On An Island

Chapter Four

Chapter Four: Away From Me

The rain pounded down harder than either of them had ever felt it before. Kate usually enjoyed the rain, but not when it prevented her for seeing, and when it came down so hard it stung against her throat. Even though the rainstorm was all but near closer, the humidity was already building up, and Kate contemplated shedding her over-shirt jacket as they made their way to where they believed the cockpit was, but that would mean carrying it all the way. She supposed she could've always stopped and put in in her bag, but with the uncomfortable tension between her and Jack, Kate was afraid to mention anything about resting, though they could've both used it. It's not such a big deal anyway, Kate tried to convince herself. Ahead of her Jack walked on, using a long limb he found as a walking stick to support him. Every now and then he would wince in pain as the slope grew steeper, but he never once stopped. One thing, she knew, was on his mind. Rescue. Getting away from her.

Grimacing, Kate remembered Jack's hurt and confused reaction to the murder. The way he grabbed the gun from her and took it apart. The way he scolded her; the obvious disappointment in his eyes. But in the end he had still buried the marshal. She was almost mad at him for it, like the man didn't deserved to be buried. Like her newest crime was nothing. It wasn't as if she was a cold-blooded killer, because she wasn't- even if law claimed it. But the marshal..she shivered at the thought. He deserved it, she told herself, and that's that.

"It should be right up here," Jack called, over the way.

She didn't question how Jack knew that nor the sudden way he was speaking to her. They hadn't talked the entire journey. But sure enough, only a few yards ahead was a small clearing, and as they crept around the trees they could see the cockpit come into view. Kate didn't know what she had expected, but it wasn't this. The way the part of the plane was balanced in the trees, the back end evenly ripped off, leaving seats dangly out on hinges, made it looked like King Kong took it and slung it into the jungle. After whatever sound it was they heard the other night, she actually wouldn't of been that surprised.

Jack was the first to step towards the wreckage. Eager not to be left behind, Kate quickly followed, appearing beside him as Jack peered into the cockpit.

"You don't have to go up there," he told her, his voice flat. She couldn't help but to wonder if he would've been more reassuring had her anger not struck out like a bullet. Literally.

"I'm going," Kate announced, matching his tone.

Sighing, Jack placed his hands on either side of the walls that should've appeared more fragile in thought after such a wreck. Suddenly, in a horrific vision, Kate pictured Jack hoisting himself into the cockpit, adding on his weight, resulting in the cockpit tipping, moving forward..crushing him. Killing him.

"Maybe I should go first," Kate said as suddenly as the thought that came to her.

Jack shook his head in protest, not bothering to look at her in reassurance that he'd be alright. The lack of that assurance was beginning to make Kate angry. Though sympathy and soothing words wasn't something she enjoyed admitting needing, she'd grown used to it after their first day on the island.

"I've got it," Jack said, placing his hand in front of her to prove her point.

His voice spoke of confidence, but Kate couldn't see how anyone could be so confident about going into such a place. Unless they were putting on an act for someone else. The thought relieved Kate a little, but still she protested.

"I'm lighter," she pointed out, "climbing's like..my life."

That much, at least, wasn't a lie. Memories came in clips as Kate smiled sadly, images of her miniature self racing Tom to the top of a tree, laughing..happy. Later on in life those experiences would come in handy in more ways than she could've ever imagine. Escaping bank robberies. Bad guys. The real bad guys. Some molecule of reality reminded her to come back, that reveries weren't allowed in situations like this. But at the same time, she couldn't help but to wonder what Jack was thinking. Was he awaiting rescue like a ticket into heaven, depending on it like a lottery number? Of course he was. He probably had family back at home. A job that needed him. Kids, even. A life worth being rescued for. Not jail. Not a scheduled life of an hour of sun a day. If she was lucky. She couldn't live like that, so controlled. Locked up with no negotiation. Unfairness beyond a humane limit.

The thought almost wanted to make Kate turn around and run.

Always running..

"I've got it," Jack insisted, already lifting himself up into the cockpit.

The plane part squeaked in protest to the new weight, and Kate closed her eyes, ready for the screams. But they never came. Opening them again, Kate saw that Jack was safely inside. Despite her wavering anger, Kate felt herself sigh in relief.

"It looks clear," Jack called to her. For a split second she wondered if an echoing voice would mean anything against the cockpit's balance. "Well, not clear, but.." he trailed off, and from the sound of it Kate knew he was still looking around, double checking. For him or for her? "You know what I mean."

