"And you see it's hard for me to breathe,
When I get all worked up with these feelings."

- Goodbye Waves & Driveways, The Rocket Summer

Chapter IV

There hadn't been a ball for quite a while. In fact, why one was being held now was puzzling. I mean, the two kingdoms weren't exactly getting on. And people from both kingdoms would be there, like there always was. Not that I've been to many.

But despite all the disruptions, the ball was still going to happen.

You would think that I would look forward to them. It was finally a chance to talk to a variety of people, and I could dress up and actually stay away from Paul by mingling with the crowd. But I hated them. Because the only reason I was ever invited was when Paul wanted to show me off, and think that I was his possession. Which I was, in a way. Not that I liked to think about it that much.

All evening I have to watch what I say. Paul would probably prefer it if I didn't talk at all, since then there was no chance of me letting slip of any of his plans or any of the secrets kept at the kingdom.

So all in all, the evening is extremely boring for me.

I never meet anyone interesting there, either. I mean, they're all extremely wealthy and have tremendous power. And the only people who are important are males. The only females you will ever meet would have come because of their husband or whatever. Never because it's actually them who are important.

Which I find extremely sexist. It has been like that for hundreds of years, and nobody even thinks that it's wrong, and that we need a change. In fact, it's most likely because they wouldn't want to ask Paul or someone of that nature for it.

I doubt that even if I did ask Paul for a change, he'd do anything about it. He probably wouldn't listen.

After entering the hall, I was introduced to a few people – most people from other areas (even the ones close to where I live) have never seen me. I rarely came to things like this. I was never really necessary, and only came to the minor ones that we had just for our kingdom.

Why I was here now, I had no idea.

I was actually quite nervous about coming. After the incident with Isabelle, I wasn't sure what people would think of me. I mean, I had sorted it out with William, but I had no idea about anyone else.

The people from the other side would think I was just another evil demon. That I had been there so long, I had practically been transformed. They would probably hate me for the fact that I had almost killed one of their people.

And the demons would hate me because I HADN'T killed her.

So I looked bad to both sides.

Which was… great.

I looked around the hall, trying to find anyone who looked at least slightly interesting.

And found absolutely no one.

But what I did find was that I was in probably the largest hall on the earth.

I'm serious. It was gigantic.

There were these enormous chandeliers made of crystal hanging from the highly decorated ceiling, and some red and gold satin drapes hanging in front of the windows. Everything was done to perfection, and the whole scene oozed authority.

People were gathering around refreshment tables and making polite conversation. But most of the people were in the centre of the room, dancing to the music playing.

After seeing the direction of my gaze, Paul asked, "Would you like to dance?"

Without even waiting for an answer, he took my hand and led me to the centre of the room.

A few minutes later, he lowered his head and whispered into my ear, "You could at least pretend to be enjoying yourself."

"Oh, come ON, Paul," I whispered back, "You know I hate these things. Why did you bring me here, anyway?"

"Well, I thought you might as well get out for a bit and have some fun."

"Fun? You call this FUN? This is not fun, Paul. This is the complete opposite of fun." I hissed.

"Suze, Suze, Suze. Just relax. You'll enjoy it more."

I made a disapproving noise, and turned my face away from him, as if looking through the crowds.

"What's so bad about it, anyway?" he asked, oblivious to the fact that I was trying to ignore him.

Trying. But failing. Miserably.

"They're just… boring. Listening to a bunch of old people go on about politics and stuff… I'm sorry, but that bores the shit out of me."

He laughed, and we continued to dance. "They're alright. Do you even listen to them anyway?" he asked.

"… No." I answered. He was about to say something, but I continued, "But that's not the point. God, why did I have to come to THIS one?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone hates me at the moment."

Paul looked amused. "And why would 'everyone' hate you?"

"Paul. Come on. Use your brain. Surely you have one somewhere in that big head of yours."

Paul laughed again, and said, "Alright, my little Susie. Isabelle. You think everyone hates you because of that. But that is where you're wrong. Nobody hates you."

"Yes they do! Hey, don't call me Susie. I'm not yours, either. I m-LITTLE! I AM NOT LITTLE." I shouted, stepping away from him.

"Okay, okay, okay." He said, while suppressing a laugh, "You're not little. Just unuasually... not tall. You might want to keep your voice down, by the way. You've got an audience."

I looked around, and I noticed that I few groups of people were staring at me.

Huh.

I blushed, and turned back to Paul. He was obviously highly amused by what had happened.

The people who were staring turned back to their conversations, and Paul and I went back to dancing.

