I'm so, so, so sorry, dear readers. I wish I could tell you that I'll have more time to write, but honestly I have no idea whether that will be the case. My schedule this year is pretty busy, not to mention various extracurricular activities. Plus I'm a naturally slow writer. I was actually planning to add even more to this chapter, but I'll save that for Chapter 5.

Also, I twisted Gensokyo's geography a tad bit. The Misty Lake is in the Forest of Magic, and it's also hella big. I know that the Wiki says the lake's circumference is about 3.1 miles, but...I like to imagine Gensokyo as much bigger than it probably is (large worlds are more fun!), so as a result a lot of locations will be scaled up a bit, so to speak.

On a side note, I recently discovered Weeaboo Stories on Tumblr. Never has my faith in humanity plummeted so quickly.

Lastly, as always, thanks for the follows and favorites! ...But I need reviews! I need feedback in text form. If you don't feel that my story deserves more public comments I would also love a PM.

By the way, I put a lot of effort into the chapter titles. Check them out. They're pretty terrible.

Walking through the Forest of Magic was, if truth be told, quite a wonderful experience, if one didn't mind the horrendous air quality. Now that the sun was well and truly out, its luminosity shone through the lush, green leaves of the tall trees, accentuating the beauty of the forest as a whole. It was difficult to determine which eye candy was the sweetest; the patches of dappled sunlight illuminating the forest floor and undergrowth, the myriad mushrooms that differed not only in size and color but also shape (and presumably toxicity), the moss-covered boulders reminiscent of European woodland—even the spores seemed to glow when exposed to the light, lending an ethereal quality to the scenery.

Of course, none of these details would matter if you couldn't see any of them. Hence why Shinmyoumaru, under Marisa's hat just like before, was eager to visit the Scarlet Devil Mansion for the first time in her life. She was never particularly inclined to drop by, and an unnerving dagger-wielding maid only strengthened this sentiment. Frankly, I agree with her. Sakuya is one scary motherfu—

And the story ends abruptly as Sakuya appears behind me and decapitates me, leaving behind a single strand of silver hair and the spoilers to this entire story.

Shinmyoumaru dies!

jk

dont cry

Now, back to the obligatory exposition.

Currently, Marisa was cheerfully humming a jaunty tune to herself, seemingly not a care in the world. Clambering over a log in her path, she knew that she was nearing the Misty Lake and thus could expect a certain nuisance to show up very soon.

"Hey, Shinmyoumaru, do you know who Cirno is?"

"Who's that?"

"This ice fairy that lives around here. Thinks she's strong. Obviously isn't. You want to beat her for me?"

"Um...is she really annoying?"

"You have no idea."

Under the hat, Shinmyoumaru frowned. "I think I tried to recruit her. Instead I got frozen."

Marisa chuckled. "That's her. Do you want revenge?"

"Kinda...but can't you just—"

"I could crush her myself, but where's the fun in that? I come by and kick her ass every day." Of course, Marisa didn't bother mentioning the times when Cirno actually won. Those, uh, never happened. Nope.

"Oh. But what about the spores?"

"What do you mean? I'm used to them—oh, you're talking about you. Well, she lives near the Misty Lake, and there aren't really any big mushrooms there. Edible ones, yeah, but not those. That's why the fairies are mostly in that area. We're almost there; I'll let you take a look around. It's a pretty cool place."

Indeed, with frequent mild breezes and a generally moderate temperature year-round, it really was.

If you haven't closed this page in disgust already, the horrible attempt at comedy above might convince you to do so.

But to those brave enough to continue, let us go onward!

And onward Marisa went, passenger in...tow? Is there a phrase for this situation?

In fact, as I (the author) ponder this question, I notice that the characters are already at the lake, impatiently waiting for me to write the next scene. Can't you wait just a—

SHIT SHE HAS HER MINI-HAKKERO HALP

Well, let's just assume that there isn't one and move on, shall we? Yes. Let's. (Inb4 someone finds something on urbandictionary and proves me wrong.)

