Yay! Okay... Chapter 4! This one seemed kind of boring so I was like... Let's just make it really long-ish! For me it's longish. No news on my foot yet. That's good news for you guys! Let me know on typos cause I'm just gonna post it. I know I know that's bad writing skills but I just... I want to post it and I want to go to bed.

My lips moveon their own and press into his. I slip my hands around his waist and pull myself up to stand. Our eyes are locked on the other and I finally just close them allowing myself this luxury. I just hope I don't taint him. He senses I'm about to pull away so he grabs my cheeks. I can feel my eyes beginning to burn with tears. We need to stop.

Just as the first tear slides down my cheek we have to pull away for air. I quickly wipe my cheek and look away obviously embarrassed. "Izaya?"

I quickly glance back, "What?"

Shizuo looks uncomfortable now, "Why… Why do you cry so much?"

I look to the ceiling and give a dark chuckle, "Why do you think?"

He cracks a small smile, "Because you're an emotional wind bag."

I laugh at that and quickly feel more tears coming down my cheeks. "You could say that." I'm sobbing but I don't whimper or sniffle. It's silent. I move away from him and go to the kitchen. I begin crying harder as I brace my hands against the counter.

I'm slightly aware of Shizuo watching me. He doesn't say anything for a long time while I try to collect myself. "I… Izaya?"

"What?" My voice cracks as I take a deep shaky breath.

"It's okay you know? It's not like… You have to answer me, or tell me you love me too… It's weird enough, I get it."

I shake my head and look up at him, "Not the problem."

"Are you hurt?" He worries, mocha eyes light up with concern, "I'm sorry… I forgot you were hurt… I shouldn't-."

"It's fine." I say, "I'm not hurt there."

Shizuo's eyebrows furrow, "What?"

"My injury is not what is causing me pain." I move around him and head upstairs, "I'm going to bed."

"Sure." He leans against the door frame of the kitchen. "Sure."

I glance back at him and dry my face, "You… Night." I decide against inviting him in, it would only make me cry more.

When I reach my bed room, I peel away my shirt and sit on the bed for a moment. My lips are still tingling with the feel of his on mine. Don't get me wrong, it's not my first kiss, but it sure as fuck feels like it is. My fingers brush my lips and I quickly shake my head. I'm acting like a freaking movie character, the girl lead to be exact. I hear my door open and I turn to see Shizuo, "Can I change your bandages first?"

I nod my head slowly but remain silent. Shizuo is teasing me with his fingertips. Every time his fingers are on my skin, they linger for longer than is needed. It's slowly causing goose bumps to rise on my body. Once he's done and the bandages are in place he sighs, "I'm going to shower."

I nod again and draw the covers around me, after peeling my pants off. He nods and disappears into the bathroom. My head hits the pillow and I suddenly don't feel like crying. I feel like screaming and throwing things… The world is unfair and cruel. It offers me this good person to taint… To dirty. Shizuo is a good guy, and I'm the monster, he never was.

I take a deep breath and allow myself to relax and begin to fall asleep. My dreams start and I'm standing in front of Shizuo. He's smiling at me shoving a birthday cake towards me, "Happy birthday flea."

I'm looking at the cake and I suddenly am watching myself from across the table. Dream me smiles wide, "Shizu-chan… I don't like cakes that much though!"

He smiles wide and rolls his eyes, "I know… That's why I'm here. What kind of a birthday would it be without cake?"

The me at the table is laughing now and reaching for his hand. We're together. It's in the way he's looking at me… Dream me… Not the real me. Shizuo will never look at me that way. Thank you Shizuo."

I would tell you what happens after that… But I'm under a rating and it's probably too perverted for even mature ratings. I wake up and can fell the uncomfortable excitement. Shizuo is asleep beside me and that makes me more upset. I slip into the bathroom and relieve myself, disgusted by myself. "I hate you." I say to the mirror.

"Flea?" His voice is soft behind the door.

I shudder and quickly clean myself once more just for safety, "What?"

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, like he's scared of the answer.

"Absolutely fucking fine." I sigh and run my hands through my hair.

"Flea?" He asks desperately.

"I'm fine Shizu-chan." I know I'm about to lie, but it's only half a lie. "Just a bad dream." Yeah… A dream where you and me were enjoying ourselves, being together. A dream that is just that, a dream that will never come true. That's why it's bad.

"Oh…" He says, "Can I come in?"

I sigh heavily and decide it's safe for him, "Sure."

Shizuo has bed hair, but it's sexy bed hair and I'm jealous. I just looked like a drowned rat after sleeping, but he has that sloppy thing working for him. He sighs and looks at me, "Okay good."

