
"Of course it wouldn't. That body belongs to Phoenix as much as Jean, so of course it didn't raise any alarms. That's why you started doing sessions with her. You told her it was to strengthen her abilities but in reality you were just reinforcing the mental blocks. And then you made Jean forget about Phoenix's presence, every single time. No wonder the Jean in mah head is a nutcase. Her memories have been altered so many times she doesn't know what is up and what is down. And the real Jean is like that as well. That's why you need to worry. She isn't strong enough to fight the Phoenix, thanks to you."
"That's impossible. Jean is perfectly capable of all her faculties. She has shown tremendous improvement over the years-"
"Ten years, right?"
"What?"
"She started to show 'tremendous improvement' exactly ten years ago. The same time when the Phoenix stopped causing trouble, right?"
"Yes, but why is that important?"
"Because Phoenix became smart. She realized that she needs to lay low. So she stopped interfering with Jean's daily routine. And at night she started to influence Jean's powers, slowly. But she is a clever bitch. She didn't make Jean strong but the body, so that when Phoenix takes control the body, it would be able to accommodate her."
"Why at night?"
"Because Jean's defenses are down and it becomes easier for her to manipulate things on the top floor. Just like how Ah manipulated the actions of this body even though mah 16 years old self was the dominant one these past three months."
"You can't compare your situation with Jean's."
"No, our 'situations' are exactly alike. Jean and Phoenix were meant to be the same, what's the word you used, entity. They weren't meant to be split. But because of your actions, Phoenix is very much like a psyche in Jean's mind."
"But surely shouldn't Jean be able to fight her off. Just like you, her brain should be capable of doing that."
"Yes, if it was a foreign psyche. But Phoenix is Jean, or was supposed to be. And just like it is difficult to get control back from mah different aged psyches, Jean will face problems as well. Remember Ah said that Ah'm not their god. Jean isn't Phoenix's god either. Actually if the situation becomes worse then, Jean will become Phoenix's little bitch."
"How are you able to get control back then?"
"Because the version of me that's supposed to be dominant is the current me, and the current me will always be older, wiser and more experienced than mah other version, who are the past me...s. Hence stronger and able to get control back. There is even the thing that Ah love mahself, so in the end Ah'm always able to coax the past me...s to listen to current me. And Ah can tell you right now there is no love lost between Jean and Phoenix. Phoenix hates you for separating her from Jean and she hates Jean for being weak and being manipulated by you. Ah'm sure that when, and not if mind you, Phoenix takes over she will kill you. And Scott."
"Why Scott?"
"Because she's a spiteful bitch. Not to mention it will send Jean into a guilt-ridden limbo and make it easier for Phoenix to maintain control over the body."
The Professor stared at his desk with a blank expression on his face. He didn't say anything, when Marie let out a loud sigh and said, "Enter mah mind." He looked up to her, who was now standing right next to him. "You don't believe me, or rather don't want to believe me. Ah can't blame you either. Ah wish Ah could stop believing it too. But Ah can't ignore what's happening and neither can you. So, enter mah mind and see for yourself."
She quietly walked around his desk and went to lie down on the sofa in the corner. Professor was too amazed by this to respond for a moment.
"Hurry up Charlie Boy. Ah want to go to sleep before sunrise, so do it. Now preferably."
'Charlie Boy' went to where she was and placed his fingers around her temples and was preparing to enter, when "Oh and don't be too shocked by what you see in here. And don't touch anything. And don't talk to anyone except me or at least someone who looks like me. Good luck. Ah hope you make it back."
xXx
When Xavier finally woke up he found himself lying on a path in the middle of what looked like the Sahara Desert. It took him a moment to remember where he actually was. In his realization he didn't notice that he was actually standing on his legs.
"Well, we thought it would be convenient for you to walk, so we gave you legs."
He turned towards the voice and saw Marie. Or at least a blonde version of her and minus the accent.
"I'm not Marie. As you can see from the lack of an accent."
He remember that back in his office Marie had warned him about now talking to anyone-
"Yes, but she told you not to talk to anyone who doesn't look like her. While I clearly do. And don't be too shocked that I knew what you were thinking. You see, you're in our territory and here there is no such thing as personal thoughts. Even for such a powerful telepath like you."
'I feel like I'm being mocked.'
"Ding ding ding. Correct answer. Anywho, you can me Anna. Marie will explain to you who I am actually." Then started to walk away. "Well, what are you waiting for? You appeared right at the edge and we have a long way to go. Oh and don't step out of the path otherwise you'll never be able to leave. And well, simply put, I don't want you here."
Charles found the entire situation bizarre and not just because he was walking on his own two legs. Why is there a blonde version of Marie in her head? Is she one of past versions?
