A/N: Oh my... An update... Run for your lives he world is about to end! I may have accidentally turned up for work an hour and a half early and therefore decided to get some writing done whilst I waited to start my shift. Go me! So yeah love to everyone who has reviewed you guys are all awesome!

Warnings: Um... none for this chapter except some foul language. My, Iruka has such a potty mouth lol!

Cops and Robbers:

Chapter Three: Enter Kakashi Hatake, Pervert, Genius, Jackass!

The next morning Iruka woke unsurprisingly alone in his hotel room. His head was pounding like he'd been pummelled by Gai-sensei, his little doppleganger and Tsunade-sama all at the same time. His stomach was churning in the unpleasant way that meant he was probably going to lose what he'd managed to digest yesterday, which if he remembered rightly was nothing at all. Great... that meant he'd be spewing fucking bile all day just peachy. Cracking open a bloodshot eye Iruka instantly regretted it, the light pierced his skull with the intensity of one thousand laser beams and caused him to wince and have his eyes try and crawl back inside their own sockets.

"F...Fuck this shit."

He murmured as with the fortitude of an army he rolled himself of the bed onto shaky legs. Instantly the world tilted to the side and Iruka found himself once gain lying on the bed, face buried in the mattress. The brunette pulled himself up on to his elbows grimacing at just how weak he felt, when he spotted a small stain on the pristine sheet. and felt his face grow hot. Memories from the previous evening bombarded his mind and it was all Iruka could do to not bury his head into the pillows and scream.

Just what the fuck had he been thinking the previous night?

Apparently not much other than being a horny teenager. Groaning he rubbed his aching temples, this was why he didn't drink (well other than the council mandate forbidding it but once again that's another story) he turned into some insane, hormone fuelled, mindless rebel.

But man it had been fun and the sex had been very very good.

Flipping himself on his back Iruka stared up at the white ceiling and wondered what his bedfellow was up to right now. Probably nursing his own hangover and thinking about the mind-blowing sex he'd had the night before. At least the silver-haired man had had the courtesy to clean them both off before apparently just fucking off to his own life. The brunette couldn't explain why but the thought hurt somehow, they'd both just been using one another as an outlet so he couldn't understand why it bothered him. Maybe it was the residual effects of the alcohol, it always made him a tad more emotional than normal.

Once again deciding that moving was probably a good idea the sensei slowly raised himself into a sitting position, the cool morning air caressing his skin.

It was then that he saw it.

On the bedside cabinet was a folded note, confusion crossing his face the brunette picked it up allowing something to fall from inside the crease. Ignoring the discarded pieces of card Iruka unfolded the note and scanned the contents.

'Hey there lover boy,

Really enjoyed our night together. Who knew such a mild looking guy was such a beast in bed. Those memories are gonna keep me warm for a while, along with my little keepsakes. Maybe next time we can take some Icha Icha inspiration. Hope you enjoy your presents, I know I will.

The note was left unsigned and Iruka frowned deeply. Presents? Had the man been talking about the scraps of card that fell from inside the note. Slowly he reached down and plucked the pieces of card off the floor, only to realise that they weren't card at all they were polaroid photographs. Flipping over the photo Iruka felt his blood freeze in his veins before exploding through him in a torrent of rage, his hangover seemingly forgotten he screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

"THAT FUCKING PERVERTED ASSHOLE HOW DARE HE TAKE NAKED PHOTO'S OF ME!"

Anger and adrenalin fuelling his system Iruka managed to shake of the worst of his hangover and get himself ready for his assignment. He dressed himself in his smartest civilian clothing, a charcoal coloured suit with a snug fitting white shirt. He wanted to make a good impression on the people he was going to be working with (deceiving), it left them less likely to believe that he was dangerous. It was a tactic he used all the time at home, playing the role of the unassuming teacher certainly had it's perks and meant people tended to underestimate him.

Which quite often meant their downfall.

Dressed with a few non-metallic weapons carefully concealed, dosed up on pain relief and raring for someone to just try something with him Iruka was ready for the off. He exited the hotel and quickly hailed a cab, the driver being a somewhat portly man in his early fifties. Iruka gave his destination and listened listlessly as the man droned on about how the 'city wasn't like it used to be' and the 'fucking bankers bankrupting society.' Eventually they came to a halt outside a large office building, 'Metropolitan Police' emblazoned across the front entrance. Paying the driver the brunette stepped out and brushed himself down, pulling a pair of reading glasses from his inside jacket pocket. They were fakes of course Iruka's eyesight was 20/20 but he often found they helped with the illusion he was trying to create. Taking a deep breath and attempting to relax himself a little he stepped through the revolving doors.

Inside the reception was clean cut and well maintained, the decorative sparkle of the granite adding an air of luxury. The brunette moved forward through the crowd of people milling about the area and made a beeline for the front desk. As he approached he adjusted his glasses in a seemingly nervous gesture and gave a small smile to the woman sat behind the desk. The woman who wasn't much older than he was flushed brightly and quickly ended the phone call she was engaged in.

