disclaimer: awww, not being a billionaire sucks.

notes: yeah, okay, I admit it. I'm excited for school.

some assembly required

Her work schedule was seriously messed up right now. Tsunade had booked her off for a couple days for some weird garden party/dinner thing she was going to at one of her rich friends' houses. Sakura had no idea why she had to go but apparently she didn't have a choice. And you don't argue with Auntie Tsunade if you value your life.

So instead of being at work helping save people she was lying on the couch of her new apartment staring blankly at the TV. And it wasn't even on. This was how pathetic her life was. She could feel her cell phone wedged against her stomach between her and the couch. It had already rung about six times but she was too lazy to answer it.

SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK. SAK.

It was Karin…again. Karin had recorded a special ringtone just for her ( Karin shouting her name over and over again) and now it was starting to get on Sakura's nerves.

"Would you just pick up the fucking phone already!" Sasuke shouted from his room. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was on her last nerve.

"Don't you have a job to go to?" she yelled back, digging her phone out. "What, Karin?"

"I'm coming over with a little housewarming prezzie," Karin said. Sakura knew she was grinning. You could just tell with Karin. And when Karin grinned it was never good.

"I await your arrival with complete and utter dread." Sakura intoned.

"As you should."

"Aren't you a little late though? I have been living here for almost a month." Sakura reminded her, sitting up. Someone was knocking and it wasn't Karin. Karin didn't knock. She just busted right in.

"SO? There is never a bad time to give gifts. And besides, now you have to buy me an extra Christmas prezzie."

"Of course you have an ulterior motive. Why am I not surprised?" Sakura sighed and rolled off the couch. "I gotta get the door because fatass Sasuke can't be bothered."

"I heard that." He called.

"Good! Maybe you'll get some exercises then!" she shouted back, "Gotta go." She said to Karin and hung up. She stood on tip toe to peer through the peep hole and her eyebrows shot up her forehead. Why was Mr. Tall Dark and Gorgeous knocking on her door?

"Hello?" she said. Mr. TDG had longish black hair that he kept tied back and he was wearing a black suit, black shirt and black tie, paired with a black coat, black gloves, black shoes and a red scarf. He held his hand out to shake hers.

"Hello. My name is Itachi Uchiha. Is Sasuke at home?"

"Um," Sakura shook his hand dumbly. Wow. Wowzeewow and whoa. That was all she could think.

"What the fuck do you want, bastard?" Sasuke growled at her shoulder. She squealed and jumped.

"Don't you make noise when you walk?" she snapped.

"No. What the fuck do you want?" Sasuke asked Itachi. Sakura felt incredibly tiny standing in between these two very tall very manly men. It was kind of nice actually.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked, just because the silent tension was killing her and she thought she might pee herself if the dynamic didn't change soon.

"Why, yes. Thank you. How very polite and well-mannered your new roommate is, Sasuke," Itachi commented, stepping inside. Sakura closed the door. Sasuke snorted and walked off and Itachi followed him.

"You never answered my question." Sasuke pointed out, ignoring his comment about Sakura.

"I am merely a messenger today. Moth-"

"SAK! I BROUGHT PREZZIES!" Karin burst in with her usual lack of decorum. She spotted Sasuke and Itachi and halted. "Oh, ew. If you had told me the Terrible Two were going to be here I would have met you in the park or something."

"Karin," Itachi and Sasuke both glared warningly. Sakura snorted.

"I'm sorry, the Terrible Two? I figured you and Itachi were related, same last name and all, but how do you know Sasuke?"

"Oh! I totally forgot to tell you because he moved to Oto for like years, but Sasuke is my older brother as well!" Karin said cheerily.

"Okay, well. You three have fun. I have to go somewhere else now." Sakura said.

"Why?" the Terrible Two plus Karin asked.

"Hell no am I staying in the same room as this gene pool. I have a certain level of self-confidence to maintain."

