Chapter 4:

'Cause when I'm with him I'm thinking of you.

Thinking of you, what would you do?

If you were the one spending the night.

Oh, how I wish I was looking into your eyes.

Sure as shit the lights from the sign that hung over the bar I frequented (even if it was only to watch Jake's muscles play under his almost too tight uniform shirts) lit up the interior of the Volvo. I said a silent prayer before I got out of the car that maybe, just maybe, Jake was off tonight. Maybe he called in sick, or maybe he was just off enjoying a vacation day or something.

The passenger door opened and Edward was standing there holding his hand out to me, I took it but the reluctance was completely evident. I wondered if he noticed the air between us changed dramatically since the restaurant.

It was cold and icy now.

We entered the bar and the waitresses greeted us, I used this opportunity to steal my hand back from Edward. "I'll be right back." I motioned towards the bathrooms.

He nodded, "Would you like to sit at the bar?"

I snuck a peek past him and sure as shit there was Jake, luckily he hadn't seen me yet. I just nodded to Edward and quickly ducked into the bathroom.

Maybe if Jake didn't see me come in with Edward he will just think I sat next to him?

First of all, Jake wasn't that dumb. Secondly, if there is nobody there why oh why would I just randomly sit next to Edward when I never sit next to anyone any other time.

Ugh.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror quickly before heading off to face the music; I mean really it wasn't like I ever even had a chance with Jake.

As I turned the corner from the bathroom that would lead me over to the bar area, I ran smack into Edward.

Nice. He decided to wait for me, so we could sit together. Awww. Fuck you!

"I decided to just wait for you. There's nobody here, but I didn't know if you were one of those game machine types?"

Seriously. He had to wait to see if I wanted to sit next to the damn game machine?

I shook my head, "No that's ok."

I followed him, my eyes focused on Jake the entire time. He still hadn't looked up from his cell phone, where he was probably texting his girlfriend anyway.

As I climbed up into the bar stool next to Edward, the scraping of the chair on the floor got Jake's attention. His eyes met mine and he looked from me to Edward.

God. I felt like I was betraying him. But I wasn't!

He walked over to us, "What can I get for you guys tonight?"

"I'll have a glass of Merlot and whatever for the lady." Edward pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

"You want a Miller Lite?" Jake knew what my drink of choice was, and I nodded. He brought us our drinks, his gaze meeting mine one last time before he turned his back to us and he started unloading the dishwasher. I felt like I just wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor.

Oh snap out of it. Is he in your bed every night? No. He's not. Reality check, you are not his girlfriend nor have you ever been. Edward is here, he might actually be interested so don't blow it.

I hated the inner bitch. I think that she thought with our vagina and not our heart. I guessed that's what made her a bitch in the first place.

I sipped my beer, it was nice and cold just the way I liked it. I knew that it was going to go down too easy, and that was not a good thing. I tended to not watch the words that came out of my mouth when I had a little too much to drink.

Edward sipped his wine and we continued our conversation from the restaurant, but the air between us had changed and I think it was a permanent change. The more that I heard Edward say, the more I knew that I would probably not be calling him for a second date.

First of all, he was not an animal lover. That seemed to be a recurring theme with men I dated, and Nessie wasn't exactly something you could overlook. A little conversation and three drinks later, "Well this was nice, but I really need to get going. I'll gladly drop you off at your car."

He felt the doom too.

Jake came over to check on us, and I noticed that when he did he refused to look me in the eyes even though I had been staring at him. "This on the same check or separate?"

That struck me as an odd question. Was he holding out hope that I wasn't there on a date and just friends with the wine sipper?

"Same." Edward answered already pulling a fifty out of his wallet. I sure hope he at least left Jake a damn nice tip.

We pulled back into the parking lot of the restaurant and parked right next to my car. "Well thanks for the evening Edward."

Can we say awkward?

"You're welcome. Thank you for your company, have a nice evening Bella." I opened the door of the Volvo and climbed out, not looking back in case he thought I wanted a kiss or something. Shutting the door behind me I breathed a sigh of relief, and Edward pulled out and drove away without even making sure I got in my car.

Ouch.

Of course it was my fault. I climbed in my car and started the engine, and pointed it in the direction of home. What else was I going to do tonight? Go back to Jake's bar alone?

Hardly. What exactly would that solve? Maybe it was good he thought I was somewhere with sex hair, maybe he would realize that he was actually interested in me and… Oh fuck what am I thinking?

I made plans to go tomorrow and get myself a book or something because you know going to Barnes and Noble and getting a self-help book is better than actually going to a doctor. They had to have something there that could give me some kind of direction.