I would like to thank everyone who took time to write a review on my first three chapters. This is the first time I have published any of my writing and I really appreciate any and all feedback. Being a first time user of this site, I didn't realize that each chapter had to be its own document, and a few paragraph breaks got messed up when I changed everything over. I will make sure to be more mindful of this in the future. Thank you again I hope you all enjoy the next few chapters.
Chapter 4: Universal Truths are called into Question
Elizabeth spent the remainder of the day by Jane's side, putting cool compresses to her head and trying to sooth her fitful sleep. She also took Mrs. Morris' advice and removed the heavy blankets from Jane, keeping her covered only in a light sheet in an attempt to bring down her body temperature.
Much to Elizabeth's surprise, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst also stayed with Jane, trying to make themselves useful and help Elizabeth's efforts to calm and comfort her sister. Elizabeth was forced to re-evaluate her opinion of the two women based on what she witnessed throughout the afternoon.
Elizabeth was sure that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst would avoid Jane's sickroom at all cost, but they had not. There was genuine concern written on their faces on seeing their friend burning with a high fever, and tossing about on the bed in a fitful fever induced sleep. They had followed all of Elizabeth's instructions as to the care of her sister without question or complaint. They had even been kind enough to stay with Jane while Elizabeth went downstairs for a light mid-day meal, insisting that they would take their meal in Jane's room so Elizabeth could have a short break.
'Perhaps Jane was right,' Elizabeth thought as she directed a maid in the unpacking of her trunks that had just arrived from Longbourn, 'Caroline and Louisa did seem to improve upon closer acquaintance.' In light of the startling number of misconceptions she had about the Netherfield party (all of which were quickly being called into question), she began to question her own power of observation.
Having already changed for dinner, Lizzy was back in Jane's room putting the final touches on her hair, once again lost in deep contemplation. Elizabeth had always prided herself on being able to uncover subtle signs that would give away a person's true character. Up until now, these powers of observation had never failed her. How was it then that everything she held to be absolute fact about these people could be so quickly called into question, and overturned in the course of a single day? Even Mr. Bingley, who she considered to be a rather easy character study, had surprised her by confronting his friend. At least this was a pleasant surprise. She had always felt that Mr. Bingley was too easily led by Mr. Darcy and his sisters, and had seriously considered if he would make a good husband to her Dear Jane. Now those fears she held for her sister's future happiness were put to rest. She was now confident that there were no two people better suited to each other than Jane and Mr. Bingley.
She was so caught up in these thoughts and questions that plagued her mind that she nearly jumped when Jane's soft voice broke the silence of the room. "You look lovely, Lizzy" Jane said as she tried to move into a sitting position. Lizzy had just finished putting the final touches on her simple yet elegant hairstyle, and making herself a silent vow to make an effort to really get to know the Netherfield party. When she saw her sister trying to sit up, she was by her side immediately gently urging her to lie back down and not exert herself. Lizzy felt her resolve to make an effort at getting better acquainted with everyone start to waver when Jane had suddenly awoken. She could not in good conscience go down to dinner and enjoy herself while her sister was awake and miserable. No, she could not leave Jane.
Jane could see these thoughts forming in her sisters mind, such was their bond, and put up a hand in protest before Lizzy could give voice to her thoughts.
"Lizzy" Jane said in a weak and tired voice "I will not have you forego a pleasant dinner with company just to sit here and watch me drift in and out of sleep."
Lizzy started to protest, but Jane would have none of it. "Besides," Jane continued "you look far too lovely to just sit here and attend my sick room nonstop. Perhaps you could bring me back some stories and information on how…er…everyone is doing?" Jane blushed prettily as she finished.
Elizabeth just smiled and said "Of course I will bring you back news of your Mr. Bingley." Elizabeth's full smile changed to a smirk as she continued. "As to looking lovely, you are too kind as always dear one. Even sick with a fever you, Jane are ten times prettier than I could ever be."
