Okay, so because we all know what happened in Neverland and I have no desire to change anything about what happened there, I've decided to skip right ahead to when they get back. This is a last minute decision, so I'm sorry, but I want to work towards something else here. Also, here I'm going to deviate from the original script (as if I hadn't already lol): Henry is not Pan. They trapped Pan once and for all. Carry on.

Chapter 4

Emma opened the door to her apartment and let her son and her lover inside. She was tired – exhausted would maybe be a better description. Henry said nothing as he went upstairs, his eyes already half closed and he stumbled over his own feet twice before he reached his room.

Emma let herself crash on the couch, too tired to even think about going to her room. Killian sat down next to her, looking less tired, but decisively worn out. "Let's never do that again, okay?" she suggested and Killian chuckled.

"You mean, go to Neverland, fight the Lost Boys, three Shadows and a maniacal old man in the shape of a young boy? I agree." he said. "Come here." he added softly, pulling her to him and she snuggled up against his side. "You look exhausted."

"I am." Emma murmured.

"Then sleep, love."

"We should…go to…the bedro-oom." she stifled a yawn in his leather jacket and Killian smiled.

"Don't worry about a thing, darling. Just sleep."

"I love you, Killian."

He kissed her forehead. "I know." He took her hand in his and stroked her palm until her breathing slowed and she was far away. Then he lifted her in his arms and brought her to the bedroom, tucking her in gently, before joining her on the other side of the bed and staring at her. He felt so incredibly lucky and at peace, because after everything Emma had learned about him, she still loved him and still wanted him around. He was so grateful for whatever he'd done to deserve her. "I love you, too, Emma." he whispered, before relaxing his tired body into the comforter. All the memories of his time in that cursed land had come flushing over him, not the mention all the other memories – Milah, Liam – , and all he could do was relive them at night as Emma slept soundly against his chest. He couldn't look forward. He couldn't see a future; time wasn't moving, so he couldn't move…it had been suffocating. But now he was back. Back in Storybrooke, back in the apartment that had very nearly become his home. He could look forward again. It was relaxing. He slept soundly.

-CS-

Emma woke up late the following afternoon, a bit sweaty but very well rested. The spot beside her was empty; Killian must already be awake, then. She threw her legs off the side of the bed, stretching her body and groaning when her muscles protested. Figures, after days being on edge on that island. She slid into some comfortable clothes, not intending on going anywhere today, and exited the bedroom. Immediately, the sweet smell of pancakes filled her nostrils.

The kitchen offered the most moving sight she had ever seen. Killian and Henry, behind the counter, effectively baking a pile of pancakes together. Taking a few steps back, she leaned against the doorway, watching the scene before her. Killian mixed the ingredients quickly and efficiently, while Henry baked and flipped the pancakes quickly. Emma smiled as she felt a lump in her throat come up, and a tear rolled down her cheek. It was the most beautiful moment she'd seen in weeks.

When she sniffed softly, Killian looked up, his face brightening with a broad smile. "Good morning, beautiful." he said, and Henry looked up as well, smiling too.

"Hey mom!"

Emma now moved into the kitchen, both her boys' smiles affecting her. "Hey. What's going on?"

Henry rolled his eyes. "Pancakes, obviously!"

"The lad thought you deserved some taking care of, after all you did for us." Killian momentarily left his mixing duties, walking over to her and pulling her into a kiss. "Sleep well?"

"Extremely. Why didn't you wake me?"

"Are you joking? I wouldn't wake someone when they're sleeping, and certainly not an angel like you." he said, winking, before moving back to the kitchen. Emma blushed and hugged Henry awkwardly without obstructing his view to the frying pan. "And Henry woke me up, wanting to bake you pancakes. So I was morally obligated not to wake you up."

"I love you both." Emma blurted out, moved to tears by what the boys were doing for her. Killian smiled, his blue eyes shining brightly.

"Go sit down, love. We'll take care of everything."

"Sure you don't need my help?"

