Seriyu: Guys, you are awesome! I have gotten so many reviews and pm's asking me to continue my fics I decided I really needed to try to turn something out. All series are still on hiatus but, I felt I needed to do something for my fans. Before I write another chapter though, I intend to rewatch the Clannad series with focus on Kyou and Kotomi so I can really write this as well as you have come to expect. Again, thank you readers! Especially readers who favorite/message/review. Please keep it up, your feedback gives me the encouragement to continue.

Winter Twilight

Kyou had caught back up to Tomoya but now was completely unsure of what to say to him. They were almost within view of her apartment now and most of the trip had been made in complete silence save for the sound of footsteps on concrete. Tomoya had even managed to stay at least an arm's reach away the whole time since they left the bakery.

'I can't just blurt out, 'Of course they still care! They sent me to keep an eye on you!' That wouldn't help anything.' Kyou thought to herself as she stared off into the distance. 'But then, how do I make him understand? He thinks they are lying to him to keep him from feeling worse. How do I fix this?'

Kyou's head began to throb as she fought with herself over what to do next. She closed her eyes for a few seconds trying to suppress the pain and think of what to say to Tomoya. She closed out the rest of the world and focused intently on the problem, perhaps a little too intently.

"Hey, watch it!" Tomoya yelled and grabbed Kyou's arm. Kyou found herself pulled tight against Tomoya's chest. Finally coming into awareness of her surroundings, Kyou noticed that she was halfway into an intersection, wrapped in Tomoya's arms with a motorcycle speeding off into the distance. "What's wrong with you?! You almost got hit!"

"Sorry," Kyou said quietly, her face turning a little red both from embarrassment and being held by Tomoya, "I think I'm ok though. Guess I just wasn't paying attention."

Tomoya began looking Kyou over, causing her to blush harder. Tomoya looked at Kyou's arm and noticed a tear in her sleeve. A little red was beginning to seep through the fabric, "Looks like that bastard got you after all," Tomoya growled.

Kyou was finally becoming aware of a stinging across her arm and raised the damaged limb for her own inspection. The biker must have clipped her with his mirror since the injury wasn't very deep nor had the bike been knocked off course. Both had been lucky, Kyou noted, that things had not been worse. Although, on her end of things, Kyou was feeling pretty happy with the situation, despite the rapidly intensifying pain in her arm and shoulder.

"Oh, looks like he did." Kyou let out a little bit of a dry laugh, "Well, it's my own fault. I should pay more attention and stop spacing out."

"Well, we're almost to your apartment. I'll get you back there and help you bandage it up." Tomoya started to release Kyou's arm and continue the trek toward Kyou's apartment building. He slid his hand down her arm to her wrist and kept a gentle hold with one hand. "This time I think I better hold onto you while you cross the street. Feels like I'm helping an old lady or something."

For a moment, Kyou just basked in the joy of touching Tomoya and walking across the street with him. Halfway across though, Tomoya's snide comment finally registered and the elated feeling she had was replaced by a familiar old feeling of aggravation. "Excuse me…?"

"Oh, it's nothing, come on now granny, we need to get you home."

"Tomoya…" Kyou's voice had taken on a harsh tone she hadn't used since high school, "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" Kyou withdrew her hand from Tomoya and raised it threateningly over Tomoya.

"Crap!" Tomoya ducked under Kyou's hook and started running toward the apartment building, "You know I didn't mean anything by it, Kyou!"

"I know nothing of the sort! Now get your ass back here and take what's coming to you, jerk!" Kyou yelled back as she chased Tomoya through the front door of the building.

"Kyou, I'm sorry! Will you please stop trying to kill me?" Tomoya was running out of breath as he rounded a flight of stairs on the third floor. He fell out on the landing and began tapping the ground. "Uncle!"

"Oh, you think you're getting off that easy do you?" Kyou said looming over Tomoya's defenseless form. "I should tie you to a chair and pry off your fingernails while you tell me what a beautiful young woman I am."

"Wha-?! Geez, Kyou, why are you saying scary stuff like that again? I haven't heard anything like that out of you since high school…"

Kyou began laughing at the terrified expression on Tomoya's face. In many ways, her laugh actually seemed more frightening than what she actually said about torturing him.

"You know what? You're right, I haven't said anything harsh like that in years." Kyou's laughter calmed and she helped pull Tomoya back to his feet. She followed through with a firm smack to Tomoya's back, nearly sending him back down the three flights of stairs. "Lucky for you we don't have to go back downstairs. You collapsed on my floor at least."