She'd rather not think about it. Clear meaning there were no risk of a sudden attack, no one alive to lash out at them? Clear meaning everyone inside was dead? Suddenly Jack's hand fell into the air in front of her, and with struggling strength, Kate let him pull her up. Rain forced her to slip, as though it were refusing her help. At last she was able to clutch onto his arm, tightening her fingers around his muscles. He pulled her up, seeming effortless despite his back wound. Once she was in the cockpit Kate grabbed onto the closest thing that would help her move to the front, which was angled impossibly in the trees, almost sticking straight in the air like an arrow. As she trudged through the wreckage she tried not to look at the bodies laying around- some literally laying- and it looked as though Jack were walking with his eyes closed ahead of her. The smell was unreal, and Kate was sure any moment she would get sick. Rain pounded outside, and the further she traveled from it, the more tempting the smell became. Ahead of her Jack was already bashing through the main cockpit door, still sealed shut despite the impact of the crash. As soon as the door was thrown open, a body spilled out and Kate gasped more loudly than she would've like. Jack was already inside, examining the radio equipment.

"None of it's intact," Jack informed her, discouraged.

"Did you expect it to be?" Kate asked as she looked around the small room.

Jack didn't answer her.

"The transceiver should be over here," Jack said, talking more to himself than Kate.

Scooting over to where the pilot lay dead, Jack purposefully avoid looking at the body as he reached around the chair in search of the transceiver. Kate was just inquiring the unscathed post-crash windows when the yelp came, and Jack gasped so loudly in surprise she thought'd his throat closed in.

Despite being the fugitive on the plane, Kate hadn't met the pilot, so she assumed he was a trusting man. After all, the marshal himself was rather rough with her, and to any onlookers that would mean an apparently rough criminal. Little did they know..

She went over what the pilot told her in her mind, all about being a thousand miles off course..being looked for in the wrong place. Vaguely she listened as Jack told him they were the only survivors, and the sick tension could've been sliced through, chopped up into pitiness. That was when the roar came. The pilot was confused, but Jack and Kate were transfixed, horrified by this..monster's..return. Scrambling over the pilot, Jack backed himself away from the window, pressing himself against the wall, as if in a safety drill. Somehow Kate found herself against him, Jack's arms suddenly holding her protectively. She wondered if he realized what he was doing.

(space)

The rain welcomed her as they scrambled out of the cockpit, ready to run for her life. Suddenly, she wasn't too much of a fan of it. Slipping and sliding as they struggled to maintain their balance, Jack and Kate ran away from the cockpit, scurrying like animals for their lives. Soon all Kate could see ahead over her was rain and a blur of jungle, and it wasn't until she was safely hidden away by a grove that she realized she lost Jack. Shaking in the cold rain, the realization came over her hauntingly, as if all hope were already lost. She clung to the bar of the grove, feeling uncomfortably trapped. In that moment she hated herself. What if that thing got him? Whatever it was..her mind winced as she remembered blood spluttering on the plane's windows. She wished she hadn't of accused realism for not wrecking the glass bad enough..

Moments passed and Jack never came. She half expected him to run by, panic in search for her. But he never did. He never even screamed, hoping to find her voice. The thought made her angry, but at the same time desperate. Solitary seemed like the most painful idea, looming over her like a dark storm-cloud. As she shook became more fearful by the moment, even more so when she realized how afraid she was.

"And I closed my eyes, and let the fear take me, but only for five seconds."

Jack's words rang in her mind, and the memory made him feel closer. Anything felt better than feeling so trapped, so alone..and Kate prayed that using Jack's tactic would work. So shivering and gripping the rain-drenched bars of the groves tightly, as though trying to break free, Kate shook with the memory, forcing the numbers out along with Jack's voice:

One..

Two..

Three..

Why was she suddenly so dependent on Jack? It infuriated her, to think she needed- wanted- someone so much, especially someone of whom didn't even appear to want her. Not anymore. Because he found out who she really was, and that was only a slash of the truth. What about when he found out about what she did? Maybe I should shut up, give up..

But still something pushed her on.

Four..

Five..

(space)

As the rain died down Kate stumbled into the jungle, desperately trying to free herself of tears. She wasn't going to break down over this, she wouldn't let it. Though still fearful because she hadn't found- or heard- Jack, the fresh air felt good and relieving compared to the grove's cramped space. Arm over her face, Kate was determined not to be sick as she wondered through the trail, feeling incredibly alone. Noticing a mud-dyed puddle ahead, Kate felt herself move mechanically towards it, hoping there'd be some kind of track nearby.

One that could possibly lead to Jack's body..dead and tangle..

She didn't know how she managed to stay intune to her hope, but later on she would realize that as she approach the puddle, it was almost as though erie forshadowment lay within it, starting with the wings- pilot's wings- floating in the muggy water. But they looked more like World War Two versions of wings..the theory immediately left her when she noticed an image floating in the water as well, a strange, disoriented, dream-like picture. Looking above her, Kate stepped back into the puddle in shock and sickness at what she saw in the trees.

