Guess who's committing all sorts of fun little crimes with the time line/happenings? That's right ME! M'kay so this is NEVER REALLY happened. So NOT what was real. BUT! BUT! Go with me if you wouldn't mind? It makes things all the more fun if you goof around with such things. Again. A total warning THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE REAL. THIS ISN'T MEANT TO FOLLOW ANY REAL THING. Whoo. With that off my chest I remind you nothing of this is mine at all. But ENJOY!
For a long time we just stared at each other. Brown on blue. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. Reaching out Erestor put his soft and gentle hand on my cheek and stroked gently. Leaning forward he kissed me again and I closed my eyes and leaned into it.
I didn't want to scare him away so I simply kissed back until I felt his gentle tongue pushing along my lower lip. Then I opened my mouth and let him in. This time it was slow, and tentative as he gently pushed into my mouth and tasted of everything I offered him.
He reached forward and grabbed my hands and dragged them onto his body placing them tentatively on his upper torso. I ran my powerful, calloused fingers over the soft, thin white shirt he was wearing, feeling his too-cold flesh underneath.
I felt desperate and reached for the ties that held it shut, pausing only a moment until he gently shifted his chest underneath me, giving me more access. I pounced. My hands slipped underneath his shirt and I skimmed back and forth with my palms a few times desperate to warm him up. My thumbs brushed his nipples and I smiled to myself at the tiny groan that broke his lips.
I kissed him once more and desperate to bring those sounds from his lips again I latched onto his neck and sucked. Hard. He moaned, louder this time and his hands came up around my back, clutching desperately.
"Erestor" I moaned quietly and licked up his neck, pressing small kisses up towards his earlobe I| took it in my mouth and suckled ever so gently.
He opened his mouth and soft breath blew across my neck and his hands skated up my sides. And the cold of his fingers trailed fire across my ribs, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of my neck, under my ear and heat spread there too. Then he was gripping me tighter, and tighter, clinging to me as I suckled harder on his neck.
Then it was too much and I groaned lightly. "Erestor...too tight" I whispered and then I flickered my blue eyes open and screamed.
"Hello. Glorfindel." He whispered and I screamed again, but he forced his firey tongue down my throat, the horns slid from his long brown hair and my screams were consumed by fire and then I opened my eyes for real and screamed out in anguish once more.
Hands on my upper arm and blue eyes and blonde hair swum into focus. "Glorfindel?" he asked quietly and blinked his eyes.
I recognized the voice and my murky brain struggled to follow along. "Haldir?" I asked quietly.
"Thank the Gods" he said softly.
My neck burnt, my arms burnt, and my ribs felt like they had grown limbs and were trying to crawl out of my flesh.
"Haldir...what..." I began but suppressed a whimper as I tried to lift my head, the world was swimming.
"The Goblins mellon nin. They attacked you in the woods during the rain storm." He explained quietly, though I remembered nothing of what he spoke.
"Goblins..." I recalled something about Elrond and going somewhere...
"Elrond?" I demanded all of a sudden, the warrior in me needing to know the truth.
"He's fine." Haldir replied. "We came upon you whilst you were still fighting, 5 of your men were slain but they fought bravely and you most of all. You had only just come to a place where you could not continue fighting when we came upon you."
The delegation had been to provide Galadriel with extra soldiers. Brave goblins. "and Elrohir and Elledan?" I asked again softly.
"Everyone is fine, save your five men" he replied softly.
I relaxed against the...soft pillows beneath me. "Why am I..." I broke off quietly.
"You had surrendered your sword to spare Elledan's life, the goblin was standing in front of you with a rope 'round your neck...talking to you of the joke that he had put you through...that he would take Elledan's life surely as he would take yours." he continued.
I sighed softly and shook my head "if everyone is alive perhaps it be better I do not remember" I replied quietly.
"Perhaps" another voice chimed in.
I looked over as best as I could and saw a person in a white robe. A healer. "I was beginning to worry you would never wake. You've been asleep for four days straight." he replied running a hand gently over his shoulder.
I groaned softly and blinked heavily. "My dreams" I managed and shook my head.
"Dreams? Probably nothing more then a by product of the potions I've been pouring down your throat, or possibly the poison of the goblins." the healer mused.
I sighed, and felt as if my heart broke a little "I see" I said quietly.
"You certainly weren't enjoying them" Haldir said with a soft smirk.
"I wasn't?" I asked, confused...I most certainly had been!
"Your screams, mellon nin, such as I have not heard in a while" he replied
"It did not start out that way" The healer said, with his own smirk.
"Oh really? and what did you dream about?" Haldir asked, turning his attention to me again with a snort.
"Nothing" I replied, and though I could see (and the past would dictate) Haldir wanted to ask more, but the sadness and bereftment of my tone must have made him back off, 'cos he just chuckled and moved on to tell me of the injuries of my others.
I fell asleep half way and remained that way-under the torment of the fucking Balrog for most of the rest of the day. I awoke to Elrond around the dinner hour, who'd done his best to revive me, because he said that my writhing wasn't good for my injuries, never mind my mind.
I smiled weakly, but seeing his face made me think of maddeningly brown eyes and I closed my eyes after only a few moments, the torment of the Balrog preferable to the memory of Erestor's face.
My tears came as soon as I heard him left. "Fuck you" I growled softly and let the torment come. For two days I lingered like this. Everyone tried, Elrond, Elledan, Elrohir, my lieutenant, my captain, Haldir, Rumil, Orophin, even Celeborn tried.
I couldn't listen to them. When my lord or his sons came to me, I let the madness come immediately, surrendering to the Balrog, who wore Erestor's black robes and long dark hair. It had it's own horns and burnt out eyes, it's tail and whip. It stank of smoke and ash and whenever it kissed me I breathed in lungfuls of ash. But I couldn't bear to see THIER long dark hair around their angular faces...it was too much.
I tried to focus on my men, and on Haldir and his brothers, talk of battles past and to come, but inevitably I'd see the charm on Rumil's wrist, and the ring on Orophin's finger, reminded of Rumils bonded mate and Orophin's bonded wife. My mind would pitch and swell on the fact that I would never have Erestor in that way, that he would never be MINE. And I would surrender to my tormentor again.
Part of my mind felt foolish, and I knew that 'Erestor' was just a figure that my tormentor had created to lure me to him. and in those moments I figured that in my near death (the second time around) I had succumbed to some evil thing that was bent on taking me to its dark place. To have me for its very own. I knew that if I fought it, I'd escape, I'd be whole and elfish and good and strong once more...but I didn't want to. For the very fact that it was still my Erestor. My heart didn't want to be alone. Yet I didn't fade, couldn't fade, wouldn't fade, not because I didn't –WANT- to but because I just...wouldn't.
One night, as I lay waiting for sleep to take me after a particularly lonely day ( I think Elrond had made a correlation with visits and my madness and was trying to figure out a different way to bring me back) I turned over on my side and damn near leapt from my bed.
There was another figure that lay there, someone I had not seen before. Someone I was just seeing now because apparently he had been hidden behind a curtain until someone forgot to draw it. It was burnt, heavily. From what I could tell this person wore no clothes, was hidden just below a sheet, it's dark hair was singed, burnt straight down in other places, its arms were at its sides the hands being most burnt of all. For whatever reason though, the pinky finger and about three inches of the left wrist were un-burnt, pale as new fallen snow...except for the long streak of red ink that disappeared into the burn.