"How fortunate for me…" Tomoya started to chuckle a little himself as he followed Kyou to her door. He noticed that a sizeable patch of cloth on her arm had now turned red and he heard Kyou hiss as she pulled out her keys.

"Yep, adrenaline is all gone now…now it hurts." Kyou finally unlocked the door to her apartment and flipped on the lights. She walked straight into the bathroom and went about finding the medical kit kept in the cabinet, then returned to the couch in the common room to tend to her wound. "I guess this must be karma for nearly running you over way back in the day."

"Huh? Oh, right! I almost forgot about you and the BI-ke incidents." Tomoya intentionally drew out the bi part of the statement which succeeded in getting Kyou giggling again. "How long did it take you to convince Ryou that I was making that up?"

"Nearly all day!" Kyou's giggling caused her to scrape an alcohol wipe a little too hard against the cut on her arm, drawing out another hiss. "Ouch! Damnit, don't make me laugh like this right now…I'm trying to play nurse."

"Might go a little better if you had an extra hand." Tomoya stepped over to the couch and pulled a roll of gauze out of the medkit. "I may not be good for anything much, but I think I can still wrap a bandage well enough to pass."

"I guess I can let you touch an old bat like me," Kyou shot Tomoya a half-hearted death glare, "After all, even if you mess it up, I'll have Ryou fix me up when she gets home."

"I forgot about that. Ryou said she was going to school to become a nurse. I guess she made it, huh?"

"Yeah, she's on the night shift at the new hospital. She says she loves it. Not the night shift really, but getting the chance to help people like that." Kyou started to look a little distant as she recalled how hard Ryou had worked to finish the nursing program in college. Ryou had finished in record time like the good student she had always been. It had made Kyou proud of her little sister and helped drive her on. At the same time though, Kyou's mind went a different direction completely, she began to also think about their past, high school, the first time she met Tomoya, the day her sister told her about the crush she had on Okazaki. Everything came right back to her.

Kyou shrugged it off and went back to trying to delicately clean the scrap on her arm. By now it had bruised and she was finding it very difficult not to cry shearly due to how tender the spot had become.

"If you want to do something else useful," Kyou said through another hiss, "Talk to me and distract me from how bad this hurts."

"Uh, talk? About what?"

"Anything. Work, school, life in general. I'll even let you get away with telling me how old I look now." Kyou stuck her tongue out at Tomoya after the last statement.

"Oh come on, Kyou. You know I was joking. You look great."

"YAHAAAAAOWIE!" Kyou shrieked as she accidentally jabbed a finger right into the most tender part of her arm. Now she was barely holding back tears. "Oh…really…nice of you to say so…"

"Kyou, let me help you with that. You just seem to be hurting yourself more like that." Tomoya grabbed a tube of anesthetic and squeezed some out onto his finger. He began to carefully spread the ointment onto Kyou's arm. Kyou quietly watched and let out a little sigh of relief after he had wrapped her arm and tied the bandage off.

"That does make things much easier. And who would have thought a bum like you could be so helpful?" Kyou poked at Tomoya's cheek with her free hand but stopped when she noticed the serious look on his face. "Tomoya…?"

"Sorry, I just…" Tomoya became very quiet, "I guess I must be tired or something."

"Don't apologize," Kyou's response was little more than a whisper, "I really shouldn't have said something so insensitive. I know you're a very good caretaker. I'm sorry, Tomoya."

"Heh, yeah…well, I guess I got a lot of practice taking care of the sick and injured myself…maybe I should look into becoming a doctor myself." Tomoya's speech was full of hidden bitterness, something Kyou was able to sense through his words. She could see the pain starting to spread across his face. He was thinking about Nagisa and how she got sick back in high school and he would always go to see her and take care of her while she was out. It was true, he was very good at being gentle with someone whose health wasn't the best and that was because of experience.

As Kyou looked into Tomoya's eyes she could see each memory as it passed through, almost like someone watching a movie. His subtle movements and facial expressions gave away everything he was thinking about and feeling

And Kyou could tell, most of the memories he was recalling were not the happy ones. Not at all like what they had been laughing about on the way there. He seemed to have all but forgotten that anything good had ever come of his time with Nagisa.

"Tomoya," Kyou was not doing well with her emotional battle either. Her voice cracked a little as she tried to hold back, "Do you mind staying a little while? It's been forever since we talked. A lot has happened."

"I really don't know what to talk about. My life has been pretty dull…"

"How can you say something like that!?" Kyou shot up off the couch and stared wide-eyed at Tomoya, "I would say a lot has happened since the last time I talked to you!"

