Drunk: Intoxicated with alcoholic liquor to the point of impairment of physical and mental faculties
Early Season 2, after Addison shows up, what happens in a random evening?
Suggested song: Arms Of A Thief – Iron & Wine
"Leave me alone but just don't leave me here alright?"
Derek Shepherd had a wife.
A gorgeous, perfectly dressed wife, who looked like Isabella freaking Rossellini, dammit!
Meredith, well, she was beyond mad, but that didn't really mattered. She just wanted to slap him right in the lobby when She held out her hand and introduced herself as his wife. And he even tried to apologize!
Mad was an understatement.
She wanted to smash things, pretending they were his chiseled, crooked face, except that she was tiny and her fists were ineffectual, so she just went with the tequila, knowing that Joe was going to be way more trustworthy than Derek.
The counter looked extremely entertaining all of a sudden, every crease and every dark spot form past spilled drinks the only things she wanted to focus her mind on.
Thoughts on counters meant no Derek and thinking about Derek was bad at this point. Way worse than staring blankly at a dirty counter.
"You all right over there?" called Joe when he noticed her head laying limply on her folded arms, a fair amount of empty glasses piling next to her, turned over like she usually did.
"He has a wife, Joe" she moaned and she felt stupid.
Stupid for caring way too much, stupid for moaning to Joe about it, stupid to even be in that position in the first place. She knew she shouldn't have gotten too attached, she was a walking and talking magnet for disasters; so there she leaned, on the counter, feeling empty.
Empty except for the tequila swimming in her stomach, in her head, in her whole body, her throat burning and the bar spinning, even with her head laying on a cold, dirty surface. Everything around her felt cold and lifeless.
"Give me your keys" ordered Joe and she obeyed like a little girl caught stealing cookies, her fingers fishing in her purse to grab the cold piece of metal that she knew they were her keys. She couldn't even focus on the content of her hand without the whole thing fuzzing around the edges and spinning uncontrollably.
"You're a catch, Joe. Can I date you, or you have a wife too?" she sighed sadly
"I'm gay, you know"
"I knooow" she dragged the syllables of her last sentence, before standing up. If the world spun on the stool, standing up seemed like a freaking carousel. But when the world kept turning, her thoughts couldn't drift to Derek and she knew that the tequila had worked her magic.
She stumbled out and stupidly, decided to walk home. A few blocks had been good exercise, when she wasn't unbelievably tired and drunk to her bones.
She didn't have the time to even walk the first block before she needed to stop and heave out the whole contents of her fairly empty stomach, gripping a lamppost like her new found lifeline.
"Stupid brain man" she hissed, wiping her mouth clean when there wasn't anything left to puke.
Her head was somehow more clear with the vomiting and the chilly nightly breeze, filled with wet raindrops, waiting the perfect moment to start pouring buckets. She could tell when the weather wanted to rain, because in Seattle non-rain wasn't an option. It just set the mood and it made her feel a little less empty when finally the first drops splattered on her jacket.
She was dripping wet in a matter of minutes, but at least she felt something other than emptiness. She felt cold and lonely and really in need of a change of clothes, except her feet were dragging on the slippery pavement, not bothering to avoid the puddles they met on their way, it didn't seem important right here and there.
Meredith kept walking until her front door was in sight, not even believing that she made it through the pouring rain without actually knowing where she was going.
It all felt numb and pointless and freaking cold without Derek.
But Derek was an ass. An ass married to a gorgeous, stylish woman who looked everything but Meredith Grey and somehow she questioned if he had ever loved her in the first place. Maybe she had been just a quick fuck to get over whatever his marital problems were and somehow the fucking was good and became an habit.
She couldn't picture Derek like this kind of man, but before the last few days happened, she couldn't picture him with a wife either. That Derek was new, and clearly not hers.
The bed felt cold and wet as soon as she climbed in, the remaining rain on her skin mixing with the soft cleanliness of the sheets. They were soft, smelled perfectly and looked just ironed, except that she hated them. The dirty ones smelled like Derek, his aftershave, their sex, their stolen glances before drifting off to sleep in each other's arms. Those were clean. Like the slate she had to throw when Addison Montgomery-Shepherd held out her hand and smirked.
She would have smirked too, if she had been in her shoes. Except that she hated three-inches heels. And apparently Derek married that kind of woman.
She had been nothing but the intern from the beginning, the easy fuck, the thoughtless sex, the one night stand became an every night stand, but that was it.
And so Meredith Grey cried, after so many years that she had done that, she cried, because for her, Derek Shepherd had been everything but a quick screw. He could have been it, if they just had a little more time, as much as the thought alone frightened her.
Derek Shepherd was the one and he was married. And her tears couldn't be stopped.
I hope you won't mind that this one-shots aren't really long. It's just that they are flickers, images that somehow I collected under an adjective and some are simply short. I didn't want to add much descriptions just to add up more words, they are just feelings. This is me, getting into the character's shoes and trying to tell you what it feels like. This one was harsh, I understand, both to write and read. Meredith's shoes aren't a good pair in this.
So far, many of you like the idea of this story, but feel free to say that an adjective is not brilliant or either, tell me what you would like to read about. I tried to spread the story in all seasons, up to S8, since some are the direct consequence of watching the episodes and needing to vent.
I also wanted to thank the anonymous reviewers Juni e cahillfive, who hang out around my stories often but I never really thanked. Here's me, thanking you and all theother wonderful people who reviewed.
Classes begin again tomorrow, but I'll try to keep the updates coming regularly. My readers know that I suck at that, but I'll make an effort. Just for you :)