Disclaimer: I wonder if Kubo-sensei ever dreamt of being a woman, I mean I've dreamt of being a man but even then I still didn't own BLEACH!
AU, OOC, Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation, view-point switch, genderbender, etc
A double dose of femmelovin for the rainbow princess herself: Ane-chan!
SpiN Me A HoliDay
4/?
Zaraki Kenpa did not care much for the holiday season in general.
The cheesy greeting cards, music sung by an overly cheery choir, the jolly fat man who would bring presents to all the little boys and girls around the world.
But even more so the holiday season didn't appeal to her because it was a constant painful reminder of what she had lost-of what the angels and demons had ripped away from her.
Yachiru had loved all the bright colorful lights and candy-the little spitfire had vowed to become the best 'Santa' the world had ever seen-and when Kenpa had sat her daughter down and explained that 'Santa' was a man the pink-haired child only became more determined to be 'Santa'
'You could be Mrs. Claus Yachiru but you can't be Santa himself because he's a dirty ole' man.'
'Silly Mama-Kenpa of course Yachiru can be Santa I just need a mustache and a pillow'
The child raced over to the couch and selected a sizable pillow then stuffed it in her sweater, turning to the woman with a wide grin "See, ho, ho ho!'
The woman laughed and then scooped up her daughter and let the lil spitfire climb up on her back.
'Weeee we're flying-see I'm Santa and you're my reindeer.'
"You shouldn't frown so much Kenpaaaa, the winter holiday is a happppy time." Bubbly, blonde and flirtatious as ever Matsumoto Rangiku was smiling for both of them.
Despite having absolutely nothing in common with the other stylist of SugaR KingdoM, Kenpa had developed certain fondness for the younger woman.
It was rather warm for a mid December evening, which is why she had agreed to accompany the blonde to the last minute dinner party in the first place.
Well truthfully Kenpa had agreed to the invite the moment that she learned that Ichigo would be there as well.
It had been months since she'd last had a proper chat with the lovely orangette she had sworn to protect-well out side of telling the girl what outfit she should wear.
Kenpa had listened to some Ichigo's complaints though-had taken into account what the strawberry liked and didn't like-
No more poufy dresses that showed off the lead singers panties!
No more mary janes!
No more-
She had refused to give up the stockings-even as the orangette screamed out threats and stomped her feet Kenpa had ignored it and why?
Because it was one of her fetishes-even as a young girl herself Kenpa loved stockings-the feel and look-it was the ideal article of clothing in her opinion-the perfect line between sexy and innocent-well depending how one wore them.
Yes try as she might, the wild haired woman could not quite bury her feelings for Ichigo.
She'd always been stubborn by nature and when Kenpa saw something or someone that she wanted very little would stop her from obtaining that person or thing.
But Ichigo was precious and Kenpa had already had a taste of the forbidden fruit-once was not enough-would probably never be enough but there was too much of an age gap between them.
She wouldn't be selfish and give into her urges for a second time.
The lust was still there though-burning stronger than ever.
'Maybe I should think about distancing my self from Ichigo even more.'
"Kenpa-san, Rangiku-san it's the next block over."
Kenpa hadn't even realized that they had stopped walking-she'd been so lost in thoughts-completely forgot that she was basically letting the blonde drag her down the street-completely forgot about the princess trailing just a few feet behind them.
Why the young girl insisted on being back there Kenpa did not know but she supposed it might have something to do with her because yes at first glance she could be rather frightening to look at.
Of course Ichigo had never looked at her in this way and maybe-
'Maybe that's why I fell for her'
()()
If anyone asked Kuchiki Rukia if she ever ran around the mansion and almost slipped and broke her ass on the grand staircase she'd surely deny it.
Luckily no one but her sister was around to notice.
"Rukia, Kuchikis do not run in the house."
"I wasn't running!" Rukia snapped. She hated it when Yuya lectured her-made her feel like such a child.
