AN: As always Twilight and it characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me.
"Captain of our fairy band
Helena is here at hand,
And the youth, mistook by me,
Pleading for a lover's fee.
Shall we their fond pageant see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!"
- A Midsummer Night's Dream Act II, Scene II
The first thing I noticed when we pulled up to our house was that Jacob was standing outside waiting for me. Jacob. Somehow with all of the drama of the day, I had forgotten that Jake, my best friend had come, just to cheer me up. I felt like a bad friend. He was smiling his huge grin at me when I got out of the car. I smiled half heartedly back. "So, how was it?" asked Jake excitedly.
"Oh, it was fine. Not as bad as I expected honestly." I couldn't help it, when I said the last comment, Liam's face flashed before my eyes.
"So are you ready for that race, you think you can win?" Jake asked. I turned to my father who looked rather impatient to get our conversation over with, so I sighed and turned back to Jake.
"I kind of have to talk to my dad about something first, but I promise to beat you after." I said as I playfully elbowed him in the stomach. He laughed and ruffled my hair. "Alright we'll see." He responded as we walked in the house.
"Renesmee, I'll meet you upstairs in a minute." My father said in a serious tone once we were in the door. I noticed my mother eyeing him suspiciously. I knew it bothered her immensely to fell 'out of the loop', but surprisingly, she didn't ask what was going on. I rolled my eyes and waved goodbye to Jake, who went into the living room to join Emmett in some video game. When I got to my room I plopped down in the middle of my bed and sighed. I really wish I knew what was going on in my own head. I had no idea what to make of these feelings I had for this stranger. I heard a knock on my door, and sat up. "Come in." I said quietly though I knew he heard me. My father opened the door, threw me a tentative smile, and sat down in my desk chair facing me. We both just sat there for a few minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. My father was the first to break the silence.
"Renesmee, you know I don't like intruding on your privacy, but also understand that I'm your father and it is my job to keep you safe. I heard what you were thinking today about that boy today, and I really think it would be better if you stay away from him."
For some reason, his statement made me angry. "Why? You wanted me to go to high school, not me. You wanted me to have 'human experiences', not me. Now I'm not allowed to have friends. Why can't you make up your mind?" I was shocked at the hostility in my voice. I had rarely if ever shown this type of annoyance towards either of my parents before, and now the thought of being told to stay away from a boy I didn't even know was causing me real anger? I think this whole high school thing was messing with my emotions.
From the look on my father's face he was taken aback by my little outburst as well. "Nessie, are you going to tell me, you don't have more than friendly feelings for this boy? I heard his thoughts too. It's not safe, or fair to either of you for you to get that close to a human,"
I looked at him and my eyes widened. I couldn't hold back my sarcastic laugh. "You're telling me not to fall for a human?" I asked incredulously. "Isn't that a little hypocritical? My father looked at me for a few seconds before answering.
"I have never, for one moment regretted falling in love with your mother, and I know she has never regretted it either, but that doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. I was completely selfish to allow myself to love her. Think about it sweetheart, there are so many dangers associated with being a human in our world. You know all too well about the Volturi, and even the best of us can lose control, it's our nature."
I sighed; I couldn't really refute this point. It was dangerous for a human to be in our world. All of the sudden I remembered the catalyst of this conversation. It was my 'feelings' for Liam. "Why are we even having this conversation dad, I just met this boy, and we barely said two words to each other. We're not involved in any sort of relationship or anything." I didn't understand my father's concern, for all I knew this could be some sort of teenage crush. I had never had one before, so maybe this is what it felt like. For some reason I secretly doubted that though.
My father looked down at his hands. "You never know what could happen; I just wanted to talk to you before you became too attached." He responded. He seemed like he knew something I didn't. Then it hit me. Alice's vision.
"Alice. She saw me and Liam together, didn't she?" I blurted out, stunned at my own revelation. My father looked up and met my eyes.
