*All characters belong to Steph Meyer.*

Thank you to Lotusblossom, maxandmo and my hubby for all the support and inspiration. Your patience and understanding can never be measured.

This chapter was difficult to write. None of this story ever happened to me, but I try and put myself in the other person's shoes. This chapter drove me to tears just as chapter one did. Please enjoy and read knowing I want my readers to feel as if they are seeing and feeling exactly what Bella is.

Please review, it helps to inspire another chapter!!!!!

Xoxoxox~~~~~ chainedirisheagle~~~~~ xoxoxoxoxoxo

~Chapter 4-Heaven is a playground~

~Bella~

As I awoke I saw the most beautiful home. It was large, white and for its size very inviting. Esme obviously knew what she is doing when it came to landscaping and decorating. There were rose bushes throughout the yard and gorgeous evergreens. Everything was green. The house was set far back from the road with the perfect amount of privacy. Yet, I can see how it could get a little lonely here at night. Now I know why Esme would love to have me, someone to share this lonely house with. I knew the house would be even more breathtaking in the spring with all the color and warmth.

Esme noticed I was awake and she helped me from the car into the house. As I entered the enormous structure I felt a sense of calm. It was gigantic but it felt cozy. Esme said she brought my luggage here days ago and put it in my room, not that I had much. She took me up the stairs to show me my room. The room was perfect. It was very feminine and floral. There was a large king sized bed placed between two windows. Just opposite of the bed was a marble fireplace. This room was larger than my entire apartment in Haiti. I knew I could sleep away the days in this room. Then I noticed two doors on the north side of the room. Esme simply stated one was the closet and one was a full bath. I thanked her for her hospitality and asked if she minded if I clean myself up. She politely excused herself and left the room, but not before she let me know she went shopping while I was admitted to hospital and picked up a few necessaties for me. She put some clothes in the closet and toiletries in the bathroom.

I went to closet to see what she had purchased for me and grab a pair of comfy yoga pants and a sweatshirt. I went into the bathroom to see a large garden tub and a separate shower. I decided to take a bath. I turned the water onto hot and poured in some bath salts. While the tub was filling up I looked at myself in the mirror and I was shocked by the reflection. I look like I had aged 10 years. After everything I have been through in the last week, I don't know why I was shocked. I still had the same large black bags under my eyes that I had in the hospital and my eyes looked empty. I used to have a sparkle in them and now it was gone. My cheeks were sunken in and I looked like I had lost at least 15 pounds. What was I going to do with myself? My own reflection was making me feel disgusted. I am not the Bella Jacob fell in love with, I was a shallow shell of that person.

I slipped into the tub and tried to get comfortable. I couldn't, I felt like I was drowning. My head was above the water level and I couldn't catch my breath. I began to sob uncontrollably. All these thoughts were racing through my mind. I can't believe I am here, in this new place, in this beautiful home without my family. How could I have lost them all? I knew next week was going to be even worse than this week; I was going to have to bury my husband and my children. I think my life is over¸ what reason do I have to go on? I had no one to live for. I sat there in the hot water sobbing until it grew cold. I got out of the tub, dried myself off and put on the clothing Esme had generously purchased for me. I shut off all the lights and climbed in the enormous bed. It was cold and too big for my frail and little body. I rolled into a ball and pulled the covers up to my chin. I was hoping I was having a very long nightmare. I had a hard time believing that this is now my life.

I laid there in a trance. I couldn't snap out of it. I needed to go to sleep and not wake up. I was able to eventually fall asleep.

I saw the children playing in the park as happy as they have ever been. I looked to my right and there was Jacob sitting next to me on the bench. He looked happy and content. I asked him how he was doing, he simply responded, "The kids and I are great honey, we are at peace. We never knew heaven could be this glorious. We miss you but we know we were meant to be here."

What was he talking about? Where were we? Was this a dream or a nightmare? I started to feel upset by his response.

"How can you think you were meant to be here, without me?" I asked upset.