"Here we are!" As Marisa removed her hat, Shinmyoumaru gaped in awe at the stunning beauty of her surroundings. Though I hate to sound like a tour guide, I do want to share with you all my knowledge of the Misty Lake ecosystem (read: how I imagine it to be). Also, I like to keep the word count up, so...roll with me, will you?

Let us begin with the lake itself. Its water, clear and pure, provided an excellent habitat for the various youkai fish and amphibians, the latter being the primary reason Suwako ever bothered coming down the mountain for reasons other than parties and festivals.

Oh, and there's Wakasagihime.

Of course, the fairies (the most common non-aquatic organism (it feels so awkward referring to fairies as "organisms") in Gensokyo) didn't inhabit the lake, as wonderful as it was. Instead they made use of the gargantuan evergreens' shade along the lakefront and lived a largely carefree and comfortable life. No one really knew what their source of sustenance was, though. More likely than not they didn't need much in the way of food, being magical in nature. If one was of reasonable intelligence and sound mind it would be advised to socialize as little as possible with the generally simple-minded—

"Hey you!" a voice shouted, drawing an exasperated sigh from Marisa and a startled yelp from Shinmyoumaru.

Cirno! Shut up! See, this is exactly my point!

And she completely ignores me. Great.

What a baka.

Marisa sighed. She knew she would encounter the ice fairy sooner or later, but it always rankled her to do so.

"Hello, Cirno." No point in acting carefree like she did around Reimu. Cirno was a pest, not a friend.

"Why're you here? Eye'll fight you!"

"If I tell you, can I pass?"

Cirno stopped, considering Marisa's words. "Nice try, but Eye'm not letting you go that easy! Eye'll beat you like Eye did last time!"

"She's beaten you before!?" Shinmyoumaru incredulously whispered.

"Shh!" Marisa hissed. Raising her voice, she answered, "I won't duel you today, Cirno. But..."

"But what! Eye demand you to!"

"How about you duel her?" Marisa countered, revealing her diminutive companion to the eyes of her challenger with a flourish of her hat. (Sounds like a magic trick, doesn't it?)

"Ha! Eye know her! And Eye'll beat her again!"

Shinmyoumaru facepalmed, clearly irritated. "I wasn't even attacking you! I asked you politely to—"

"But you would've, and Eye saw through it! You can't fool me! Eye'm the—"

I don't think I need to finish that sentence.

"I'll prove it, too!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Shinmyoumaru retorted.

"Is that a challenge!?"

Marisa groaned. "You challenged her just now, you idiot! Get to it already! I don't have all day!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Cirno looked pleased with herself. "But I'll do it anyway!"

Shinmyoumaru didn't know what she expected when she accepted Cirno's challenge, but it definitely wasn't what actually happened.

As she quickly realized, the fairy had quite the eccentric personality. Before even firing any bullets at her opponent, she froze everything nearby over: the grass, the flowers, the pebbles on the edge of the lake's shore, even the base of the nearby tree. Then in the span of ten seconds she created an ice statue on her side of the battlefield, an action that seemed to have no real purpose. Details included were a top hat, a pair of dorky glasses, and even a mouth of realistic (kinda) teeth.

"What is that?" Marisa wondered out loud, unsure whether the ice fairy's creation was brilliant or absurd. She naturally assumed the latter.

"It's Mr. Author Guy!" Cirno giggled. "Isn't it obvious?"

"He has a name, you know..."

"Wait, he does!?" Shinmyoumaru was totally shocked. Are you serious? Come on, everyone has a name! Even me!

"No one cares!" Cirno shouted. "And you're stalling me! Now, prepare to die!"

"But it's a spell card duel—"

"Does it look like I care!?"

"..." Shinmyoumaru could only facepalm again. "...Fine. Let's get this over with."

"Then brace yourself! Ice Sign "Icicle Fall"!"

As she uttered the spellcard's name, white bullets began to form around her. Grinning, she sent them toward her bewildered foe, fully confident that she'd win in no time. How could this gnome stand a chance against her signature move?Not a chance.

Across from the vain fairy, Shinmyoumaru stared at the danmaku flying toward her. She was completely baffled, though not because the pattern was particularly convoluted.

"Ha! I've gotcha! You can't possibly escape this one!" Cirno declared triumphantly.

