"I need a friend - oh, I need friendto make me happy,not so alone....... " – Black, Wonderful Life

Effy was cold. She could feel her body shivering uncontrollably under the blankets; her hands were taken over by violent tremors as she adjusted herself on her bed. Effy was cold. It took her a moment to register where she was, she didn't remember falling asleep but it didn't seem to matter. It had only been blackness, a vast dark space behind her closed eyelids as she had lain on her bed too tired to cry, too drained to move a single muscle.

The darkness had scared her yet she couldn't get away from it. It was only black around her, an endless vacuum where she had been trapped and seemed incapable to wake up from until now.

She looked around, her limbs still shaking violently as she felt shivers running up and down her spine. She vaguely noted that her teeth where knocking against each other in her effort to recognize the room. It looked familiar as if something inside herself told her that she had spent many hours there before, maybe she had even lived there. But it felt strange, suffocating and she couldn't push away the feeling of being trapped in an unknown room too small for a person yet big enough to give her a sense of infinite emptiness.

She spotted a picture of a young man and a girl on the desk, his dark brown hair and blue eyes staring at her. She could feel a rush of emotions running in her veins as she studied his features, his eyes, yet something was blocking her mind and she couldn't tell who that boy was. The girl looked familiar too. She supposed that could have been her, in another life perhaps. She was smiling. She couldn't remember ever smiling. She didn't think she would ever smile.

She looked away from the picture when she felt two soft weights across her body. Effy turned her eyes directly to her side and it didn't surprise her to see someone lying there, the voices bouncing off inside her skull made sure to let her know that they would never leave her alone. She was taken hostage by them and she knew there was nothing she could do about it.

But the sleeping form next to her didn't feel like it wanted to hurt her, unlike the many shrieks of pain and violent commands being shouted in her head. Instead, it looked familiar, welcome…Maybe someone she had loved. Effy couldn't imagine herself ever loving anyone. She brushed the blonde hair away from the person's face with shaky hands making every effort she could to place that person, she wanted to know who they were, she needed to know. She didn't want to face the voices alone.

"Panda" she heard herself say, only a soft shaky breath escaping her lips. The name tasted sweet in her mouth.

She felt something move on the other side of the bed and she turned her head to face a couple of brown eyes staring down at her. The girl in front of her rubbed her palms against her eyes propping herself on her elbow, Effy saw dark circles under them and supposed she had just woken up from an unquiet sleep. Something inside her told her that she knew her too, her presence was comfortable. Maybe they had been friends. Effy couldn't remember having friends; she didn't think she ever would – except maybe in some very distant past, maybe in another life.

"Hey." The girl said, opening her eyes again to stare into Effy's. She wracked her brain for a name, almost panicking at not being able to place the person lying next to her – she probably would have panicked if it wasn't for the strange sense of familiarity in her voice. Maybe she could trust her. Maybe she could help her. "How are you?"

Effy couldn't answer. She looked at the girl's features under the sunlight that seemed to creep inside the room. Her dark red hair shone in the light, disheveled from sleep. She looked like she had been crying. Effy turned her face away from her, looking up at the white ceiling instead. It looked empty. She felt empty.

"Effy…" she heard the girl say, as she took her hand in hers. Effy couldn't remember anything.

She shivered in pain as a strange feeling rushed through her constricted veins, she knew something terrible had happened the night before, or so she thought, something terrible had happened that had suddenly taken something from her, something that she could never replace. It had made her empty. It had made her helpless. Yet she couldn't know, she couldn't remember. The images in her mind were blurred, only darkness, black and strong red patches flashing in and out of her sight. Fear. Betrayal. Guilt. Loneliness. Love.

The voices in her head grew louder, shrieks and shouts and tortures of all kinds playing in front of her eyes. They were getting closer, she could tell. They were clawing their way in from that other world, that terrifying world she had run away from. She could feel a chilling spiting breeze as they finally breached through, making a tiny opening in whatever it was that was keeping them away from her.

They were getting closer.

No one could protect her.

This time, no one could drive them away.

This time, he couldn't drive them away.

Naomi opened her eyes slowly, running a hand through her face as she tried to wake herself up. It had been an odd dream and she still felt eerily shaken from it. She had dreamt of Emily first, of being happy in Emily's embrace. Then she had seen Cook's pained face, disfigured by the beating he had endured. She remembered feeling rage and sadness overwhelming her as she saw flashes of that psycho holding a bat in a dark room. She had shouted at him, she had tried to reach him, to beat him the same way he had beaten Cook. The same way he had beaten Freddie. But she couldn't get anywhere near.

Instead she saw what looked like young Karen and Effy running at him with stuffed animal toys and beating him to the ground. He had then turned into some sort of monster-looking human-sized toy, some sort of vile creature with no eyes and the skin texture of a rubber chicken. It was ridiculous.

