Author's Note: To all of my new readers, here we are at chapter 4! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter, but if you've gotten this far you must've liked something. Thank you so much for sticking with the story this far and I can't wait for your reviews.
This story has been going through a rewrite process. From now on I'll post when I've done any editing to the chapters. Some of the changes may be minor, some a bit more major. So be sure to browse through the chapters when you see an update note to be sure you don't miss the changes. These could be critical to the story making sense in the future. Please read and review. Anonymous reviews also welcome.
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Chapter Update: 4/4/13
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CHAPTER FOUR: HOME SWEET HOME
xxxMANDYxxx
I stumbled out of the TARDIS feeling quite ill. Our landing had been like riding a mechanical bull. The Doctor stepped out behind me and grinned broadly. Martha, Jack, and Donna sauntered out behind him. Martha stopped to put a hand on my shoulder as the others looked around them.
"You alright?" She asked.
I took a deep breath and nodded. Who'd have thought that you could get spaceship sick? Of course I knew that my regeneration was also partly to blame. I looked around me at the familiar houses and could see my house down the way. I recognized three cars parked out front and smiled.
"Not too bad a landing," the Doctor said cheerily.
"Speak for yourself," I grumbled.
They laughed at me as I started walking towards my apartment. Martha and Donna had talked the Doctor into staying to visit while I'd taken a nap onboard. After all, Jack's vacation had been cancelled due to unfortunate events… me.
"What're your friends like?" Martha asked curiously.
"Well, Shaye is a sweetheart. She's fun, and caring, and easy to get along with. I've known her a long time now. I don't know how many times we've had people say we're 'attached at the hip.' She's a bit protective of me, but then again I think all my friends are. Clifton is the life of the party, always good for a laugh. He's a model and a good poet. I love his poetry. He and I have a lot in common. Kindred spirits his mom calls us. We both have a love for cats, pink, and Hello Kitty. Amongst a million other things. Not too bad on the looks either," I added for the two women's benefit.
Donna noted, with amusement, that through my regeneration I had acquired the Doctor's habit of speaking at great speed along with his tendency to ramble.
"What about the other two?" Donna asked.
"Mitchell and Zollie?" I asked, grinning without realizing it.
"Yeah, them."
"Mitchell is fairly intelligent. Okay, really intelligent. He's also incredible with computers and anything else digital or electronic. He was going to be a psychologist but changed his mind. He decided the only reason he'd even considered it was because he likes to analyze people and mess with their heads. Most people take everything he says seriously because he can make even the most ridiculous bullshit sound true."
"Sounds familiar," Jack said, looking at the Doctor.
We were getting close to my apartment door and I straightened the little black dress I'd borrowed out of the closet of the TARDIS and adjusted it. I wasn't wearing a bra since the one I'd been wearing when I'd regenerated was gone. I realized as perky and round as they were now I didn't really need one. The modern matte jersey dress featured a flattering shirred front bodice that hid my nipples and a dramatic asymmetrical hemline that made my legs look stunning. I checked the tie of the halter neck straps making sure it was securely tied still. I didn't want any accidents.
"So... what about Zollie?" Martha asked as we reached the front steps.
"He's my little drummer boy," I said with a smile. "He plays drums and guitar phenomenally. He's really funny. He's also a huge fan of rock music. Our favorite band is Disturbed. Which, we used to joke, made so much sense about us. He also likes a good party. He's usually the first one drunk. But he's not a bad drunk. Just a drunk, drunk…" I said, hoping I made sense.
"So you haven't seen them in a while?" The Doctor asked.
There was a hint of something in his voice when he asked and I looked back at him as I opened my front door.
"I haven't seen Shaye in six months. The rest? Longer, still," I said thinking of Mitchell. "We live all over the place so it makes it harder to keep in touch."
"Don't you have any other friends?" Martha asked glancing around my entry way as we entered the apartment.
"No," I told her honestly.
I looked around my entry way and noted the four pairs of shoes and jackets hanging in the closet. I reached out attentively to stroke one jacket in particular. I took a deep breath and recognised the scent immediately. I smiled. Somewhere overhead music was playing.
