Title:
Hidden messages
Series:
The
Connections
Series, part 4/?
Characters:
Charlie/Colby, Amita, Larry, Megan, David, Don
Rating:
M
Spoilers:
Seasons 1, 2, 3, 4
Summary:
The team brings Amita home but she finds out that Charlie says
very suspicious things in the middle of the night.
Disclaimer:
I do not own Numb3rs or anything related to it.
Beta:Thanks
to my amazing beta, who helped so much with this particular chapter.
The Connections Series
Part 4: "Hidden messages"
Larry was just about to knock on the door when Charlie stormed out of the house looking like hell. "Charles?" the physicist asked, because the other man hadn't seen him yet.
The mathematician turned around and took an incredibly deep breath. He had a lot of papers and markers in his hands and was looking for a ride. "I've found it. I've got it all here. I need to tell Don."
"Okay… Okay."
Of course, it wasn't a moment when questions would be appreciated. Larry offered to share a cab to the FBI, and on the way there, neither him nor Charlie said anything. The mathematician spent fifteen minutes working on some of the equations he had written on one the many papers. The physicist tried to read what they said, what information they represented, because Amita was a close friend of his too. But Larry didn't want to make Charlie even more nervous, so he just glanced at the graphics and some symbols that helped him to have a little idea of what his former student had discovered. He was sad that none of his quantum theory had been of any help.
When they arrived at the FBI quarters, every agent from every office got up to see a desperate Charlie pass them by. A mass of curled hair all tangled, clothes that hadn't been washed or changed in two days, and an important number of creased papers and pens falling to the floor while he ran; followed by a short physicist in a very ugly orange t-shirt.
"Don. Don!" Charlie called his brother. Don heard him and came with the rest of the team to meet him.
"Did you break it?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Let's go inside."
Everybody entered one of the offices, where there was three huge screens connected to several computers. Charlie took out a pen drive from his pocket and used it to explain in images what he had found.
He tossed his hair aside in a gesture that meant that he was so tired he could collapse at any second. Megan watched him talk but followed more the signs that indicated that he was too stressed and exhausted; if she saw any clues that made her believe that he was about to pass out, she would call someone immediately.
"I can't believe it. I was too blind to see that it was a very simple code. First I thought that as it was directed to me specifically, the basic characters to break the code had to come from data contained in one the most famous mathematician's works. I had been searching for Babbage, Fibonacci, Pythagoras, etcetera, for an entire week. And yet, I wasn't getting anything."
"But you did, eventually" Don said.
"Yeah. What I was looking for have nothing to do with it. The problem could be solved analyzing my own work. She thought I could easily read her message if she used a table of numbers and letters based on the 'Mathematical Analysis of Friendship Dynamics' ".
"The Attraction Equation," David muttered.
Charlie nodded, and when he smiled, Colby thought he looked so terrible that he wished that now that the mathematician had solved the code problem, he could relax for an entire week.
But then Charlie started to put on the tables the things he had brought with him. In the papers there were tables that explored all the possibilities the code could handle if the hidden message could be read using his latest book as a guide. When he explained what he had done, no one could follow him, except for Larry, who freely expressed his own opinion and finally gave his approval. Colby was just absorbed by Charlie's intensity again, and he didn't even listen to him when he got to the punch line.
"So this is what she's trying to tell us". Charlie took a certain paper in his hands, where the symbols had been replaced with letters. He showed it to everybody else.
MOTEL SAINT FATE.
2 MEN. GRENADES AND SOPHISTICATED WEAPONS.
"Ok, guys, let's go. Right now," Don commanded, and everyone got out of the room, except Colby. He went to where Larry and Charlie were.
"You did it," he muttered, with a smile on his face.
"I finally did it," Charlie answered, and took a breath, as deep as the one he had taken when he had seen Larry at the front door of his house. "My mind is working again."
He stared at his papers, feeling proud of himself. He saw Larry reading documents than contemplate other possibilities related to the code, and knew that he wasn't aware of anything around him. So he stepped towards Colby and put a hand on his arm, as the other always did to show him support.
"And it wouldn't have been possible without you" Charlie said in a whispered, and realized he didn't know why he had done it as if no one but the agent was supposed to hear it. "In fact, all of this is because of you"
You were so supportive. Just your presence made my day. You are a fantastic friend. Probably one of the few people I have learned to love in very little time in ages.
There, a few inches apart, he noticed Colby's face was a little flushed and that his eyes were focused on him. Those blue eyes were showing him respect, admiration and affection.