At this point Karin totally ignored Sakura and kept talking. "I was going to bring Tenten and Hinata by as well, but Tenten mentioned something about a tournament and Hinata had to take over a dance class for Kurenai so it's just me since Ino's spending the day with her boyfriend, Kib-" at this point Sasuke coughed loudly.

"So why the fuck are you two here anyway?" he asked.

"I came to deliver a message from Mother." Itachi said.

"I came to see my friend. Do you have a problem with that, Sasu-face?" Karin stuck her hands on her hips and glared. Sakura snorted again. Sasu-face? Really? Niiiiiice.

"I'll show you my room, Karin and we can get lunch or something. I have the weekend off," Sakura said, taking her friend by the arm and leading her away. She had a feeling this would relieve the Terrible Two greatly. And as she closed her bedroom door she could have sworn she heard two sighs of relief. She couldn't blame them; dealing with Karin took a lot of stamina or a lot of pig headedness.

"So why are you here?" Sasuke asked again, throwing himself onto the couch.

"I already told you,"Itachi said, "I'm delivering a message."

"So deliver it and get out."

"There's no call for rudeness," Itachi pursed his lips before continuing." Mother requires your presence at her greenhouse garden party this weekend. Father has already given you the time off, so you'll have plenty of time to show up."

"And if I don't show up?" Sasuke asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"I shudder to think what Mother would do to you," Itachi said. Sasuke nodded. He shuddered to think that too.

"Your new roommate," Itachi said after a pause. "She isn't quite what I expected."

"I knew you had another reason for coming over here." Sasuke growled. Naruto really had to learn to keep his mouth shut. His father would be stopping by soon and that was unacceptable. "What were you expecting?"

"A messy apartment and a rude welcome," Itachi said. He smirked. "She's rather pretty."

"Get out you fucker." Sasuke threw a pillow at him. He would have punched him but dealing with Karin, even for a few minutes, exhausted him. Itachi smirked and threw the pillow back.

"See you Sunday, little brother." He said.

Karin was perched on Sakura's bed looking at her with narrowed eyes through her glasses. She was the only on in her family who wore them. Itachi and Uncle Madara needed them but refused to wear them. She had no idea why, because, seriously, glasses were sexy. But for whatever reason they refused to even go see an eye doctor. She rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at Sakura.

"So?" she asked. Sakura looked at her.

"No." she said. "No, no and definitely not."

"Why?" Karin asked her. She pushed a bit of a whiney tone into her voice. Sakura could never resist her for long.

"Because I don't want to look like a slut."

"Oh please." Karin snorted she had seen Sakura at clubs. "No one is going to see it." She added.

"I'll know it's there and it will drive me nuts!" Sakura kicked the box under her bed. Karin pulled it out and dropped it on top of the covers.

"I still don't see what's wrong with it." She said staring at the gift she had given Sakura.

"That's because it's something you would wear." Sakura said pointedly.

"No it isn't. I would have gone with something with much less fabric." Karin reached down and picked up the soft, satiny fabric and held it up. "What is so wrong with showing off a little?"

"Because it's a garden party at your house and your entire family will be there? I refuse to meet your mother looking like a tramp." Sakura said primly. Karin looked down at the dress in her hands. Okay, so maybe it wasn't really garden party material, but come on! This girl was so frumpy sometimes!

"Fine. But if you do not wear this to your hospital gala thing I will personally burn your wardrobe down so that you have no choice."

"Thank you. I'll think about it. As long as I don't have to impress any corperate people. And for the garden party thing I was thinking, maybe I should just not go. I mean, I'd only know you and aunty there."

"Not true." Karin refolded the dress and plopped it back in the box. "You'll know Hinata, because her family is always invited and I managed to convince her to show and you'd know Tenten as well." She conveniently forgot to mention Ino would be there with her boyfriend.

"Tenten?" Sakura sked. "How did she manage to get an invitation?"

