Disclaimer: I don't own middle earth. That belongs to Tolkien.
Walking. Lots and lots of walking. It was extremely tiring. Not that Alora didn't see the benefits in it like staying fit or getting bow legs from riding for so long, but her feet were killing her.
"You think you're uncle would let me try catching something to ride? Like a wild horse or maybe a boar?"
Fili and Kili glanced at each other, then turned their attention back to the road.
"Because if I do somehow manage to find a wild boar I could always strap a saddle to the sucker and just use that to trot along, you know." She saw Kili shift in his seat ever so slightly, itching to join in the conversation that she seemed content to have with or without them. "Maybe braid in little flowers in its hair too. I could even name it something like 'Harold III' or 'Star Lord'."
"Why would you call a pig 'Star Lord'?" Fili asked, before remembering himself and turning back forward. Alora flicked another pebble into Bofur's hat.
"I'm glad you asked," she smiled. "You see, pigs are very intelligent creatures. Much more so than we really give them credit for. Enough that they understand that the meaning of life is to value caring. Because of their dedication to those they care about, they are infinitely more powerful than all other non pig beings. They are more so that they are blessed with the reckoning of the stars. They know all and see all through them. They are the stars. Pig and star as one. Pig is life. Therefore, they are the 'Star Lord'."
For the first time since she had met them, both brothers turn and look her in the eye.
Alora struggled. "I have a gift with bull shit."
"How- what-" Kili looked extremely confused.
"You get used to it." Alora assured him and winked. "Just one of my many charms."
Kili threw an alarmed glance at his brother who shrugged helplessly, having no idea how to handle the elf currently in their midst.
"And there's plenty more where that came from. For instance, have you ever stopped to think about grass? I mean, because it must feel so utterly hatted. It's stepped on and kicked; torn up and forgotten. Maybe it just wants to feel loved. Maybe, it never forgets. One day, grass will have had enough. It will be fed up with all you dwarves taking a piss on it. The grass will rise up and consume us all, because you couldn't take one second to consider how the grass might feel before you let 'em rip. Why did you doom us all. Why. Why?!"
"What is wrong with you?!" Kili looked back at her bewildered.
"I'm bored."
She was met with a blank look.
"What? Did you expect half-elves to be all high and mighty? Or maybe hiding in the shadows plotting mischievous things involving salads? Oh my!"
"What does that even mean?" Fili interjected.
"How should I know! It's you who thought it."
"I didn't-" Fili cut himself off. He shook his head. "Maybe we should just gag you."
Alora's smile grew a tad feral, "Then it's just a challenge."
"What. What's a challenge," Kili sighed.
"Seeing if I can get someone to talk to me."
That shut them up. Poor lads hadn't really stood a chance.
"Something's got the ponies spooked." Dwalin spoke to Thorin.
Alora looked around. There was nobody of a sizable threat near them. Or at least not anyone she could see.
"Keep your eyes open." Thorin told them.
There. Alora saw something. It was an animal. Small, but-
"Hey!" Alora darted out and slammed her heel on the snake's neck. Her plan had almost worked out, up until it thrashed enough to slam it's teeth into her foot. "Well shit."
Thorin jumped down from his pony, "Oin-"
"Already on it." The old healer came over to her side.
"No, no, I should be fine." She tried to wave him off.
"Are you crazy. That was a viper. You're going to die if I don't-"
"A what," Alora went still.
"A viper! Deadly venom. You need to-"
Alora grabbed his arm. "Get my lute."
"What? How-"
"Get my lute now."
"Why would-"
Alora pushed past the dwarf, already limping on the bitten foot.
"Sit down!" The healer went to grab her arm, but she pulled out her lute from her bag.
"Unless I treat that bit now you're going to die!" Oin couldn't believe what he was seeing. The elf had sat down and started to play. "What are you doing?!"
Her breathing was labored, and he could already see the swelling take hold up to her ankle now. Her skin was turning a yellowish hue.
"I need see the-" The dwarf grabbed her foot, wrenching off her boot while she continued to play. Then something changed.
"What in-" her leg had stopped swelling. By now it should be at least twice this big. Then something even stranger happened. The swelling went down. Oin watched as the leg went back to its original form; even the bite mark closed in on itself.
Oin looked back up at the girl.
She tilted her head, still slightly out of breath, "One would think you'd never seen a troubadour before."
None of the dwarves had even gone near her after that. Oin had merely given back her boot, stood up, and walked back to his pony. The other dwarves had not even looked in her general direction. Bilbo was curious, but seemed far more unnerved by the incident than willing to venture over to her again. Gandalf had been in a clear state of shock.
