Long Distance Call

Chapter 4: Fix You

AN 1: Hey, so it's been literally forever since I've posted. Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to express interest in this story; I know I've been absolutely horrible at posting, but life has been ridiculously busy and other things have had to come first, even though I would rather be writing. So I apologize about that! However, I have not forgotten what I started here, and am planning on finishing this story, even if it does take me forever. Hopefully, at least some of you will bear with me for that, because while the postings will not always be quick, I do have a solid idea and am working on uploading it for your enjoyment. With that being said, here's chapter four of Long Distance Call.

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

-Fix You by Coldplay

Emily's POV:

I stepped off of the commercial plane's boarding ramp nervously. After being gone for seven months, I was more than a little scared to see what I would find. How would my team react to seeing me? How would Derek react to seeing me when the last time he saw me was when I was bleeding out in that cold and empty warehouse? The heels of my boots clicked against the tile as I walked to the baggage claim area. I tapped the phone I held in my right hand against the fingers of my left as I looked around the airport's waiting area anxiously. What was I coming home to?

"Emily!" I barely had time to register the voice that called my name before I was engulfed in a whirlwind of blonde hair and strong arms. Jennifer, I recognized before allowing my arms to wrap around her slim waist. She pulled back just as abruptly as she had caught my attention and punched my shoulder. "I'm so mad at you, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss!" she said angrily.

I looked at her in surprise. This was not a situation I had envisioned when I was flying home for the first time in seven months. "What?" I asked. I had thought we were on the same page of the same book. Apparently not. "What are you talking about?"

"Scaring us like that," she said, her deep blue eyes seeming to pierce my soul as she looked me over. Now that I was face to face with her, I recognized the dark circles under her eyes and the tired look that seemed to haunt her. I had caused her, and our team, so much pain. Not for the first time, I felt a flood of guilt wash over me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered softly. "I don't think I could ever say that enough. I'm so, so sorry, Jayje."

Her face softened, and she gave me a bright smile. "You know I can't stay mad at you, Em. Really and truly, that was left over from your time in the hospital and I just wanted to get it out."

I gaped at her. "Then why on Earth didn't you do that when you saw me in the hospital?"

"Are you kidding me?" she said in a mock incredulous voice. "How could I do that? You just looked so sad in that hospital bed." Her wide smile and the wink she sent in my direction told me she was joking.

"Like you didn't," I countered just as playfully.

"Of course I did," she said, her playful tone fading into one of real concern. "I thought we were losing you."

"I'm sorry," I repeated quietly.

She slung an arm around me and began to lead me towards the door. "Don't be," she said. "I'm sure you've beaten yourself up enough over the last seven months. And in all honesty, I'm just beyond happy that you're home."

I felt my lips tugging upwards into a smile. "Me too," I admitted.

We clambered into the dark, nondescript SUV that JJ had arrived in. As we drove towards Quantico, I stared out the window, lost in thought. "Emily," she called, breaking me out of my dark thoughts. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Calling me when you could," she murmured, causing my head to whip in her direction. "You have no idea what that meant to me." Her hand reached across the center console to grip mine tightly. "Our scrabble games were all well and good, but just being able to hear your voice…God, Em, that was beyond just reassuring, even if it was a one-time deal."

"You have no idea," I replied, just as quietly as her. "Paris was always one of my favorite cities before this, you know. But being stuck there, knowing what you were going through back here, and having no way out killed me. I felt like a prisoner in my own skin, and in my own mind, JJ. I know I probably shouldn't have risked calling you at all, but I can't say I regret it one bit. Hearing your voice for just a second kept me sane. You kept me going, and you didn't even know it at the time." I looked at her intently. "How's Henry?"

She smiled. "He never stopped asking for you, you know. He'd ask me every chance he got about his Aunty Emmy."

I chuckled as I pictured the little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy. "I'd like to see him again," I admitted.

"Well, since you're staying with me until we can get your condo back from the subletter we had to allow into the place, I think that can be arranged. Deal?"

"Deal," I repeated, grinning at the thought of seeing the little boy.

Over twenty-four hours later, I found myself staring at the interior of JJ's guest bedroom. "It's not much," JJ said from her position by the door. "Especially when you think about how much space you had in the bedroom of your condo alone. But I hope that it'll be okay."

