I'm going to state this right away. Risa is under a lot of pressure as it is right now. She's not exactly good at containing her emotions, so please excuse me if the event that happens between her and Riku is off a bit. She gets defensive.
I woke up that morning, just as I had every other morning lately. I still felt crummy. Though, at least it was getting better. I could stand actually getting up and out of bed at the very least. It was still hard to believe that Dark was gone. My heart was so messed up at this point. I wasn't sure what to think anymore. Dark was one of those people who you'd think would be impossible to "pass away". I wasn't sure of the actual situation, but it felt the same. He wasn't "dead" per se, but that didn't mean he was lively either. So, it was just easier to think of him as dead.
I went about the morning, nearly the same as usual. I was about done with preparing for school when I heard a knock at the door. I looked to it momentarily, hearing a familiar voice. I finished off getting ready, putting in a messy bow, not intentionally, of course. I walked over to the door and opened it.
"Yes?" I asked.
"Are you ready?" Riku said.
I nodded to her. I gave off a fake smile and turned to get my bag and put my shoes on. I felt something on my shoulder. Riku had grabbed it. I turned in surprise. I was wondering what was wrong.
"Geez Risa! You're really starting to worry me" She told me.
I wondered what she meant. She made me turn around took my bow out. She then started to fix my hair and then put the bow back in properly. I blinked, turning back around. I guess I didn't notice it was that bad.
"Thanks Riku… and I'm fine, really!" I said to her.
I didn't want to worry her. Though, it got me to think. How bad did I really look? I didn't think I looked so bad, but maybe I really did? I mean, I didn't even feel like myself these days. I just didn't want anyone else to figure that out. Usually, I would have spent hours in front of my mirror just doing my hair in different hair styles, only to decide on the hair style I always end up. I never thought it was a waste of time before, but now I'm not in the mood for spending a few hours in front of the mirror. Especially with Dark disappearing.
I wanted to check the tarots real quick, starting to deal them like usual. I noticed a disapproving look from Riku, but she said nothing. I lifted up the last tarot card, not sure if I wanted to know it. It was The Star. I stared at it for a few minutes. I got The Star? That was good news… right? It meant healing of old wounds, along with other things. I wasn't sure where this would lead, but maybe that would mean my heartache would cure, at least just a little bit.
I smiled to Riku. It's safe to assume most of my smiles lately are fake, but this time, it felt like it was a real one. Maybe it was just reassurance. I needed a lot of that lately. I grabbed my bag and looked to her with a nod.
"Well, let's go" I told her, walking out of the room.
I saw as Riku followed me close behind as we left. We told our parents we were off to school before leaving. I was walking with Riku while she rode her bike. As odd as it seemed, it was quiet… I would have expected her to question what was going on with me lately, but she didn't. There was nothing by silence. I listened to the spokes of the bike make noise as Riku rode it. We were getting near the point we separated when she stopped.
"What's wrong, Riku?" I asked her, looking to her confused.
She didn't speak for a moment, as if looking for the right words to say. She stared at me before she spoke. She let out a concerned sigh.
"What's wrong? You are, Risa. Something is seriously wrong and I'm getting annoyed that you're not telling me what it is. Usually you're jumping off the walls and running to me telling me your problems whether I want to know or not" she said, staring at me intensely.
I winced slightly, not sure what to do. I knew it. I knew she would ask me this sometime or another. The Stars wasn't working just yet, but who knew. I shook my head.
"I told you, I'm fine! Just leave it be." I told her, trying not to sound rude or troubled.
Riku got off her bike and walked to me. "It's not fine! You're acting really weird, Risa! You've got to tell me what's wrong because if you don't I'm going to go insane of wanting to know!" she replied.
"Just butt out of it, Riku! Sometimes I just want a mind of my own! You don't need to know everything that happens to me! It's not like I invade your thoughts and press the issue with you and Niwa!" I said, getting annoyed.
I covered my mouth at the last part. I hadn't meant to say that. It just blurted out. Riku shuddered slightly, she shoved me slightly.
"Invade? You have your own mind! I don't invade your thoughts at all. In case you haven't noticed, I have respected that! I'm just worried for you, Risa! I always thought that Dark was just a pervert and I really hate him. He's not right for you and you need to stop being depressed because of him. All he does is hurt people, steals, and acts perverted!" she replied back.