"You need to stay where you are, you were meant to be there." He stated arcaiclly.

"I need to be with my family, my children. I can't live without all of you!!" I spat back.

"Yes, you are and you will," he stated this with all the love he had for me, "you were meant to help another person that is hurting, you need to help him heal. Then you can be with us."

I started to cry as the conversation progressed. He just held me while brushing the tears away. "Honey, I love you with all my heart and so do Leah and Seth. We saw your future; we know you were kept there to help another. Please don't be sad, we are so happy here. We miss you but we know we can wait to have you with us. Time flies up here. Just please stay and help him so you can come be with us." He spoke calmly and convincingly. I believed him. I knew he wouldn't lie to me.

"Can I talk to the kids, can I say bye to them again?"

"Of course you can. You know we heard you back in Haiti. What you said to each one of us meant the world to us. You were the best wife and mother we could have ever asked for. You are a special woman and you were a gift to us, we know that now. Hey Leah, Seth, mom wants to talk to you." He yelled to the kids.

The kids ran to me from the play ground. They both hugged me so hard I couldn't breathe. I hugged them back just as hard. Seth was the first to speak. "Mommy, I saw you in Haiti holding me and singing our favorite song. I will never forget what you did for me while I was down there. I hear you singing our song to me every night. I miss you but I know God needs you down there." He then kissed me on the cheek and let his sister speak.

"Mommy, I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. But I know you will be here with me after you do what God needs. I have already been watching out for daddy and Seth. You would be so proud of me, mommy!" I began to cry again. She wiped the tears off my face. "Please don't cry mommy, we are so happy here. We can see you whenever we want. I can always watch you. All I do is look down and you are there."

"Baby, I have always been so proud of you, both of you! You two know that right?" They both nodded. "Everything I have ever said to you two I meant with all my heart. You were the best gift your father and I could ever receive. You are both special and gifted. I will miss you dearly. I am happy to know that you two are so happy now. I can now continue my life knowing you are all here for each other in such a wonderful place."

Jacob interrupted, "Honey, he is here, it is time to go with him." He pointed across the park to a man approaching us. He was tall with copper hair. As he came closer I began to recognize him. It was the doctor from the hospital, the first one to see me after I woke up.

"Who him, why him? Is he an angel or something?' I asked almost stuttering in confusion.

"No, he is not an angel; he is the one you are meant to help." Jacob responded.

I gave each of my children one last hug and kiss. I couldn't comprehend my time with my family ending so abruptly. I felt like I just got here. I told them how much I loved them and that I would never forget them. They ran back to play on the playground. I turned to Jacob and asked him with my eyes 'why'?

"Like I said Bella, he is the one you need to help." As he said this he did the strangest thing. He rubbed my stomach.

"Ok, I will do what I need to. I love you honey¸ I will always love you. Please watch over me. Please take care of our children." I hugged him and gave him one last passionate kiss. I don't think I can remember a time where I felt so close to him yet so far away. He was like a mirage.

The doctor approached and put his hand out for me to grab.

"Take his hand, he will show you the way back."

I looked at my family one last time and felt at peace. I knew they were in a better place. I knew where I needed to be. I took the doctor's hand and we walked away from the park. For once I did not look back. I kept my eyes forward focusing on what I needed to do to get back to them. I left my family once more, yet this time I knew I would see them again.

I woke up to the sun shining brightly through the balcony door. I didn't even notice the balcony yesterday when I entered the room. I had a strange feeling come over me. Did that really just happen? Was I in heaven with my family? Why was I meant to help Dr. Masen? I had so many new questions and I don't know how they were going to be answered. Yet some of my old questions were answered with the dream. Now I knew why I was spared. I was meant to help someone.

Things were coming full circle for me now. I remembered the electric reaction our bodies felt when we touched. I remembered looking at him and feeling an immediate attraction. Well, I am going to have to figure out how I am to save him or help him. I now have a mission.

I got out of the bed and decided to make an appearance downstairs to see if Esme was still here. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I already looked different. The black circles under my eyes were beginning the shrink and I saw the faint sparkle starting to come back to my eyes.