"No!" said Henry and Killian together, and Emma sat down quickly, grinning wildly. She felt happier than ever. Her son and her lover were baking her pancakes as if they were family. Suddenly, Killian's hand was on her shoulder and he placed a plate with pancakes in front of her.

"Here you go, love." he whispered. Emma looked up at him, smiling.

"Thank you for doing this." She pulled him down for a kiss and he melted into it easily. "I love you."

"I love you, too." he whispered.

"Ew, guys, cut it out!" Henry said, walking in with his eyes covered and one plate in his hand.

"Oi, lad, I thought you'd bring me my plate as well." Killian said, feigning hurt, but he couldn't fool Emma. He was enjoying every single second of this, whether he admitted it or not.

"Yeah, I was, until I saw you kissing my mom, so I had to use one hand to cover my eyes!"

"Kid, it's like you have never seen two people kiss!" Emma said, laughing as Killian went to the kitchen to get his plate.

"I have, with grandma and grandpa, they're supposed to kiss because they're Snow White and Prince Charming! And – well, you're my mom!" Henry sat down, looking at her with those bright, excited eyes.

"And your mom and I aren't supposed to kiss?" Killian asked, sitting down on the other side of Henry, across from Emma so Henry was at the head of the table.

"Well, I don't know, do I? None of this is in my book!"

"It's time you looked at the real world as well, kid." Emma said, taking a bite of her pancakes and momentarily losing her train of thought. These pancakes were delicious!

"Hey, I don't say I mind you and Captain Freaking Hook being together! I just…seeing my mother kissing someone is just gross. Period."

Emma and Killian shared a glance, and then simultaneously looked away to prevent themselves from bursting into laughter. "Okay, kid." Emma said, taking another bite from her pancakes. "Guys, these are heavenly!"

Henry beamed. "Thanks! I had to actually teach Killian how to use a mixer, and that's really strange! Trying to tell someone how to use something so commonplace, it's like explaining to someone who has never seen the sun what it looks like! It can't be done!" Henry kept on rambling as they ate, jumping from subject to subject, and Emma listened fondly, occasionally looking at her pirate across from her. He was visibly enjoying himself, conversing with Henry, laughing with him, joking around with him. Emma had to admit she'd been afraid at first…afraid that Henry wouldn't like Killian because he wasn't Henry's father. But she saw now that she was dead wrong. How could Henry not like Captain Hook, he is obsessed with every fairy tale in existence.

"Mom, can I go to Regina today?"

"Of course, kid, you don't have to ask, you just have to tell me you're going."

"Yes!" Henry left the table quickly, going upstairs to get himself ready. Emma rose, too, taking the plates to the kitchen to wash them off.

Just as she was about to open the tab, she felt two arms wrap around her waist from behind. "Leave that for tonight, love." Killian whispered in her ear, and she automatically closed her eyes and leaned back into his chest.

"But tonight…" She wanted to say how tonight neither of them would feel up to the dishes, but his lips were already latched onto her skin and she could only groan and tangle her fingers in his hair as he held her against him.

"Tonight, I'll help. Promise." he whispered against her neck, holding her tight against his chest. "Oh, Swan, you are the most precious thing in the world. You make my world complete."

"Killian, stop..."

"Take a compliment, lass." he whispered, pulling her slowly to the bedroom. "You are. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, the strongest, the most unafraid...you are my world, my love."

"Henry..." Emma whispered, unable to resist him.

"I'm off, guys!" Henry said, bouncing through the living room, and Killian retreated ever so slightly, to make their position less sexual. "Wow...okay, don't think about it, don't think about it." he muttered, quickly leaving the apartment. That's when Killian spun her around, taking her face between his hands and kissing her softly.

"Come to bed, my love." he said, pulling her with him, and she let him, a big grin on her face. She was so fucking in love and she just couldn't help herself. She just had to smile. Had to laugh when he was around, had to be aroused because of him.

He landed on the bed, extending his hands towards her, waiting for her to accept them. But if he thought he would be in charge, he was dead wrong. She smiled, but didn't take his hands, instead unzipped her vest slowly, holding him captive with her eyes. "Swan, you are irresistible." groaned Killian, when she didn't move close, but just removed her clothing piece by piece. When he tried to move closer, she shook her head, a warning look in her eyes. This was her time. He fell back again, groaning out her name in frustration.