I gasped, getting angry, "Dark is not perverted and he's not like that! Take it back! At least he's a lot better then Niwa, no offense intended to Niwa."
I shoved her back, but she shoved me again. "Fine, Risa! Chase a hopeless cause! He is too better then that pervert Dark!"
I was about to retaliate, but I felt myself losing my balance. I nearly feel back, landing in a small pond. I was certain I was going to get soaked, but I felt myself stop. I looked up to notice a boy with messy, sandy blonde hair. His eyes were a deep blue color. He looked like a foreigner. I couldn't help but blush. Whoever he was, he had saved me.
"Ri..Risa… Arg! Nevermind!" Riku started, as if she had something to say.
I watched her as she rode off to the direction she normally went. I wanted to ask her to stop, but she was out of sight already. I sighed. I didn't mean to snap at Riku and take it out on her, but she shouldn't have gone there with it. The boy helped my up and smiled to me with a dazzling smile.
"You should really be more careful. Are you alright?" he asked in an enchanting tone.
I shook my head frantically, blushing slightly. I couldn't help think that he looked really cute. But, I couldn't think this now. No, I had enough problems with my love life as it was. I really didn't need to start crushing on yet another boy, no matter how good looking he was.
"I-I'm fine! I've got to go. Thank you for the help" I said, running off.
I ran off towards to train. When I made it, I was exhausted. At the very least, I made it on time. Any longer, I probably would have missed the train. I paid my way and walked into the train. I took a seat that was open, sighing in defeat. I hadn't noticed Niwa sneak over until he spoke up.
"Good morning, Miss Harada. Are you alright? You look exhausted" he said to me.
"I'm fine, really!", I blurted out without thinking, "ah! Sorry Niwa… I was just trying to catch the train on time and I wasn't sure if I would make it"
It was kind of the truth, but for the most part, it was a lie. Though, it sounded like a good excuse. Niwa smiled at me and nodded.
"Oh, I see. It's fine. I was just wondering. Uhm… Miss Harada, do you want to hang out after school again? It's… a lot of fun. Lately, it seems that you probably need some fun" he asked.
I smiled a real smile to him. I was glad that Niwa cared so much, but I also didn't want him to worry. It made me feel even worse for those times I used his kindness to my advantage. He really was a nice guy. It was a shame that he never really got my interest romantically. Not that I'd fall for him, but I just felt bad for hurting him. Just because I wasn't into his type romantically, it didn't mean we couldn't be friends. He was probably one of my best friends, as it stands. I nodded to him.
"Yeah… I'd like that. Thank you, Niwa" I said to him with a smile.
We spoke until the train stopped. We started out and towards school. It seemed pretty odd. It was as if my depression lately had been someone else's for a while. Maybe it was just because it really made things easier when you had some caring friends and such around and to have fun with. That, however, did not change the fact that I was still in shock/mourning over Dark. Even if these good times happened, that wouldn't change how broken I felt on the inside these days.
I went to my seat in class, yawning. Jeez, school hadn't even started and I already felt tired. I lied my head down on my arms, closing my eyes for a little while. That was soon disrupted by a bunch of loud and giggling girls. I wanted to say shut up, but I didn't really have to desire to cause attention to myself at the moment.
"Ei~ He's so cute!" I over heard a girl say.
I lifted my head, seeing a huge crowd near the doorway.
"I hope he's in my class!" another girl said.
"Yeah! Yeah! I wonder if he has a girlfriend?" yet another said.
I sighed, putting my head down again. I didn't care. I would usually be in that crowd, but I really just wanted to sleep. Not only that, I was acting funky as it was anyways. That was reason enough, right?
"Wah~ Why do foreigners have to look so cute!" the first girl said.
'Foreigner?' I thought to myself, shooting up in my seat.
As I looked towards the door, the girls dispersed. It was time for class, so it made sense. The teacher shooed girls into the classroom, as well as other people who tried getting in but couldn't with the group of girls. They all took their places as the teacher walked to their seat.
"Well… it's probably no surprise now, but we have a new student" the teacher said.
I heard people talk amongst themselves about it.
