Sorry that it took a little longer to update. We were stuck on this chapter for a bit last, but it's all good now. Already got ideas for how to continue. I'll be visiting my family for a few days now though, so I don't know how much time I'll have to write. But I'll try and I'm glad that we finished this chapter before I leave, so you have at least a little more to read :)
Dean didn't really go anywhere. He just went outside, got into the driver's seat of the Impala and just sat there with his head resting on his hands which were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He wanted to get away but there was no getting away from an angel who could just follow you anywhere if he wanted. So he might as well stay there and see if Cas would come out to talk to him or not.
He sat there for several minutes trying to figure out what went on in the angel's head. How could he kiss like that, then disappear for days and when he showed up again at first ask about Meg, the only other person he had ever kissed. Maybe he had liked kissing her better after all, maybe he had ruined his only shot with Cas, Dean thought. But before he got the chance to wallow in self-pity Sam came out of the room they shared and, upon seeing the Impala in the lot, came up to him and opened the door.
"He's gone. You can come back inside now," he told his brother and it was obvious that he was confused by Dean's strange behavior but he didn't say another thing and just walked back to the room. Dean sighed and then heaved himself out of the car to follow his brother.
"What did he want?" Dean wanted to know, not being able to make himself say the angel's name. He was sitting at the table again with his brother, just like before Cas had appeared.
"It was just business, Dean. He wanted to know whether we had a lead yet and whether Meg has come back to talk to us about her offer of joining forces," Sam summed up the reason for Cas' visit.
"Oh," was all Dean could say to this, feeling only slightly better that Cas had only been interested in business and not in Meg personally.
"I don't think she'll be coming back though. She probably just wanted to find out what we know and she did," Sam continued trying for the moment to ignore his brother's mood.
"So that's why she took your research," Dean stated, finally able again to focus on the problem with the demons instead of his own weird and apparently irrational jealousy.
"That'd be my guess," Sam agreed. "So, you wanna tell me what the hell happened earlier? Because this hunt will be damn difficult if you can't stay in the same room as Cas," he continued after a small break during which Dean had brought out the whiskey and poured himself a generous amount.
"Don't worry, Sam. It won't happen again," Dean assured his irritating little brother and downed the liquor all at once. He set the glass back down on the table with a satisfying bang, signaling Sam that this conversation was over. Sam understood the not-too-subtle hint and got out his laptop to do some work.
Dean decided he needed a change of scenery right that moment and grabbed the keys to the Impala to find a bar. The town was small so there weren't many places to choose from and he picked the one which had quite a few people around his own age standing in front of. The place was pretty full but it had a nice feel to it and the music was okay so he got a beer and then observed the other patrons, especially the female ones.
There were quite a few there that caught his eye but it was still early and Dean went to shoot some pool before making his decision and charming a girl for the night. Some extra cash was always welcome to the hunters and the other guys playing could hardly be called competition. Soon he had won quite a bit of money and thought it'd be smart to stop before he attracted too much attention.
With his winnings he went back to bar to buy a lonely pretty lady a drink. An attractive, petite woman with short dark curls who was sitting by herself seemed like a good place to start. She kept checking her watch and had an annoyed look on her face. Someone had apparently stood her up. Perfect, Dean thought, as he sat down next to her, bought her a drink and started talking to her. She seemed happy to have someone to talk to and when Dean suggested they should get out of there she agreed eagerly.
On their way to the parking lot she hung on to Dean's arm and pressed close to him, which he registered but didn't enjoy as much as he used to. Maybe he was getting too old for these kind of things, he thought, mentally shaking his head at himself. It was probably good that the car wasn't far away so he didn't have time for more thoughts like that and when the woman admired his baby all negative thoughts were forgotten and he smiled widely at her.
Suddenly she turned to face him, went up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. Out of surprise he reacted and opened his mouth a bit, allowing her access. But once his brain caught up with what was happening he realized that he didn't feel a thing. He didn't even enjoy her mouth on his or her soft breasts pressing against his chest. After a few more seconds he felt like he absolutely couldn't stand her kissing him any longer and pushed her away a little more roughly than really necessary. But he was desperate to end this kiss at once.
She looked at him with an expression of surprise and confusion on her face. Also there seemed to be some hurt mixed in there as well.
