"That was..." Gray buried his head in his hands, "I don't even know. Why do I always end up in a jail cell when I go out with you?"
Cana shrugged, plopping down on the wooden bench beside him. She kicked off her one remaining wedge heel, swinging her bare feet in the air above the concrete floor. She nudged Gray with her shoulder, "The real question is, how do you not end up in a jail cell when I'm not with you?"
"That makes no sense," Gray retorted. He took his head out of his hands and reclined against the wall, nudging Cana back with his own bare shoulder. Somewhere along the line of their alcohol induced 'adventure' he'd lost his shirt. He saw absolutely no hope of it ever returning. At least he still had his pants, for once.
Cana shrugged, turning around and laying down across Gray's lap. She put her hands behind her head, kicking her feet up against the wall, "It makes perfect sense."
"No it doesn't," Gray argued.
"Yes, it does. You should be arrested at least five times a day for public indecency, and then if you add the rampant destruction of property..." Cana laughed, smiling fondly at Gray.
"Like you can talk about 'rampant destruction of property,'" Gray made air quotes and rolled his eyes, "We both saw what you did to that chandelier."
"Hey, hic, Gray?" Cana slurred, pointing at the crystal chandelier suspended from the ceiling. The pair stumbled into the middle of the dance floor, pushing past sets of dancing couples. Many a pair grumbled at the two inebriated wizards, but they were both too distracted and too drunk to care if they upset anyone, "I bet you, hic, five kisses that I can... can hit the.. the thingy? With my cards from here."
"No way!" Gray reeled back, wobbling on his feet. He grabbed Cana's shoulder to steady himself, but missed, pitching himself forward a couple of steps.
The chandelier was larger than Gray's alcohol soaked brain could comprehend. It was comprised of at least ten layers of wire platforms, crystals like dewdrops hanging off every available space on the wires. Tiny lacrima powered lights also clung to the metal skeleton of the chandelier, making the crystals throw off beams of rainbow lights. It was the prized show piece of the fancy dance hall that Cana and Gray had managed to sneak in to.
"I totallllly cannnnn," Cana protested. She dug her deck of cards out of her purse. It had somehow managed to survive their dip in the canal outside of Lucy's house. Cana raised the cards in front of her spreading the deck and selecting a card from the stack. It was decorated by a stylized burst of light.
Cana pulled the card out of the deck, and deposited the rest of them back in her fuzzy blue purse. Gray staggered backwards, behind Cana. The Card Mage shifted into a throwing stance, raising the card in the air with great pomp. She flicked her wrist, and the card left her hand and flew, spinning like a Frisbee. It arced toward the chandelier and lodged in the wires. Cana turned to him, smiling triumphantly.
Light flashed, silhouetting the card mage. The card lodged in the chandelier exploded, and the metal framework creaked and groaned. The chandelier swung dangerously, scattering crystals over the floor. The dancers on the floor just managed to clear out before the chain securing the chandelier to the ceiling snapped and the two ton mass of metal fell to the floor.
Cana turned to watch the carnage, "Oopsies," She hummed. She turned back to Gray, "You owe me FIVE kisses."
She held her hand out with her finger splayed. With the wide grin splayed over her face, Gray thought that she vaguely resembled a five year old.
Cana winced, "I hope no one got hit..."
Gray shook his head. He picked up a lock of Cana's dark hair in his fingers, playing with it absently, "Everyone got out. I talked to the rune knights. They're angrier about what happened to the chandelier..."
Cana laughed, clearly relieved, "I could care less about the stupid chandelier. That thing was gaudy as hell anyway."
Gray shrugged, dropping Cana's hair back on her face. He crossed his arms behind his head, "Like the clothes that you stole weren't?"
Spluttering and spitting the hair out of her mouth, Cana glared at him playfully, "Says the man who broke into the jewelry display. That necklace was not a belt."
"It's sparkly?" Gray gasped, looking over the glass counter at the diamonds within. The burglar alarm blared in the background, but neither Gray nor Cana paid any attention.
Cana turned toward Gray, jamming a sun hat down on top of the bowler hat on top of her dark brown locks. She was draped in silk scarves from the display, and she was wearing a golden, shimmery bikini top over a prom dress that she'd torn off the wall. Her gait was uneven, on her left foot, she wore one of her typical wedge heels, and on the other foot was a polka-dotted rain-boot. Cana clearly saw nothing wrong with her outfit.