"She did see the two of you getting closer." He responded. "I just want you to be careful Nessie. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"I know that you are just looking out for me, and I appreciate it dad. I also know that it would be impossible for me to be with a human like that. I don't intend on being in any kind of romantic relationship with anyone right now, I just don't understand the feelings I have for him." I responded honestly.
"You are a very smart girl, I'm sure everything will make sense in time." He said as he got up and pulled me in a tight hug. "But remember you're still my little girl, and I wasn't quite ready for you to have feelings for a boy so soon. I was hoping for at least a hundred years, before any of this happened." I laughed and pushed him away playfully. He walked towards the door, and turned around just before he exited. "Jake is waiting pretty impatiently for you to come down." He added. Jake and my dad were able to form a tentative friendship in the years since I was born. They weren't best friends by any means, but they were defiantly no longer enemies, now that Jake wasn't trying to steal away my mother anymore.
"Does Jake ever do anything patiently?" I answered back. My father smiled and shook his head. "Don't stay out too long." He said as I ran down the stairs. I really needed to get out to think and the forest was the perfect place to do it. It was so peaceful, away from everything. When I got down the stairs I noticed the front door was open, and Jake had already phased into wolf form, with his clothes tied to his hind leg, waiting for me. So impatient.
"Alright Jake, first one to the river wins, and I promise not to cheat" I added knowing he would insist on that stipulation. Jake considered my enhanced jumping abilities cheating. Jake shook his head once and his big wolf eyes focused ahead of him. "On your mark, get set, Go!" I said and we were both off. Running was one of my favorite abilities, there was an indescribable and unbelievable feeling you get running at such speeds, with the wind whooshing past you. I could always focus perfectly and think clearly while running.
My thoughts automatically turned to the conversation I had just had with my father. What did Alice's vision mean? Were Liam and I going to be together like that? The thought should have been ridiculous to me, since we had just met about two hours before, but for some reason it didn't. It felt… natural. I noticed Jake gaining on me form the corner of my eye, and picked up the pace. The lake was in view now. I surged ahead and beat him there by a few seconds.
"HA! I told you I could beat you!" I gloated. Jake had yet to beat me in a race. When I was small he would let me win, but for years he had given up letting me win, and really ran. I was always a little bit faster. Jake's eyes got even bigger, and he growled a little. Not a menacing growl, but a playful one. I just stuck out my tongue at him. He ran over to me and bumped his head into my leg. I laughed at his annoyance at being beat, and patted his soft head. Jake then trotted off into the woods far enough so I couldn't see him to phase back. I sat down at a large boulder and stared at the sparkling river.
A few minutes later I saw Jake emerging from the trees with a frustrated look on his face. "Alright, I give up; I guess I will never beat you." He said sounding defeated as he reached the rock I was sitting on. He took a seat next to me. "Whats wrong Ness? He asked as he examined my face. He was as good at reading me as I was him.
"Nothing, I'm Just tired I had a long day." I responded. I contemplated telling him the whole thing. Telling him about Liam, and how I felt around him, how different he was, and how I wanted to get t o know him, maybe even as more than friends, as Alice had seen. How the thought of being with him seemed natural, even though we hadn't even had a full conversation yet. But there was something in the back of my mind that told me not to tell Jake about all this. I followed that instinct, even though I always told Jake everything.
"Oh" was all he said. I think he knew something was wrong, but he let it go. I noticed him looking at me intensely with that same look in his eyes as this morning. My inability to name this look frustrated me to no end, so I always hated it when he wore it. "So how is everything going back home?" I asked desperately trying to change the subject. This topic of conversation was unnecessary since I talked to Jake all the time on the phone, and was up to date on pretty much everything.
"Pretty good. Sam and I have been having meetings with the elders about officially reforming the pack. We just have to figure out the whole alpha thing." Jake responded with a bit of fatigue in his voice. I knew the issue of alphas and packs gave Jake a headache. Jake had split from his original pack under the leadership of Sam Uley sometime right before my birth, and formed his own pack with Leah, and Seth Clearwater. In the years since the relationship between Sam's pack and Jake's had healed immensely, they even ran patrols together from time to time. The elders at La Push wanted nothing more than the packs to be rejoined, to be one unit again. The only problem that stood in the way was the issue of who would be the leader of the pack. Sam and Jake were both very much alpha's. They both had that leadership quality that made them perfect for the job, and it seemed impossible that either of them should give up the role. That was the only thing standing in the way of complete reconciliation. Well that and Leah.