"Nothing I want to think about right now, Kyou!" Tomoya's voice was firm and loud. Even though he was not yelling the intensity he spoke with scared her a little. She had gone too far too fast. She had taken a step into a part of Tomoya's heart that had been torn apart and locked up. Tomoya stood face to face with her, fists clenched and shoulder shaking. "Do NOT bring this up like it's some kind of casual dinner conversation topic…If I had…If I had never…"

Tomoya sank back down onto the couch and hid his face in his hands. For a long time neither of them said a word. Kyou just stood and watched as Tomoya fell apart again, regretting everything that had made him the person he was.

"If I had never talked to her…maybe she would still be here now…"

"Tomoya…" Kyou scooted next to Tomoya and cautiously hugged him. She didn't know what else to say or do. Holding on to him was all she could think of to do, probably because she had spent so much time learning how to comfort children. She never had to think about comforting someone who lost their wife, at worst, she might have to deal with a scraped knee or lost toys.

'Well, try to put yourself in his shoes. What would you want to hear, Kyou?' Kyou started trying to play out the situation in her mind. She tried to picture herself with Tomoya living together happily, then watching something terrible happening to Tomoya. She started to cry into Tomoya's shoulder, surprising him. She squeezed Tomoya tighter and began to sob a little harder.

"I can't say that I really know what you have been through. But…don't ever think that Nagisa would have regretted anything." Kyou looked up into Tomoya's eyes. "I know that I wouldn't. I'm sure she felt the same way."

Tomoya broke in to sobs and went back to hiding his face while Kyou kept her tight hold on Tomoya's torso. "I want to believe that…"

"Tomoya, please do both of us a favor." Kyou reached up to Tomoya's face and turned it toward her, Cobalt blue eyes blinking back tears as he complied, "Try to spend more time with your daughter."

"I can't…It's…"

"Please…? If you want me to, I'll try to be there with you to support you…Will that help?"

Tomoya looked really thoughtful for a moment before turning his eyes away from Kyou again. He did say anything. He didn't make any indication one way or another. He slowly stood and started toward the door. "Sorry for getting all emotional on you. I'll see you later."

"Wait a second!" Kyou shouted at the door. She wiped her eyes and followed Tomoya to the door. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face her. "You had better not forget that one way or another we're going to have dinner with Ushio again later." The forced smile was back on Kyou's face, back in teacher mode. "And I want a chance for us to get together again to catch up. Just you and me, ok?"

"Ok…I guess that will be fine." Tomoya seemed to have stabilized himself quite a bit too, although there was a sizeable wet patch on the sleeve of his shirt.

"Alright then." Kyou gave Tomoya another hug then took a couple of steps back into the apartment, "Now go on home, I have to take a bath."

"Pfft! Like I want to see a naked old lady…" Tomoya scoffed and pretended to be sick. They both let out a couple of dry laughs. Tomoya looked back at Kyou as she stood in her doorway and gave her a little smile, "Thanks, Kyou. I haven't laughed like that in a long time."

Kyou leaned her head against the door frame and crossed her arms, "All the more reason to come see me more often. Next time I'll break out the sock puppets like I do for the kids."

A strange mental image shot through Tomoya's mind as he thought about Kyou playing with sock puppets. It proved to just be too much and burst out into a very loud fit of laughter.

"Hey, what's that for? My sock puppet routine is so good even Kotomi would understand the humor!" Kyou acted extremely serious but ended up rolling out laughing herself as she attempted to feign being upset with his reaction. Mention of Kotomi made Tomoya start to laugh harder to the point he collapsed on the ground.

"I would pay to see you putting on a sock puppet show for Kotomi! That is the funniest thing I have ever heard of!"

"Maybe next time," Kyou giggled, "Just make sure you come back."

"Right," Tomoya began to pick himself up. "Well, I'll be going now."

"Alright, be careful walking home." Kyou stepped forward and poked Tomoya in the chest, "Because if you get hurt by some biker, I'll come to your hospital room and stick needles in your face while you're unconscious."

"Gyah?! Geez Kyou, and here I was starting to think you were being kinda cute and sweet…I see that you're still the same old Kyou."

"Oh come on, you should know better than to think I would do that. Besides, if I did, Ryou could fix you up later."

"Comforting I suppose. Well, I'm going home. Tell Ryou I said hello, ok?"

"I will. Thanks for walking me home and...this." Kyou held up her bandaged arm.

"Yeah, well, I'd still have Ryou take another shot at it later. I doubt I'm as good as her at patching people up."