My eyebrows knit together, "What?"

"I was worried you were crying again." He says honestly. "You shouldn't cry."

"Shouldn't cry?"

He gives a lazy smile and I'm drooling once again; Shizuo go look fucking good somewhere else! "You look better when you're smirking then when you're crying… I really hate when you smirk too."

I roll my eyes and shake my head, "So I'm supposed to smirk all the time?"

"No… I want you to smile all the time." He laughs and I manage to laugh a little too. It's been awhile since I've felt this relaxed and at ease. Even at three in the morning. "You have a really nice smile… You should use it more."

I roll my eyes, "Thanks brute."

He chuckles and moves towards me, "Izaya…"

I can sense what he wants to do. His hands rest on my hips about the time I place mine on his chest to stop him, "We should go to bed… Before anything else happens tonight."

Shizuo closes his eyes tightly, "Right… Right."

He moves away and lets me get comfortable on bed before climbing in beside me. "Uh… Goodnight Shizu-chan."

"Night flea." He whispers.

I know that we both couldn't go back to sleep very quickly after that.

We fell into a very normal routine. He would get us up in the morning, wash my hair, and go to work. I would laze around and ridiculously wait for him to come home. Since he basically locked me in the stupid apartment! After that we'd go walk around and have somewhat normal conversations, or we'd go get some food, or we'd go to the store. I felt like I was a dog waiting for his master to come home and walk him.

He came in the door after one week since my injury, "I'm back flea!"

I looked up from the couch, "Woof."

His face contorted into confused amusement, "Are you a dog now?"

"Might as well be." I sighed getting up.

We smiled and coexisted a little bit better than before. Less awkward moments and he stopped coming in after I'd fallen asleep. It truly felt like I was in a relationship without the relationship part. The dirty dreams stayed away because I started thinking about disgusting things before I went to bed instead of Shizuo lying next to me. He stretched his arms and yawned, "Sorry… It can't be fun being cooped up here."

"Then let me go out during the day." I glared lightly.

He shook his head, "You know I can't do that… You'd end up getting attacked and dying." When I turned to protest I was met with his back as he walked upstairs to change. "I need to go check on my house soon!" He called out from upstairs, "Pay bills and get rid of some expired food."

I totally had forgotten about things like that. "Oh."

He came back downstairs in jeans and a fading band t-shirt. "Yeah… So. I'll probably do that Saturday morning and you can sleep in."

"You don't work on Saturdays?" I questioned.

"Not until the end of the month." He cracked his neck and sat beside me on the couch. "People don't really need to pay up until then… Unless we can't catch them."

"I see." I flipped off my laptop and got up to plug it in. "So… It's Friday. What are we gonna do?"

I laughed, "My Fridays generally consist of pissing you off and running around trying not to get killed."

He rolled his eyes, "You need a hobby."

I slip on my jacket, "Well… You were my hobby." My cheeks flush and I quickly look away.

His mocha eyes softened, "Well… Maybe there's something else you'd like to do with your time."

I slipped my shoes on, "Okay hobby man… Are you coming?"

He laughed lightly and got up, "Are we going to Hobby Lobby?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes Shizu-chan… I am going to a Hobby Lobby, to get some arts and crafts, and model trains for me to assemble. No protozoan we're going to go get food."

He smiled and grabbed my house keys from the bowl beside the door, "I can only hope."

We walked down the street side by side talking about stupid things. Shizu-chan was going off about some guy with two small boys, who wasn't paying up saying he needed the money for tobacco. "What kind of a moron wastes money on tobacco?!" He said while lighting a cigarette. I gave him a blank stare for a long minute waiting for it to just sink in, "What?" I simply motioned to his cancer stick and waited. He looked to me and where I was motioning for a long minute, "I don't have kids!"

"You still waste money on them… Do you not?" I challenged.

He glanced at the stick and then to me, "It's not a waste if I have nothing else I could be spending the money on."

I sighed heavily, "Shizu-chan… Sometimes I really worry about you." As soon as the words left my mouth I knew it was a mistake. Here comes the teasing.

His lips turned into a wide grin, "Aw… The flea does care."

"Shut up brute… I didn't… I mean, I…" My face was ever so slowly turning bright red as I tried to cover up what I'd just said. "Keel over anytime really."

He laughed and shook his head. From the look in his eyes… I knew he wanted to kiss me. It was a look I'd learned over the past few days. He'd give me this smoldering look, I'd get embarrassed, blush, and then he'd realize he'd leaned closer to me. We'd share a look and then we'd both kind of chuckle or retreat.

"So… What do you want to do for dinner?"

He blinked a few times, "Right… Uh… I don't care."