Leah was Jake's second in command, and absolutely did not want to rejoin Sam's pack. I honestly couldn't blame her. Sam had once been involved with Leah, but ended up marrying Leah's cousin Emily. Despite how perfect Sam and Emily were together, and how much they loved each other, I couldn't help but feel bad for Leah, having to sit back and watch the whole thing. Despite my sympathy for Leah, we weren't the best of friends by any means. Leah didn't like me at all. I always tried to be friendly and warm towards her, but she just resented me more when I did that. I just tried to equate her hatred for me to a general aversion to all things vampire, but everyone else at La Push had managed, or at least tried to put their prejudice aside when it came to my family.
I noticed Jake smile slightly and I looked at him. "Seth imprinted." He said his smile growing larger. My eyes grew wide, and I broke into a smile large enough to match Jakes. "That's great Jake, I'm so happy for Seth. I have to call him." I responded. It was impossible not to love Seth. He was so sweet, and genuinely kind and he deserved to find true love. I knew a little bit about imprinting. I knew it was a way of finding a soul mate for werewolves, and that it brought a strong, unconditional love with it. For some reason though whenever I brought up the topic with Jake he never wanted to talk about it. "Who is she?" I asked.
"Her name is Sophie. She moved to La Push a few weeks ago. She's a really sweet girl." Jake laughed. "You should see Seth walk around all smug, I give it about a week before Leah seriously decks him, and knocks some sense into him." I laughed at the visual. We sat in silence for a few minutes gazing at the river before I turned back to Jake.
"Do you think you'll ever imprint Jake?" I asked him. His face immediately went blank. I thought for a second, maybe he already had. I had never straight out asked him if he had imprinted before. The thought made me somewhat… jealous. I knew it was selfish of me to feel this way, I should want the kind of happiness Emily and Sam had for my best friend, but I knew if he did imprint on someone, it would take him away from me. He wouldn't be my best friend anymore; not really, he would be someone else's imprint. Jake regained his composure and turned back to me.
"I think there is someone out there who is perfect for me; someone who will love me unconditionally, and who I will love the same way forever." He replied without looking at me. When he put it that way I could no longer be jealous, because that's what everyone wanted, and if and when that happened for Jake I would be happy for him. Jake was staring ahead looking deep in thought. He looked so lost. I put my arms as far as they would reach around his huge shoulders, and rested my head on them.
"Enough of this sappy talk, I can hear your stomach growling, I bet Esme is cooking you a huge dinner." I said trying to cheer him up, from his pensive mood. "Well when you put it that way lets go." He said picking me up over his shoulder returning to his goofy self. I started playfully kicking my legs, struggling to get free. "Put me down you big mutt." I said as I tried pushing against his shoulders. "What's wrong Ness, your bloodsucker strength not enough?" he laughed. I growled at the nickname. He knew it annoyed me when he called us that, and I pushed away from him with all my strength. When I was free I stood back in a crouch and sprang, tackling him to the floor. We hit the forest floor with a thud; me on top of him. I grabbed him giant wrist and pinned them above his head. "Gotcha" I said.
He laughed, and that look momentarily returned. "Only because I let you" he retorted. I snorted very un-ladylike and stood up. "You wish" I said offering him my hand. He grabbed it and stood up, and we made our way back home.
I was right about Esme preparing a large dinner. It was a mini feast, and only Jake ate. There was no way I was eating human food again today, so Jake ate enough for all of us. I was really tired, so after playing piano for a while, and playing Jake in some stupid video game, that to his embarrassment I won, I went to get ready for bed.