Marisa was also at a loss for words. "Yeah...uh, don't go easy on her, 'kay?"

Nodding, the inchling charged forward, seemingly reckless. As if by magic, the bullets seemed to never hit her, instead flying to her left or right.

"Wha—" Cirno was cut off by a barrage of kunai to the face, followed by the termination of the effects of her spell card. "Hey, how'd you do that? Cheater!"

"Mallet "Attack on Dwarf"!"

And the duel was over. Ice really is weak to Steel, I guess.

Cirno lay on the ground, defeated and unconscious. Confused at how easy of an adversary the ice fairy was, Shinmyoumaru glared up at her magician...friend? No. Never. Archenemy. Who was currently standing still, mouth agape, goggling at what just happened.

"...Marisa?"

And just like that, the witch snapped out of her trance. "What's up?"

"How did Cirno beat you?"

Marisa shrugged, turning away from Cirno's unconscious body. "Didn't take her seriously enough."

"Was she stronger—"

"I don't really want to talk about it..." Marisa appeared both embarrassed and traumatized, as if recalling some scarring experience. "Here, let's keep going. You absolutely crushed her, all that matters."

Though even more curious now, Shinmyoumaru dropped the subject. "Okay then. Just asking, though, why is she like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like really dumb."

Marisa burst out laughing. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..."

Aaaand I'm officially insane.

"First of all, she's a fairy. And like Partical said, they're generally brainless. Also—"

"Wait, that's his name?"

"Yeah."

"It sounds weird."

I guess it does. But it conveys a sense of—

"More like stupid."

Hey!

"Anyway. Also, she has a massive ego. Think of—"

"You?"

"—yes, me—times a hundred. Put it this way; when she says 'Eye'm the strongest', she isn't trying to be funny."

"...Wow." Shinmyoumaru giggled. "She's funny."

"Eventually she becomes annoying." Marisa removed her hat. "Now, come on. If we're lucky Remilia won't be awake yet."

The Scarlet Devil Mansion...was even more imposing than Shinmyoumaru thought it would be.

The sheer size of the property caught her off guard, especially since Marisa only let her out as she neared the front gates; she hadn't seen the manor growing ever larger on the horizon like Marisa had. Overlooking the Misty Lake, it occupied almost half of the entire eastern shore. The clock tower, tall and majestic, had woken Shinmyoumaru up in the middle of many a night. The facade, too, one could only attribute to a diva or a madwoman. (In the case of Remilia...both terms are applicable.) For one thing, it had barely any windows, resembling a prison in that sense. The scarlet tint of the few windows that existed were less aesthetically pleasing and more outright disturbing. A tall, dark, iron-wrought fence, though completely useless (if anyone really wanted to get inside, well, flying was a thing), added to the effect.

And then there was that red-haired lady, blissfully unaware of the intruders right next to her.

"Is she a guard?"

Marisa snickered. "She's always asleep, but yeah, she 'guards' this place. Name's China."

"Really?"

"No. It's Hong Meiling. But I call her China because she's Chinese...you can tell, right?"

Shinmyoumaru nodded. Then, she pointed to the star on the woman's beret. "And what's that?"

"The Chinese word for 'dragon', I think? Why?"

"No, I mean, why does she wear it?"

The blonde witch shrugged. "The hell if I know. We should probably skedaddle before she wakes up, at least."

"Yes, Meiling's quite the lazy one, isn't she?" a voice commented casually. "Why are you here, by the way?"

Shinmyoumaru yelped in surprise. After all, it wasn't every day that a maid instantaneously teleported in front of her. Especially not one with knives.

Marisa swore loudly. "What the—when did you get there!?"

Sakuya Izayoi's lips almost imperceptibly curled into a smile. "Must I have to answer that question? I thought you knew me, Marisa." Noticing the cowering inchling trying to hide behind Marisa's neck (hardly the most orthodox hiding place!), she managed to keep her surprise hidden. "And who's this?"

"I'm—" Shinmyoumaru's mind drew a blank, utterly terrified of this very immediate threat to her safety. "Um, Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. It's nice to meet you, Miss...?"