I took in the modest room and smiled. "It's perfect," I replied, turning to look at her. As my torso twisted, I winced and placed a hand over my abdomen as a brief flash of pain shot through me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, moving closer to me.

I waved off her concern. "Yeah," I said with a swift smile. "It's just the surgical scar. Pulls sometimes, you know." Her eyes continued to watch me with concern, and I sighed. "Really, Jayje, it's nothing serious." I searched my brain for a way to change the conversation. "Where are Will and Henry?"

"Will had plans to meet up with some friends in New Orleans this weekend," she replied. "He'd wanted to get together with them for weeks now, so we had worked a time for him to go, which just happened to be this weekend. I was supposed to be home, but then the whole Doyle thing exploded. He had already left, so I got my neighbor, Mrs. Jenkins, to watch Henry for me while we were on the case."

"I'm sorry," I murmured for the umpteenth time since I had returned.

"Don't be," she replied. "Don't apologize for being alive, Emily. Henry knows that I have to go away sometimes. And you're my best friend; there was no way I was going to sit this one out." She flashed me a reassuring smile. "I was actually about to go get him. Do you want to come with me?"

The thought of seeing the little boy made me smile despite the guilt I still felt at all the pain I had caused in the last seven months. "Of course," I replied. Together, we walked the short distance to Mrs. Jenkins house and she raised her hand to knock. "Is he going to be mad at me?" I asked nervously while we waited for someone to open the door.

"Of course not," she replied reassuringly. "If anything, be prepared for a really big hug. He asks about you all the time, you know."

Before I had a chance to respond, the door opened, revealing Henry and an elderly woman, who I assumed was Mrs. Jenkins, in the doorway. "Emmy!" he called happily, and leapt towards me.

"Whoa, you're getting so big," I said, picking him up quickly.

"I missed you!" he exclaimed, wrapping his small arms around my neck and giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

I smiled widely in his direction. "I missed you too, buddy," I replied, tickling his belly as I did so. He giggled and pushed my hand away. "You should probably say hi to your mom though, right?" I handed him off to JJ and sent an apologetic look her way.

"Hey, little man," she said. "Were you good for Mrs. Jenkins?"

The woman gave JJ a reassuring smile. "I don't think I've ever met such a well-behaved young man," she said in a slightly wheezy voice. "He certainly is your son, Jennifer; he's ever so polite."

"Thank you," she replied, before fixing her son with another look. "What do we say to Mrs. Jenkins, Henry?"

"Thank you," he exclaimed, flashing a wide grin at the woman. JJ placed him back on the ground, and I felt a wide smile break out across my face as he grabbed my hand instantly.

"Oh, you're certainly welcome, honey," she replied. "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me." She waved off any other attempts to thank her and shut the door with a smile.

"Emmy," Henry said as we walked home, his hands clutching both mine and JJ's. "Are you going away again?"

"I hope not, buddy," I replied, swinging his hand as we walked. "Your mommy said that I could stay the night, is that okay with you?"

The little boy's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates at my response. "Yes!" he exclaimed, jumping in excitement.

The night was spent simply catching up and enjoying each other's company. I laughed more in those couple of hours than I had since I had first heard that Doyle had escaped prison. "I told you he wouldn't be mad at you," JJ said to me after we had put Henry to bed for the night.

I smiled. "Even so, it's good to see it for myself."

JJ laughed as we walked down the hallway. "He adores you, Em. And you're so good with him."

I chuckled. "Ah, well, he makes it easy. Mrs. Jenkins was right; he really is your son. He's the sweetest little boy I've ever met." We stopped at the door to the guest bedroom, and I said "There's this quote by Helen Keller that I really like; she says 'The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or touched, but just felt by the heart'. And you guys really reminded me of that tonight. Thank you."

She blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, causing my heart rate to speed up slightly. Stop that, Prentiss, I told myself. She's your friend; nothing more. She has Will. Besides, you're probably just projecting because of all you've been through in the last year. Her voice broke through my inner monologue. "Always," she said before pulling me in a tight hug. "It's the same for us, you know." She pulled away and kissed my cheek swiftly. "Goodnight, Em."