"Well I most certainly wasn't going to be a redhead, was I? And I'm not a past version of Marie. As I said when we find her, Marie will explain to you." Their conversation had distracted him from noticing that the scenery had changed. They were now in the middle of what looked like a city, only there were buildings of different styles in it. "They are different because they represent different people Marie absorbed." Charles needed to learn to keep his thoughts in check. "Now you know how others feel around you, Chuck. Well here we are."
They had stopped in front of a fountain and nearby on a bench was Marie playing with a little girl, who looked just like her.
"Will we see mommy again? Ah miss our mommy, both of them. But Ah like mah new mama and daddy as well." said the little girl. By now Charles had guessed that she was the three years old version of Marie. The real Marie, and he knew that because she had white stripes in her hair, said, "Well 3, sweetie Ah'm sure we will meet mommy again and when we do you can talk to her till your heart's content. Now why don't you go to your room, Ah have to talk to this man now."
"Is it about the red haired lady and the big bird?"
"Yes it is about them. You see, we are going to help them, so Ah need to talk to him first. Go and play with 4 and 5." With that little Marie walked away. The grown up version of Marie turned towards the Professor and said, "That's how we address the others who are not dominant, by their age. Ah see you've already met Anna. Hope she didn't scare you much. She can be very hostile to the newcomers."
"It's not the newcomer thing that makes me hate him. It's because he responsible the whole Phoenix fiasco, which we have to clean up now. That's why I hate him. Though I don't know why, as if we don't already have things to do. Well you're the boss." said Anna all the while glaring at him. Marie let out a deep sigh and said, "Yes Anna, you've been quite vocal about how you feel about helping Jean. And you're right Ah am the boss, so you will do what Ah tell you to do."
Charles finally had the nerve to say, "I'm sorry to interrupt," he pointed towards Anna and asked, "But who is she?"
"You do know that it's rude to point, don't you Chuck? So why don't you put the finger down, well before I break it."
"Anna, enough. Simply put she is mah mutation. Ah'm not too sure about the workings either, but it seems that she helps me from going insane and stopping the psyches from taking over, especially when Ah'm awake and not here to control them. She does everything that needs to be done, controlling the psyches, cataloging their memories, personalities and life force and she acts like a storehouse for all the mutations Ah've absorbed. She also helped me in creating all this." She pointed all around her to all the different buildings.
"Really? So my opinion matters, does it? Well I was under the impression that you do things as you please and then leave me to handle the consequences."
Marie tried to avoid looking directly at Anna. "Ah've no idea what you talking about."
"You gave Wolverine the entire Rocky Mountains."
"Only because you wouldn't let me give him Canada. Besides he needs the space. He's a feral."
"What about Eric?"
"What about Eric? He has a dingy little shack, that he used to live in with his parents back in Poland. You, standing there are taking more space than his house ever could."
"I'm not talking about his house. I'm talking about the Dalek. Was that truly necessary?"
"Ah just feel so bad for him. He has had such a difficult life. He lost his parents and had to live with the fear of being targeted because he is different."
"You do realize that he used that very line to justify killing us on his machine, right? That humans would start targeting mutants, remember?"
"That was Magneto. You can't blame Eric. Besides he looks so happy with little murderous metal friend."
"You spoil them."
"Ah'm a -"
"Say 'merciful god' and I'll punch you."
"- a large-hearted deity."
"When will stop saying that?"
"You say the word 'well' a lot and Ah've never said anything."
"And then there's Logan." Anna continued on as if Marie hadn't said that last sentence.
"What did Logan do?"
"Wel- I mean, I know that his memories are screwed up but can't he just stick to one building. One day its' a camper, then it's a giant Pre-Civil War era mansion, then it's some Japanese building from WW2. Every time I pass by his corner it's something new. He's ruining the infrastructure."
"Wow. Since when did you get OCD? And it doesn't matter what the infrastructure is. It's all in mah head."
"Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
"Wait, did you just quote Harry Potter at me?"
"Dumbledore, specifically."
"We are going to have a long chat. But later. Right now Ah need to discuss the Phoenix situation with Charles, who clearly thinks Ah'm bat shit crazy now, thanks to you."
"That's another thing I'm pissed about. Why do we need to bother with Jean? We don't even like Jean. Let her die."
"Did you forget that if Jean dies then Phoenix will take over and disintegrate everyone and everything on this planet into atoms." And for the first time since Charles had met her, Anna was quiet. Marie then turned towards the Professor and grabbed him and started walking very fast in the other direction. "Let's hurry before she remembers something else."
They slowed down after a while and continued to walk on the path. "Anna had said that if I step out the path I would never be able to leave. Is it true?"
"Yes. Even though Ah didn't directly absorb you, if you take one step out you will become a permanent resident in mah head. A few cocky telepaths thought they could be the exception, but what they didn't realize that in here no one has powers, not even me. Ah don't need them to rule."