"Stupid flat shoes," Rukia muttered under her breath but of course this did not go unnoticed by the older sister either.
"Kuchikis do not yell Rukia and I certainly hope for both of our sakes that you don't do something positively barbaric like release gas at the dinner table."
"I don't release gas," Rukia muttered darkly as she inspected her heel-it didn't look or feel like a sprain but it would probably leave an ugly bruise. "Stupid shoes." The raven cursed once more.
"Do not blame the shoes for your clumsiness Rukia, it is most unbecoming of a Kuchiki."
Rukia rolled her silver blues and continued down the stairs, wincing slightly when she reached the bottom.
"Yuya-nee where are you?"
It was so like her older sister to lecture even when she was behind a closed door of another room.
"I am in the kitchen, correcting your careless mistake."
"What mistake?"
"…"
"Yuya-nee?"
"Blue is not a holiday color Rukia, would you please stop shaming the Kuchiki blood line and use your brain for once."
She knew blue was not a holiday color but blue was prettier and would match the dress that she had picked out for her Hime-chan to wear.
Why did her sister always try to ruin a good thing?
"Just because you're PMS-ing doesn't mean you have to be such a bitch in the process Yuya-nee."
"Language, what would grandfather think if he h-
"Oh stuff it! Grandfather is not here and don't try to act all high and mighty I've heard you call your clients worse."
()()
"Shiori?"
"Hmm?"
"Didn't you say that Kairi and Ryuuzaki were just looking for a place to park the tour bus?"
"Mmm hmm."
"Then how come the tour bus is sitting in the drive way?"
A snicker "Well Ichi if ya must know Ryuuzaki picked up a new toy and well I'm sure ya can figure out the rest."
"In other words Eru-san and Yagami won't be coming off the bus anytime soon seeing as they are preoccupied," Ula elaborated Shiori's half ass explanation in between each mouth ful of low fat yogurt.
She smiled around her spoon, thankful that the orangette had been sweet enough to remember her favorite snack.
Ichigo closed the blinds and turned to the powdered duo "So then I take it they won't be accompanying us to dinner?"
Shiori looked up from her kindle "Dinner?"
Ichigo let out a sigh. Why didn't anyone listen to her when she talked?
"Yes dinner, Rukia invited us."
"Whose Rukia?"
If she wasn't trying to grow her hair out again Ichigo would have ripped at the bright orange locks just then.
"Gli will you hurry up with whatever you're doing in there and please explain to Shiori and Ula who Rukia is since obviously no one ever listens to me."
Gli came out of the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging from the side of her mouth.
Electric blues narrowed at the bino chicks.
Didn't they have anything better to do aside from eating everything in her refrigerator?
"Gli?"
And now her strawberry was looking at her expectantly and the blue haired girl willed herself to keep her temper in check.
She removed the toothbrush from her mouth and forced a smile on her face before speaking "Rukia is my best friend, which means she's a lot like me and most likely won't appreciate two coke whores stinking up her house with their cheap perfume and hairspray."
"Gli!"
Uh oh she knew that look-if she didn't watch herself the orangette would sleep in the guest bedroom again-it only happened once back in October when she had accused the strawberry of cheating on her-but once was more than enough and Gli did not wish for a repeat.
She let out a sigh "I'm s-
()()
Ula set down her spoon and cut Gli off-bottle green gaze drilling holes into her electric blues "Let's get one thing straight here child of nine lives, I do not care for your opinions, tone or complete lack of originality."
She ignored Shiori who was snickering beside her and continued "Nor do I care if you like me or my significant other-Kurosaki invited us to come and spend the holidays with her and so we are here to stay with or with out your approval."
As if to further fuel the fire that was now raging in the younger girls' electric blues, Ula pulled Shiori into her lap and started to 'play'
()()
Gli crossed her arms.
If these two whores thought she was going to be forced into leaving her own damn house they had another thing coming.
Sneering at the shameless duo who were now going at it on her couch like whores they were Gli shoved her toothbrush back in her mouth and disappeared back into the bathroom.