She remembered herself shrinking to Karen and Effy's size - albeit their clothing that looked just like the ones they always wore, they looked like they were about 6 or 7 years old. She joined them, a stuffed colourful caterpillar on her hand as the three of them seemed to destroy the ugly looking monster toy into a thousand pieces of cotton fluff and ripped plastic. The others had joined them too, they all looked tiny with rosy cheeks and cheeky smiles, and she remembered Pandora had a lollipop in her mouth.

Then Freddie had appeared from behind a door and they had all rushed to him before everything turned black again. And Naomi saw blood all around her and Cook's broken face lying in a hospital bed, and Effy broken in the street, and Freddie's lifeless body…

She was glad she had woken up, only a few drops of cold sweat running on her forehead.

She heard the door open and she looked up to see Emily sliding under the blanket next to her. She pulled her in for a kiss, keeping their foreheads together.

"How are you? You were mumbling about caterpillars and giraffes in your sleep. Something about a weird monster too, I dunno…" Emily said letting a small smile lighten her features.

"Yeah… Just my brain being oddly incoherent." She rolled her eyes at her and lied back against her pillow. She closed her eyes willing herself to forget the darkest parts of the dream; apparently Emily hadn't heard her mumble about that. She looked at her watch briefly, it was early in the night and she could see the room getting darker as the sun was setting lower and lower in the skyline. She hadn't slept for too long.

She felt Emily moving in the bed, propping herself on her elbow as she brushed Naomi's hair away from her face.

"Katie just called…" Emily whispered as she ran her hands in Naomi's hair, her voice was small and shaky. Naomi looked up at her in concern.

"How is she? How are the others?" she asked, she could tell her voice sounded small too, almost as if they both were too afraid to bring up the subject. Emily sighed and Naomi could almost feel her breath on her face.

"Katie's fine, shaken obviously…" She took a deep breath, she looked like she was trying to blink away most of the memories from the night before. "She spent the night, well, most of the day at Effy's. Pandora and Katie took care of her apparently…Katie sounded scared, Naoms."

"Scared for Effy?" Naomi asked, propping herself up on her elbow too and reaching out to caress Emily's arm.

"Yeah." Emily closed her eyes again, letting a couple of tears run on her cheeks. Naomi brushed them away with her thumb before pulling Emily against her body, her head resting in the crook of her neck. "Katie says…Katie says she isn't talking, she just isn't making any sort of sound anymore. She just lies there, staring up into nothing and… She just looks beaten."

Naomi let out a sigh as she stroked Emily's vibrant red hair. She hadn't been close to Freddie yet she could still feel a stabbing pain when she thought of him, of him being… She could barely bring herself to think it. She imagined how it felt for Katie, for JJ, for Karen…for Effy.

She had just been released again, and now it wasn't like they could just take her back to that hospital. She wouldn't want to go. As her friends, they wouldn't let her go back there. Not to the same place where she had met the man that had turned their lives upside down with such brutality it had left them breathless.

"Yesterday she looked so…She looked in so much pain, Naomi, writhing and shrieking and…She looked like she was under a fucking cruciatus curse, Naomi." Naomi almost let herself chuckle at Emily's reference, her girlfriend had made her read all the volumes of that book despite her protests and although it seemed childish to admit it, it sounded like a good image to describe Effy's state despite the seriousness of the situation.

She let Emily rest against her chest for a few more minutes, letting her calm down for a bit. She knew she wasn't just concerned for Effy – of course she was concerned, Emily always worried about other people – but they had never been close. No, Emily was worried for Freddie, for a friend that had been taken away from them violently. For her sister who wouldn't let herself feel until her emotionally weaker friend had recovered. She was worried for everything and everyone who had been affected that night. Emily was worrying for the others so she wouldn't have to feel her own pain.

She kissed the top of Emily's head lightly. She felt her relax under her touch, taking a deep breath against her neck.

"How are you?" Naomi asked, kissing Emily's hair again, rubbing her back trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible in her arms. She knew she needed to make Emily talk about her own feelings, how she felt… She couldn't let her just worry about the others, she didn't have to be the strong one. Emily had been there for her when she looked after Cook, she needed to be here for Emily now, to hold her close and let her cry.

"I don't know…" Naomi felt that it was the most honest answer Emily could give her. She didn't even know how she felt herself. "The night was just too…eventful."

"Yeah…Eventful." Naomi repeated, she was now drawing little patterns on Emily's back.

"We…we went to the police station after you left with Cook…" Emily started again, her voice was hoarse. She didn't want to talk about her feelings; maybe she wasn't capable of doing so yet. Naomi decided to let her.