The agent had gone completely blank: he had never thought he could actually be the cause of Charlie's energy, much less the reason why he could begin to think again about math and actually be right. It was like living a little bit that hope he had about being the source of Charlie's fire. The idea burnt his heart and his skin, although only the mathematician's hand was touching him through two layers of clothing. But it was such an intimate gesture, the way he caressed his arm lightly, being careful of not crumple his black suit.
Charlie was still looking at him, and probably already had realized that Colby was staring at him like an idiot. Or like a person in love.
But you don't think about him like that. At least not really. You're just using him for your little fantasy. You just wished you had a woman that could love you the way he loves Amita.
Trying to stay calm and not be too obvious about his confused state of mind, Colby glanced at Larry, who was behind Charlie, still looking at the numbers the mathematician had written.
"I'm glad I could help you," he finally said, trying to sound confident.
Charlie removed his hand from his arm, and Colby felt like he had lost all the air he could breathe until tomorrow morning.
"Well, I'm glad you were the one to help me," the mathematician responded, and the agent felt like he could start to laugh right now. "She's going to be fine. Just like you told me", Charlie added, and Colby suddenly felt like all of his energy was going down to his feet.
"Yeah. Just like I told you" he repeated, and his heart ached a little. But this was for the best. Amita should come back, be with the one person that loved her, the one person she loved back. No matter how much Colby wanted it to be different, things had to have a certain order, and he didn't have the right to break it at all. "I'm bringing her back to you, Charlie. Just wait here and try to stay calm" he said before he left, still a little bit nervous with Charlie watching him go.
Two hours later, Charlie received a phone call. David asked him to go to the hospital, downtown. He hurried as much as he could, and when he arrived with Larry, he was soon holding a very hurt Amita in his arms like he hadn't seen her in ten years.
From one of the corners, Colby observed the way Charlie's hands pulled Amita toward his body. Colby could almost feel the heat that skin radiated. Charlie was all wet, since he had been sweating for the last hours, hoping everything turned out to be ok.
Amita kissed Charlie on the cheek and Colby felt embarrassed that he wished that relationship to end. He glanced at something else than her lips on Charlie's face, and he swallowed his feelings.
But he was about to break when, after thanking everybody, Charlie went to that corner of his and put his arms around him.
It's not what you think. Stop thinking he cares the way you care. It's just a 'thank you' hug.
He put his arms around Charlie too, and when he did it, he felt like if he was doing something forbidden because of his new intentions. Luckily, Charlie didn't seem to notice the hidden purpose, but kept looking at him through lowered lashes, like he was the person he wanted to see again the most at the hospital, and not Amita.
"Thanks for bringing her home, Colby. Thank you so much"
Again, when Charlie took away his warm hands from him, he had this weird feeling that he was all emptiness without that man by his side. And when the mathematician said that he would stay that night at the hospital, taking care of Amita, Colby wished he was the one that was resting in that bed, all covered in bruises.
But he went home and tried to sleep to forget about everything. He took a damn pill because he just wanted to sleep all night, without having any kind of dreams that remind him of Charlie, and wanted to wake up in the morning to realize that all the feelings he had experienced the last few days were only a prank his silly mind had been playing on him.
Amita had been watching Charlie interact with Colby during that evening at the hospital. There was something special between them, it was more than obvious. A new, good and sincere friendship. She was glad his boyfriend had become closer to someone from the team, other than Don, and occasionally Megan.
She talked with Charlie for an hour about that, and noticed that Colby now was an important part of his life. They also talked about how the mathematician had broken the code, and how smart she had been by using the "Mathematical Analysis of Friendship Dynamics" to build it.
But then she was talking about how she knew someone was going to save her, and Charlie feel asleep. His curls rested on his shoulders, eyes closed, almost snoring already. She smiled watching him like this, taking a break after days of stress. She stayed awake to admire his intelligence, his focus, a little longer.
But Charlie was in another world.
He found himself waking up inside an SUV, at the passenger's seat. How much time had passed since Amita's kidnapping? There was no calendar, no clock that could tell him anything about what time it was.
But he knew exactly where he was going to. He smiled when she saw Amita in the driver's seat, by his side, smiling back at him. They were on the road, and they were going to spend a week in interesting locations that could be joined in a map to form a Pi symbol.
"I didn't find it creepy, by the way" she said, and Charlie wondered how she knew what he was thinking about.