"Just Sakuya will do, thank you." The maid rubbed her temples, undoubtedly recalling Marisa's previous "visits" (I use that term extremely loosely). "Marisa, I know we're technically on friendly terms, but milady still demands that I stop you from ransacking Patchouli's library, so I'm afraid I'll—"

"What!? I don't do it that often! Besides, I'm here to ask her about stuff anyway."

"...You come by almost every day, but let's ignore that for now. May I ask just what you need advice on?"

Marisa let Shinmyoumaru leap onto her palm. "Yukari wants her to duel Youmu. With swords. And I think Patchouli can help her not get totally destroyed."

The maid blinked. "When is this duel to take place?"

"Netherworld party. We have, like, less than a week to prepare."

"I see." Sakuya thought for a moment, then nodded. "If you promise not to steal any of Patchouli's books today, I can let you in."

Marisa slumped. "Fine."

"Excellent! I assume you'll have no trouble finding the library yourself, correct?"

"Shut up."

This blunt request was granted. "As you wish. Follow me."

As the trio (more like two and one fiftieth) stepped through the doorway into the mansion proper, Sakuya hurled a knife back outside. A loud cry of pain could be heard.

Shinmyoumaru's eyes widened. "Wait, was that—"

"Don't think about it," Marisa muttered. "I try not to either."

"She heals rapidly," Sakuya assured them cheerfully. "Come on, now. I don't have all day."

As the maid led her guests down the hall, Marisa whispered, "Yeah, she's in a good mood today."

Up a short flight of stairs they went. Then Sakuya took a left turn. Then a right turn.

"Why is it so far?" Marisa complained.

"It's always been a good distance from the main entrance. You just prefer using the window instead."

"Heh. I guess."

Eventually, they arrived at a familiar pair of large, dark mahogany doors. Without knocking—such a formality was unnecessary—Sakuya pushed them open, revealing quite the impressive sight.

For a library, Patchouli's domain was incredibly spacious, and not just in terms of area. The ceiling was incredibly high, giving plenty of room to fly around. Thus, the resident bookworm saved space by constructing extremely tall bookshelves that could hold hundreds, if not thousands, of tomes. Enchanted candles and oil lamps provided the light necessary to illuminate the room, creating an alluring glow that electric light bulbs could not replicate.

Curiously enough, Marisa knew the layout of the massive chamber far better than Sakuya did, easily navigating her way through the many different corridors to reach her lethargic fellow magician. She must have been sorely tempted to nab a book or two for herself, but the presence of a woman with the eyes of a hawk and the knives of a—okay, animals don't have knives—probably dissuaded her from attempting to surreptitiously pilfer anything. Luckily for her, she did not have to resist the inclination for long; Patchouli was not so reclusive as to locate her desk in the farthest corner of the library. The trek took less than three minutes.

Patchouli glanced up from the manuscript she was reading concerning the peculiar effects of consuming pure sopophorous bean extract. "Oh, hello, Marisa. Judging by the fact that Sakuya is with you, I assume you decided to use the front door today." She put the text down, a smug look on her face. "I'm impressed."

Marisa rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not here to steal stuff today, either. Happy?"

"Immeasurably. Though why would you pay a visit to me otherwise?"

"Shinmyoumaru here—" Marisa looked around before realizing that the inchling had already clambered up onto the table and was currently reading with great interest the document Patchouli set aside. "I mean, there—needs help with something."

"You mean you think I need help," Shinmyoumaru retorted.

Patchouli took a long look at the warrior-turned-scholar before reaching for and grabbing something else on her desk. Wordlessly, she held up the Bunbunmaru.

Marisa slumped. "Crap."

"Poor little Marisa," Patchouli teased. "Getting beaten up by a girl the size of her index finger—"

"I'm a little bigger than that!" Shinmyoumaru pouted.

Marisa groaned as Sakuya giggled at one of the many images in the newspaper. (She didn't usually read newspapers, but this edition was an exception for sure.)

"Look, you even have a saddle!" Sakuya uncharacteristically gushed. "That's—"

"Can we not talk about this!?" Marisa wailed.

The inchling shook her head. "Nope! It's too funny!"