"Shush! Jeez! Anyways, please welcome Joey Wilder" the teacher said.
For a while, no one came. The teacher seemed annoyed.
"Where's Joey Wilder?" they asked.
A boy walked in, looking to the teacher.
"Sorry, I was caught up in a few crowds" the boy said to the teacher with an enchanting tone.
I looked to him, blushing slightly. It had been the boy that had saved me earlier. So this was the foreigner that the girls were talking about. It was no wonder he got so much attention.
"Right then… this is Joey Wilder. He's a foreign exchange student from… where did you say you were from?" the teacher asked.
Wilder grinned, "California, United states".
"Ah! That's right! So, please treat him kindly and help him out. Wilder, you can take a seat next to Harada" the teacher said, pointing to the seat and then to me.
I winced slightly. He was sitting next to me…? Well, I didn't know how that would go, but I had a feeling it would be troublesome. Not that he, himself, would be the trouble. It was more like with my feelings and thinking.
The teacher went on with the lesson, lecturing about something or another. To be honest, I really didn't care what. I watched with the palm of my hand on my cheek. Wilder looked to me a few times with a grin.
"Hey, I'm Joey Wilder. You're that girl I saved earlier, right? The teacher said your name is Harada?" he whispered to me.
I turned to look to him and nodded.
"Yeah. My name Harada Risa. It's nice to meet you, Wilder-kun" I said in a whisper.
He grinned and shook his head, "That won't do. Just call me Joey."
I blushed slightly. Things in America must be different from here. There's no way I could call him by his first name. That would mean that we'd be intimate… it was nothing like that. So, I refuse to call him that. I shook my head as well.
"I can't. Do you understand the name system here?" I whispered to him.
"No, but I'd like to know" he whispered in interest.
I sighed slightly, "It's proper to call someone by their last name. When you call them by their first name, it means you're intimate with them and…" I started, blushing slightly.
"Oh! I see… So it would be like girlfriend/boyfriend almost?" he asked.
"Well… it goes for family and a few other things but… yeah, kind of" I whispered.
"If you don't mind, would I be able to sit with you at lunch? I don't really know a lot of people here, so…" he asked me.
I yawned slightly. To me, it just seemed like if that was the case, wouldn't you try to meet other people? It would be a good way to get to know people. But, that was his choice.
"Yeah, sure. I don't mind" I told him
Before I knew it, the bell had rung. I had been too busy talking to Wilder.
It wasn't too long until Lunch came. I was so relieved. I was staving! I got the food and went to sit with Riku and Niwa. Niwa welcomed me warmly, but Riku just kind of glared at me. I gave her one back. Who said she could push me around, even if she was my twin sister. I understood she was worried, but she didn't need to yell at me for not telling her. I had my reasons. I really didn't want to tell anyone, to be honest. It wasn't just her.
"Hey, Niwa. Would you be mad at someone if they didn't tell you what you were thinking of because it was personal?" I asked.
Riku shot a glare at me, but Niwa didn't seem to notice.
"Well… no… I guess I would be worried, but if you didn't want to tell me, then I wouldn't push it. If you wanted to talk, then you would tell me when you wanted to" he told me.
"That's exactly my point!" I said, glancing to Riku.
She was about to protest when she was interrupted.
"Mind if I sit with you guys?" a boy's voice said.
I turned to look at who it was and smiled to him. I nodded.
"Sure", I said, nodding.
"Guys, this is Wilder Joey. He's from America" I introduced as he took a seat with us.
"Hey Wilder-kun, I'm Niwa Daisuke. This is Harada Riku" Niwa introduced with a smile.
"Harada… huh? So you're sisters then?" Wilder asked me.
I nodded, "Twin sisters".
We started to eat and talk a bit. It was a little awkward, though. With Riku mad at me and Wilder-kun randomly sitting with us, it made for an odd situation. Still, I had to admit. It was nice talking to someone who didn't know me. It made lying to him a lot easier. I made trying to stay strong and not give into my emotions of his "death" so much easier. He wouldn't be able to ask questions about my odd behavior lately, unlike how Riku and Niwa could.