When I finally located the kitchen, I entered and was overwhelmed by the smell of coffee and bacon. What a wonderful smell. Esme was standing at the stove removing a piece of French toast from the skillet.

"Oh, good morning dear. How did you sleep? Were you able to locate everything that you needed?"

"Yes I was Esme. I slept like a rock. Thank you once again for everything." I responded truly grateful.

"You look very well rested. I think you needed a good night's sleep. I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and made a few appointments for us today? We have an appointment at 1 o'clock at the church and a 3 o'clock appointment at the funeral home. "

"Esme, of course I don't mind. It was going to have to be done sometime and it is not beneficial to procrastinate. When will Carlisle be arriving with my family?"

"In three days. He just is getting some of the business in order because when he returns he plans on staying with us for awhile. I think he realizes he is needed here right now. Please help yourself to breakfast. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, thank you. I can help myself. Please sit and relax, you have done enough."

"Bella, it is nice to be able to take care of someone again. My son moved out many years ago."

We ate breakfast and we were able to have a nice conversation without feeling uncomfortable. I don't know how Esme does it? She manages to know what I need. She gives me space and privacy when I need it and company when I don't. After breakfast I began to clean the kitchen. I insisted Esme sit while I did the dishes but she dismissed me and got up to dry. Our light comfortable conversation continued. When the kitchen was cleaned we both went to our rooms to get ready for the days appointments.

This time I took a shower. I actually put some makeup on and made an effort with my hair. Esme made sure I had the proper attire to wear to the appointments. In the closet there was a beautiful pair of black slacks and a silk cream top. The shoes were the right size and very beautiful. They were black pumps with a moderate heal. How did she know me so well?

I met her downstairs at 12:30 to leave for our appointments. She looked sympathetic. She knew this was going to be a rough afternoon for me.

"Bella you look beautiful. Does everything fit ok?"

"Of course Esme, you know me so well. Thank you."

"You're welcome dear. Well, we should go. It will take us about 20 minutes to get there."

She led the way to the car. We drove in a comfortable silence to the church. The church was beautiful. It was a catholic cathedral, which looked very old. The priest was very receptive to all my ideas of how I wanted the funeral mass to go. He made very good suggestion and let me know all my wishes would be granted. I thanked him and told him I was glad he was going to be involved with the funeral. We exited the church and made our way to the funeral home. It was only 10 minutes away from the church.

The funeral home was a little depressing. I had to pick out the caskets for the entire family. It was very hard to look at the smaller ones for Seth and Leah. It made me think how young they were to die. But, I brought myself out of the depression once I remembered the dream. I remembered their happy faces playing on the playground. I knew they were on a better place. Once all the arrangements were made at the funeral Esme asked me if I could handle one more stop. I let her know I was up to it and she said we still needed to go to the cemetery and pick out a plot and headstone. We then headed off to St. Thomas' cemetery. I was able to select a beautiful plot below a willow tree. It was up on a hill overlooking the magnificent grounds. I knew if Jacob was here he would have picked this exact location.

We headed home after everything was done. I made Esme and me a simple dinner. After we were done eating and cleaning up the dinner dishes we both wanted to call it an early night, it was a very long day for both of us after all. We both went to our rooms. I changed out of the lovely clothing; put the yoga pants and sweatshirt back on. I was going to have to go shopping tomorrow and get a few more things for myself. I climbed into bed and slept better than I have in the last week since the earthquake. I felt comfortable in knowing my mission, my purpose. I was going to do what I needed to do and I was going to get back to my family. I also knew Leah and Seth were always looking down on me. I wanted to be happy for them. The idea that the children knew that I missed them and loved them, brought me some measure of peace. Tomorrow is another day closer to being with them again. I was going to have to find a way to get in touch with Dr. Masen. Maybe I will schedule a follow-up appointment with him. I wanted to know how I was going to help him, how was I going to help him heal? I guess I will find out soon enough….