"So who is this 'they'?" he asked me.

"Huh?"

"You said 'they' hate you. Who's 'they'?"

"Oh. Just… Everyone. Think about it. They're either going to be mad that I almost killed her, or mad that I didn't." Did that even make sense?

"Not everyone."

"Well most people then."

"Only some." He said.

"That makes me feel so much better…"

He sighed, and held me tighter. It was strange. For some weird reason, I felt quite… comfortable in his arms.

"Suze, I…" he started.

"Yes?"

He was looking slightly above my shoulder, and over the crowds of people. I suspected that someone had just entered. Someone he didn't really want to be here.

I turned around to see who it was, but Paul put his hand on the side of my face and turned me back before I could see.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked.

"No."

He was starting to look impatient. Maybe the person had seen him… Maybe he was approaching.

Maybe it was a SHE.

"Look, come on." He tried to drag me away, but I wasn't having any of it.

"Who are you trying to run from?"

"Nobody." He said, now starting to look slightly panicked. This was actually starting to freak me out a little. Paul never really panicked. At all. He always kept his cool. Saying that, it also made me laugh.

"Come on, who is it?" I said, laughing.

But my laughter soon faded away once I turned to see who it was.

I froze. My face went pale and I went numb.

He noticed me, too. To say he was shocked was an understatement.

And then he started making his way towards me.

Paul grabbed my arm. "Suze, come on-"

"Susannah."

I looked up. Into those deep, chocolate-y eyes of his… The ones I had missed so much…

"Jesse. So nice to see you." Paul said, sarcastically. The panicked expression had been wiped clear off his face, and replaced with his smirk.

"Paul." He nodded politely to Paul, and then turned his attention back to me.

The song that was currently playing was brought to an end, and a new one was about to start.

"Susannah… May I have this dance?" Jesse asked.

"I… I…" FORM A SENTENCE, DAMMIT! "Sure… I'd love to." I finally managed to choke out.

With one last turn to Paul – who was looking extremely annoyed – I followed Jesse to another area in the hall.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Susannah." He said, once we'd started dancing.

"I could say the same to you too, Jesse."

But the truth was, I had actually half-expected him to be here. It was a major event. Of COURSE he'd be here. And who else would Paul try to drag me away from?

Even though. I couldn't see why I wasn't able to see Jesse. I mean, if Paul was allowed to have Isabelle, I was allowed to have Jesse.

I rested my head on his shoulder while we swayed to the music. It was so peaceful. And for the first time in ages, I felt relaxed and at ease.

"You look beautiful… You've changed a bit, too…" he said, looking down at my attire. I was wearing my emerald green dress, with black lace. My hair was curled neatly, and fell around my shoulders.

He had changed quite a lot since the last time I had seen him. He looked more mature – not that he didn't before – and even more muscular. When I had first met him, he looked dangerous. Then after getting to know and love him, I realised how soft he could be. How gentle and caring he was.

So although his figure loomed over mine and made me feel vulnerable, I could still see the kindness in his eyes.

"I missed you, querida." He mumbled into my hair.

Querida… I hadn't been called that for more than seven years…

And all those happy memories were flooding back… The times where it was just Jesse and I. Alone. With not a care in the world.

I had been so happy back then… And then Paul had just taken it away.

"I missed you too." I replied, "I missed you so much…" I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand. He was staring so intently into my eyes, as if he was reading me. He was always able to do that.

The moment was cut short, though, when Paul returned.

"Susannah. Someone wants to meet you. Excuse us, Jesse." And with that, he grabbed my arm and led me across the room.

I looked back to where Jesse was, but he had already disappeared into the crowd.

"Paul." He continued to walk, facing straight ahead. "Paul." I took his arm and turned him around to face me.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked, hotly.

"What was what about?"

"That!"

"Someone wants to speak to you. I didn't want to keep them waiting." He answered coolly.

"Who could POSSIBLY want to speak to me, Paul? Hardly anyone in this room even knows me!"

He turned back around, and continued to make his way through the crowd.

"For God's sake, Paul, WHAT is WRONG with you!" I shouted at him. Well, as loudly as I could without too many people hearing.

"What's wrong with ME?" he said, while staring intently at me, "What is wrong with YOU?"

"Me? What did I do?"

"You go back to him as if he hasn't DONE anything to you!"

"What? What are you on about? He's done far less harm to me, Paul, than what YOU'VE done."

He laughed, and hissed into my ear, "Oh really? If I remember correctly, Suze, it was HIM that gave you to me. Willingly."

"Shut up." I said, but there was a waver in my voice.

