A/N: Thanks to RachelFish for her eagle eyes. She's amazing! And if you're reading this, you're amazing too. :)
A good song for this chapter: "I Still Care For You" by Ray LaMontagne
Sneak Peek: "I don't want to be that resentful, cynical girl that got dumped."
Over the three or so weeks leading up to Halloween, Bella slowly comes out of her depressed, semi-withdrawn state. We spend a lot of time together, going on runs and hanging out with Rose and my siblings. On Halloween night, I go with her to take her little brother trick-or-treating as promised. I love kids, but to be honest, I'd do anything to spend more time with Bella.
I don't know what I was expecting, but I get a huge kick out of this kid.
Benji's ecstatic to see Bella, and as soon as we walk through her parents' front door, her face lights up the same way it does when she talks about him. "Hey, little guy," she says as she hugs and kisses him.
"You mean Anakin," he says, backing away and gesturing to his costume before he wipes the kiss from his cheek. He notices me standing just behind Bella and regards me with wary eyes. "Who's that?"
"Benji—er, Anakin, this is my friend Edward. I told him about your costume, and he was so impressed that I invited him to come trick-or-treating with us. Is that okay?"
"That's some get-up, Anakin," I tell him. "Cool light saber."
This kid is amazingly astute for a six-year-old. He has me pegged right from the start. "Bella, do you think Jake would approve of this?" Then he surprises the hell out of me by raising an eyebrow first at his sister and then at me. He's the spitting image of Bella when he does that.
"Uh…well, Jake isn't—"
The sound of a throat clearing comes from nearby, and we look up to see a woman who also favors Bella standing across the room. She shakes her head slightly and gestures into another adjoining room.
Bella flounders, so I swoop in with a diversion tactic. "So does that light saber really work?" I ask Benji, crouching down to his eye level.
"Yeah!" he says, pressing a button that makes it glow a brilliant blue. "It makes sound, too." He presses another button, and it hums just like in the movies.
"Wow," I say, actually kind of impressed. "Way cooler than the one I had when I was a kid." I make a show of looking around to make sure no one's listening. "I'm kind of jealous."
Benji laughs. I think I might be earning his stamp of approval. "You can hold it if you want. Just don't break it."
Bella's mom comes back into the living room then. I stand to offer her my hand. "Mrs. Swan, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Edward Cullen."
"Likewise, Edward. And please, call me Renee. I've heard a lot about you."
My ears perk up. I'm insanely curious to know what she's heard, and her next words tell me she knows Bella confides in me.
"Bella had to step outside. A little problem in the kitchen." She looks down at Benji, who's preoccupied with his light saber. "Jake showed up."
My whole body tenses. How can he just show up here after all he's done to her? Mrs. Swan puts her hand on my arm. I know my anger is obvious. I've always been an open book.
"They're out back talking. Would you like to have a seat?"
I nod and do my best to unclench my fists and jaw as we make our way over to the couch.
"Can I offer you anything to drink?" she asks.
"No, but thank you." I can only think about what Bella's suffering through outside.
"Hey, Benji—" Renee starts.
He huffs. "It's Anakin. How many times do I have to tell you people?"
"Hey. Watch it, young man. Anakin, did you let Edward in on the plan of attack for tonight?" She turns back to me. "He's been planning for days. I believe he's even drawn a map."
"I did!" Benji's face brightens. He runs out of the room, returning quickly with a map drawn in crayon, and begins to describe his plan in detail. "Dad helped me before he left for work. He said I needed to hoptimize my candy collection."
"Optimize. And I hope you don't think you're eating bunches of candy tonight," Renee says in a Mom Voice—the one that makes you feel three inches tall no matter how old you are.
"Aw, Mom! I promise it won't make me hyper."
A laugh comes from behind us, and I stand immediately to face Bella, who appears much calmer than I expect.
"Everything okay?" I ask.