"Good", he answered, and forgot about the telepathy issue. "So, what's our first stop? 'Cause I'm so glad we're doing this. It came to me in a dream. I know I'm going to sound like Megan, but dreams can provide you amazing ideas, and sometimes even tell you some things about yourself you didn't know"
"And not only dreams, but also friends can give very good advice," Amita said, still smiling, barely taking her eyes off the road.
"I know. Colby was right about it. We had to do this."
"But you didn't have to take me with you."
Charlie jumped in his seat when he heard that male voice. When he turned out, he found what he thought he would: Colby was in the backseat. But there was something wrong about this, and it wasn't just the fact that he was inside the vehicle.
"Why are you dressed in tac gear?"
"I don't know. You made me put on all this."
"You're saying I made you…? Amita, Colby, what's going on here?"
Both of them looked at each other, then at Charlie, and shook their heads, like they were disappointed that he couldn't find any meaning to the present situation.
So Charlie hid his face behind his pale hands. He took a deep breath and turn to look at Amita again. But Colby had taken her place at the driver's seat. He looked for her in the backseat, but she had disappeared. And the car hadn't stopped yet.
It was absolutely impossible. Unless it was all a dream. Now he got it: he was trapped inside his own mind. However, he didn't worry about it, because he could handle anything that happened there. He was in control now.
But then Colby spoke. "So, how much you care?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm asking how much you care about me."
Charlie found himself very confused again. But he could manage his feelings. "Well, you have become my friend. I guess I'm glad you're here"
"And that's all."
Taking his eyes of the road, Colby looked at him, lips slightly open, and Charlie found himself staring at them.
"Charlie."
The mathematician raised his gaze from that mouth and met Colby's eyes. He remembered that warm look. The agent smiled a little, and focused on the road again.
"So…" Colby said, very serious.
"So… what?" Charlie asked, trying to seem cool about everything that was happening.
"So, now you know"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
A moment of silence.
Colby said, "Yeah, you do know it. You just don't want to admit it, no matter how much you have to swallow your feelings, because it would ruin everything. But your mind is very aware of what you really desire. I don't think I should start writing equations to convince you that this is a proof of it"
Charlie started feeling like there was no enough air inside the car, and opened a window. He watched the empty road. This dream was like the real trip he had taken with Colby a few days ago, just that things that he didn't want to think about were popping out everywhere, anytime.
"C'mon, get it out of your system. This is your head we're in. No one's going to listen. And you probably won't remember anything in the morning anyway."
Colby stared at Charlie, as if he was encouraging him to speak. The mathematician considered what he had to lose. He realized it was nothing. Maybe if he admitted what he felt in a dream, he could close this unexpected fantasy that could ruin his relationship with Amita as much as his friendship - or whatever it was- with Colby. That, at least, was something Megan had said in one her endless conversations with Larry in front of the team.
The wind was caressing his face. The Colby of his dream was intelligent, strong and confident, a very nice product of his mind. So what if he said it; it didn't matter.
"Ok…you wanted me to say it? Fine, so here it goes. And please promise me that you won't laugh, even if you are something I'm imagining right now." He looked at Colby and the eye and the vehicle parked somewhere along the road. "I have been very confused about your significance in my daily life. I'm happy that we got to know each other more, and yet I'm terrified because I don't know what you mean when you look at me like that."
"How do I look at you?"
"Just like that, the way you're looking at me right now. Your eyes shine, like I'm the only one person that matters in the world. It makes me think you want…"
"What I want doesn't matter here. It's your reaction to me looking at you that's important. I know that you really meant that hug to be more than just a 'thank you' gesture"
"Well… maybe."
"Maybe.". Colby wasn't convinced at all, because, after all, he was part of Charlie's subconscience.
"Yeah, maybe I wanted to hold you. I wanted to hold you so tight in that hospital, and not for bringing Amita back. I wanted to do it just because it was you, because you were there. Because I feel I have a connection with you that no one can break"
Charlie stopped talking. Colby reached the mathematician's face and caressed it with his left hand. He was still looking at him with warm eyes. And he started to lean.
"What… what are you doing?" Charlie asked.
"You know what I'm doing."
"Colby… are you… are you trying to kiss me in my dreams?"
Suddenly, Charlie went back to reality. He jumped in his seat and realized that it had been a dream, just as he imagined. He tossed aside some curls that were tangled with sweat. He hadn't gone home to take a shower and change his clothes: he was still looking like hell.
At least he was with Amita. She lay in the bed, facing the opposite direction. She seemed to be asleep.
But she wasn't. She had been watching Charlie sleep for a while, and then she had heard him say some things. She had heard the last confessions Charlie had give in to in his dreams. Dreams that included Colby as a lover.