"Come on. They probably can't hear us," I said heading down through the hall.
The Doctor followed on my heel with the others right behind him. I heard the muffled sound of Katy Perry blaring from the stereo in my bedroom upstairs. It was Shaye's and my favorite song. I hummed with the lyrics as I led my guests up the stairwell and the music got louder. Outside my bedroom door I took a deep breath and opened it.
I was greeted by a blur of dark brown hair and tan skin flying at me. I nearly fell off my feet but landed against the Doctor as Shaye engulfed me in the tightest hug of my life. I noticed she had bags under her eyes and knew she hadn't slept much. Her brown hair had grown out past her shoulders and layered so it fluttered prettily in soft curls. She was still tall and thin, and looked great in a black and green dress.
"Oh, thank god!" She said, pulling away from me.
She held me out by the shoulders to look me over. Her eyebrows rose in surprise at my new appearance and I noticed the familiar shine in her brown eyes telling me she liked what she could see. Longing flowed through my chest and I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her neck and kissing her deeply. I'd missed her, more than I could even express with that kiss. I heard the boys' shouts of approval and I released Shaye laughing.
I was so overcome with emotion that I didn't notice the looks of shock on Martha's and the Doctor's faces, nor the amused ones on Donna's and Jack's. In all honesty, I'd completely forgotten them at that moment.
Zollie was sitting backwards in my desk chair, leaning his elbows on the backrest as he tapped in rhythm with his drumsticks to Katy Perry's 'Extra Terrestrial'. Even sitting down he was still tall, an even six foot if I remembered correctly. He was wearing one of his many band t-shirts and a pair of distressed jeans with blown out knees. As usual he had his hair closely shaved to his head with some intricate pattern shaved to the scalp. I crossed the room to give him a hug and he tapped his rhythm on my rear.
"Zollie!" I exclaimed half-heartedly.
A tall blur of curly hair bounded from the bed out the corner of me eye, swept me up, and spun me around. I laughed delighted as Clifton spun me in a circle, never letting go.
"I missed you," he said smiling happily.
I looked him over as he placed me back on my feet. He was dressed in typical high fashion designer clothes. Working as a model he had to dress in designer in and out of the studios. I smiled up at him. He seemed to have topped Zollie's height by two inches in the past few months. I reached up and ruffled his curly blonde-brown hair like a puppy and laughed as he just gave it a wild shake to drop it into place again.
"I missed you, too!" I said, as a tear escaped to roll down my cheek. "How's work?"
"Hey, now! None of that," he laughed wiping away the tear. "As for work… 'wear this, stand like that, sit pretty'. Same ol' shit."
I laughed and turned to look at the last person in the room. Mitchell was sitting casually in my chair by the window, waiting patiently for me to make my way to say hello. I felt like time had stopped as I stood there just taking in his presence. I realised why the Doctor had seemed so familiar to me, he was an older embodiment of Mitch. The two of them shared the same hair style, aside from the fact that Mitchell was ginger, a fact I'd later learn would annoy the Doctor. They were both six feet and four inches tall, they had the same body shape, aside from musculature. Mitchell had very toned muscles from constantly riding and working on his bicycle. Not that I could compare his muscles to the Doctor's, I'd only seen him in a suit so far.
I noticed a dark five o'clock shadow that told me Mitchell had left the house in a hurry; he'd skipped his daily shave. I glanced into his hazel eyes and saw that fierce loyalty he'd always possessed. Mitchell smiled at me softly and I walked towards him. He looked me over with curiosity. It'd been a year since we'd last seen each other. He looked exactly the same, where I had changed completely. Inside and out.
He stamped out his cigarette and slowly rose out of the chair opening his arms to give me a hug and I rushed into them. I tucked my face into his chest trying not to cry as he breathed in the scent of my hair. I took a deep breath of my own and smelled the familiar scent of coffee, cloves, and cologne that was distinctly his. The same scent that clung to his jacket downstairs. He ran a hand through my long blonde hair.
"You look amazing," he said to me. "Your hair has never been so long."