()()
Ichigo felt torn, couldn't decide of she should follow her girlfriend or lecture the two binos.
Luckily for the strawberry she didn't have to choose either one since the phone in her purse vibrated just then.
()()
"Ichigoooo!"
"Keiko?"
The orangette didn't expect to hear from her friend until sometime next week. The brunette sounded quite upset. Ichigo stepped into the next room and shut the door.
"Keiko what's wrong?"
A soft sob, "I-I don't know if I'll be able to come home in time to help you finish the album. Sis made an announcement during the dinner reception last night and she-I think she wants me to move in with her and her fiancé. I called Iba early but he didn't really seem to care-said it was time I moved on anyway but Ichigooooo!"
The strawberry held the phone away from her ear-she couldn't stand it when Keiko wailed
"Ichigooo I don't want to stop being the drummer of SugaR KingdoM."
The strawberry felt like rolling her eyes. Is that what this was all about?
"Calm down Keiko I'm sure your sister doesn't really expect you t-
"NO! She did-I swear! Which is what brings me to my reason for calling in the first place," a pause "I need you to gather the girls and do me a super duper huge favor."
"What are you talking about Keiko?"
"Ask questions later, just contact Rena and Hime, we won't be able to pull it off with out them."
What kind of lame brained scheme was her brunette friend trying to get her to agree to?
"Keiko what the hell are you talking about?"
"I know you don't care much for parachutes but I need the three of you to get on a plane-oh and before you do make sure to dress in all black-we're talking clothes, shoes, masks the whole 9."
Ichigo raised a brow even though Keiko couldn't see it.
"How the hell is dressing up in idiotic costumes and going sky diving supposed to convince your sister that you need to remain in SugaR KingdoM?"
"What the hell are you talking about Ichigoooo?" a whine "I need you girls to pose as guys, guys who kidnap me and-
"Okay Keiko, hanging up now."
"No! Wait Wait Wait don't hang up for the love of God don't hang up Ichigoooo!"
"What?" The orangette snapped growing quite irritated of her friends dramatics.
"I-I really need your help right now I-I'm scared he'll come back and try again-maybe even succeed this time."
"Keiko what are you-did some one hurt you?"
"It's-a broken sob "I don't even know how it happened-one minute I'm just napping on the couch and the next he's just there and at first I think he just wants to watch the sports channel or something so I toss him the remote and h-he-he-
"Keiko? Keiko!"
"I don't understand it I mean he married my sis but somehow he's gotten it in his mind that-
"That what?" Ichigo's voice was growing frantic with every sob and word that came out of her friends' mouth. "Why didn't you say something sooner-if I had known I would hav-
"Because he was listening by the d-door and I had to act like nothing was wrong but Ichigoooo I'm really, really scared and I don't know what to do."
"Keiko listen to me you can't-
"I'm not perfect I-I get that but I never wa-wanted-
"Keiko stop crying you-you have to be strong."
A sob. "I'm trying but Ichigoooo I-I remember how I said that I lost the big V when I was 15?"
Why was her friend bringing up something so pointless right now?
"What about it Ke-
"I lied. I wanted-I just wanted you and Rena to think I was-Ichigooooo I want to get married, I want to have children I don't-I don't I DON'T WANT TO BECOME KOU's sex-slave mistress when my sis' back is turned-please SAVE ME!"
The wail was so painful-so heart wrenching-Ichigo desperately wished she could fly over and protect her friend right now but she wasn't super human and this wasn't a fairy tale and she didn't have a magic car-
"Carpet that's it! Keiko where are you right now?"
"I-I'm in the attic but its really dark up here."
"Keiko whatever you do, do not leave the attic I repeat do not leave the attic, stay right where you are."
"O-okay b-but you're not gonna try and come yourself are you Ichigo?"
"Well-
"You can't! It's too dangerous-Kou is too dangerous and I-I-
"Keiko stop! I won't-I promise you I will come get you but I won't come alone so just sit tight-
"Are you hanging up?"