"I had expected it to be a bit more crowded."
"That's 'cause you're in the area, where Ah keep the ones Ah like. If we go deeper then you'll find the psyches Ah usually keep in lockdown." They were crossing an abandoned building, which looked worse for wear. "And then there is also the thing where Ah can delete the psyches when Ah no longer need them. Like this. It was the building Ah gave to Emma's psyche. We came into direct contact many times, while she was helping me get control. When Ah destroy the building the psyche and all their memories disappear. But Ah can still access their powers since they are stored independently. Anna does that as Ah mentioned. There used to be many psyches in here. Like the ones Ah absorbed before Ah met Wade. Emma helped me delete them, thank god. They were all disgusting slobs."
They were now near a house, which looked like it was picked out from a movie. It was surrounded by different types of trees like pine, oak, elm. "Home sweet home. This is the house Ah grew up in. Mah mama lives there." And as if she was expecting it, a woman in her early forties appeared at the door. "Anna-Marie, come inside. Ah even made your favorite apple pie." Marie looked like she didn't know whether to smile or cry, instead she said "Ah will mama. Right now Ah need to talk to the Professor." After that Mrs. D'Accanto went back inside. "Sometimes Ah'm happy that she is there, but sometimes Ah'm not."
Then a little while later they saw a large palace. "That is Carol's. Anna is right. Ah do spoil them. But what else can Ah do for them. Even though Carol loves her palace she only roams around inside like a ghost reliving all her memories of Alex. Ah can't exactly tell her to stop, can Ah? What can Ah say? Move on? That'll be hilarious. She's dead and stuck here and the man she loves will probably move on when Stryker is dead. Ah once offered that Ah could touch Alex so that she won't be lonely but she refused. She said that if Ah did that then Alex will never move on. Even though it hurts her she wants Alex to move on. Ah don't believe in true love and happy endings. Look at me, how can Ah? But when Ah see them Ah just... Ah just wish that fairytales could be true."
Charles didn't know what to say, so they continued to walk. Suddenly the city had disappeared and they were walking through a forest. "This is Wolverine's territory. It's pretty big, but had to give him all this space otherwise Ah would've gone mad with his bloodlust."
"Back there you said that Logan and Wolverine had different territories. Does that mean they both are separate psyches in your mind."
"Because they are two different entities in James Howlett's body. They were one before Stryker's experiment. It was only after they put the metal in him that his feral side somehow got separated. Probably because of the trauma." The telepath was so shocked that he stopped walking. "Oh come on, Charles. Ah dropped enough hints that Ah knew. And Wade talks, a lot. His nickname was 'merc with a mouth'. Believe me, Ah know everything there is to know about Jimmy."
He started walking again. "I'm surprised that you haven't told him or given him any indication that you know. It is my sincere request that you don't not until a time when he can handle-"
"Don't worry. Ah won't say a thing. Not because Ah agree with your theory of him being unable to handle it. But because Ah have my own plan, just like you. You can fool the entire world into thinking that your actions are selfless, but not me sugah. You know that as long you keep dangling his past in front of him, he'll stay at your side like a good X-Man. That's what you have been doing for the three months, right? Giving him crumpets but never something substantial that he would leave. When will you learn your lesson, Charles? You can't play god. You shouldn't play god."
"And I suppose you can."
"Don't compare me with you. Ah'm not power-hungry. And sure Ah may manipulate people but Ah don't ruin their lives."
"Everything I have done I have done it for everyone's benefit."
"Is that what you tell yourself every night just so you can sleep? Look at that and tell me that your actions actually did some good." They had reached the edge of the forest and were on a beach. Charles looked to where Marie was pointing and what he saw horrifies him. There in the middle of the water was an island in the middle of a violent storm.
"What is that?"
"Phoenix. Even though Anna and Ah could handle her, but she made everyone else feel uncomfortable. So Ah build her a prison away from everyone on that island. Her personal Alcatraz, if you may."
"Is that storm her doing?"
"No. That's me. Till now Ah was in here with her, so it was easy to control her. But since now Ah have become dominant again and can't stay here all the time, Ah created that storm to subdue her. Initially she created problems but now she knows she can't do a thing against me." They continued to walk down the beach, where Charles could see a figure standing at the water's edge. "Sometimes for fun Ah set the Wolverine loose on her. It's quite funny. Like coyote and roadrunner funny. Minus all the dynamite and anvils of course." They had nearly reached the lone when he finally recognized her, Jean.
Jean turned around to face them, when she heard them. "Marie, thank god you're here. She is mad today."
"No, she isn't. She's always like that. You shouldn't even be here, Jean. You should be in your own house, like the others."
