A/N: Jasper really spoke to me in this chapter. I wanted to be able to portray what I felt when reading this. Here is our Dark Prince, speaking out on his own. Thanks to duskri123 for her inspiration and use of her words.

I Am Vulnerable: A Response to Chapter 25 of Someday

Finding out now
that being the Dark Prince
does not guarantee
my own armor's strength.
Many years of wear and tear,
letting people in to see
the different parts of me,
exposing myself to these
elements of my charred humanity,
making me susceptible to caring,
giving a shit about
whether who lives or dies
and whether my heart should love,
whether the sacrifices I made
was worth it-
Because now as I see my armor
melting away,
I don't feel like I'm worth it.

As I made my plans to keep
my mate, my love,
certain aspects of her past
had to be reworked.
So with my love for her,
I secured her precious jewel
and the fallback of
it's former protector.
For what she holds dear,
I cherish as well-
Keeping the jewel
of her womb
is not an option,
but I toy with the idea
of being a father to her
heart's blessing,
but I dismiss it, making a choice,
hoping she understands

Realizing now how much
I've taken advantage of the
Brother in Arms and his own mate,
took their trust and loyalty
and used it for my own liking,
a sacrifice, a chance all for
my lovely Iron Maiden.
So as my Brother in Arms
suits my mate up, cares for her,
makes her stronger, protects her,
I in turn casted his mate, Sister in strength,
in the dangers of my game.
As my Brother's world stopped
to help ready my Maiden,
I betrayed him and broke his trust,
using his own vulnerability of loving me-
But they made me susceptible too,
the brother and sister, my true family.

Now I am with my Iron Maiden,
during her inner battle,
her weakened hear beats off key,
but her love for me keeps it steady,
the promise of her someday looming,
burning her harshly over and over
as she proves she is worthy of her armor.
She makes me feel so exposed,
ripping off all that I used
to cover the dirty parts of me still pure,
holding still to the remnants
of my broken humanity.
Even as her heartbeat slows,
indicating the end of this verse,
I hope she feels the music in its totality,
the music of my restless soul.
Will she still stay with me
when she learns my hidden truths?

And as my broken armor has me
completely and insecurely bare,
a request form one of the
statues from my false life
has me shaking and edging to break.
The Selfish Brother's request
to be extinguished is harsh,
a bitter tasting reality
that for sure is needed, for sure inevitable,
but asking of my hands
to so this tasked leaves me
beyond the realms of my remaining safety.
But he is so right in that I owe him-
Doing this will break me,
but I give him his six foot request
and swallow him up, crimes and all,
in my arms of death and goodbyes,
hoping God will take a second look and welcome him.

Crawling back to my Iron Maiden's human pyre,
I am left broken,
unarmored,
scoured off my shield,
plucked from my security.
I try to find solace
in the only place I have left,
the arms of my mate…
But can I withstand the pain,
using my Brother in Arms & Sister in Strength,
taking the Maiden's jewel
and locking it away from her,
unleashing my hell on the Selfish Brother
to end his self-imposed suffering,
but sending him off on his terms-
I grieve…
I am bare…
I am not good enough…

Lynette C. Nichols aka TheUnderStudy
May 3, 2011 3:59 PM