"I'll call you right back just stay strong Keiko!"
"I-I don't w-want you to hang up."
"I know but I promise I'll be there and with the help of Shiori, Ula and Gli we'll make that bastard pay!"
"You're not going to contact Rena or Hime?"
"Nah I don't want those two involved in this-besides Inoue made plans with her girlfriend."
()()
While Hime was in the other room taking the sudden urgent phone call from one of her bandmates-Rukia decided that it would be a good time as ever to break the silence.
"So Kenpa-san h-
The woman snorted "Just Kenpa, save the formalities for frou frou celebrities and royalty."
"Okay Kenpa it is then."
The woman nodded her approval and Rukia continued.
"How long have you and Rangiku-san-
"No, no, no that will never do, call me Ran-chan, Ran-chan."
Rukia still wasn't all that fond of the ginger blonde stylist but she couldn't find it in her holiday heart to snap at the tipsy cougar. "Ran-chan it is, how long have you and Kenpa been friends?"
The blonde looked thoughtful for a moment before a frown marred her face "Not nearly long enough I was working at a family owned salon before I got the opportunity to work for SugaR KingdoM."
"How about you Kenpa?"
A grunt was the only response the raven-haired girl received.
She looked to her sister.
Yuya hadn't said a word beyond 'please take off your shoes' (when the duo had been ushered inside) and 'please use a coaster' when the group had sat down In the living room to chat before they sat down for dinner.
She glanced towards the clock wondering what was keeping the rest of the guests-figured once the others arrived maybe her sister would be in a better mood.
On the plus side it seemed like Kenpa had taken an interest in Yuya if the way the wild woman kept shooting the taller raven looks was anything to go by.
Yuya (sadly) do not seem to show the slightest interest.
And then Rangiku blurted out "Rukia-chan when are you and Orihime-chan going to hurry up and make me some granddaughters?"
Rukia would have laughed just then if her older sister hadn't suddenly started choking on her wine and triscuits-hands clutching her throat-face going from bright red to purple in mere seconds-eyes tearing up-
Rangiku just giggled drunkenly before falling asleep in her empty soup bowl with a loud snore.
A smile made its way on to Rukia's face as Kenpa practically flew out of her seat and rushed to Yuya's side and preformed the Heimlich in what surely had to be considered record time.
()()()
A short while later…
"Oh Izzy-chan what brings you here?"
Matsumoro Rangiku was not the type of woman who would worry about silly little things such as why it was improper to answer someone else's door.
She figured she was doing Rukia and Orihime-chan a favor by playing the good housekeeper while the two girls enjoyed their dessert and teased Abarai-chan about her late arrival.
She felt a little guilty about not checking up on Rukia's sister Yuya but concluded that her presence probably wouldn't be necessary since Kenpa was looking after her.
After her near brush with death Yuya (understandably) had wished to retire for the evening and Kenpa being the caring woman she was didn't let the younger woman go up the stairs by herself.
In fact she had insisted on carrying the tall and slender raven up the winding staircase.
It was rather adorable-the only other time Rangiku had witnessed Kenpa's gentle nature was around Ichigo-chan-so it was nice to see that there might be a possible chance of some holiday romance between her friend and Rukia-chan's older sister.
She half wished she could stick around but at the same time Izzy-chan looked too damn adorable in her little sailor moon outfit (the shorter blonde was coming from an anime convention) but instead of grinning from ear to ear-baby blues glistened with tears.
"I know its short notice but I already tried to contact Ginna, no answer so I called Haineko and she told me I'd find you here."
"You want me to go with you somewhere Izzy-chan?"
Izzy tucked a stray lock of pale blond hair behind her ear "I just don't like to eat dinner alone so if you'd like to join me?"
"Say no more Izzy-chan I'd love to join you for dinner!" Rangiku picked up the shorter woman and spun her around "We're gong to have so much fun!"
TBC