"Well, here's something for your effort anyway." Kyou hugged Tomoya with her good arm and looked up at him. A look of complete shock settled on his face, clearly he wasn't expecting the contact. "Don't think you're off the hook on dinner with Ushio and me. And…" Kyou squeezed tighter, "I want one date for just us. Not a chance you are getting out of that."

"No sense arguing that with you. Just let me know when works."

"Good, now, go home before you get an eye full of something you might not want to see." Kyou stepped back and stuck her tongue out at Tomoya again as she backed through the door to her apartment.

"Yeah, yeah. Goodnight, Kyou." Tomoya smirked and rubbed the back of his head.

"Goodnight, Tomoya." Kyou said as she closed the door. She turned back to the empty apartment and leaned against the door. The room seemed colder all of a sudden, she hadn't noticed before while Tomoya was there, but now it seemed cold and dark to her.

Kyou made her way to the couch and began to collect the scattered med kit. She packed everything messily back into the box and put it back on its shelf in the bathroom. She returned to the couch and dropped into the cushions, accidentally leaning her weight onto her damaged arm. She hissed a little and opted to lay down on the other arm of the couch to keep her weight off of the fresh bandages.

'All in all, not a bad night I guess.' Kyou thought as she closed her eyes. 'I did get to talk to him a lot. And he and Ushio are going to see each other more now.'

Kyou dozed off with a smile on her face as she thought about Tomoya and Ushio together. She knew that was the way things should be. Even so, a selfish part of her wanted to have her with them. She dreamed about what might one day be and the things that could have been, her face changing from soft smiles to frustrated grimaces.

At one point, her mind drifted to what seemed like a different reality. She saw herself walking with Tomoya in their school uniforms. She saw her hair had been cut short as well making her look like her twin sister. As she watched herself and the Tomoya walking down the street holding hands she began to hear Tomoya's voice.

"Kyou…" Tomoya's voice whispered in her ear. She felt one of his hands slide across her arm and her palm finally found its way to Tomoya's cheek. It was softer than she expected.

"Kyou."

She turned her face toward the voice, she felt breath on her cheek and turned her lips toward the source. The hand on her arm moved toward her cheek. His hands felt so soft to her for some reason she couldn't fathom, but she didn't care. She wanted to finally kiss him, after all the years of having missed her chance, now she had it. It was so close.

"KYOU WAKE UP!"

Kyou fell off the couch and pulled her sister to the floor on top of her. In her dreaming, she had nearly kissed her sister, Ryou, and the poor girl was now very much concerned for her sister's sanity.

"Kyou, are you ok?! Your arm was bleeding and you were passed out on the couch and when I touched you, you grabbed me and…and then…you were going to-!" Ryou had been talking very quickly up until she got to what her sister had almost done. She suddenly turned red and covered her mouth, "Sister…are you…is this your way of telling me…?"

"NOOOOOO! Good grief, Ryou! It's a misunderstanding!" Kyou sat up and shook her sister like she was trying to wake her from a deep sleep. "I was having a dream, that's all!"

"Oh…what a relief." Ryou sighed, "But what about your arm, Kyou?"

Kyou looked down at her arm and noticed that she had bled through the bandage and blood had begun to seep down her arm. No doubt it had been the result of her fidgeting in her dreams. It was beginning to look a little bit bad, but not a major issue.

"On my way home I got clipped by a bike." Kyou shrugged as she explained to her sister, "It was totally my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going."

"It's a good thing he missed hitting you straight on."

"Yeah, I have Tomoya to thank for that one I think…"

"He walked you home?!" Ryou blurted out rather loudly, "Was…he here?"

"Yeah, he was. He didn't stay long. He did try to patch me up though."

"I see…" Ryou leaned closer to Kyou's arm and examined the bandage closely, "He really didn't do bad."

"Yeah well, tell that to the cut on my arm that keeps bleeding. You mind taking a shot at it, little sister?"

"Sure, give me a few minutes." Ryou said as she stood and started toward her bedroom, "I'll get some of my stuff to work with so we don't have to use up all the bandages in the bathroom."

"Ok, I'll be here." Kyou responded as she got herself back onto the couch. She sat and thought about the dream she had awakened from.

Kissing him…

She mentally replayed the image several times.

'Where in the heck did all that come from? Why would I dream about getting a haircut and a boyfriend?' Kyou questioned herself. 'Another lifetime maybe?'

Kyou closed her eyes again and saw Tomoya sitting there on her couch, face hidden in his hands, nothing like the Tomoya of her dream. She knew it would be a long road to get him to smile again like she had dreamed. She wanted him to be happy again, no matter what, but she also wanted a chance to be a part of his happiness as well.