That had surprised her the most. Wasn't he a wizard? He had mostly just let her be so far in their journey (which was fine by her since she didn't have the best track record with wizards). It at least was less weird for the others. Maybe they had just been living sheltered lives from magic. But from what she gathered they had done some traveling. How could they be so… unfamiliar with magic then?
When they stopped for camp, Alora walked up to Thorin.
"You all have never seen a troubadour, have you?"
Thorin looked at her.
She sighed. "I think I'm a lot farther from home than I originally suspected."
"Alright, I'm going to ask you all to actually answer my questions." Alora looked at them all. "How much magic do you exactly have?"
"We have magic, my dear, but I don't believe quite like yours." Gandalf leaned on his staff.
"So you don't have mages, troubadours, durges, shamen, necromancers-"
"A what?" Balin asked.
"Mages, mostly deal with spells as a form of magic, but sometimes using raw elements and bending them to their will. Troubadours, use music as a way to heal or help someone whether is an enhancement or wards. Durge, deals with using music to kill or torcher and can lead its victims to insanity. Necromancers, raise dead in order to have them fight for them or summon a creature to fight."
"I'm fairly certain that we do not have those exact things here." Gandalf looked slightly alarmed.
Alora rubbed her temples. "Then they succeeded in sending me to another world that does not even have the same universal guidelines-"
"Who send you here."
Alora looked up at Thorin. "The new King of Qeynos. I was banished. And now I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get back."
"What do you mean banished, elf-"
"How many species do you have? Because you lot seem pretty hung up on that whole half-elf thing."
"There are humans, dwarves, elves, hobbits," Gandalf listed.
"What about Vah Shir, Frogloks, Gnolls, Iksar, Fea, Fairies, dark elves?"
Gandalf shook his head. "I don't believe I've ever met one of those."
Alora was silent for a moment. "How in the hell did they manage to get me here then. The amount of magic it would take would consume Qeynos alone. How could-" Alora stopped herself. "Those. MOTHERFUCKERS." Her eyes hardened. "They used my magic to banish me. They couldn't achieve it on their own!" Alora bared her teeth. "When I catch up to to those gutless-"
Alora began pacing back and forth and gripping her hands together. "No-no-no-no-no," Her nails dug into her skin, leaving bites on the backs of her hands.
"What kind of magic do you have?" Bilbo jumped in.
Alora paused and blinked at him. "Well in Nathan, the world I come from, everyone has access to magic." Alora crossed her arms, calming herself. "It's more of a skill you can pick up than it seems you can here. It's like carpentry. You can choose to learn it or not, but you will most likely use it in your life by receiving something made by a carpenter. It's not expected to be used, and not everybody goes about using it the same way."
"Like with your lute?" Bilbo supplied.
Alora's eyes focused on him, like she was slowly pulling herself from darker thoughts in order to pay attention to the conversation. "Yea, like with my lute."
She stood for a moment longer, before picking up her pack. Slowly, as if still not quite processing everything yet, she walked over to a grass patch and laid out her bed mat.
The elf was quiet for most of the next day. She walked along, barely glancing at anyone. She seemed closed off, like she had more important things going on in her mind at the moment.
"Do you really think she hails from an entirely different world?" Kili whispered (or at least tried to whisper) to his brother.
Fili raised an eyebrow at him, probably hoping to copy uncle. "You ever see someone remove venom by playing a song before?"
"Well, no," Kili looked back at the elf.
"Kili, no."
"What! I didn't say anything!"
"We are not going to go over there and start asking her questions."
"But- gnolls Fili! What are gnolls?!" Kili wined.
"Uncle won't like it-"
"Gnolls."
Fili was suddenly on the receiving end of Kili's most pleading puppy eyes. The older dwarf sighed, already resigning himself to his fate. "Kili, I don't think the tree-licker will even-"
They both heard a thud and looked back down the line.
Alora nealed on the ground, where she had apparently tripped, and blinked at the brothers. "Did you just call me, a tree-licker?"
"Shit." Fili mumbled. Alora covered her mouth with her hand and both brothers looked at each other alarmed.
A strangled noises came from Alora, and they thought she was crying because her shoulders were shaking. That is, until she started snorted and rolled over onto her back. "A tree-licker?!" Alora's giggle fit made it hard to breath. "My mother," she wheezed, "liking a tree?! What do they taste like? Does the bark hurt your tongue? Is it oddly satisfying? We'll never know!" Alora began to coughing so hard that she was holding her side. When she looked back up at them there were tears in her eyes. "Tell me the truth." Alora face grew taunt, "Do elves in middle earth actually lick trees."
"Most definantly."
They all turned to see Thorin staring at them.