My eyes opened, and I groggily took in my present situation. My ankles were bound with zip-ties to the wooden chair I was currently in, and my hands were cuffed behind the seat back. I winced as pain shot through my body from the bullets my Kevlar vest had absorbed. I looked around cautiously, looking for anything to identify where I was being held. Before I had a chance to look carefully, I heard footsteps echoing behind me, and turned to see Ian Doyle striding down the hall towards me. Show him no fear, I told myself, staring straight ahead as he came up behind me and lightly gripped my neck with his right hand.

"Where's my ring?" he demanded in a calm voice.

"I flushed it," I replied, doing my best to keep my voice as level as his. He chuckled, and despite the fact that there was really nothing funny about the situation I was currently in, I allowed myself to let out a small laugh as well.

"I spent seven years in hell because of that ring," he told me in the same calm voice. His hands trailed down my shoulders and around to grip my shirt. I closed my eyes as he began to undo the buttons slowly. "Now," he said as he continued. "I'm going to give you another gift." His fingers stopped at the button just below my breasts. "One you won't get rid of so easily," he finished as he slid the material away from my body to expose as much of my skin as possible. Ian's hands ceased their movements, and I felt him move away from me. I turned to look at him as he approached the wall by the door, where he had something hidden from my view. "The four leaf clover should be a nice addition to your other tattoos," he said in the same measured voice, wheeling what appeared to be all the instruments used to create a tattoo over to my side. "You still have two, right?" he asked in a mocking voice.

"Yup," I said, keeping my voice steady and shaking my head slightly. "And that's enough ink, thanks."

Ian laughed, causing my blood to turn to ice. Something told me that he had something a little more than just a tattoo planned for me. "Ink?" he scoffed, kneeling down beside the machine. He flipped a switch, and my heart rate sped up as I heard the machine thrum as it was turned on. "The North Koreans can't afford ink. No, they brand themselves," he explained, and turned the voltage on the machine up. He moved behind me and gripped the back of my neck harshly, causing my head to be jerked back as he brought the tip of the brand closer to my breast. I could feel the heat of the metal coming closer to my skin and I gasped in pain. Unable to stop myself, I began to struggle against his strong grip, desperately trying to prevent him from pressing the brand into my skin. "The more you fight," he said coolly, "the more this'll hurt."

The room was suddenly filled with the smell of my burning flesh and my screams as he pressed the hot tip of the brand into my skin.

I sat up suddenly, my face and arms slick with sweat as I threw the bed sheets off of my overheated body. Gasping, I covered my face shakily. It was a dream, I told myself firmly. I glanced at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand next to my bed and sighed. It was only a little after four a.m. Shakily, I pulled the faded FBI t-shirt I had worn to bed over my head, leaving me in the shorts and sports bra that I had also fallen asleep in, and looked down at the scarred flesh of my chest. I traced the four leaf clover with the tip of my index finger, lost in thought. Ian had been right; there was no way to remove a brand once it was administered without causing even more damage to my skin. The only comforting thought I had was the fact that I didn't give him the satisfaction of writhing in pain, like he had expected me to do. I had screamed; God, I had screamed, but I managed to keep myself still enough that he had branded me with a clover that could pass off as a professional job.

I was jolted from my thoughts as a sleepy voice sounded from the doorway. "Emmy?" I looked up to see a bedraggled Henry standing in the doorway, clutching the plush lion I had given him two years ago in one hand and rubbing his eyes with the other.

I pulled my shirt back over my head. "Hey, buddy," I said, doing my best to sound upbeat and cheerful despite the nightmare I had just experienced. "What are you doing up?"

"I woke up," he mumbled shyly. "Can I get in bed with you?"

My heart swelled at the sight of the little boy in his Batman pajamas as he wandered further into my room and pulled the door closed. "Of course you can," I said, scooting over to make some room for him. He clambered onto the bed and pressed his face into the lion's mane. "Is something wrong?" I asked, rubbing his back softly as he settled next to me.

"I had a bad dream," he said, refusing to meet my gaze. "I was dreaming that you weren't here no more. I looked everywhere, and you weren't there," he continued in an almost inaudible voice. His fingers began to play with the lion's mane. "It scared me."

