Wow, thank you guys for all the reviews. I didn't actually know that I would get such a good response. Like I said this is really fun writing, but I still don't know if people are going to want to read this due to the fact of the direction the story is taking, because right now it's not E/B. It will be, but right now, it's just not because that would unrealistic. lmao. Well, yea, thank you all for reviewing. And I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

B.P.O.V

"Oh come on Bella! Let me at least help buy the wedding dress." Alice pleaded. Her little blue eyes were begging me, and I was about to fall for it, but I bit my tongue.

"Alice, no. I came here to relax, when I get back, you can help with the wedding stuff." I promised. I didn't want to deny her, but at the same time I didn't want to fall for it. She sighed but nodded nonetheless.

"Fine." She agreed a bit grudgingly. I smiled apologetically.

"Alice, please, just let her relax a tiny bit." Edward's voice rang from behind me. I turned around to look at him. I was surprised that he was actually here. He was smiling at me, and I gave him a thankful look, into which he just nodded. Alice finally huffed before leaving the room. I let out a breath of relief.

Alice had been bothering me about it all week, and it was truly starting to get on my nerves. She wouldn't shut up, about the wedding. I didn't want to worry about the wedding until little Derek was out. I hadn't thought of a name yet. I knew I was running out of time and that at any moment I would have to come up with one, but it just didn't seem to fit.

All the names I thought of just didn't work for me. I sighed frustratingly, rubbing my hand over my stomach. I heard a low cough, reminding me that Edward was still in the room. I looked up at him.

"So, um, you're getting married huh?" He asked awkwardly, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to me. I nodded. I hadn't talked to Edward much. Our little truce was nice, but it still didn't click. There was something missing.

"Yea, but I don't want to worry about that now; there are too many other things to worry about." I said.

It was true, I had to worry about my baby, and the name, Derek, and Edward.

Edward.

When Edward had talked to me the other day, and it was fine, except that I almost slipped. I didn't know that those three words would cause so much pain and memories for me. I didn't want him to see the pain, or anything that I might have felt before. It wasn't something he should have to see, and yet that moment, that memory, has been stuck in my mind for these past three days. I didn't want him to feel bad about what happened. I'm fine now, and I'm happy with Derek so there shouldn't be any reason for him to feel any sort of guilt.

"Well what else do you have to worry about?" Edward asked breaking me from my thoughts. I looked up at him. There was no way I could tell him about my worry with him.

"Well, I don't know what to name the baby." I said with a shrug. It wasn't a lie, it was just simply not the whole truth. Edward chuckled.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked. I looked down at the floor, my lips pursing.

"I liked Tristan." I admitted. It was true. The name had popped up in my head a couple times, but I didn't really feel like it was the name for him. Edward leaned back and thought about that.

"That's a nice name." He agreed. I smiled. It was a nice name. "Well, what other name do you like?" He asked looking straight forward. I thought for a moment.

There were many names that could easily work for me, but I hadn't exactly thought about it.

"I don't know." I said in a low voice. "I like Anthony." I blurted out. I did like that name. It was very good for a boy, and there was just something about it. Edward tensed, and I turned to look at him questioningly. He was looking straight at me, and all of a sudden he burst out laughing. I stared at him in shock. Did I have something on my face? What was so funny? "What?" I demanded. Edward slowed his laughing down.

"My middle name is Anthony. Don't you remember Bella?" He asked still laughing, but with a bit of an edge. I suddenly blushed. Oh crap, that's right! His middle name is Anthony. After he stopped laughing and I stopped blushing, he finally sighed. "Has it been that long? Did you really forget my middle name?" He said jokingly, but I could see the seriousness in his eyes. I shook my head.

"Of course not. I just blurted out the name Anthony, not remembering the coincidence." I shrugged. I didn't want him to feel hurt. Edward smiled slightly, a sign that he was ok with it, and then he turned to look at the wall again.

I hated the silence between us. It was comfortable sure, but it wasn't something that I wanted. I didn't want the silence to go on like this. We were supposed to be best friends; we were supposed to get along. I think what bothered me the most was that I had missed his voice so much these past years, and then now that he's just not talking, it pissed me off to say the least.

I let out another frustrated sigh, and once again let my hand graze over my overgrown belly. It always relaxed me, and the one thing I needed right now was to relax. I didn't have a reason to be mad, and I knew that, but ever since I got here, something has been off. It's been missing…..I can't place it. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm back. After a couple minutes, I saw through the corner of my eye as Edward studied my stomach. He had that crazy look in his eye meaning that he was deep in thought. It's not like he was burning a hole in my belly like last time, no this time, he look hesitant. He finally put his hand out towards me, but stopped shortly before he touched me.