"You never care!" I say hoping onto a cement garden wall. He gives me a glare, "It's like a foot Shizu-chan… Don't get your panties in a wad."

He folds his arms behind his head, "So… What do you want to do?"

"Let's go get Russia Sushi." I smile knowing what he's going to say.

"So everyone can fucking stare at us?"

"Maybe." I laugh and watch a cat stroll down the street. "Oh… Cat!"

I leap over to in front of the fur ball and began petting its ears, "Izaya! That thing could have diseases!"

The cat purred and brushed its black fur against my leg, "Oh… So bad… It's cute!"

"We are not feeding that cat, nor are we taking it home."

I looked up at him, "Oh so it's your home now too?"

His face went red and he rubbed the back of his neck, "Not what I meant…"

I stood back up and gave a sad look to the cat, "I wish it wasn't all alone."

"Izaya… Cat savior." Shizuo joked petting the cat once. "Someone will come along and save it I'm sure." He smiled when the cat mewed at it.

I stuck out my bottom lip and pulled myself away from the cat. "I'm hungry!" I sang moving on down the sidewalk.

"I'm aware." He sighed in return.

"Russia Sushi?" I questioned with a smirk over my shoulder to him.

He rolled his eyes, "Fine… What other choice do I have?"

"You don't!" I wanted to skip ahead but my stitched side made it hard.

Shizuo followed me in the door of Russia Sushi. Simon raised an eyebrow, "No fighting?"

"Nope… Just empty stomachs!" I replied happily in Russian.

He nodded with a wide smile guiding us into a private room, "Good! Good! You eat sushi!"

Shizuo ducked his blushing face and sat down at the table. We ate like normal. The silence that surrounded us wasn't always awkward and silent, but sometimes we talked about normal things and sometimes we fell into comfortable silence. Life was actually kind of normal despite us trying to kill each other before, and now both loving each other.

I stood outside Russia Sushi and stretched a little. "You push the limits of those freaking stitches and a long ass surgery a little too much flea."

I smile at him, "You worry too much."

"Do I?"

"Maybe." I laughed and began walking towards the park. "Come on!"

"Where are you going?"

"Wherever I want!" I replied with a wink. "Are you coming?"

"Would you keep yourself out of trouble if I didn't?" He said lighting a cigarette and following after me.

He followed me to the park and I sat on a bench to watch the sun set. He sat beside me, "This Shizu-chan, is one of the wonders of the world."

"The sunset?" He questioned taking a long drag, "Really?"

"YES!" I exclaimed, "The sunset is a wonder. People don't stop long enough to realize how beautiful it actually is."

"Oh." He said leaning into the bench, "I suppose it's alright."

"What?" I turned to him and gave a soft glare.

He smiled at me and took another drag, "Not many people spend their Friday night staring at the sunset."

I turned back to the rays of orange and red, "Yes and that is what is wrong with today's world."

Shizuo lay his arm across the back of the bench and sighed, "It's not bad."

We sat in silence for a while, watching the sun sink lower and lower. I felt Shizuo move closer and suddenly the arm was around me, "I know I said I wouldn't rush you… I know I said I wouldn't want you to admit to feelings you don't have… But please… Just… Give me some sort of hint to how you feel about me."

I swallowed hard and went red faced. "Shizu-chan."

"I'm sorry… You're… Sorry." He moved away but I caught his arm and held it down, "Flea?"

"I… Shizu-chan…" The tears were trying to escape once again. DAMMIT! I was about to be a few days tear free.

"You always cry. Why do you always cry?" He turned me towards him, "At least…"

I shoved my face into his chest, I didn't care that we were in public. I didn't care that I was going to taint him. I just wanted someone to take care of me, while I cried. "Just… Just take care of me."

"I hope you know… I won't take that as a confession." He said wrapping his arms around me tightly, "But I'll always take care of you."

I don't remember if I fell asleep, or if I passed out, or if both happened. I just remember waking up with Shizuo laying down in bed next to me. "Shizu-chan?"

"It's alright." He smiled and lay on his side facing me, "No one saw you crying."

I blushed and bit my lip, "Uh… Thanks."

He noticed how I moved closer and saved me the embarrassment. His arms wrapped around me and he snuggled me into his chest. "Goodnight."

"Shizuo?"

"Hm?" He mumbled half asleep.

I swallowed hard and bit my lip… I can't do it, "Nothing… Goodnight!"

Okay so that was Chapter 4. Sorry if it was boring! I just want domestic life! Explaining domestic life seemed tooooo boring. I hope you like it! Review, Fav, Follow... Maybe?! If you want to? Maybe! Will Izaya ever just say he loves Shizu-chan too? Find out next chapter! :)