I squashed the instinctive feeling of guilt that surged within me at his words. "I'm sorry, buddy," I said instead. "Hey, is that the lion I gave you?" I asked him, trying to distract him from the nightmare that was clearly still weighing on him. He nodded and held out the plush for me to inspect. "You know," I said in a light voice, "I don't think you ever told me his name before I left. Does he have one?"

Henry gave me a shy smile. "His name is Leo," he said.

"Leo? Like Leopold?" I asked, brushing his long bangs out of his face as I did so. "I thought you didn't like that name?"

He looked up at me, blue eyes full of mischief as he smiled guiltily. "I picked it after Mommy told me you were going away," he said. "She thought it'd be a good way to remember you." He hugged Leo closer to his body. "I wanted to remember you."

I smiled, touched at his words. For a three-year-old, this kid was extremely smart. "Well, thank you," I said, wrapping him in a hug. Henry's small arms wrapped around my shoulders and I stroked his hair lightly. After I pulled back, I looked into his blue eyes again. "Tell you what," I said, pulling my discarded sheets up from the foot of the bed. "If you want, you can stay in here with me tonight."

His eyes widened at the suggestion. "Will you be here when I wake up?" he asked, bouncing in excitement.

"I will," I replied, settling down beside his warm body.

"Promise?"

I held my pinky out to him. "Even better, I pinky promise," I stated. "Goodnight, Henry."

"Goodnight, Emmy," he said around a yawn.

I woke again two hours later by the sound of the bedroom door creaking open. I sat up to find JJ's head poking into my room. "Sorry," she mouthed, taking a step into the room. "I just didn't see Henry when I woke up, and thought I'd check to see if he was in here." She chuckled as she took in his blond hair sticking out in all directions under the bedspread. "Guess I found him."

Carefully, so not to wake the little boy up, I shifted to where my legs were hanging off the side of the bed and faced her. "He came in about two hours ago," I explained. "Said he had a nightmare."

"A nightmare?"

"Yeah," I replied, picking at my fingernails. "Something about me disappearing again."

"Oh, Emily, I'm sorry," she said as she sat down beside me. "If I had known, I would've tried to talk him down. Did he wake you up?"

I shook my head. "No, I was already awake." My hand wandered over the scar on my chest again as I thought back to the nightmare that had woken me up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly.

I was going to refuse, but as soon as I looked into her warm eyes I found myself confessing everything. "Doyle branded me in Boston," I stated quietly. I felt her warm hand close around mine as I stared ahead. "I'm always going to have the marks from that night. I'm going to be reminded of him every time I look in the mirror from now on. And sometimes that makes me so…angry, Jenn. I don't want to be reminded of him anymore." I looked at her desperately. "How do I move on and start to heal?"

Her fingertips traced random patterns over the back of my hand as she sat with a thoughtful expression on her face. "There's this line from a song that I really like," she said finally, looking at me with those piercing blue eyes. "It's by Coldplay. 'Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you'." She squeezed my hand in a reassuring manner. "The lights already guided you home, Em. You're back, and everything is back to normal again. But what you went through was not easy. You're going to have some scars, both physically and mentally. But I will try to fix you, if you let me. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. Just like when you asked me to let you be there for me after I was transferred, now I'm asking you to do the same for me."

"Thank you," I managed to get out after she finished. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Of course I do," she replied. "You've done the same for me. And no matter what, don't you ever think you're less of a person for those scars," she said suddenly. "They aren't a sign of ownership, Em. They're a sign of how strong you are for surviving what you did." She pulled me to my feet quickly, not allowing me to do much more than process what she had just told me. "What do you say to waking the little guy up and just spending some time together?"

I smiled. "I can't say no to that," I said, watching her lean down to shake her son awake. "And I know I've said this already, but JJ…thank you."

She turned back to look at me. "Always."

I think scars are like battle wounds – beautiful, in a way. They show what you've been through and how strong you are for coming out of it.

-Demi Lovato

AN 2: And there it is. I'm hoping that it is as up to par as the previous chapters, because I know I'm a little rusty from being away so long. Anyways...let me know what you all think! Review, favorite, follow, all of that jazz. Or not. Obviously it is not a required thing - I just like to hear your guys' opinions on what I'm writing. Anyways...Darklighter out.