"It's the pilot."

Kate nearly dropped, becoming just another picture in the muggy water, at the sound of Jack's voice. She almost smiled, despite the unreal horror above her. As she approached him she contemplated hugging him, despite the muddy conditions they were both in.

"We should get back," Jack announced, ruining any plan Kate had, "I think I can fix the transceiver."

She tried not to show her hurt. Part of her, the small fraction of her who still wanted to be that girl with the crush, suggested that maybe Jack didn't want to seem hypocritical.

"That's good," Kate forced herself to say.

Jack glanced around the pilot to the higher ground. A sinking feeling in her stomach told Kate what he wanted to do. She made herself watch as he planned his route to the top, if not to avoid having to look at the pilot. The man who was just talking to them..so disappointed in such few survivors. Suddenly Kate supported Jack's would-be plan. She almost wanted to get rescued just to prove fate wrong.

"I think I can fix it soon," Jack said confidently, "if you want to save a trip. Kill two birds with one stone."

She shuddered at the word "kill", but luckily Jack didn't catch it. What did she want? She wondered. Forgiveness? An understanding" It was almost like she was wanting to impress him, showing him that she wasn't all so bad. Yeah, an understanding. The thought felt relieving, though in the back of her mind, she knew it was impossible. No one would ever understand..

Soon she found herself on the way to the peak of the island, watching the trail as Jack fiddled with the transceiver. They didn't talk, didn't share theories about what just happened. Like it never did. She supposed Jack was dealing with it in his own way, possibly telling himself he was dreaming things. Part of Kate secretly hoped that wasn't true. But all this thinking was making her guilty, because she hadn't once made a move to explain herself. Then again, he'd hardly given her a chance.

"So when were you planning on talking, Jack?" Kate spoke up after their climb to higher ground. He helped her up on the more rough climbing. She accepted it, though she could've done the task herself.

Jack didn't respond, and a small smile escaped from the corners of her lips.

"The silent treatment," she went on lightly, "how mature."

"Mature," Jack snorted disbelievingly with a shake of his head.

The comment left Kate wounded, and she didn't dare go on any further. She wondered what he thought of her. It was almost insulted to think of after all they had been through that first day, all they had survived, that he would imagine her as a cold-blooded killer. After all, he was still alive to have that option in mind.

"We all have our secrets, Jack." Kate commented, feeling the need to defend herself.

She didn't expect Jack to respond like he did.

"Yeah," Jack shot, spinning around and continuing to walk backwards. Kate had to admire his skill. "Well at least mine doesn't have to be confessed in murder!"

Grimacing, Kate reminded herself that there was no way Jack could know the truth about her. He's just trying to scare me. Intimidate me. The thought infuriated Kate, but after all, if Jack did think he was walking around with a ruthless murderer, he'd be trying to get the upper hand.

"You don't-"

His eyes buldged as they met hers, the sympathy and softness of them suddenly gone. Now she almost felt afraid of him. The weak feeling made Kate want to shiver; shake it off and regain her strength.

"You're a murderer, Kate," Jack accused coldly.

She was sure he never used that tone in his personal life, not with any friend, not with any woman. It seemed so out of place in his tone, in fact, that Kate found herself trapped in a whirlwind of memory. Her father yelling at her as a child, her mother's confussion as she left home, Tom dead in the car..the marshal questioning her about what happened.

"I'm innocent," Kate pleaded desperatly, voice trembling a little.

Jack stopped at her desperate tone. It was one they both knew she hardly used, only in the few moments of need, when she was at her breaking point. Her voice almost made him want to question her words, to demand how that was true, and she could see that in his eyes. It almost calmed her. But a soft crackling never gave them the chance.

Their eyes met and the argument was lost. Slowly they looked down at the transceiver in Jack's hands that crackled words back at them in an incoherent language. The world around them seemed to disappear, and the noise freeing itself from the instrument's tiny speakers began to tumble down on them. At last Kate let out the breath she had been holding.

"Can you speak French?" She asked quietly, recognizing the language from one of her overseas travels. Or rather, overseas escapes. But Jack didn't need to know that. She was terrified of what he would do if he found out the truth about her. At least now she had a little hope, but if he found out the truth, she assumed he'd immediately jumped to conclusions. No fair trial. No sympathy. No consideration.

Shaking his head, Jack said: "Can you?"

Kate returned the gesture, and a mutual failure frustrated them both.

"Maybe they'll still come," Jack said hopefully.