"I'm sorry. I…I can't do this. I… should leave now," he stammered, stepped away from her and opened the driver's side of the Impala. The woman stood there looking at him, anger and disbelief fighting for dominance on her face. For a moment Dean thought she might slap him but then she just turned without saying another word and went back into the bar. Dean watched her until she disappeared inside, having a hard time himself to understand what had just happened. Then he got into his car and drove off into the night.
After only a few miles he stopped at a deserted parking lot and sat in the dark, gathering his courage for what he was about to do. Finally he got out of the car, hoping the cool night air would calm him and he made the call.
"Cas, are you listening? I think we really need to talk. Or maybe you don't but I do, so it'd be great if you could spare a minute and come down here."
The fluttering of wings and the subsequent appearance of the angel was so prompt that Dean awkwardly stumbled backwards in surprise. Castiel didn't seem to notice though or he just didn't mention it but he didn't react in any way, other than just staring at Dean expectantly, waiting for him to start talking.
"I'm listening," he finally said, when Dean remained silent. The hunter was still trying to figure out how to start saying what he wanted to say, almost frantically searching for the right words.
"So, uhm, sorry for just running out on you today. I don't know what I was thinking," he managed to apologize for his earlier behavior, though the second part of his statement wasn't entirely truthful.
"You didn't like me mentioning Meg," Cas stated bluntly and Dean could feel himself blushing at the realization that Cas had seen through his bullshit so easily. Good thing it was dark outside. He was embarrassed though and reacted by lashing out at the angel.
"Well, what the hell am I supposed to think when we kiss and you just fucking disappear for days? And when you show up again, the first thing you do is ask about her? That really was a dick move to let me know the kiss didn't mean anything," he yelled and tried to shove the angel away from him. But Cas didn't move an inch and Dean felt a bit crowded between him and the car.
"That… I never said that. I just came to see if I could be of help to you and your brother," Cas answered calmly but a little taken aback by Dean's accusation.
"Exactly. You don't even need to say anything, when you do things like that."
"I don't understand your problem," Castiel growled back, getting angry at Dean now. "I thought this job was top priority for you and yet you act like a child, running away when things don't go the way you want them. What were you doing tonight while Sam is probably doing research?" He glared at the hunter before him and Dean felt a bit guilty about that, which only made him angrier.
"I went to a bar to find a girl," he answered harshly. "I wanted to replace the memory of my last kiss."
"So, where is she?" Cas almost sneered, since Dean was obviously alone.
Dean stared at him for a moment, trying to decide how to answer that and finally settled on the truth. Anything else seemed too complicated right now and he was too agitated to come up with a plausible story.
"Oh, I found one. But when she kissed me it felt wrong, okay? You happy now?" he said very aggressively and tried to push against Cas' chest to get him to move away, no more successful then on his first attempt. This time though Cas caught his hands and then moved forwards pushing Dean back until he was trapped between his car and his angel, his hands still resting on Cas' chest, held there by the angel's hands and the weight of his body against him. Both men glared at each other, anger still shining brightly in their eyes.
"Yes, in fact I am," the angel finally replied, his voice still resembling a low growl. Then he quickly leaned forward to capture Dean's mouth in a rough and possessive kiss which was meant to erase all traces of the girl Dean had kissed earlier. Dean replied with a snarl and kissed him back just as roughly and with a bruising intensity. Their teeth clashed more than once but neither of them cared. This kiss was more of a fight for dominance which neither won but it served to mark the other as theirs.
After a few seconds they slowed down though and the kiss gentled as their anger subsided.
"Of course that kiss wasn't meaningless to me," Cas whispered against Dean's lips as they parted just enough to take a breath. "You are the most important being to me on this planet and no demon could ever take that place from you. Our bond is unique," he elaborated and slid his hand to Dean's arm until it lay on top of his, now shirt-covered, mark.
Dean shuddered slightly at that and initiated another kiss to show Cas just how glad he was to hear that. His hands were now no longer trapped and he trailed them over Cas' chest, exploring the body that was pressed so close to him. He really liked what he found and Cas seemed to enjoy it as well, if the way his grip on Dean's arm tightened was anything to go by. But just as he was getting ready to find a way for his hands to slip underneath the fabric of Cas' shirt, a few cars passed them and their lights reminded Dean of where exactly they were standing.
"We probably shouldn't stay here," Dean murmured and Cas pulled him back into another kiss before reluctantly letting go and they both got into the car to drive back to the motel.