"Lizzy" Jane began, readjusting herself on the pillows, "first of all he is not my Mr. Bingley. No matter what I may feel, I have had no indication that he wants anything more than my friendship. Secondly, do not speak so of yourself. I fear Mamma's constantly going on about my beauty is having an ill effect on you, and I am sorry. You know I would never speak an untruth to you, and Lizzy you truly are quite beautiful."
As Jane ended her speech, her lip was quivering trying to hold back the tears for the hurt her sister must feel at always being compared to herself. Lizzy quickly wrapped her sister in a warm hug trying to reassure her. True, their Mamma had always gone on and on about how plain her other daughters were compared to Jane (except Lydia of course, being her mother's favorite), but Lizzy has never minded. That is she had never minded until Mr. Darcy's comment about her being only 'tolerable'. Until that moment she had never taken to heart what her mother said. After all it was true that Jane was extraordinarily beautiful, and Lizzy knew that while she did not possess Jane's classic beauty, she was far from plain. Upon hearing the most devastatingly handsome man she ever beheld say that she was 'tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt him', every cut that her mother had ever made about her lack of beauty became true in her mind. Lizzy had tried to laugh it off for fear that if she didn't she would succumb to tears, but even now, the pain of her mother's and Mr. Darcy's criticism was still raw. What was worse, was that she had never considered how Jane might feel about their mother's constant ranting. Lizzy suddenly felt that she was a wretched person indeed, never to notice Jane's unease at being the constant subject of their mother's praise. Of course dear sweet Jane, who always wanted everyone happy, would feel the slight on her sister's behalves. She wrapped Jane in one more loving hug, and promised not to speak so meanly of herself in the future. With a new resolve, she left Jane to go down to dinner, acutely feeling just how blind she had been.
Bingley had done his part, in assuring that Elizabeth would stay with Jane at Netherfield to give Darcy a chance to change her opinion of him without the constant intrusion of her family. Now it was up to Darcy to try and set things right and this mere thought had him in a state of extreme agitation.
Mr. Darcy was dressed for dinner and anxiously pacing his room, his thoughts and concerns flooding his mind so rapidly that they seemed to overlap into a jumbled mess.
'What if she doesn't accept my apology? What if she wants nothing to do with me? Maybe I should just leave. Why can't I conquer this? Why do I want to… it feels so right. Oh God, I think I am going crazy…' as this last thought entered his mind, a new (and more productive) thought struck him. 'Georgiana. Surely Elizabeth would not refuse a friendship with my sister, and I am always at my best with Georgiana by my side. Elizabeth… (when did she become Elizabeth in my thoughts?)… oh it doesn't matter. Elizabeth is too kind to refuse a friendship with my sister, no matter how she feels about me. This could be good for Georgie too, Elizabeth's open nature is sure to help draw Georgie out of her shell. DAMN Wickham for crushing her fragile heart! I have already told Georgie so much about Elizabeth, and she had expressed a wish to meet her. Yes! This is perfect! I have to find Bingley and put this into action at once.'
As Darcy rushed from his room, he nearly collided with Bingley. "Darcy!" Bingley said in surprise while glancing around to make sure they were alone. "I was just coming to find you. I was thinking that perhaps someone else could benefit from this little plan of ours."
Darcy looked at him in confusion, prompting Bingley to continue. "I was thinking, Darcy, that perhaps we should invite Miss Darcy to Netherfield for a while. Miss Bennet's kindness and Miss Elizabeth's lively nature may be just what she needs to put the unfortunate events of last summer behind her for good."
Darcy, unable to control himself, laughed almost to the point of tears, as Bingley looked on in astonishment and confusion, wondering if his friend had lost grip of his full faculties. When Darcy was finally able to compose himself, he clapped Bingley on the shoulder with a smile, and said "I was just coming to find you to seek your approval for that exact thing."