That whole lunch, Riku never spoke to me once. She simply went on talking to Niwa and sometimes Wilder-kun as if it was just the three of them. She even avoided using my name or so much my title. She didn't even say "my sister" or anything. Though, I'd give her some time. She couldn't stay mad at me forever, after all. I was about to go to my class, but I was stopped by Wilder-kun.
"Hey, Risa. Can you show me to my class, if it's possible?" he asked with a grin.
I felt my cheeks heat up. He wasn't used to calling people by their last names here, so it seemed. America was different from Japan. That was for sure. He must have noticed me blush slightly because he corrected himself.
"Ah! Sorry, Harada. I forgot about that" he told him
I shook my head, "It's fine. Sure, where's your schedule?"
He looked through the papers he had and pulled out a sheet, handing it to me.
"Ah- Art. I've got that next, too. I'll show you where that room is" I said with a smile.
He just nodded, following me. It quiet for a while. I would have minded before, stating it was too quiet, but lately, I treasured the calm silence. It helped me think a lot easier about my situation and about how to coup without him. He finally spoke out. It actually caught me by surprise.
"Harada, you're frowning. What's wrong? You look a lot prettier when you smile" he said.
This caused me to blush slightly. I guess I was just so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't think about how I looked to other people when I was like that. I would have to fix that if I was going to convince everyone that nothing was wrong and that it was the same old Risa that they knew and loved. I just put on one of my fake smiles and shook my head.
"I'm fine. I was just thinking… Ah! Here it is" I said, opening the door as I took my seat.
I wasn't sure about Wilder-kun, but he would most likely find a seat. As weird as it was, he was put next to me. So it seemed we would sit by each other here, too. We were put off in pairs. Naturally, the teacher just chose for us to paint the person we sat next to. I wasn't sure about this. I really wasn't the artistic type. Sure, I thought it was fun, but I sucked at drawing. I couldn't even draw a good stick figure and that was saying something.
"… Niwa is a really good artist" I mentioned.
Even if I did like the silence lately, right now felt like we needed some sort of distraction. Perhaps it would help my heartache if I didn't think about what was happening lately? Wilder-kun took a few minutes to answer as he was sliding the paintbrush along the canvas.
"Ah, really? He seems like the type" he said, not leaving the canvas, "You do too, but I digress."
"Me? No, I'm not that good at art… or cooking for that matter… but I'm getting better" I said, slightly shocked.
"You can't be that bad" he replied starting to get up.
I started to wave my arms around, "No! Don't look at it! It looks terrible!"
Obviously he ignored me because he came to looked, pushing my arms away from the canvas. It looked terrible. It didn't even look like him! I expected him to ask about it, but instead he just started to laugh. Laughing…? Why was he laughing? Did I say something wrong or was it just that bad?
"I'll admit, it is pretty bad, but no art is 'terrible'" He said.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
He shrugged slightly, going back to his seat, "I mean, Art isn't judged by a certain perspective. It can be anything, even a toddler's scribbles in a coloring book"
I took those words in. After I thought about it, it made sense. I guess I never really thought of it that way. His message sounded pretty deep, but maybe that was an overstatement. He turned his around, showing me his portrait of me. I couldn't help but gasp at it. It was amazing! He made me look so pretty while I made him look like some space monster by accident.
"Wow…. That's amazing…" I said.
He just smiled, "The best part is the smile on it. It looks a lot better then a frown, don't you think?"
Again with the blushing. My god, this was getting old. If I had a OFF button on the blushing, I would have defiantly turned it off. I let out a small, let me say this now, real, smile. I guess that was true, but that seemed to get harder and harder every day that passed.
"Look, Harada. You're a cute girl and you'd look even cuter if you smiled more" he said.
Of course, again… Just then, the bell rang. It was time to go. Before I got the chance to say anything, he said goodbye and left. I just took that time to start home, myself. It looks like my never ending battle with my love life would become a lot harder from now on. Just my luck. I really couldn't deal with this right now, but you can't help what the heart wants.
Rate and Review please :D. Oh, just so you know. I do not use tarot cards, so they may be inaccurate, I'm sorry for that. Thank you, Chaeria, for your suggestions. I really like the love triangle idea and I have something in mind for it. Also, thank you for the constructive criticism and motivation. I love you guys :D
Also, I'd like to apologize for not updating sooner. I finally got my files back so I plan on doing so a lot more often now.