"Patience." Emma cooed, unbuttoning her jeans ever so slowly.

"You know me, love."

Emma grinned. "I do. Which makes this more fun for me." She moved closer and ghosted her lips over his, making him lean into her, but she darted away just as quickly, and he groaned again.

"You're killing me, Swan!"

"Yes, I know." She shimmied out of her jeans, taking her panties with them and kicking them aside.

"You done yet?"

"Stop talking, Killian. Trust me, you want to." she threatened, but smiled sweetly. Killian bit his lip while his eyes were trained on her, as she unclasped her bra and slide it off her arms, finally naked in front of him.

It seemed like his eyes were permanently glued to her body, the way he stared at her. Emma grinned, and then slowly started to move forward. She could see the bulge in his pants, and grinned again, smugly. That was her doing. She pushed him back on the bed, her body moving slowly over his. He was wise to keep his hands to himself, but it was hard. His pupils were dilated, his breath coming in short bursts. He wanted her just as much as she him. When he was on the middle of the bed, she straddled his hips, just above his crotch, so that she still wasn't touching him, but he could feel the warmth from her body. Then she began to undo his red vest, the one he now wore almost always, unless she forced him to put it in the laundry. He had blatantly refused to change his clothes to normal earth-like clothes, and she hadn't really tried to make him. She liked the way he looked in all that leather.

He helped her get rid of his clothing, but didn't touch her, however much he wanted to, he simply sat up and laid back down if she was done. All the while he had that stupid, wide grin on his face that made her melt where she stood.

When he was – finally – naked, she moved back over him, straddling his waist and leaning forward to kiss him. Groaning at the contact, Killian immediately parted his lips to allow her entrance, and their tongues touched, making sparks fly. Oh, she still remembered the 'thank you'-kiss after he'd saved David, and by the way he was kissing her, so was he.

"Can I please touch you, love?" Killian groaned, when they broke apart for air. "Please."

He had never begged – well, for him this was begging – and Emma smirked, before biting her lips seductively. "Oh alright. But just from the waist up."

"You're a bloody minx." he groaned, but his hands immediately grabbed hold of her waist, his finger dancing over her skin as he pulled her back to kiss her.

Emma smiled against his lips. "You love it."

"Less talking, more touching." he simply said. She chuckled, but complied, running her hands down his chest, through his soft chest hair that she found disturbingly sexy and all the way down to where he wanted her...but she didn't touch. He ran his hands down her side, making her skin crawl with want for more of his touch. "Emma, I know you want this just as much as me. Why don't you get a move on?"

"Because I want to tease you. Just like you tease me, every. freaking. time." She bit his earlobe softly, and he gasped.

"Gods , Swan!" His arms wrapped around her waist and he bucked his hips up into her, making her gasp. He pulled her down to him, burying his face in her neck and pressing his lips on her skin hotly. Emma's eyes fell closed and she moaned softly. She was supposed to be in control. "You are the sexiest, most beautiful woman I have ever met, and for the love of Gods, please make love to me." he pleaded, and she looked at him. His eyes were shining with want and lust.

"Okay." Emma kissed her way down his chest as she moved her entire body downwards, before lifting herself over him. With a big smile on her face she looked up at him, and saw him look at her with love in his eyes.

"Emma, please."

"Alright, Captain." Then she sunk down on him, and he slid inside her easily, stretching her and they both gasped, throwing their heads back in pleasure. "Oh God!" She fell forward, burying her face in his neck and gasping, before rocking her hips against him.

"Emma." Killian groaned, pressing his lips against her shoulder. "Gods, woman, I love you." His arms were wound tightly around her, but he let her do all the work. Like she wanted. "You are bloody brilliant." he whispered, kissing her neck, before scraping his teeth lightly over the skin, making her shiver. "Bloody brilliant."