"Hello there welcome to the metropolitan police head office. How can I help you today?"

"Ah yes, I was meant to be here yesterday but my escort didn't show up. My name is Iruka Umino I'm here to meet with the special crimes squad."

The receptionists brow furrowed as she furiously typed random amounts of information into her computer, after finding what she was looking for a frown crossed her features. She then proceeded to pick up the phone and rather angrily punch numbers into the panel. There was a few seconds of waiting and then...

"Special crimes squad, Wilson speaking."

"Hey Nikki, would you like to tell me just what exactly your boss is playing at?"

The receptionist frown deepened and her eyes narrowed dangerously, Iruka felt himself shudder but still held no sympathy for whoever this 'boss' was. They had after all completely forgotten about him and the fact that he was a foreigner in this country, therefore completely lost in the maze that was London.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I have an Iruka Umino down here who that idiot was supposed to escort yesterday and forgot about."

There was a choked sound of indignation down the receiver and when this 'Nikki' replied she sounded angry.

"He did what! That utter moron I'm going to kill him. Please apologise to Mr Umino and I'll be down in a minute with the boss, so he can apologise properly."

"Okay I'll see you both in a few."

Iruka chuckled under his breath feeling a perverse sense of accomplishment, the receptionist smiled sweetly and replaced the phone receiver.

"Ah... they'll be down in a moment."

"Thank you very much for your help."

The brunette smiled shyly causing the receptionist to blush and look away. Patiently he waited for his escorts to arrive and took in his surroundings. The ninja in him frowned deeply, just from this area he could already spot several points of weakness in the buildings defences. Honestly one should always be prepared for attack even in a time of relative peace, something Iruka had certainly learned from experience. Across the lobby the lift dinged signalling the arrival of his escorts, the doors slid open and out stepped a woman. She was tall and slim with cropped blonde hair and intelligent eyes. She was suited and booted in a smart black trouser suit that clung to her minimal curves and gave her a serious, professional look.

"Goddamn it Hatake get your backside out here now."

"Maa... Wilson, I don't see the point of greeting some foreign national who just happens to be 'helping' us on a case we don't need help on."

"We are not greeting him. You are apologising for ditching him at the airport yesterday."

"I told you I was busy, not my fault you didn't arrange a replacement."

Wilson glared, her eyes glinting with menace. "There was no choice in the matter, it's part of your job description and you know it. And what were you busy with out getting drunk and screwing anything that moves again."

"So what if I was."

Utterly agrivated her right arm shot back into the lift and she dragged out the reluctant man.

A somewhat familiar looking man.

Iruka's eyes went wide as he observed the unlucky (but justified) recipient of the woman wrath. Even though the lower half of his face was covered there was no mistaking that hair or those eyes. Suddenly all the anger he'd been feeling earlier in the morning resurfaced and as the other man caught his eye he saw the shock in the mis-matched orbs.

Along with a healthy dose of fear.

"You!" Iruka roared and stomped toward the duo.

Wilson's eyes went wide as she took in the furious man moving toward her and subconscious moved her hand toward her gun holster. Beside her Hatake tensed and a distinct air of unease surrounded him. The brunette came face to face with the silver haired man and grabbed him by the collar, shaking him madly and hissing venomously in his ear.

"You perverted asshat! What the hell do you think you're playing at! You leave me hungover to hell with your 'presents' and upon meeting you again you expect me not to want to skin you alive."

Iruka's voice was low so that only the other man and his female aid could hear and was tinted was a smooth, dangerous lilt. Sensing that the brunette wasn't trying to kill her at the very least she dropped her hand to the side and watched the chaos unfold.

"Then I find out you're responsible for a large percent of my fucking shitty day yesterday, which doen't endear you to my graces at all."

The silver haired man had gone slightly green and was gaping like a dying fish. Well that's what Iruka assumed, he couldn't really make out much of an expression under the surgical mask the man was wearing.

"Um... Well... You see..."

With a ruthless smile Iruka waved the other man off "It's a good job I'm such a professional, it doesn't do well to injure your co-workers."

Wilson smirked knowing the show was over and extended her hand to the brunette.

"DI Nikki Wilson, nice to meet you. This idiot is DCI Kakashi Hatake, Leader of the special crimes squad."

Iruka took the pro-offered hand and shook it heartily.

"Iruka Umino, escapoligst and young offender specialist, at your service."

"Good to have you here Umino, I have a feeling you'll fit in just fine."

~End Chapter Three~

A/N: Booyah finished! Can't believe I was that moronic *eye roll* I know Kakashi was kinda goofy in this chapter but he'll show his true colours in chapters to come. I just enjoyed the opportunity to write him as the clown, I don't do it all that often ^_^.