"Good" Bingley said with a light chuckle, still not sure that his friend was in total control of his senses "then you will send for her immediately while the Bennet ladies are still guests?"
"Yes," replied Darcy "I shall send and express immediately to Georgiana and my cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam to accompany her, if that meets with your approval."
"Agreed!" said Bingley with his normal good humor, and the two gentlemen made their way downstairs to make sure the expresses were sent off before dinner, in the hope that they would get a reply tonight.
As Elizabeth stepped out of Jane's room to go down to dinner, she heard a masculine, yet musical laughter filling the halls. Had she not heard that same laugh earlier today, she would have assumed that Mr. Bingley had another guest. She immediately recognized the laughter to be that of Mr. Darcy, and unconsciously smiled at the musical sound.
'I could listen to that laugh forever, and never tire of it… Oh, what am I thinking? Mr. Darcy has no interest in me… and why am I even thinking such thoughts? I have never desired his good opinion, and besides I am sure I am nothing to the fashionable ladies of the Ton he is used to.' She was surprised and uneasy at her first thoughts and immediately tried to suppress them.
There was something about the way his laughter filled the halls and surrounded her, however that would not let her mind quit the subject. She suddenly found herself wishing that it was her that bought out the happy and playful side of Mr. Darcy that she had just come to know existed, and no matter how hard she tried, she could not turn her mind to another subject.
Eloise, the maid who had been assigned to Jane, broke her thoughts as she stopped to ask Elizabeth if there was anything that she or her sister required. This brought a blush to Elizabeth's face, realizing that she had just been standing there in the hallway lost in her own thoughts for some minutes. "No, I thank you Eloise" she kindly said to the maid, "but please come fetch me immediately if my sister requires me." With that the maid smiled and dropped a quick curtsy before entering Jane's room, and Elizabeth started down the stairs to dinner.
As Elizabeth reached the bottom of the steps, she saw Mr. Darcy handing two letters to an express rider. She momentarily considered asking him if anything was the matter, for sending two expresses at this time of evening usually meant trouble, but dismissed the thought. He would not appreciate her asking over his private affairs. Instead, she breathed a small sigh of relief, happy that her wayward thought had not kept everyone waiting on her to dine. Just as she was turning to go join the others in the sitting room, he called out to her, much to her surprise.
"Miss Elizabeth, you look quite well tonight. Pray, how does Miss Bennett fare?" He asked with an odd mixture of pleasure and concern on his face.
Elizabeth tried to hide the surprise, and pleasure she felt at his compliment, but as her eyes met his, she could not help the blush that crept over her cheeks and down her neck.
"I…I thank you Mr. Darcy," she stammered, wanting to look away but finding it impossible to free herself from his intense gaze, "my sister is still feverish, but resting quietly at the moment."
"I am glad Miss Bennet is resting comfortably, so that you are able to join us for dinner," He said quite boldly, "I know that you would not leave her if you were not assured of her comfort while you were away."
At this last statement, Elizabeth broke his gaze. 'What could he mean by complimenting me, and then implying my company is actually welcome? I thought he despised me…' the thoughts raced through her head.
When she again looked up, he had closed the gap between them, and was extending his arm, asking if he could escort her into the drawing room. She took his arm and nodded, unable to form words due to the turmoil of thoughts and emotions running through her. As she slipped her hand into his arm, it nearly took her breath away. Even through the layers of clothes that separated them, she could feel the strong muscles of his arm and the heat of his skin, and was a little concerned that she did not dislike the feelings his well chiseled frame created within her.
If she had not been so preoccupied trying to control her own thoughts and countenance, she would have noticed Mr. Darcy's sharp intake of breath as her hand made contact with his arm. As it was, each of them was so distracted by their own thoughts, that neither noticed the others reaction.
Note: It is my plan to try and post 1-2 chapters a week. I am at the mercy of my 18 month old daughters nap schedule so this may not always work out. I will try not to keep you all waiting too long between posts.