Excited, Gray gestured at the display case, "They're sparkly, like ice! Imma get some."
Cana raised her eyebrow, and stumbled forward, tripping over the hem of her dress. Her rain-boot fell off, "I want some too!"
"Ice make, bazooka!" Gray shouted. The ice weapon appeared in his hand. It slung over his shoulder and he pointed it in the direction of the display case. His vision swam from the alcohol though, and when he fired, he only managed to clip the edge of the display case. The projectile from the bazooka slammed into the counter with the register. It exploded, scattering bills over the floor of the department store.
Gray growled, swaying from side to side. He re-prepped the bazooka and fired once again, aiming successfully at the display case. The kick-back knocked him back several feet, just out of range of the shattering glass.
"Whoo!" Gray cheered. He rushed back to the busted open case, retrieving fist fulls of diamond neclaces and earrings and throwing them into the air. Several fell down on Cana, snagging in her hair and clothing. Cana cheered in confusion, "What are you cheering for?!"
"I am the ice king!" Gray proclaimed, draping more of the necklaces over his head and arms. Taking a particularly long one, Gray tied it around his waist so it draped over his pants like a belt. He stuffed a bunch in his pockets. He stumbled forward, tripping on Cana and face planting onto the floor. He rolled over and off the Card Mage, ignoring her cry of distress. He stood up.
Frowning, he looked down at his friend on the floor, "What are you doing there?"
"Laying down," Cana responded.
"Oh," Gray contemplated the problem, before he simply leaned down and picked up Cana, throwing her over his shoulder, "Now you're not."
"I'm pretty sure that I still have a couple of earrings in my hair," Gray groaned, running a hand through his spiky black hair.
Cana laughed, "No kidding. I found a couple in my top earlier."
"I'm sure that that went over well with the rune knights," Gray rolled his eyes.
Cana shrugged. She stretched out like a cat, raising her arms over her head, "You know, the sobering spells that those guys give out are really useful. I'm not even hungover."
"Yeah, that's pretty nice," Gray admitted, "I was afraid that I was going to have a headache for the next three years."
"Ugh," Cana groaned, "I know the feeling. But I was more worried I was going to have hypothermia from jumping in the canal and then running around with my clothes soaked. I wonder if Lucy's okay."
"Oh my God," Gray blanched, "I forgot all about Lucy. That is going to be one hell of an apology..."
The two mages giggled, peeking out from behind the brick wall. They nudged each other, snorting and snickering. They peered at their blonde comrade where she walked, balancing precariously on the top of the canal wall. Her small, marshmallow looking spirit wobbled behind her, it's arms spread to keep it's balance. Lucy's arms were flung wide too, but more for the feeling than anything. She stepped like a tightrope walker, rocking back on her foot and pitching forward, occasionally spinning and kicking up dramatically.
Cana looked at Gray, a drunken pink flush surfacing on her cheeks. She pulled at Gray's bare arm, clutching it like an excited child, "Gray!" She stage whispered, "You know what we should do?"
"What?" Gray asked, not bothering to whisper at all. Cana pulled him farther behind the wall, shushing him frantically.
"We should go swimming! In the canal!" Cana grinned, whispering louder than Gray had originally spoken, "You know what?"
"What?" Gray repeated, whispering.
Cana spun around, flinging her arms up in the air. She stumbled, hitting the alley wall with both hands, "We should bring Lucy with us! I bet she'd have tons of fun!"
"Okay," Gray shrugged, "I'm okay with that."
Smiling, Cana pumped her fist. She staggered to the side. She took off her purse and threw it to the ground, stumbling once again. She giggled, fixing her eyes on Lucy. Gray stared at Lucy too, because that's what Cana was doing.
"Ready... Set... GO!" Cana yelled, taking off at top speed. She managed to keep her balance as she sprinted towards Lucy, and by extension, the canal wall. Gray stumbled after her with far less grace, tripping over his own feet and stumbling from right to left.
Lucy spun around at the sound of Cana's yell, only to find the source of the very same yell barreling at her at a speed that was impressive for a drunk woman. Lucy yelped with surprise and tried to take a step backwards, but her foot hit the edge of the canal wall and she teetered dangerously on the stone ledge.