My room was much like my room in the main house back in Forks. The walls were painted a light blue, which went well with the light tan carpet. I had paintings and pictures on the walls, among them an original Monet painting that I had gotten for my last birthday from my grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme. In the middle of the room was a huge wrought iron four post bed surrounded by an antique dresser, and desk, and a vanity that once belonged to a princess of some European country. Esme was a huge fan of antiques. I also had two bookcases full of books that I had read multiple times each. I had inherited my mother's love for reading. On the opposite wall I had an intricate stereo system that I barely knew how to work, and hundreds of CD's next to it. I had also inherited my father's love for music. My room was perfect for me; it had always been the one place besides the forest where I could really do my thinking.
So inevitably my mind began to wonder as I closed my eyes. So many things were running through my head from today. School, and Jake, and imprints, and phantom feelings, and Liam's eyes, and fear, and Alice's vision; these were my last thoughts before I drifted to sleep. But as soon as I fell asleep I was in the middle of one of the most realistic dreams I had ever had.
I was standing in the middle of the forest back in Forks, and I was with Liam. We were holding hands, and he was smiling at me. I felt the strongest feeling in the pit of my stomach of utter love and devotion. I was happy. Then I heard a howl. I turned my head and saw Jake in wolf form. He looked at me and Liam and ran the most heartbreaking whimper coming from his throat. I knew I had to chase after him, so I ran. I called for him, but there was no answer. It was so dark now, and I couldn't find anyone.
I kept running calling for Jake, and for Liam, but finding neither of them. Eventually I came to a clearing where light seemed to be pouring out of. When I got there I was horrified at what I saw. The first thing I noticed was Jake in human form and Liam both lying on the ground unmoving. The rest of the clearing was dark, but it seemed like there was a spotlight on their figures. I called their names in a panic but they didn't move. Then I noticed a figure standing in the shadows over them. I couldn't make out who it was, but the light was gradually enveloping the figure, and it was slowly coming into view. When I saw who it was I screamed.
Standing there looking back at me wide-eyed was me. Dream me looked down at the two lifeless bodies and held up her hands, which were covered in their blood. Right at that moment I shot up in bed panting. I had never had a dream that felt so real, or so terrifying. I had no idea what it meant, but it kept me up for the rest of the night.
The next morning had gone much like the previous one. Alice had dressed me, and gotten me ready, and Esme prepared me a large breakfast that I was forced to eat. Luckily Jake was there to finish what I didn't even after he had a large plate himself. That earned him an "It's not good to feed the dog table food" comment from Rose. I didn't tell Jake about my dream, or anyone else for that matter. I put it in the back of my mind, not thinking about it at all, as to not alert my father.
School was much the same as well, only now I knew some of the students. Jenna spotted me in the parking lot, and took the opportunity to invite 'me and my family' to a party at her house this weekend. I declined telling her we would be hiking this weekend, when in actuality we would be hunting up North in Canada where it was grizzly season, Emmett's favorite.
I tried not to, but the whole day I was looking around for any sign of Liam in the halls. Alice noticed this when we were walking in the hall, and asked me what was wrong. I told her it was nothing, but she cocked her eyebrow. "It's that boy isn't it?" she asked. I had forgotten Alice had the vision. "No" I lied. " I don't know what you're talking about." She smiled.
"I for one think it would be so cute if you had a little human boyfriend. You couldn't get too attached of course, but he could take you to dances, and I could get you all dressed up for dates!" she exclaimed. I rolled my eyes. "Alice, there is something wrong with you." I said as I walked into my class.
By lunch I had not seen Liam once, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. When I sat down after getting my soon to be wasted meal, my eyes darted to the table he had been sitting at yesterday. I felt a feeling akin to relief when I saw two beautiful brown eyes looking back at me, smiling. He nodded his head at me slightly indicating a 'hello'. I waved a small hello back, smiling probably too much. It was then I noticed six pairs of eyes on me. Emmett looking confused, Jasper looking like he would have a headache if it were possible,( probably from all the emotions), my mother looking hurt, as if she knew I was hiding something from her, Alice about to burst with excitement, and my father looking worried, and slightly annoyed. Of course they would have seen the whole exchange. I spent the rest of the lunch period trying not to look at Liam's table. When the bell rang, I jumped out of my chair, barely saying goodbye to my family and fled before I could be stopped my Jenna or any of my other new 'friends'. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now.