"They brought us in to take our statements, how we knew Freddie, Cook, Foster…" she continued, she was now tracing patterns against Naomi's stomach too. "They said they still hadn't found Freddie's…" she heard Emily swallow a sob. "They said that with the amount of blood they found in the house and on the clothes…They said that, Freddie's probably dead… It's only a matter of time before they figure out where that man hid him."

Her voice sounded strained as if every word was hurting her. Naomi wanted to make the pain go away, but she didn't know how – she didn't even think it was possible. So she just held Emily closer.

"I have never known the likes of this, I've been alone and I have missed things and kept out of sight - but other girls were never quite like this" – I've Just Seen a Face, The Beatles

They woke up very early the next morning. When they opened their blinds, they realized the sun hadn't even come out yet. They didn't care that it was barely five in the morning though; neither of them had slept very well. Naomi certainly didn't feel like staying in bed any longer if her girlfriend's arms weren't around her.

So they both jumped out of bed and after Emily had finally managed to push Naomi under the shower assuring her that Cook could wait a couple more hours, she went down to the kitchen to make some tea.

She turned the kettle on and then moved to the fridge considering what she could make for breakfast. She couldn't expect Naomi to cook; she was shit in the kitchen when she was at her best, so all Emily could do today was avoid having to deal with a cooking disaster, like an explosion or something equally destructive.

She sighed when she realized that the only things left in the fridge were half empty bottles of alcohol, a painful reminder of their last months together. She closed her eyes, determined on forbidding herself to think about that, they were going through enough and their relationship was certainly not something Emily wanted to think about at the moment. She knew there was a lot they needed to talk about, things weren't as simple as she wished, but for now they were happy together. Mostly, they needed to be happy in each other's arms so they could handle the rest.

She opened her eyes again, pushing her thoughts aside. She looked around the fridge, moving the countless bottles of beer or whatever Naomi and Cook had been drinking in the past week. After throwing away about five cartons of expired milk and another four empty vodka bottles, she finally managed to find the eggs Naomi had bought a couple of days before.

They had never gotten around eating them and they still looked fine so Emily decided to pull out a pan and just make some scrambled eggs. She could feel her stomach grumble when she remembered neither of them had eaten anything for over twenty four hours.

Naomi soon appeared at the bottom of the stairs, her hair wet from the shower. She had only bothered to throw an old t-shirt over her underwear and Emily couldn't help but notice how attractive her legs looked when she walked in the kitchen. She had missed being able to look at her like that, to allow herself to stare and lust over her girlfriend. She let her eyes wander over the girl's body, unconsciously licking her lips. As if the mere sight of her was enough, all her inner thoughts about having to discuss their relationship evaporated. They had the rest of their lives to talk.

"Ems. Hey, Ems – you there?" She looked up startled; Naomi was waving her hands in front of her face trying to get her attention. She felt her cheeks flush as she realized she might have been staring for way too long and had missed whatever Naomi was telling her.

She was about to say something, anything to explain her current embarrassment but when she looked up at Naomi's face she saw her smirking brightly at her, wiggling her eyebrows in a ridiculously excessive suggestive manner. Emily giggled, her cheeks still flushed, but before she could say anything Naomi's lips were pressed against hers and she let herself melt under her touch.

They pulled away several minutes later, breathless and with strands of hair pointing pretty much in every direction. Emily realized she had missed their impromptu morning make out sessions; she would do anything to wake up to that every morning. The eggs, however, would respectfully disagree. It was a bit ironic that Emily had decided to cook so they could actually eat but the end result had been about as bad as if she had let Naomi near any cooking utensil.

"Shit." She said looking down at the miserable blackened bits of what once used to be clear white eggs. She would blame her culinary slip on Naomi's – well – heated intervention. She wondered if her interventions weren't, in fact, the real reason behind Naomi's destructive cooking skills.

"And I love you too." The blonde said, moving over to grab some cups for them in the top cupboard. Emily never seemed to be able to reach them without her help. She poured some tea in each of the cups, picking Emily's favourite one for her, and then settled down at the table.

"Yeah, well – thanks to you, we're not having any breakfast." Emily answered playfully "Those -" she pointed to the pan "- were the only thing edible in this house. So now, we have to starve because nothing is open yet."

"Yeah, well, you still love me. You can't deny it Fitch." She responded, trying to look unfazed as she pulled out a newspaper but failing miserably as Emily could still see her lips curling up in a smile.

"No I don't." Emily decided to just continue their pleasantries; it was a nice break from the dark cloud of events that seemed to have settled above their lives in the past forty eight hours. "Right now, I'd love eggs. And cheese. In fact, right now I love cheese. Not you, Campbell."