"I think she's going with Hinata's cousin, Niji or Negi or something." Karin said, offhand.

"Since when did Tenten have dates to anything?" Sakura asked. "She made a vow to hate all men after the Shino debacle, remember?"

"Didn't last long. Apparently she likes sex." Karin smirked. "Who knew she was such a slut?"

"Well tomorrow we are going to have to find out how our mad gym teacher managed to get a boyfriend before you did. Or me."

"We know why you don't have a boyfriend, Sak." Karin said. "It's because you're married to your job and no one wants to date a girl who can't stay awake during sex."

Ouch. Sakura flinched. Karin was not one to pull her punches but that was just downright bitchy. Not that she was surprised.

"Yeah, well at least I have a job." She muttered. Karin snorted.

"I do have a job."

"Yeah, at the strip club." Sakura shoved the box with the dress under the bed again. "I still don't get how you dad, head of a billion dollar private security organization doesn't know that."

"A private investigator he is not. And I told Itachi and he vouched for me with daddy. If Sasuke ever found out however…" Karin shivered. Sakura raised an eyebrow and poked her head out of the room to check that he wasn't listening. he was lying face down on the couch again.

"Yeah, let's keep that to ourselves, shall we?"

"Mhm." Karin said. She reached under the bed and dropped the dress on the bed again. "Here's your other gift. It matches the dress." She plonked another box on the bed. Her purse was a bottomless pit. "I gotta book. I have to get a few hours of sleep before I pull the night shift. See you Sunday, my little flower!" she sang and waltzed out. Sakura flopped back on the bed and stared at the boxes. All she really wanted to do was sleep now. Karin literally sucked the energy out of her.

All he was doing was sitting and trying to avoid being noticed. Sure it was his house and his garden party (in a greenhouse) but that didn't mean he had to socialize. When she saw his mother coming he leapt up and ducked around the corner. If she found him she would make him mingle and that was not happening. He was tired, his whole body was aching and he really wished they were serving alcohol at this thing.

"Tsunade, I swear, she is a spitting image of Kyoko! I would have thought she was the same person if it wasn't for her eyes!" his mother, Mikoto said.

"Yes, she does have a striking similarity to her mother. But she's got her father's brains, that's for sure." Tsunade was a tall blonde woman. He recognized her from the hospital. He shook his head and ducked out of sight again when Karin went barrelling around the corner with her loud, obnoxious blonde friend. He couldn't understand why Kiba was dating her. Or living with her. Because she annoyed the fuck out of him.

"Teme!"

"Oh god."

"Teme, why are you hiding?" Naruto asked.

"Would you shut up? I'm avoiding my mom." Sasuke hissed.

"Why?" Naruto asked. He couldn't be bothered to whisper. It was stupid.

"Because if she sees me she's going to make me listen to people talk."

"Oh, right. And you can't do that because you're too important to hear about the daily lives of normal people." Naruto snorted.

"Shut up, asshole." Sasuke glared. Naruto always teased him about his inability to adapt to social situations. It had earned him a sort of bad boy mystique in high school but that didn't stop his father from losing his cool and yelling at him or his mother from gently pushing him into situations like this in hopes that he's magically fix himself. It wasn't like he didn't have social skills, he just didn't know how to use them. He was a bit jealous of Naruto, who never had a problem with interacting with people.

"Naruto?" a familiar voice spoke. "Why are you teasing a potted plant?"

"Sakura-chan!" Nartuo spun around and hugged her. "I didn't know you were going to be here!"

"Yeah, I came with my aunt. My mom and my aunt and Mrs. Uchiha were high school friends." Sakura said. "But that still doesn't explain the potted plant."

"Sasuke-teme is hiding because he doesn't like people." Naruto said. Sasuke groaned.