Just the sound of his voice had a comforting effect. I laughed, pulling it all over one shoulder. "Thanks, I decided to take your opinion and drink miracle gro for a while."
He laughed keeping an arm around me as I looked up into his bright eyes.
"Seriously though, I guess a lot has changed."
He glanced past me to look curiously at the group standing in the doorway. I turned to see that the others were staring at them too. I took a deep breath. What was I supposed to tell them? 'Oh, hey, guys. Let me introduce you to the people that kidnapped me in their spaceship when I got attacked by aliens. Oh, and then they had to save me because I nearly died when I got crushed by a cabinet. But don't worry, turns out I'm actually an alien that can't actually die, I just turn into a different person.' I saw the Doctor looking just as nervous as I was as to what I'd say.
"Umm, guys. This is Donna Noble…"
Donna smiled politely as she shook all their hands, exchanging 'hellos'.
"This is Dr. Martha Jones…"
Martha shook all their hands and Mitchell held hers a little longer as he looked her over.
"What kind of doctor?" He asked.
"I'm a medic," she told him. "I used to work in a hospital."
"You quit?" He asked surprised.
"Actually I work for UNIT now, Unified Intelligence Taskforce."
Mitchell nodded although I wasn't sure he actually knew what UNIT was; I myself assumed it was something similar to the Navy.
"You could always stay with us," Jack offered Martha.
Martha shook her head with a smile. "I also work with this guy. I'm his liaison and medic, on short-term secondment from UNIT."
Jack shook everyone's hands with a large smile.
"Captain Jack Harkness. And it is a pleasure to meet you!" Jack said with a wide smile to Shaye as he kissed the back of her hand.
Shaye's smiled widened with pleasure. Yup, I thought to myself, I knew they'd hit it off from the start. Two halves of the same personality. Jack gave her a flirtatious wink and she giggled.
"Jaaack," the Doctor warned. He reached out to shake everyone's hands giving them a bright smile. "You can call me the Doctor."
"You a medic too?" Zollie asked.
"Well, I've done my part now and then," the Doctor said noncommittally.
I noticed that Mitchell and the Doctor shook hands a little longer than necessary, both sizing the other up. The Doctor was the first to smile.
"Miranda tells me you're quite intelligent."
Mitchell looked over the Doctor's navy suit and red converse shoes and returned the smile slowly.
"I'd say well-educated is more an appropriate term," Mitchell said. "Looks like you do a lot of running."
The Doctor glanced at his shoes, rocking on his heels.
"Oh, a bit. Like to keep fit," he joked.
"Keeping fit? Is that what we're doing?" Donna asked sarcastically.
"Oh, come on, Donna! Look at you! Never looked better! You can thank me for that."
"I'm gonna thank ya alright," she grumbled.
I offered to grab drinks if everyone wanted to get comfy. Mitchell sat back down to have another cigarette by the window, Zollie stayed in his chair at the desk, and Clifton's sat on the floor near Mitchell's chair. The others arranged themselves on the bed or the sofa. While everyone started to get to know each other Shaye offered to help me carry drinks. I agreed immediately, I'd enjoy the one-on-one time with her.
We walked downstairs to the kitchen and I found my cat curled up in a chair. I smiled lifting him up and cuddling him to my chest. He meowed sleepily at me and purred affectionately. My cat, Jesse, was seventeen years old this year. I'd had him as long as I could remember.
"Mommy missed you too," I cooed at him.
I set Jesse back down in the chair, turning to look at Shaye and I noticed a troubled look on her face. I immediately opened my arms for her and she slowly walked into them, lowering her head to my shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me. Even having grown two inches she was still five inches taller than I was.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," she mumbled into my shoulder.
I squeezed her tightly, feeling awful. I loved her so much. She was the only family I'd ever truly have. I hated to hear the fear in her voice, especially knowing I was the one that put it there.
"I won't," I said. "I promise."
She straightened herself and smiled. She ran a hand through my hair gently.
"You've grown your hair out pretty quickly," she observed. "And you've lost a lot of weight."