"It could be worse, you know," the elder magician said. "Koakuma's out right now."

"I haven't even said why I'm here!"

"Then you certainly may."

Marisa pointed to Shinmyoumaru. "Yukari wants her to duel Youmu."

Patchouli looked unimpressed. "And?"

"With swords."

"Oh." Suddenly the implications of this statement dawned on her. "Oh."

"Yeah. Do you think you could, like, help?"

"I swear, I never understand what that woman thinks." Patchouli grinned to herself. "Though this should be quite the interesting challenge to tackle. And it has been quite a while since you've been in my company for intellectual projects and discourse. Even Alice comes by more than you for that sort of thing." She scowled. "Though your reason for never staying is rather obvious."

Marisa scratched her head, at least having the common sense to be ashamed. "Heh. Well, you know me. Gotta do as much as I can in the time I have."

"I would mourn for you if I didn't know of your plans to become a youkai magician."

Shinmyoumaru, bored out of her mind, whined, "Why are you even taking me to all these places? Is Miss Youmu really that strong? Besides, Miss Yukari said I didn't have to win. Just to not lose super badly."

Much to the surprise of everyone, it was Sakuya who responded. "Last time we met, I defeated you handily, correct?" Shinmyoumaru nodded. "I spar with Youmu from time to time. Hand-to-hand combat. She is often the victor."

Shinmyoumaru seemed taken aback. "...Uh...that's scary."

"She's scary," Marisa corrected. "But not to worry! That's why you're here."

Patchouli had already brought out a quill pen and begun jotting down a to-do list. "I don't know what the magical potential of an inchling is, but basic spells are absolutely necessary. We'll need to get to those right away. If you happen to have some affinity for magic and can channel magic yourself then we can work on controlling the movement of air around you, healing cuts and bruises, that sort of thing." She looked up. "What did Alice say she'd do?"

Sensing that the conversation was about to become technical, Sakuya disappeared, quite literally, from the room.

"How'd you—" Marisa facepalmed. "I really am predictable, aren't I?"

"Indeed you are."

"I thought so." Marisa paused, trying to recall Alice's words. "Not much. Some enchantments that'll limit how badly she gets hurt by something, and as much practice as we need."

"As expected. Her dolls will be helpful, though." Patchouli continued to jot down various notes. "Next we'll get to the Shining Needle Sword."

Shinmyoumaru blinked. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing. But it could be a conduit."

"A what?"

"Conduit. Basically an object that eases the channeling of and amplifies the potency of magic. Some have specialized attacks and uses—" Patchouli looked at Marisa darkly. "—but even if they don't they're very useful. Your sword could potentially create wind projectiles, strike much harder than normal, among other things. I'll look into it. What else...? Size potion? No, that would detract from your greatest advantage. Strength? Could potentially have long-term side effects, and it's hard to find the ingredients. Stamina, metabolism...possible, though the ingredients are also hard to find."

"I've got a stash of Chinese licorice at home somewhere, if that's what you're missing."

Patchouli nodded. "That's one of the two. I need juniper berries as well; Gensokyo doesn't have a reliable source of them—"

"What!?" Marisa interrupted. "I get mine from the underground. Somehow they grow really well down there. The oni like 'em too. For food and sake."

Patchouli dropped her pen. Disbelieving, she asked, "Are you telling me I've deluded myself into manufacturing subpar juniper substitutes for the past year?"

"Um, yeah," was the inspired reply.

She cursed under her breath, inaudible to everyone else. "I'll have to look into that, then. Aside from that..." She seemed lost in thought. "Ah! You could spar with Sakuya."

"What!?" Marisa shouted. "Are you insane?"

"No, it's a fantastic idea. If she can't fare well against Sakuya, how do you expect her to fare well against Youmu? Now is a good time to spot any weaknesses so we can rectify them, and seeing her in action is the easiest way to do it." Patchouli smirked. "She won't be quite as good of a steed as you, of course."

The speed at which blood rushed to Marisa's cheeks was pretty fast, to say the least.

Patchouli's pretty fun to write. Kinda. Yukari is still better.

Thanks to everyone who's still reading, and come back in 2025!