I made my way to the chemistry room early, and took my seat. When Jenna came in the room she waved and smiled and took her seat. She looked like she wanted to come over and talk, but I was glad she decided against it. A minute or so later Liam walked in. He looked right at me with that breathtaking little smile and made his way across the room. "Hi" he said as he sat down next to me. So I guess he wanted to talk again today. I wonder if he was looking forward to this all day, as I had been.
"Hey" I replied back in a voice that was for some reason an octave higher than my normal speaking voice. Before we could say anything else a big, portly man walked in the room. He informed us that he was our sub and that the regular teacher had a family emergency and could not make the class. He handed out a worksheet that the teacher asked to have us fill out in his absence.
"Lucky break, huh? Only the second day of school and we already have a sub." Liam said as the teacher walked around the room distributing the paper. I smiled and shook my head in agreement. I was trying not to stare, so I decided to fill out the worksheet. It was ridiculously easy, just basic questions about the periodic table. I was finished in not five minutes. When I was done Liam was looking at me wide eyed. "Wow you really know your stuff" he said amazed at my ability to do simple chemistry.
"I took a chemistry class last year at my old high school." I lied.
"And where was that?" he asked. He seemed genuinely interested in my background.
"I just moved here from Washington. I'm form a small town called Forks." I said. It felt good to tell him the truth about something.
"Yeah, I moved to this hell hole about a year ago." He had a bit of bitterness in his voice. I assumed he really hated it here.
"Where did you live before?" I asked repeating his interest from before. And I really was interested. I felt I needed to know more about him, even the smallest details were important to me.
"Oh all over the place. My mom is kind of crazy, she always moved us around when I was a kid. I've lived in Boston, New York ,Chicago, Miami, LA and a few more I can't remember from when I was really young. We always stuck to the cities though. This is my first venture into suburbia." He said with a hint of nostalgia in his voice.
"What made her want to move here then?" I asked. His face immediately got serious.
"I live with my dad now. She kind of shipped me off." He said the last part in the same bitter tone he used before, but with definite sadness in his eyes. I could tell that he was hurting, and that there was more to this story, but I decided not to ask."My dad's cool though, he lets me do pretty much what I want, and gives me my space. What else could I really ask for?" he added. I smiled a small smile at him in return.
"So what about you, what brings you here?" He asked.
"My dad is a doctor and he was offered a position at the hospital in town, so he took it." I told him our concocted story, again feeling wrong for having to lie to him.
"So do you like it here?"
"It's … adequate" I decided that would work. "I just miss my friends from home." I said explaining my answer.
"Well good luck finding friends here. Pretty much everyone in this town are assholes." I blushed slightly at his use of the swear word.
"Well I have my siblings to keep me company." I said "And a few people here seem nice enough."
"Is that who you were sitting at with lunch?" he asked referring to my 'siblings'.
"Yeah. We're all adopted or foster children, so we're all around the same age. We're pretty close."
"That's cool. I always wished I had brothers or sisters; people who would be there for you no matter what. He paused. I hope you don't mind me asking, and you don't have to answer, but what happened to you real parents?" He asked seeming nervous about upsetting me.
"They died when I was very young. Carlisle and Esme adopted my twin brother Edward and I." I looked down because I couldn't look at him in the face when I lied to him.
"Oh shit, sorry I didn't want to upset you or anything. I just feel really… comfortable talking to you, and sometimes my brain works without a filter." He said thinking that he upset me. I looked up excited at the fact that he felt the same way talking to me as I did him.
"Don't worry about it. They died when I was very young, I barely remember them." He looked relieved that he didn't upset me.
"Alright if I say anything that bothers you just slap me or something. I don't socialize with many people and my social cues are kind of off." He said trying to lighten the mood.
"I'll be sure to do that" I said with a smile.