"Oh, yeah. Do you… what do you think?" I asked.
Her hazel eyes sparkled, meeting my bright green ones.
"I love it. All of it," she said, with a teasing grin. "You look good enough to eat."
"Couldn't have put it better myself!" Jack said from the doorway startling us. "Sorry girls. Am I interrupting?"
Shaye's eyes lit up and she smiled at him mischievously. I stared from him to her and shook my head. Oh, no. Please don't do this now! I prayed.
"Interrupting? Not at all," she said. "In fact, I was just thinking we could use one more…"
Jack grinned and stepped into the room, challenge accepted.
"Well, good thing I came down then. After all, one's never enough."
Shaye circled behind me and smiled lecherously at him as she ran a hands down my arms. Oh hell no! I thought and knew I had less than ten seconds to…
I stepped away and turned to go to the fridge, hoping to put as much distance between the two of them as possible. I'd known Shaye too long, been caught up so many times just this way… Shaye reached a hand out to me and pulled me into an intimate kiss before I had the chance to even realise her mouth was on mine. Too late, I thought. I felt my body respond as it always had to her, but this time all those feelings raged to the surface with a fiery hot intensity.
Somewhere I heard Jack's low whistle. Oh, no. Not now. Please, not this time. I lost my breath as my hearts pumped blood through my veins faster than normal. I wasn't used to two hearts and I wasn't completely recovered from the regeneration. And yet despite my foggy mind yelling warnings in my head I couldn't pull away. Something inside me craved her every touch and my body refused to respond to anything but its own needs.
Shaye's hands found my face and they travelled slowly down to my shoulders and around to my back. She pulled me tightly against her and I knew she was seducing Jack. I was just her ammunition; unfortunately she'd be bringing me down with them. Through the fog I nervously remembered I had four more men and two women still upstairs waiting on drinks and I couldn't stand the embarrassment if one of them walked in now.
Shaye's hands loosened from my back and she put her head back to moan. Jack's mouth was nipping tentatively at Shaye's neck, her favorite spot. Screw the drinks. Taking advantage of my sudden freedom I pulled quickly out of her grip and headed for the door, trying to catch my breath. Blood was pumping heavily through my veins and I felt oxygen deprived. Every nerve begged me to turn back around. Jack caught me by the arm and I was forced to do just that.
"Oh no, you don't. My turn," he said pulling me back towards them.
"I-I've actually got to go upstairs," I heard myself say.
Shaye laughed and grabbed my other arm. "Oh, Mandy. You're such an innocent."
Jack gave my arm a tug and caught me as I stumbled off my feet. His lips crashed onto mine, deliciously warm. Rationality screamed at me. This isn't right. Not a good idea. You're not thinking properly! But I felt myself mold against him the same way I had Shaye. How did I get myself into these situations?
I realised they always started with Shaye. But usually I was able to stop, able to walk away. Shaye's hands drifted down my back as she leaned in to nuzzle my earlobe. A moan grew in my throat. Suddenly I was light headed, my body felt like it was burning, glowing, trying to take control. All reasonable thought felt like it was getting further and further away. Virgin panic fluttered to life in my chest as Jack's hands found their way down to my rear.
Somewhere in my mind I begged for help and somewhere in my mind something answered me, a rush of calm and strength washed over me and I could sense another presence in my mind. I tugged at it, begging it to help. I felt for that connection in the back of my mind. I pulled my face away from Jack, gasping for air as his lips travelled down my throat. I tried to think, tried to breath. My body felt like it was out of control, I was losing control, I wasn't strong enough. Help, I thought. Help me. Something's wrong, stop me!
Before I'd even finished the thought a familiar voice split the air.
"You," I heard the Doctor's voice snap. "Upstairs, now!"
Jack pulled away from me as if he'd been slapped. He glanced at me and then back toward the Doctor grinning.
"Sure you don't want to join, Doc? I've got a girl to spare," he joked.
Shaye's hands left my stomach as she stepped away from me to look at the Doctor with a grin. Despite the fact that Jack had asked the Doctor to join he was backing away. I put a hand to my chest, willing my hearts to slow down.