"Shh." Emma whispered, not really in the mood for these compliments coming from him. It was still hard to accept them. She knew she wasn't brilliant, or beautiful. She was broken and weak. But at least she had him. He, who was prepared to look passed her past, and her fucked up mind and only saw what he liked. He, who loved her like no one else had. She loved him so much.

Emma started to swivel her hips against him, and he gasped in her hair, before he started to mutter things, things she couldn't understand but sounded suspiciously like 'I love you'. She felt the familiar tightness build up inside her, and all she wanted to do was unwind it, so she moved faster, encouraging him to participate. He took that to heart. With his arms still tightly around her, he started to thrust up into her, making him go ever so deeper. A high, soft, whining noise escaped her throat, and right there she knew she was done for. She was so maddeningly addicted to this man and his tricks, she could live simply on a steady diet of him. She pressed her lips to his ear, feeling the scruff tickle her cheek and then she whispered, "I love you." Killian replied with a deep thrust, touching something inside her that made her scream his name. And that was it. She fell...down from the edge into the abyss that was pleasure. She had never come so hard or so intensely before, and she loved it. Killian groaned her name as he followed her off that edge and they laid on top of each other, just breathing hard until their blinding pleasure faded.

"Gods..." he whispered, stroking her damp hair out of her face. "You will be the death of me. But it'll be a privilege." She looked up at him, smiling. "What is it?" he asked, and God, she wanted to curse him for always seeing what went through her self-conscious mind. "Emma, love. You know I can tell when something's wrong, and there's something wrong, so tell me."

"It's all those compliments you give me." Emma murmured, absently. She was way too worn out for this. "You say I'm beautiful; but I'm not. You say I'm amazing; actually, I'm weak. You say you love me...well, that I believe. But I don't understand why or how."

Killian tightened his hold on her. "Emma..." he whispered. She opened her mouth to respond, but he put his finger to her lips. "Shhh..." He looked at her, his blue eyes open and she could've drowned in them if she wasn't careful. "Listen to me. You are beautiful. You are amazing and brilliant and all sorts of wonderful. And it hurts me that you think otherwise."

"Killian, everyone I've even remotely cared for has said so. Or showed me by moving on. Or you know, putting me in jail, pregnant and heartbroken. Nobody thinks I'm beautiful, and I see it in the mirror. I'm not."

"You are!" yelled Killian suddenly, startling her. "Sorry. I mean, you are. Emma, all those people who left you, didn't leave you because you weren't beautiful, or amazing or brilliant. They left because they were stupid. Stupid to not see what you're worth to people, what you can do." He kissed her cheek softly, and she felt a tear slip from her eye. Goddamn it. She was weak. She couldn't even keep it dry when such beautiful words were spoken to her. "I believe there can be lots of things said about me...but I'm not a stupid man, love. I see you. I see your strength and you weakness. I see what you do. I've felt what you do. You change people for the better, simply by being around. You've done it with your parents, you've done it with Regina, and – above all – you've done it with me." He stroked her face gently, smiling softly, and then she burst into tears, simply because she couldn't handle all these emotions he was throwing on her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and cradled her.

She was weak, so so weak. Weak, weak, weak. She should know better than this. He would leave her, too. Just like the rest of them. Just like Neal. And it would absolutely destroy her.

"Emma, you're not weak, stop saying that." he scolded, and she realized she'd been saying it out loud. "I won't leave you. Because leaving you will destroy me as well." She'd been saying everything out loud. Oh God, this was so embarrassing. He held her for a long time, until he suddenly stiffened. "'In jail and pregnant'?!" Emma cringed. She knew she shouldn't have told him that.

"Killian, I..."

"Neal left you in jail while you were pregnant?!" Killian looked ready to burst, a vein near his temple throbbing dangerously.

"Yes, but he didn't know that..."

"I don't give a fuck! Why did you end up in jail?! And don't lie, because you know I'll know!"