"But she needs me. I need her. We need to be together but there is something stopping us. Marie help me be with her. I feel like I'm dying. So she must feel like dying as well. If we are together then we can sing our song together."
"Ah promised you, remember? Ah'll do everything that Ah can to help Jean and make sure Phoenix does not take over Jean's body. That's why brought the Professor with me." Jean turned to look at her mentor as if for the first time. Suddenly she started to panic. "Delete him. He can't be here. She hates him. I hate him. He separated us. Because of him we can't sing our song together." A smile appeared on her face. "Oh Marie, you should listen to our song. It's so beautiful. Like fairies. You know I was fairy when I was little. But then one day the song stopped. Everything is so cold now."
"Ah know. But Ah promise one day you will sing your song, together. For now you must rest. Anna will take you."
Behind them Anna appeared, as if she had been following them all the time. She walked towards Jean and held her hand and both started to walk away. When Jean stopped and turned to look at the island, "But she won't be there. She's never there. Even before we came here she was never there. She's so close that I can almost touch her but we be can't be together. We need to be together to sing our song."
"And one day you will be together. But not today. Go now. Ah don't want to force you."
"Ok. Goodnight, Marie."
After seeing his star pupil like that Charles had no words to explain how sorry he was. "She...What is... How can she be..."
"She's a nutcase. Like Ah told you in your office. Phoenix is controlling her actions, so she seems sane. But in reality Jean is just like that."
"That's impossible. No. I refuse to believe that."
"Downstairs in the med lab, Jean tried to enter mah mind without mah permission, remember? You've known Jean since she was a little girl, do you think she'll do something like that? No, Jean would never to that. But she did, because the Phoenix made her."
It was as if his legs couldn't support him anymore. He fell on the sand and started to cry. Because he finally understood what a big mistake he had made. He truly had ruined Jean. He failed his students. He failed everything. Marie sat down next to him and put her arms around him. "It's ok. Phoenix still can't get control of the body completely."
"Yes, but for how long. It's only a matter of time."
"So that's it? You're giving up? Your student needs you and you're abandoning her."
"I can't. Everything that I did I thought was doing for the good of everyone. But I was so wrong."
"Jean hasn't given up yet, my friend. Otherwise why would Phoenix pretend to be Jean in front of everyone." Both turned around to find Eric Lehnsherr. He walked towards them and sat down on the other side of Charles. "So you can't give up just yet. I know it will be difficult, but you must fight on, so that she may still have a chance."
"Don't worry Professor you aren't alone. Ah'll be there."
"Even after I have failed."
"It's not about the failure. It's because you're a good man. If you weren't you wouldn't have cried like that. You truly regretted your actions, if you hadn't you would still be fighting with me about being right."
"So this was a test for me?"
"Well, we had to be sure." said Eric. "Whether your pride will stop you from helping Jean."
"But it won't. 'Cause now we're sure. Ah'm not going to apologize for the things Ah said to you, but know that Ah have great respect for the work you've done. There would have been more than one Rogue in this world, if you hadn't started the institute. And sure it doesn't excuse what you did but use that as hope for fighting on."
Charles was quiet for a while, thinking over the things both of his companions had told him. He continued to stare at the island in deep thought. And finally as if he had prepared himself for a war, he spoke, "So what's the best course of action?"
"We kill her." came the reply from both of them. Charles looked at them in horror. "What.. I mean just now,...fight ..and now kill her."
"You are the one who asked for the best course of action, my friend. And the best thing we can do, which is also the least dangerous, is to kill her." replied Eric.
"What is the dangerous method?"
This time Marie spoke, "We need to remove the mental blocks in Jean's mind."
"But that will make Phoenix take control, which I believe is the exact thing we want to avoid."
"Not all of them at once, Charles." spoke an annoyed Eric. "Slowly. One by one. So that there is optimal time for Phoenix to integrate with Jean and once again become the same entity as they were always meant to be."
"But this is quite dangerous, Professor. We give Phoenix an inch and she will take an entire mile. Jean is already too weak and by weakening her blocks we will be putting her in danger. Not to mention everyone else around her. The students she teaches, the team when they are out in the field. We will never know when she'll snap."
"And yet it must be done. You are the one who has do this."
"Why me?"
"Because the blocks were put up by you. You will be able to sense where is weakness and if it is safe to probe at it, my friend."
Marie spoke, "But we have to be careful. Not only when you are in her mind but even in your daily interactions with her. She must never suspect that you have an ulterior motive, 'cause then the Phoenix will know. The results won't be pretty either. Jean's personality will undergo changes. She may become angry, depressed, anything. But you still can't stop. If you want Jean to have chance to live her life with Scott, you can't stop. And Professor, if you fail Ah won't hesitate in killing Jean. Remember that."