Suddenly Kate's throat felt dry. They'll still come. Rescue. Immediately she'd be taken, ripped from her new freedom. A freedom she'd have to be very careful of for the time being.

"Maybe," Kate forced herself to reply.

They let the voice keep playing. It was a woman's voice, a French woman, speaking more urgently than one would think a rescue team would.

"Something's wrong," Jack said suddenly, echoing both of their inner worries. Kate watched him as he concentrated hard on what they were hearing, finding herself anticipating his reply. Sweat trickled down her back in a pool of anxiety, but she fought to ignore it. It almost made herself feel dizzy to think of anything other than the voice on that radio. "It's playing in a loop."

Listening closely, Kate began to catch onto what he was saying. The woman would plead her words for a few sentences and then again.

"Any idea how long?" She asked anxiously.

Jack shook his head.

"I don't know how to do the math," Jack said, clearly frustrated with himself. She felt bad for him then, and was about to bring up that she didn't know either when the radio went dead. For a few moments they were each quiet, as if hoping silent patience would bring the voice back. But it never did. "It's dead."

(space)

The walk to the beach was even more quieter than the walk up the hill, if possible. For Jack it was a dead hope, while for Kate it was a secret relief. No rescue to worry about. But now..now they knew they'd be stuck here, and for God knew how long. She didn't want to be stuck in a silence with a man who thought the worst of her. It was too painful to imagine, not only in present, but with memories of the past as well. Closing her eyes, Kate murmured a few words of hope and encouragement in her mind before speaking up.

"There's something you need to understand," Kate began, her voice choking out in a whisper.

"I think I understand fine."

Kate closed her eyes again in a wince, tempted that somehow darkness would help her. When she opened them, Jack spun around so abruptly she almost stumbled back. A hand flew out from where it had been digging around in his backpack, producing a pair of..handcuffs.

She couldn't talk. Jack stared at her, waiting for Kate to say something, but she couldn't. The two circled cuffs that threatened more horror than anything were the last things she wanted to look at, but yet Kate couldn't take her eyes off them. She just looked down at them, defeated at first, but then in disbelieving acceptance. It was like they'd come back to haunt her.

"You don't understand," she forced herself to whisper, determined that if she kept repeating herself then Jack would give her some consideration. Some hope of that understanding she longed for.

"Then tell me what I don't understand."

But she couldn't do that either. Jack's hands shook a little as he held the cuffs in front of him, and as if he caught the weakness himself, he thrust them at Kate to relive himself the burden. The burden of her. The burden of her past that could come in and screw up his life. As if he were so perfect. And he probably was. Kate felt so alone, just wishing there were someone else there that could share her pain. That could at least understand it.

"At least one of us gets our luggage back," Jack snarled forcefully, thrusting the handcuffs into her arms.

He turned, storming down the path. As she stared down at the handcuffs, Kate's mind was so loaded of hurt, betrayal, memory, emotion, that she was actually able to blank out her mind for a moment, and focus souly on Jack. Upon meeting him so much hope lifted her spirits. They hadn't spent much time together, but it wasn't something she didn't enjoy. She came to admire his determination in his work, a personality trait most doctors possessed, but it seemed even more so with Jack. Even after all he'd been through with the crash. Still he wanted to save, even though it seemed like he should be mad at the world. But now..now she was seeing him in a whole different light. Closed-minded. Unforgiving. No shades of grey to be found. Little did he know, Kate was full of grey. That was one positive thought that always kept her going, yet Jack stripped her of it, making her feel more guilty than ever.

And she hoped he was happy.

(space)

That night Jack couldn't sleep. He thought he heard her creeping in the bushes, as if unsure when the right to sneak in was, but then it stopped. During that afternoon he cleaned up the remaining supplies left over from the failed attempt to save the marshal, and a pool of blood that he didn't know what to do with. All of that was still behind him now, as he had grown so frustrated that at sundown he gave up, collapsing in the sand. Now he stared out to sea, hoping for the calming relief of the waves. Kate seemed to find it there, but he couldn't. Then again, he wasn't Kate. He wasn't a murderer.

But you don't know her.

Jack closed his eyes, grimacing at the thought. It was true, but he didn't want to admit he was wrong. She had a mug-shot, after all, and she was damn good with that gun and its aim. Yet he still found himself regretting his harshness towards her. Kate was crashed here as well. She was probably scared, terrified, of what could happened to her, and he wasn't helping her one bit.

Sometime during his thoughts Jack managed to drift off to sleep. When he awoke the moon was shining somewhere above him, but Jack couldn't turn to look. He froze immediately, realizing he was trapped.

Because even the monster didn't entrap him like the boar standing over him was doing right now.

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews!

Until next time..

October Sky