"Can I?" He finally asked, reaching his hand towards my stomach once more. I nodded eagerly. For some reason, I wanted him to touch it. I wanted him to touch me, and accept me.

I felt as his cool fingers touched my belly over the shirt. It was a feathery touch, and I could tell he was hesitant about it. Trying to give him confidence, I pulled my shirt over, showing my bear belly, and then I grabbed his hand, ignoring the electric shock that came with it, and placed it fully on my stomach.

The touch itself brought chills up my spine. It felt right, like his hand was meant to be there. It was the missing piece of the puzzle. It was our moment, our new bonding experience, and I was glad that one touch meant so much as the small smile appeared on his lips, and his eyes met mine. I smiled weakly at him too. He bent his head down, just like everyone else had, and he rested his ear on my tummy. I grinned as I felt his smile spread across his face. I let my fingers rest on his hair, his soft penny colored hair.

"I think the name Anthony is perfect." He whispered as he glanced up at me. I nodded my head in agreement.

Perfect.

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0

"I just don't get it. Why do you girls have to take us guys to the mall?" Emmett complained for the fifth time. Derek beside me chuckled as he rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"Emmett, just shut up. You're the only one complaining." Rose hissed. She jutted her chin out, and then passed her fingers through her blonde locks.

"Rose, I'm the only one with the balls to complain. Jasper is too smart to know not to mess with Alice, Edward is moody right now, therefore not talking, and Derek….well what is wrong with Derek?" Emmett asked looking over at Derek. Derek shrugged.

"Bella never needs to take me out, so it's not that big of a deal to me." Derek explained coolly. Emmett groaned.

"Shit, you got the perfect girlfriend, and life. Hot, knocked up with a future little soccer player, nice, non-shoppoholic, and on top of that she doesn't fight or take off any sex from you. I envy you." Emmett said with a playful glare, which earned him a smack from Rose. Everyone started laughing, except for Edward, who just muttered something under his breath, and kept a straight face.

He was moody. Ever since Alice announced the shopping trip, Edward has been…….different. It made me wonder if he was ever bipolar before, because this morning he was perfectly fine. I let out a breath as Alice skipped happily with Jasper hot on her heels, through the stores.

"You guys there is a cute book shop around here, I want to go see it." I announced, as the boys started to enter some sports store. I could see Derek's eyes sparkle as he looked around with Emmett and Jasper at all the sport's equipment. Rose and Alice were already in a Victoria's Secret right next door with Alex.

"You want me to come with you?" Derek asked. I laughed. I knew he didn't really want to skip out on the sport's store.

"Derek I'll be fine." I promised. Derek looked at me doubtfully, contemplating on whether to take my word for it or go with me.

"I'll go with her." Edward volunteered from behind me. I turned to look at him, and found him smiling down at me too. It was the first smile I've seen in an hour. The last time he smiled in the past hour was when Alex had kissed him, but even then, it was still small.

"Alright." Derek shrugged, but not before running up to me. I laughed against his lips, when he gave me a kiss, like if we were saying goodbye or something. Nonetheless, I kissed him back. Edward stood awkwardly beside us, until Derek let me go and walked into the store. I stared behind him. He really was a great guy. I sighed before turning to look at Edward.

"You'll really go with me to the bookstore?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't see why not."

I smiled as we headed out to the bookstore. The walk to the bookstore was full of silence, but not the silence like before. This one was comfortable and just….silence.

We finally made it to the bookstore and Edward opened the door for me, as I walked inside. He took walked beside me as my eyes wandered over the little book store. It was very old fashioned, with wood and different decorations that didn't even match. There seemed to be endless bookshelves and as you walked forward the store seemed to get more modern.

"You still like the classics?" Edward asked. I nodded my head eagerly as I walked towards the classic section. Edward chuckled. "I knew it." He muttered. I turned to face him, with a skeptical look.

"Knew what?" I asked. He shrugged his shoulders and adverted his gaze to look at a couple of books in front of him, but the goofy grin never left his face. I had a witty response ready, but he beat me to it.

"So, are you going to have a fight with me over Wuthering Heights?" He asked with his eyebrow raised. I looked at him confused, until the memory dawned on me. He was talking about that one time he had dissed one of my all time favorite books, and I just about choked him. I shook my head and turned back my attention to the bookshelf.