"Enough," the Doctor said. "You've had your fun. I swear to Rassilon I'll drop you on a dead planet with no food. And no vortex manipulator."
Jack's eyebrows rose and he glanced at Shaye who giggled. He grinned and offered her his hand.
"Apparently we're being put in time out."
Shaye laughed taking his hand and letting him lead her past the Doctor.
"Spoilsport," she told him.
I stumbled backwards toward the table to lean heavily against it. My hearts pounded in my ears. I couldn't bring myself to look at the Doctor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw he'd lost his brown coat and had his hands deep in his trouser pockets. I could see a look of curiosity and confusion on his face.
"You called for me."
I stared at him, my brain still not working with me. My blood was racing, my heart was pounding, and there was a whistling in my ears.
"No one has been able to call me like that for a really long time."
"I was getting lost," I managed to gasp clutching my chest.
The Doctor led me to the table and sat me down in an empty chair. He brought a stethoscope out of his pocket and he listened to my hearts one after the other. "Your hearts are still pumping too fast. They should have slowed down by now." He watched me oddly.
I laid my head on the table. I was suddenly feeling very warm and tired.
The Doctor kneeled beside me as he whipped a pair of specs from his breast pocket, slid them on his face, and then retrieved his sonic screwdriver from the same pocket. He played with it a second and then waved it up and down my body as it made a high pitched whistling noise.
"What are you doing?" I asked trying to sound casual but not quite pulling it off.
"Scanning you. Like I did when you were on the TARDIS," he said. "The range of functions of my screwdriver are almost limitless: interception of signals ranging from transmit beams to conscious thought; medical diagnostics and repair of organic parts; cutting and reattaching together materials such as wires; operating Earth machinery such as computers and cash machines; creating a spark to light a candle. I can remotely detonate explosives and activate missiles. I can use it to interface with the TARDIS's central console, even do it remotely from outside the ship. It can open almost all kinds of mechanical or electronic locks using high-kinetic sonic waves, except deadlock seals. Of course I can also lock doors using the reverse setting. Even better, I can blast a door clean off its hinges if I don't have time to dawdle with the locks…."
On and on he rambled as he scanned me and I stared at him in disbelief. He could talk so much! And he didn't even appear to need to stop for breath. I was tired just listening to him. He clicked his screwdriver off and looked at it. His eyes drew up to look me over in confusion.
"What?" I asked.
"Your biochemistry is out of whack. That and every neuron is functioning at overdrive."
"No, you think?" I asked sarcastically.
"How old are you?" he asked me curiously.
"Twenty-one remember?"
"Twenty-one… you were eight when your mother brought you through time…" He paced back and forth pulling his hand through his hair and thinking aloud.
I couldn't catch half of what he was saying. He was talking faster than I could comprehend. He startled me when he jumped and clapped his hands in front of me.
"That's it!" He exclaimed. "Oh, of course. How could I have not realized! It makes so much sense, you're just a teenager, the chemical reconstruction's beginning…"
I stared at him in confusion. He was attempting to explain something to me but in his excitement the words were indistinguishable and I had no idea what he was saying.
"…So all you need is a mate!" He finished.
I blinked at him and felt my mouth drop open.
"What?" I asked stupidly.
"A mate! You're feeling the genetic effects of being part Time Lord. Most women on Gallifrey had many mates in order to keep their bodies chemicals balanced. It's one of the more unfortunate gifts for our species. Of course, I suppose it depended on the opinion. Honestly I found it a bit of a nuisance. Although thankfully it only affects the women. So you must've reached the prime age for a Time Lady when your body starts to crave the connection of a Time Lord. Usually it's a gradual process but because your mother sealed everything away your regeneration brought it on all at once. Your hormones are raging out of control because of the sudden chemical imbalance. That's why you're so attracted to the others. Oh, that makes so much sense as to why you couldn't control your mind. Your body needs the chemicals to be balanced and craves a connection but it doesn't realise the connection can only be made with another Time Lord. It just knows what it needs and takes over…" He blundered on and on as if I wasn't in front of him.