"Well clearly he does like people or he wouldn't be living with us." Sakura pointed out. Sasuke was actually grateful she was there. Which surprised him, because he could barely stand living with Naruto as it was and they were best friends. "Well, I only know, like three other people here, so you two officially have the task of making me feel less awkward." She cocked her head to the side and smiled at Sasuke, who was leaning in an alcove just behind a potted plant. "That should keep you mom off your back."

Sasuke didn't even have time to respond before she grabbed his arm and looped it with hers. He wondered briefly how much she had overheard and then got distracted by the approach of Neji's uncle. Oh balls.

Sakura took a moment to check Sasuke out. Because seriously, this boy was one sexy mofo. He was just standing there in his shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his nice, sexy dark wash jeans (ohmygod) and she could feel the muscle on his forearm because she was currently digging her fingers into his flesh. Hinata's dad always freaked her out, but he was in top form today. God, she so didn't want to die under his x-ray stare!

"So, Sakura-san," Hiashi said. Balls. "How are things at the hospital?"

"Things…at the hospital," Sakura said slowly. She couldn't remember if there was something special to say here or not…Tsunade had mentioned something…it was on the tip of her tongue. She improvised, "Are good. I could do with a few less hours, but someone's got to do the paperwork!"

Hiashi smiled dryly at her lame joke. Hinata come and save me! But she knew it wouldn't happen, because Hinata avoided her father at all costs. And there was no way she was going to resort to silently begging for prima donna Hanabi to come to her rescue. She had her pride, thanks.

"So how have you been, Hyuuga-san?" she asked weakly. Did the guy know he terrified everyone in a twenty foot radius?

"I have been well. Please inform your Aunt that I will be at the hospital for my regular appointment and that I apologize for last weeks' mishap." He said stiffly. Sakura barely had time to agree before he turned and walked away.

"What am I, you're messenger? I don't think so." She muttered.

"Hiashi is a regular at the hospital?" Sasuke asked. He and Naruto were staring at her intently. Sakura narrowed her eyes. She knew that look; it was the look Karin and Ino wore every time she got back from a date in high school and college. It was the Shameless Gossip look. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Yeah," she said. She had learned it was wiser not to resist. "He's getting prepped for surgery and he missed his appointment last week because of an emergency. And before you ask, he's having surgery on his knee. Apparently he threw it out sparring with Hinata's cousin." She snorted. It was his own fault, but she heard from Tenten that he tortured his nephew for the whole week he was house bound. That man needed an attitude adjustment.

"That old man threw out his knee sparring with Neji?" Naruto asked. He sounded rather impressed.

"Wait, Neji?" Sakura asked. She had endured another weekend of videogames and swearing until four am and she didn't like it. The stoic Hyuuga was always present and she didn't have a very good opinion of him. "Neji is Hiashi's nephew?"

Sasuke nodded and un-looped their arms.

"No fucking way!" Sakura giggled. She looked across the greenhouse room at Neji and spotted Tenten lurking with Karin a few feet away whispering. "No. Way. I can't believe she didn't tell me. Bitch."

"What?" Sasuke asked, handing her a drink. He was looking behind them and rolling his eyes.

"Sup, bitches!" Karin crowed. She had abandon Tenten to Hiashi's glare and Hanabi's attitude.

"Shh, Karin. Sakura was about to tell us about something very secret and important." Naruto said.

"OOOOH! We're gossiping? All right, spill it, Pinky."

"Thanks." She said to Sasuke. "And shut up." She said to Karin. "The brunette over there? Yeah, she's one of my best friends and a totally insane Phys Ed teacher at Suna high. She's been dating-"

"Would you call it dating?" Karin interjected.

"What would you call it?" she asked.

"Fucking." Karin helped herself to Sakura's drink. She jerked it away and kept going.

"She's been, uh, hooking up with Hiashi's nephew for, what is it?" she asked Karin, "A year?" Karin nodded and munched on an olive. "Do you know that your brother's friend, Neji, the stiffest man alive (TWSS!), and I don't mean it like that Karin, is that nephew?"