"So how old are you Nessie?" he asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. I smiled at his use of the nickname I told him to use yesterday.
"I'm sixteen." I told him. "You?"
"I'll be eighteen in a few months." He said seeming like he was counting down the days.
"You must be a senior then. I thought this class was for sophomores and juniors." I said.
"Well my chemistry teacher in New York where I was living at the time, failed me due to… personal issues, so I had to retake the class." He responded.
"Personal issues?" I questioned.
"Yeah, I kind of called him a 'stupid son of a bitch' or something like that the day the principal was observing the class, and then preceded to TP his house the next day. It wasn't my fault though. He was a dick." He recounted. I laughed. If anyone else told me a story using his choice expletives I would have been put off, by their crude behavior, but it didn't bother me coming from him. It just fit; that's how he was.
The rest of the class continued like that. We kept up easy conversation, laughing and joking around like we had known each other for years instead of a day. It was so easy to be myself around him. I told him about my love for music, which is something that we both shared in common, and how I could play the piano. Liam found that fascinating. He told me he could play the guitar. I was actually opening myself up to him, telling him things about me that were actually true, and not a part of the whole charade-well at least as much as I possibly could; because as much as I wanted to know him, I wanted him to know me as well. When the bell rang it felt like we had only been talking for minutes instead of a whole hour. But he didn't get up and run out as he did yesterday, instead he stayed put eyeing me with a smile.
"There is something so…different about you Nessie." He said echoing my word for him. "I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like I've known you for a lot longer than a day. Oh God, I sound like an idiot" he added. I laughed at the fact that he was obviously flustered around me, just as I was around him.
"Well I have to get home" I said disappointed that I had to end our conversation, but not wanting to keep my family waiting, as to not raise any questions. "I'll see you tomorrow though?" I asked.
"Yeah, definitely" he responded a smile lighting up his gorgeous face. As I got up my hand brushed his and I felt the strangest electrical current run between us. He looked as if he felt it to, and grabbed onto my hand for a second. "You want to do something tomorrow after school? I know this really cool place if you want to just hang out." He asked letting go of my hand. I was so excited by his invitation that I responded without thinking.
"Yes. I would really like that" I responded. Then I turned to leave, already excited for tomorrow. What was I doing? I thought to myself. I can't let myself get too emotionally involved with this boy no matter how I felt about him, because the truth was, we were different. There was no way he could get to know the real me, because the real me wasn't human. I was getting my hopes up for nothing. We weren't meant to be together no matter how I felt, or what Alice's visions said. We were too different.
I couldn't help the feeling of sadness that this fact caused me. I knew I had feelings for him, and I was pretty sure he had feelings for me. As I made my way to my dad's car I couldn't help think of his face, those eye, his hair that I just wanted to run my fingers through. I thought about his voice and the sadness in his eyes when he talked about his mother. His penchant for swear words, and his musical laugh. Then I remembered the conversation with my father yesterday and my dream from last night. My mind began to wonder and I saw a whole different set of scenarios.
I saw him standing in front of the menacing figure of Aro , who had once haunted my dreams. I saw him under the torturous glare of the sadistic Jane calling out for help. I saw him being circled by a group of hungry, red eyed vampires. Then I saw me trying to kiss him and losing control, and going straight for his neck. I was so foolish to think that anything could happen between us. I couldn't let any of this happen. No matter how much it hurt me I had to promise myself I would not let myself fall in love with him.
Then I thought about how it felt to talk and laugh with him. I was pretending to be human, and part being human was having friends. If there was anyone I had met here that I wanted to get to know better it was Liam. So I would do just that. I was too selfish to cut him out of my life completely, and I was pretty sure I had enough control to prevent myself from falling in love with him, or at very least enough common sense to not act on the feeling. But it couldn't hurt to be friends, could it?
AN: I posted my 'casting' of Renesmee and Liam on the bottom of my profile. It was so hard for me to find suitable people for them, because I wrote their descriptions before I even thought about actually putting a face to them. I will probably add more characters as the story progresses. So check it out, and please leave your lovely reviews thanks so much!