Emma sighed, leaning her head against the pillows as she stared at the ceiling. "Alright fine. I was 18, young, naive and impressionable. This guy swoops in, promises me the world and we go on a 'Bonnie and Clyde'-run, except we just stole things for us. One day he comes to me and says he has the deal of a lifetime. He had to pick up a few watches and sell them, and we would be rich. We would go to Tallahassee." Emma smiled ruefully at the memory. Killian was silent, and unmoving while she spoke. He was obviously trying to reign his rage for her. "He gave me one watch to keep and went away for a few hours to sell them. I waited at our rendezvous spot, but he didn't show. Instead, a cop showed up. Told me Neal'd framed me for the theft of those watches. Since I was wearing one of those watches, I had all the evidence against me." She doesn't cry. Not over this. She's cried enough over this. "In jail I found out I was pregnant."

Killian was obviously gritting his teeth as he spoke, "I am going to slice that son of a bitch to bits and feed it to the sharks!" he growled, swinging his legs off the bed and standing up.

Panicking, Emma grabbed his arm to stop him, and he froze. "Killian, please don't!" she begged, and he turned around slowly. He was angry, livid even because of Neal. It looked horrendous but very sweet at the same time. Nobody had ever stood up for her like that. "Please. I beg of you, please don't do this."

"Why not?" he said loudly, exasperated as he sank down on the bed. "The fucker deserves it."

"I know. But I don't want you to get in trouble." Emma sat up on her knees and scooted closer to him. His arms sneaked around her waist and he pulled her against him, sighing softly.

"You are too good for this world, love." he said.

Emma smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Maybe."

Suddenly, Killian turned his body, so that he was sitting across from her and took her face in between his hands gently. "Look at me, and tell me that you're not angry at Neal, that you're not still hurt by what he's done. If you can do that, I'll leave him alone. If not...well, maybe we should just inform your father." She stared into his eyes, but couldn't get the words over her lips. Because fact was, that she couldn't say that. Because she was still angry, and she was still hurt. Just less so than before. Killian nodded. "That's what I thought." He kissed her forehead gently. "I won't fight him. I want to defend you, but I've quickly learned that you don't need a man to defend you. But I really want to talk to your father about this. See what he thinks about this. Is that okay for you?"

"Neal needs to know what he did. I don't want him to get hurt, because what I said in Neverland was true. I still love him. But not...in the way I love you. I love him as the father of my son. But nothing more. And he needs to know how much he hurt me." Emma looked at her hands. "When I said something about it, he laughed. He laughed and brushed it off with 'okay, I get it, we're all screwed up here'. It's like he doesn't even care. It feels like that. It feels like my feelings don't even matter."

Killian, who had been moving off the bed, quickly returned to take her in his arms. "Emma, everything you feel or do or say matters. Just because Neal doesn't have the balls to admit he did something wrong, doesn't mean that isn't true." He moved his hand to gently touch the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek softly. "He was wrong here, Emma. You have every right to be sad, angry, hurt or whatever else you feel. Just not guilt. Nothing you did caused him to go down his father's path."

"You think so?" Emma looked up at him, and he was slightly out of focus because of the tears brimming in her eyes.

Killian kissed the tip of her nose gently, a sweet gesture that, despite everything, made her smile. "My beautiful Emma, I know so. Have you always blamed yourself?"

She leaned her forehead against his chin while he stroked the back of her head. "A bit. Always. There was this nagging voice in my head that I was to blame. That I wasn't enough. That I screwed up somehow."

"You didn't do anything wrong. It was him. Always him, just him." Killian whispered. "Do you remember what I said to you, all those months ago, before this started?" He cradled her against his body while he talked, and she felt sleepy, exhausted by all of the emotions and the mind-blowing sex. "Let me love you, until you learn to love yourself. It still applies, Emma. I promise I will never let you go. I will never hurt you like that, ever."

"Really?" she said, her words slurring together with sleepiness.

"Yes, Emma. I promise. I love you. I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I'll be here always." Killian whispered as he gently rocked her in his arms, and her eyes slid closed. "Always," she heard Killian whisper, right before she fell asleep.

"What are you talking about?" I'm sorry, but are you guys as excited for March as I am? Because jeez I want Emma to remember! :DDD