"Oh. My. Fucking. God." Karin dropped her olive on the ground. "You are screwing with me, Haruno. You are screwing with me because there is no way that Tenten, our Tenten, the fucking scariest bat-shit crazy girl alive is banging that. No way."

"Way." Sakura said simply. She sipped her drink. How did Sasuke know she loved cranberry juice with crushed ice? Or maybe it was just a random drink he grabbed…she was getting paranoid.

Sasuke un-looped his arm from his weird female roommates' but didn't leave, because, honestly, he liked talking to her. Even if he didn't do much of the talking. He saw his mother glare at him so to compensate for 'being rude' he grabbed her a drink. Cranberry juice with crushed ice. It was the only thing she ever drank. And she would drink it all day if she could. He handed it to her and stepped neatly out of the way as his sister barrelled in. It was a sixth sense he and Itachi developed as soon as Karin could walk. Because his sister was a natural disaster. Then the dirt on Neji started to spill. He smirked at Naruto. No way was Hyuuga living this down. Not ever. A gym teacher? Really? Wow. Although, he had to admit, the gym teacher was very good looking and very fit. He also took note that Hyuuga and the gym teacher disappeared for a very long time. When they finally reappeared, near the end of the event, the both looked rather ruffled.

Sakura spotted Tenten and her sort-of-kind-of-boyfriend reemerging from the house looking ruffled but please with themselves. She snorted and looked at Karin who licked her lips and smirked. There was a terrifyingly evil look in her eye. Sakura raised an eyebrow at her and pondered for a moment. Was it worth risking Karin's wrath to warn Tenten of the Karin Assult that was coming her way? Nope, not at all.

extras: so, hello, hello. I got a new phone, boo yah. Thank you, thank you. Yes indeed, it's a fine day today, mostly because I have a free tomorrow morning and in the middle of the day too. So I only have two classes. Hell yeah. Rate, comment, review, read. Kpce.

review responses:

wingedmercury: hahaha! Awwwwe, thanks for being so excited about an update! Ummm, there will be moments…possibly in the next couple chapters…I am just trying to survive my classes right now as well (so not excited for school anymore). My updateage will be very sporadic now that I have to actually go to class, learn, not fail etc. but bear with me! I am determined to finish this. Because I actually like what I'm doing here.

AkisWonderland: why thank you very much. I hope you also enjoyed this chapter. I think the closeness will happen soon. Have no fear! All in good time, all in good time.

MYinnnerNinja: ah, Ino. I feel kind of bad, making her evil. But there's going to be a bit where she becomes a good friend again. And Karin and Tenten are my favourite! I should add Hinata to this as well…Naruto is getting lonely.

SasuSaku Forever and Ever: YES! I was kind of thinking my summary was too random. HAHA! I like Ino and Karin when they are not trying to get Sasuke away from Sakura. So that's why they are not (mostly) horrible in this story. Everyone needs to have a couple mad wingwomen, right? THANK YOU for laughing! Milkshakes…now I want one. Gonna go buy one…as soon as I learn how to drive…And Suigetsu makes my life. Because if I were a dude that is exactly what I would say.

acidicvanity: Sakura is such a bad ass. And Sasuke is adorable. He really is. All the time. Like a mean puppy. Keep reading and I shall keep updating, promise!

Saiyuri Haruno: that's what she said is contagious. Chicks before dicks is right. made a girl-pact with my friends. Ino should do the same. And kakashi+handcuffs= fuck yes.

Skiffle-Rose: oh thank you! I am excited that you're excited! And updating will happen…just not on a regular basis…because I have school…and driving lessons…and possibly a job…if I ever get around to applying…

lanago59: thank you for loving my summary! I try : ) HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER! Seriously though, your reviews (which are awesome) actually made me start writing the next chapter for this. And it turns out, I'm almost done that one too now. So thanks. You're awesome.