There were so many, but I didn't know which one to start with. Wuthering Heights caught my eye, and I wanted so bad to grab it, just to piss Edward off, but I didn't want to buy it if I already owned a copy. Jane Eyre was next to it though, which is by the same author, so I grabbed it. (I am quite aware of the fact that it's not by the same author...I don't read the classics, so sorry if I put that it was the same author. lol. Just so that we're clear, pretend that she said it was by the sister of the author, or whatnot. sorry people. I'm not perfect. :)) Edward gave me a skeptical look, before smirking and returning to look at some other book.

For some reason, I loved the atmosphere, and the way things were going. I suppose it's the fact that we were just being Bella and Edward, like when we were in high school, before Alex.

Alex.

I really thought things were going to be easy, since I'm not in love with Edward anymore; well at least I'm in love with Derek. But every time they touch, it just brings back memories from the past that I don't want to go back to. I just didn't want to touch the past, I wanted to leave it behind and move on. But somehow when they kiss, or hug, or even hold hands in front of me, it reminds me of what I couldn't have, and what I had worked so hard for.

That's ok though, because I lost Edward, but gained Derek and the baby. And it's not like I really lost Edward, I mean he's right next to me. I smiled at the thought, and turned to look at him, but he was already staring down at me, and our eyes locked.

His were intense, and once again he had that crazy look, the one that says he's thinking hard. It's like he was trying to see through me, to read me. I couldn't move or speak, it didn't seem right. Something told me to just wait. So I did.

"What are you thinking?" He finally whispered. I blinked, my focus going from his eyes to his lips. What do I tell him? 'I'm thinking about how every time you touch your girlfriend I want to yank my heart out?' No! I think I'll pass on that one.

"I was just thinking about….stuff." I said simply, looking away. There wasn't a better excuse that came to mind at the time. I felt Edward's cool finger lift up chin to look at him and then drop to his side. Our eyes locked again, and his were serious, yet curious too.

"Bella…." He started. I sighed, knowing he was going to insist and no matter what he wasn't going to believe me. I had to say something. I couldn't say what I felt about him and his wife, I mean I can imagine the embarrassment right now, and that thought makes my cheeks red. Edward noticed. "You're blushing." He stated. Oh crap. I pursed my lips, until I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I was thinking about Derek." I blurted out, and almost immediately covered my mouth. I just told Edward I was thinking about sex with my husband. What the hell is that about? Edward looked at me with a frown, for a moment, his eyes getting darker. "I was thinking about the time he saved me from the ocean. It was embarrassing." I added. I didn't want Edward to get the wrong impression, and whatever brought that frown, I wanted it to disappear. Edward's eyes lit up again in interest, but the frown never faded.

"What happened in the ocean?" He asked curiously. I didn't want to tell him because I knew that it would have to go back to the past, but I was way into deep and he was going to keep insisting on it, and I didn't want him to hear it from Derek. I sighed pointing at a couple seats in the back. They looked comfortable enough. He followed me as I wobbled my way over there, and took a seat. I sat down in the beanbag which was big enough for two, so Edward sat down next to me. I could smell his scent from here. He always did smell good. It was like man cologne, but nothing could match up to it because at the same time it was very sweet. The funny part was, he didn't wear any perfume or AXE, or nothing. That was his smell. I smiled as I took in another whiff of his sweet scent.

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked.

Without thinking I blurted out, "I was thinking about how you smell so good, I remember that since we were in high school." I started blushing. I really need to shut my mouth. Edward just grinned happily at me.

"Alright, well what happened in the ocean?" He asked, returning back to the original subject. I thought hard for a moment.

"Well, it was a couple months after I went to California. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything….." I said carefully, trying hard not to let him know what pain I was going through exactly. Edward nodded, his mouth back to a small frown. I continued.

"So, I had a lot of crazy moments in California. There were a lot of times, that I wasn't….um….thinking." I said, still trying to keep this as simple as possible. Edward nodded, slightly frowning. "So, I went to the beach one day, for a um…..swim….." I said. I didn't want to mention how it was actually to try and maybe kill myself. I wasn't suicidal, but my knowledge with the storm, wasn't absent. I knew it was coming, but I was slightly hoping it could do me some damage.

Edward looked at me skeptically, like if he didn't believe me. That made me swallow hard. I looked down at my hands, trying to ignore his stare, but it was no use, I could feel it right now, and the worst part, was that it didn't make me uncomfortable, or nervous. I started playing with my hands.

"So, there was a storm that day….and I….um….didn't know." I said stealing a glance at him, but his face had gone hard, showing no emotions, and his eyes flat and dark. "So I jumped in the water, and I almost drowned, and Derek saved me. When I finally reacted after mouth to mouth, the first thing he asked me was, 'Are you trying to kill yourself, you crazy girl.'" I chuckled darkly, because at the time, Derek didn't know the truth of his own words.