Frustrated, and honestly a bit overwhelmed, I smacked him across the face. He looked at me in shock.
"What was that for?" He asked, holding his cheek.
"I'm. Right. Here!" I enunciated.
"I can see that!" He exclaimed.
"Stop talking about me as if I'm just some…. animal!" I yelled, tears coming to my eyes.
I wiped them away angrily. I didn't know why this man bothered me so much. I found myself liking him and yet he irritated me beyond belief. And here I was sitting in the middle of my kitchen being analyzed by a man that just walked in on me being seduced by my best friend and a complete stranger. God, maybe he was right, I was such a whore. I voiced this thought unknowingly and the Doctor looked at me harshly.
"You aren't a whore. Haven't you been listening to a word I've been saying?" He asked crossly.
"I would if you didn't say a thousand words a minute and I could comprehend the words coming out of your mouth!" I said agitatedly.
He sighed and grabbed my shoulders forcing me to look into his eyes.
"This is completely natural," he told me. "What's happening to you has to do with being a Time Lady. Your body has reached a sort of maturity that all the women of Gallifrey go through. That includes males as well in a way. Your body is ready for a mate. Obviously you aren't ready for that mentally but your body is reacting to the chemical imbalance. That's why you were unable to walk away. That's why your mind wasn't able to tell your body to just go. Time Lords and Ladies are two halves of a whole. Together the chemicals balance out. You need a mate. Pure and simple."
I stared at him. If this situation was anything it was not simple. He spoke to me as if I were a patient in a hospital. Slowly and calmly so I would understand, with no emotion, completely professional. But I wondered if he realised what he was telling me.
"What do you mean I need a mate?" I asked nervously, that virgin panic bubbling up again. "I mean, do I need, need a mate? Or is there, umm, medicine or something to…"
"Well, a part of it is the need of a physical connection. The chemical construction of a Time Lord's body functions similarly, in this aspect, to an animal. It's instinctive for Time Lord's to seek out a mate. On Gallifrey it was nothing, customary even, to just find someone you fancied and, well, that doesn't need explaining."
"But I don't understand! How can a physical connection fix a chemical imbalance?"
"Blimey, you haven't had any training at all have you?" The Doctor asked surprised. "Right, only eight, wasn't important yet. Okay, well, blimey… haven't had these talks for a while. Oh, I'm getting too old for this…"
"Doctor! What happens?"
"When Time Lords mate a physical connection is made as well as a telepathic one. As… eh-hem, things progress the chemicals that reside in each gender increase and at the release both can draw in the chemicals their bodies need to balance out. And that's what's happening to you. You're just a teenager in our terms, and this is the first wave. That's when the actual process begins," he explained.
My head swirled as I tried to make sense of this. The part of me that was Time Lady understood the whole explanation as if it was common sense. But the part of me that was human didn't understand and didn't want to. I was still a virgin, what the hell did I need a mate for? I was just a tween in Time Lord years; a child compared to him. The aging process stopped for Time Lords at different points and my aging process had stopped at seventeen, although my regeneration at least let me mature a couple years. So why, being as young as I was, did I need to mate now? Another thought hit me.
"And so the only way to get this chemical imbalance leveled out is too mate with…" I asked fearing I already knew the answer.
"A Time Lord. Time Lords thankfully don't go through what the women do. We just have the chemicals they need. Unfortunately it's the pheromones the Time Ladies give off that make it so we have to. Once we've gotten the scent that's it. The chemical imbalance for the women lasts about fifty years, and then hits about every hundred. Bit inconvenient really. But I suppose it was easier for me, male, and all that. But like I said, the most difficult part is the scent awareness. We have exceptional noses as it is but the slightest scent of the pheromones can set us off. It's controllable of course, the cravings, just very difficult to rein in as time goes on. Time Lords give off carriotonic proteins through mating. Which is all you need…" He stopped suddenly.
His face went from that of a doctor to a deer in headlights. He backed away several large steps and swept his hand through his hair frantically. He began muttering profusely to himself as he a paced a tight line. His face growing ever more appalled by the second.