"Oh, Fitch." Naomi shook her head comically. "You know, you can't fool me. In fact, I have written proof that you do love me more than you love cheese." She stood up from her chair, pointing dramatically towards the blackboard in the hall as if it were a case-breaking piece of evidence in a murder case.

"As you can see, the subject – here, well, you – has confessed under official record. Therefore, you are now contradicting your previous official statement and could be charged with obstruction of the law for lying in court." She looked confused for a moment as if she weren't sure if what she said made sense.

"Which means that you have just been proven guilty of loving me more than cheese." She sat back down proudly. "Lawyer-ed."

Emily had to bite hard on her tongue so as not to burst out laughing at her girlfriend's performance. Instead, she quirked one of her eyebrows and stared at her defiantly.

"Is that so? Because, in that case your honour" She leaned in dangerously close to Naomi's face, her hand lightly running up Naomi's naked thigh and stopping to play with the hem of her shirt. She saw her licking her lips, her breath caught in her throat. "I might love you more than cheese but now I feel like having some gateau. And until I have some - you – are not getting any." She pulled away just before their lips touched, leaving her girlfriend successfully flustered on her chair.

"But – But we're lobsters. We're supposed to mate for life. You know!" She mimicked lobster claws holding each other with her fingers, moving her arms around to imitate some kind of lobster walk. Emily almost choked in her tea, failing miserably at looking composed. "So, we should start already – shouldn't we?"

"Well, if we're mating for life, I really don't see what the rush is..." The redhead merely pointed out, taking another sip of tea and pulling the newspaper towards her end of the table so she could read the headlines.

"I might have some garibaldi's up in our room." Emily actually laughed as she watched Naomi run up the stairs to get her the biscuits.

It felt good to be able to joke with her again, to actually see Naomi smile when not under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She felt like she hadn't smiled in months herself, at least not an honest smile. It felt good, and it helped them forget everything that was going on around them. In fact, just being able to be with Naomi, really be with her, was enough to make Emily forget about the rest of the world. And really, she was glad she'd ran up the stairs so promptly because she had been about to give in to her pleas and discard breakfast completely. She probably would give in before even opening the pack of Garibaldi's anyway.

Her train of thought was interrupted however, as she saw Naomi's face when she entered the kitchen again. Her phone was hanging from her hand and her expression was much more serious now.

"What's happened?" Emily asked concerned, she didn't dare to move from her seat.

"JJ called." She said. Her voice was small and shaky.

"Naomi, what's happened?" She stood up now, urgently rushing towards her girlfriend.

"Cook has to go back into surgery." She was shaking. Emily held on to her shoulders and helped her sit down on the chair next to them. "'Says he woke up 'bout half an hour ago, didn't remember much but then he started to feel a lot of pain and he shouldn't be in pain, so the doctors figured they had to take him back into surgery so they could fix whatever's going wrong and" she swallowed a sob "He's awake now, under pain killers but awake."

"When's the surgery, Naomi?"

"JJ says they'll take him in about an hour. They're still prepping him." Emily didn't hear the rest of the sentence; she was already running up the stairs towards their room. "What are you doing?" She heard Naomi shout from the kitchen.

"I'm getting you some pants. " She threw her a pair of jeans from the top of the stairs. "Get dressed; we're going to the hospital." She didn't hear any movement, so she popped her head out of the room to check on her. "Well?! Didn't you want to go see Cook like as soon as we woke up?!"

"Yeah but – I thought you'd stop me from going and – Oi! I'm the one who's supposed to be desperate to be there!" Emily was amazed at how much Naomi could sound like a five year old when the subject was James Cook. She half expected her to start pouting.

"Yeah well, I'm taking over. Come on get dressed and let's go." She ran back down the stairs, a pair of shoes in each hand and a bag in each shoulder. Food and their much awaited make up sex would have to wait, Cook needed them. Well, Cook needed Naomi and she had to make sure she was there with him.

A couple of minutes later and Naomi had managed to slip on her jeans as well as a pair of shoes. They were soon both settled on Emily's scooter and headed for the hospital.

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A sort of ridiculous attempt of mine at Naomily fluff for the last part... Still not quite happy at how it turned out - but hell, I got sick of the angst. Needed a short break. :) So here it is, short but hopefully it'll make everyone feel a bit better. Probably more angst next chapter though, I can't really escape from it. Also, I just watched Pan's Labyrinth and after throwing several m-rated random Spanish curses at the screen (the Captain is about as horrifying as Foster in my mind, and the eyeless thing scared the shit out of me. I had to result to a pillow fort. Yes i'm a 18 year old hiding in pillow forts.) I feel quite angsty. On a side-note, Foster actually haunted me in my dream last night. So did Sophia. WTF.

Disclaimer: I do not own Skins. However, Mandy did attack me in my dream last night. She had joined forces with Foster. Sophia had to save me. WTF.