Beside me Edward was as still as a statue. I was too afraid to look up at him, to risk the chance of him seeing right through me. I kept my gaze on the wooden floor, making patterns that didn't even exist. It seemed like forever until Edward finally moved. His head snapped to look at me.

"You tried to kill yourself." He stated in a low, fierce whisper. I pursed my lips. I knew I couldn't lie to him, he would know. I finally let out a gush of air, and nodded. I was still too afraid to meet his eyes.

"Why?" He whispered. I shook my head, hanging my head down. I let my hands rub soothing circles on my belly. "Was it that bad? Bella can't you tell me exactly how bad I hurt you? Was it so bad that you had to try and kill yourself? Did you even think about what that would do to us? To me?" He asked, still in a low voice. I looked down, the guilt filling in through me. I hadn't even considered those possibilities.

"Edward, it wasn't you that hurt me." He tried to cut me off, but I shook my head. I needed to explain this to him. "Edward, it wasn't you that hurt me. I hurt myself. I knew it was a big risk to fall in love with you. I mean, you know how love is, once you're in, you can't get out." I tried to explain. I heard him mutter something along the lines of, "No, I don't know." But, I tried to ignore it and continue.

"When I fell in love with you, there was no escape. I knew that, and I was willing to hurt myself. You found Alex, and she's your other half and-" He cut me off.

"Other half." He snorted. I looked at him confused. What is up with him? I ignored that and continued. I would ask him later.

"Yes, other half. She and you belong together. So, I wasn't part of that picture." Once again he cut me off.

"Yes you were." He practically growled. My temper grew.

"Where Edward? Where was I part of that? As the girl who stood in the back, watching and crying? You think I deserved that?" I regretted it the minute the words came out, because the pain and guilt in Edward's eyes was too much. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. Look, what I'm trying to say, is that it's not your fault that you couldn't love me. It happens. Shit happens. You didn't want me, and that's fine. As long as I could have still been your friend I was ok. But, I felt like everything was slipping away from me. You….Esme, Carlisle, Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper….it felt like Alex was taking my spot." I felt the tears start to form, at the memories, and as much as I wanted to shut up, I couldn't. "I felt like everything that I had formed for myself was being taken away from me. So it really wasn't your fault Edward. I was in pain, and I felt loss, that was my own fault. You didn't do anything. I felt like…..like if everything I had worked for, was for Alex, like if she was supposed to be in my shoes this whole time, I was just setting everything up for her."

I broke into sobs by that point. Everything that I had been keeping in me for three whole years, just spilled out. All the nights that I cried myself to sleep couldn't match up to all the tears that I was letting out now. I couldn't stop myself. All Edward could do, was sit me on his lap, and hug me. I buried my face in his chest, and wrapped my arms around him, tightly, holding on for dear god. He just held me tight to his body, holding me just like I was holding him, like if it was our last moments, like if it could kill us. He didn't know what to do with me, or himself. One moment, he would be whispering in my ear, to calm me down, and another he'd be kissing my cheek or my forehead. Then he would grab on to me with all his might, like if his life depended on it.

At one point, I felt his body shake under mine, and I realized we were both crying. We were both sobbing like idiots, but it was ok. Because we both needed to. This whole time, I just needed someone to cry with, I just didn't know it was Edward. I didn't know it was Edward, who had to hold me. I didn't know it was Edward who had to be crying with me, or kissing away my tears, his lips passing right over my cheeks and eyelids. I had no idea it was him who could heal me, when he was the one who broke me. I didn't know it was him who could hold me so tightly, that my belly would explode, and still make me feel comfortable. I didn't know.

I also didn't know that it was me who could make this beautiful creature cry, and comfort him at the same time. I didn't know it was my neck who he wanted to bury his face in. I didn't know it was me who could wrap my arms fully around him, and I didn't know it was me who he was suppose to hold onto with all his power. I didn't know it was me who was supposed to wash away his tears from his eyes with my own lips. I didn't know it was me who he wanted to cry with, and I didn't know it was me who he wanted to hold onto. I didn't know. But then again there is a lot of things I don't know.

If you have any suggestions, or any thoughts, or questions, just tell me. I would really like to know what people think about this chapter, and what your guesses might be on Edward's thoughts or something. Either way it would be nice if you review, because to be honest, the only reason I keep posting this up is because of the reviews that people still actually want to keep reading it. So thanks guys, let's keep it up. lol.