"He did it for the 'good of his kingdom', remember?" he continued, more fiercely this time. "Think about it, Suze. He cared about his kingdom more than he cared about YOU. That's true love there, Suze. No, really. But tell me, did it hurt? Did it hurt knowing that the person you loved didn't even try to save you?"

My face was pale, and my hands were shaking. He was bringing it all home…

He knew he was right. And what was worse, he knew that I knew it too.

I gathered up all my strength and pushed him away. Tears were brimming behind my eyes, and I could feel my nose tickling.

Before the tears had a chance to fall, I ran out of the room and out into the small garden out the back.

He always felt like reminding me of why I was living in the kingdom. Why Paul had power over me. He knew it hurt, and that's why he kept doing it. He wanted some sort of reaction, and he got it every time.

Out in the garden was a small birdbath. Large candles around the edge of the patio softly lit it up. On both sides of me were trees, leading out onto the forests that crept up the hills. In front of me, the ground just behind the bird pool made a sudden dip into a valley. You could see just beyond one of the hills the moon. It shone brightly and lit up the valley beautifully. I'd never seen The Valley like this… I'd never been able to leave the kingdom at night, and the small window in my bedroom looked out over the dingy courtyards of the kingdom.

This was unlike anything I had really seen before… It was so beautiful and mystical…

The only sound you could hear was the hum of the music coming from inside, and a slight buzz of conversation. Out here, apart from the occasional cricket or owl, there was nothing.

I looked into the birdbath. I could see my reflection quite clearly. Tears were streaming down my face, my eyes looked red and puffy and my hair had gone slightly frizzy.

All in all: I looked a mess.

I heard the creak of the door, and looked in the water to see the reflection of someone else.

"Don't let him get to you, Susannah." He said.

"I try, Jesse, I really do. But I just can't help it." I turned to face him. He was leaning against the closed door, with a concerned expression on his face. When he saw I was crying, he quickly stood up straight and came towards me.

He lifted up his hand, and wiped the tears away with his thumb.

"Oh, Susannah…" He brought me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head.

I sniffled, "It's just-" Sniff, "He usually doesn't-" Sniff, "Get to me that much, it just-" Sniff, "What he said… It hurt…"

I sobbed into his shoulder, and Jesse hugged me more tightly.

He brought me along to one of the stone benches, and sat me down. He sat next to me, with his arm around my shoulder.

After I calmed down and the tears were gone, he started talking again.

"I heard what happened with Isabelle."

I snorted, "Ergh. So now you hate me, too?"

"Hate you? I'd never hate you, Susannah. What you did may have been a terrible thing, querida, but at least you stopped before it got out of hand. I definitely do not hate you."

I sighed, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't want to do it. He MADE me. I didn't want to be in the same mess Isabelle and William was in, so I did. Everyone at the kingdom is mad at me because I didn't kill her. But…" I looked out over the valley, "How COULD I? I couldn't just KILL someone. After all, I had told them I would help them as much as I could. If I just turned around and KILLED her, an innocent girl… I couldn't do that Jesse…"

"I know. I know, Susannah." He brushed a lock of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"I had PROMISED them, Jesse. I PROMISED to help them, and LOOK WHAT I DID!" I stood up, and started pacing the patio. "I HURT her! And not only that, but I hurt myself! I broke my promise. I turned into another one of THEM!"

Jesse stood up, and stopped me from pacing. He grabbed my face and made me stare into his eyes.

"Susannah. You will NEVER be one of them."

"But I AM, Jesse! I AM! I HURT her. I hurt an innocent person!"

There was a flash of light, and a clap of thunder. The wind had picked up and was tossing my hair so it flew into my face. The trees were swaying, and the light from the moon died out when dark clouds moved in front of it.

"You did it, Susannah, because you had to." Jesse replied, calmly.

"No! No, I did it for MYSELF! So I wouldn't get hurt! I was selfish! I…" Another sob broke out of me, even worse than it was before, "I hate what I've become…"

My hands covered my face, so he couldn't see the tears. But I needn't have worried. He soon hugged me fiercely, so my face was buried in his chest.

"Susannah, you will never be a demon. I love you too much for that to happen."

I looked up at that. He… loved me?

Still? After what had happened? Even though, like Paul said, he gave me to a DEMON?

I should have been angry with him. I should have.

But the anger died away once his lips came down upon mine.

Sorry about the delay. I lost inspiration and was really busy to just sit down and attempt to write it.

A bit of Jesse for you there. Hope you liked. (",)

Please review!

Suze
xo