Alora nearly hyperventilated.
"So…"
Alora looked up to see Bofur sit down across from her. He had a block of wood in his hands along with a knife for whittling. "Can I do something for you?"
"No, I was just wondering," Alora noticed Fili, Kili, and Bilbo gravitating over towards them. Even Ori seemed to perk up when Bofur started talking from where he sat with his parchment and pen. "What is this world where you come from."
"Yes, yes. What are gnolls." Kili butted in. Beside him Fili rolled his eyes.
Alora glanced between them. "You want to know about… gnolls." She wasn't quite sure if they were serious or not.
Kili just gave her an enthusiastic head nod.
"Ok… Well, think of a wolf that is able to stand on two legs and hold weapons with it's hands. They can talk in their wolf language or common tongue and have a very basic understanding of knowledge. They're a bit barbaric, but incredibly loyal. Unless they're hungry. Then you have to repeatedly make sure that they know that they're not aloud to eat you."
Bofur haver her a disbelieving look. "Are you sure you're not just making these things up."
Alora snorted, "You can't make up Gabriel the Valiant."
"Who?" Fili asked.
"A gnoll. Knew him before all that Valiant stuff. Saved him from a Freeport necromancer once." Alora spit on the ground.
"... Freeport?"
Alora spat again and looked at Bilbo, "Bunch of soulless bastards." Alora settled down into her spot. "There's also not as much racial prejudice as there seems to be here."
Bofur raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"
Alora nodded. "There's too many different species for them to simply segregate themselves. Plus, most everyone prospers more when there is trade between them. An elf is more likely to hate a dark elf than a dwarf mostly because dark elves are their evil counterpart."
"Well all elves have more than enough evil even if they aren't a 'dark elf'."
"No, that's not what I'm saying," Alora sighed. "All creatures can be bad or good. Evil creatures just don't need good things to function. They can do nice things, but they don't feel any emotional satisfaction from doing it. Non-dark elves can go try and wipe out the sun so that the world is plunged into eternal darkness, but they would only doom themselves because they need the sun in order to live." Alora explain. "Plus, dark elves are really creepy. Ash skin with bone white hair and red eyes."
Fili seemed to process it. "So elves and dwarves get along ok?"
"Kind of. It would be more of a personal grudge against each other if they did have a problem, but not every dwarf dislikes every elf." Alora though for a moment. "Except for high elves. They're all a bunch of conceded pricks. Normal elves and wood elves are cool though."
"Food's up!" Bombur called. The dwarves got up and rushed to get their portions. Alora would have to wait for one of them to finish and use their bowl to eat whatever was left.
"I'll grab you something," Bilbo assured her before scurrying off with the others.
Her stomach grumbled.
She looked down at her abdomen disdainfully, "Quiet you."
A howl rang through the night.
"What, was that!" Bilbo squeaked, hopping over to Fili and Kili. Probably sneaking the horses apples again.
Alora calmed her nerves. The howl was too far away for it to be any real threat, yet. They were gaining though. When the orcs had come across her they were looking in the complete opposite direction.
Bilbo obviously didn't know any of this, because the boys were currently trying to scare him senseless.
She was about to rebuke them, but Thorin beat her to it.
"You think it's funny? You think a raid by Orcs is a joke?"
The smiles instantly died from their faces.
"We didn't mean anything by it, sorry Uncle."
"No you don't, you know nothing of the world," Thorin walked away towards the cliff overlooking the grasslands below.
"Don't worry laddies. Thorin has more reason than most to hate Orcs," Balin told them. Alora looked over to where Thorin stood.
"After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria. But our enemy had gotten there first." Balin told of a battle not so long ago of bravery, courage, and suffering. A glance at the other dwarves told her that this might be the first time they had ever heard the story, or at least all of it.
"What happened to him? The Pale Orc, I mean," Bilbo asked.
Thorin's featured turned even darker than they already were. "He slunk back into the hole whence he came from. That filth died of his wounds long ago."
It would be nice if things were ever that simple.
The dwarf may be a prick, but it obvious that it wasn't just his fault that he was that way.
A/N: So if you didn't notice, Alora is a character based off of EverQuest II. It's a video game my brother's would play and they made an entire story off of it.
Little side note. Alora isn't one to just take things lightly. The whole tree-licker thing was mostly her just being so exhausted and so upset that it kinda triggered a bigger reaction. Think of when you find something ridiculous just absolutely funny at three in the morning for no real reason. You got to see a bit of the sassy Thorin with him picturing Thradual liking trees, but I promise there'll be more once they all start to get to know each other (*sigh* Oh sassy Thorin). Please review!