"A Time Lord," he repeated over and over.
I knew he was thinking over exactly what he'd told me. All my body needed were Carriotonic proteins, a chemical that I could only get from a mate. A Time Lord mate to be exact and unfortunately for us both he was the only one left. He stopped pacing and looked at me in horror. I looked away and refused to meet his gaze again. There was no way. I'd have to deal with this forever. He'd never be able to help me with this one. Especially because I was part human. Most Time Lord's were disgusted with the idea of mating with humans. I was tainted.
I felt my hearts give a dull ache. All I ever wanted was for someone to want me, love me. To find someplace where I fit in or was accepted. Someplace I could finally belong. But because I had mixed blood there would be no way for me to ever find someone. I considered the idea of having an actual Time Lord, the Doctor, as my mate. But he'd never, and how could he? I was no one. I was a stranger, some part human child going through puberty in his eyes.
"Martha!" He exclaimed.
"What?" I asked confused.
"I'll get Martha. Stay here! She'll figure this whole thing out," he said determinedly. He whipped his glasses off and pocketed them.
I watched him rush out of the room and felt the first tear roll down my face. I got up from my chair to follow him; I didn't want to be left alone. It was the same as always. I was something that someone had to figure out, another problem to be fixed. I knew who I needed, I knew who would always think of me as nothing but perfect. I went upstairs and passed the upstairs bathroom. It was slightly ajar and I heard the Doctor repeating everything he'd told me. I assumed he was with Martha since that's who he'd said he was going for.
I entered my bedroom. I was right; Martha and the Doctor were the only ones missing. The White Stripes blared from my stereo speakers and Mitchell was sitting in the chair by the window, singing along.
'…Lots of girls walk around with tears, but that's not for you. You've been looking all around for years for someone to tell your troubles to.' I smiled at the lyrics, the lyrics Mitchell had been singing to me for two years. How fitting the song was right now. 'Come and sit with me and talk awhile. Let me see your pretty little smile. Put your troubles in a little pile and I will sort 'em out for you…'
I met Mitchell's eyes sadly as I sat down on the bed next to Shaye. She was flirting outrageously with Jack who was happily returning the attention. Clifton, Donna, and Zollie were laughing and talking and I smiled. They all seemed to get along quite well. No one seemed to notice my troubled expression, or even the redness of my eyes from crying.
Mitchell stared at me for a while and I attempted to give him a reassuring smile, a smile he saw right through. He lifted himself out of the chair and came to stand in front of me. He reached down and took my hand in his, gently tugging me from the bed. I walked with him out of the bedroom leaving everyone behind.
He led me past the bathroom, inside I could hear Martha talking to the Doctor. From the tone of her voice she wasn't pleased. I forced myself to keep walking as Mitchell led me to my spare bedroom. He opened the door and stepped inside the doorway, never letting go of my hand. He turned and looked at me when I didn't follow and I saw the question in his eyes. I stood there in the doorway with him; just looking in his eyes. I heard the bathroom door open and from the corner of my eye saw the Doctor and Martha step out to stare openly at me.
I didn't turn to look at them as Mitchell reached out to grab my other hand. I saw the Doctor step my way but I allowed myself to be pulled into the bedroom. Mitchell shut the door behind me and pulled me into his embrace.
"It's okay now," he whispered as he held me close. "You're okay."
I felt myself break down into sobs and he lifted me into his arms as if I weighed nothing. He carried me to the bed where he curled around me like he always had, just holding me while I cried my hearts out. I silently hated the Doctor for invading my life. I didn't want to be a Time Lady. I didn't even want to be a human. I didn't want to be anything. Mitchell could sense that, although he didn't know the reason for it.
Why, when my life was already unbearable, did everything have to become so much more complicated? And why, despite knowing the Doctor only a couple days, was I hurt so much by the fact that he wasn't attracted to me and didn't want me? I hated him for not wanting me, although I knew it was unfair, stupid even. I cried harder when I felt the Doctor's irritation through the connection only I would ever be able to feel.
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