Cana leaped at the blonde woman, tackling her into the canal. Lucy shrieked, and Plue dissolved in a shimmer of starlight.
Halfway to the canal wall, Gray gave up on running after he tripped one too many times. He brushed himself off and strolled leisurely to the ledge. He peered over, finding that Lucy was spluttering and treading the water, spitting water out of her mouth. She glared furiously at Cana, who was giggling and paddling in the water. Cana dived under the water and resurfaced several times, grinning like a maniac.
"Gray, I don't like it in here," Cana called up, still grinning, "I want to get out."
"Okay," Gray shrugged, "Ice make: fist!"
A giant model of a man's hand rose out of the water, with Cana clutched in it's palm. The brunette shrieked wit h laughter as it picked her up and out of the water, arcing over the canal wall to deposit the soaking wet card mage onto the dry cobblestones. She dropped the rest of the way to the ground as the ice released her and she stumbled into Gray, who caught her unsteadily. They wobbled together for a moment before regaining their balance.
"Wait! Gray!" Lucy's distressed voice floated out of the canal.
"She's probably going to kill us," Cana noted.
"Yup," Gray nodded, "You know what I just remembered?"
"Hmm?"
"Your purse. You left it in the alley by Lucy's house," Gray flicked her in the forehead. Cana scowled, reaching up to rub the place on her forehead.
Cana grinned, sitting up and leaning closer to Gray, so close their breath mingled and their noses nearly touched. Cana's grin morphed to something more akin to a smirk and she rested her hands on Gray's chest. She looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, "You know what you forgot?"
"What is that?" Gray raised an eyebrow, leaning into Cana so their foreheads were just millimeters apart. Cana moved her hands up over his chest, trailing her fingers over his guild mark. She looped her hands around the back of his neck.
"You owe me five kisses," She murmured, leaning forward.
Gray closed the gap, leaning forward and wrapping his arms tightly around Cana's waist. Their lips moved together perfectly. Gray cupped the back of Cana's neck with one of his hands, keeping the other wrapped around her waist. Cana knotted her hands in his hair and shifted, throwing her leg over Gray's so she straddled him. She deepened the kiss, parting her lips so-
The door to the holding cells opened.
Gray and Cana broke apart, trying to disguise their heavy breathing. Cana winked at her black haired partner in crime, twisting and swinging her leg back over his legs so she sat normally on the bench, "I expect those other four made up later."
"Just say when," Gray smirked.
A rune knight burst into view, leading none other than their blonde haired victim. Lucy glared at them through the bars, exuding an aura of death. She was still soaked, with her blonde hair plastered to her forehead and several species of aquatic plants plastered to her arms and legs. She had a white cloak draped over her shoulders, and the symbol on the back indicated it as belonging to another rune knight in the building.
"Your bail has been paid," The rune knight recited to Gray and Cana robotically, "You are due back here for your court hearing in exactly one week. A notice will be sent to each of your homes for the exact time."
He unlocked the door to their cell and they burst out, happy to be free until they caught the lingering death glare on Lucy's face. She marched forward and away, drawing the cloak tighter around her.
"You two owe me eighty thousand jewels, do you know that?" Lucy growled, not even bothering to look back to see if the pair was following, "I was stuck in the canal for half an hour before the fishermen came by. I was about to call Aquarius to get me out! And now I'm going to be sick for a week and my outfit is ruined! I expect reparations for this. Also Cana, I found your purse in the alley by my house. I think you dropped it."
Lucy turned around, offering the fuzzy blue article to Cana, only to find that both the brunette and Lucy's black haired team-mate had disappeared somewhere in the middle of her rant.
Lucy sighed. She wondered where they had disappeared to.
(They may or may not have been making up for those other four kisses in some shadowy corner.)
A/N: This was GraNa by request of two guests! This was really fun to right. Gray and Cana are irresponsible drunks.
The chapter schedule goes something like this:
-Natsu/Levy
-Natsu/Juvia
-Rogue/Lisanna
And then more, but I'm not going to list them here.
Suggestions are still open, but if they don't have a prompt attached, THEY WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED, OKAY?