She nods and smiles softly. "It's fine. Benji, are you ready?"
"Uh, I think he's been ready since he got up this morning. Right, Anakin?"
"Yes," he says, turning finely honed puppy dog eyes to Bella. "Please, can we go now?"
Before she can answer, Jake comes in behind her. I have to force my hands not to ball up into fists again. Fucker, I think before I can stop. There's no reason for me to be angry. He looks defeated with his head ducked and shoulders hunched over.
Jake hugs Renee and Benji and shoots me a glare that I choose to ignore. He has no reason to be angry with me, either. I look to Bella for answers, but she just shrugs. Once he's out the door and down the driveway, Renee starts in.
"Bella, what did you do to that poor boy?" she asks in shock.
Bella turns ten shades of red.
This is it, I think. The final straw. She's finally going to break. I grab Benji and bribe him out the door. "Come, young padawan. Let's get a head start on the candy-grabbing."
"Why is Jacob so sad?" Benji asks as we walk down the long driveway.
"Uh, I'm not sure," I tell him. It's the truth. That asshole has no right to be upset. "So, where do you want to start?"
We trek from house to house, and he talks my ear off and asks me surprising questions, like whether I like science like Bella does, and what kind of books I like to read. His bag is half-full by the time a police officer with a wicked mustache approaches us.
"Dad!" Benji shouts and runs to him.
"Hey, son," he says, reaching down to muss his hair. "How's the collection going? Saving all the good stuff for your old man?"
"Only the Whoppers. I hate those things. Dad, have you met my friend Edward?"
I have to hold back a snort. This kid is too much.
"No, I haven't met Edward." The only thing that rivals the Mom Voice is the Dad Stare, and that's the one Mr. Swan is giving me right now. I've only been privy to the Dad Stare once—the only time I was ever serious enough about a girl to meet her parents. But I've seen my dad use it on Alice's boyfriends countless times.
"Mr. Swan," I say, holding a hand out for him to shake. "I'm a friend of Bella's. Edward Cullen." I try hard not to roll my eyes at myself.
"That right?" he says. It's all he says.
I have no idea where to go from there. But Benji doesn't allow for awkward silences. "Dad, the Hales gave me my own special treat!" He produces the candy apple he got three houses ago. I thought the woman looked familiar, and now that I hear the name Hale, I know right away that she's Rose's mom.
"That's nice of them," says Mr. Swan. He pats Benji on the head. He doesn't seem like a man of many words. "So, Edward, you go to school with Bells?"
For a second, I'm not sure what he means when he says bells, but I grin when I realize it's a nickname for his daughter. "Yeah. I mean yes, sir. We don't have any classes together, but yeah, I go to C of C."
He nods once, and his mustache twitches.
"Are you gonna trick-or-treat with us now, Dad?" Benji asks as he unwraps a piece of chocolate.
"Sorry, Anakin. I've got to get back to work. But I expect a full report on your candy haul later. Save a couple of Gobstoppers for me?"
"Yes, Chief!" Benji says through a mouthful of chocolate.
Bella joins us soon after her dad leaves. "I thought you guys would be farther than this by now!" she exclaims as she jogs over and tousles Benji's hair.
"Shh! I'm using Jedi mind tricks to get more candy."
"Ah, I see. I suppose that eats up a lot of time."
As Benji speeds off up the next driveway, she starts to follow him, but I touch her elbow to pull her back. "Are you okay?"
She sighs heavily but keeps a slight smile on her face. "Yeah."
She still won't let me in. Even as we grow closer, she refuses to talk about things. I'm pretty sure she doesn't talk to Rosalie either since she's been spending the majority of her time with Emmett. "Let me guess. You don't want to talk about it." I grin to take the sting out of my words.
"You know me so well," she says with a bigger smile, obviously relieved when I don't press the issue.
We walk farther down the street, and Benji gets more and more hyper with every handful of candy. I wonder idly if he's sneaking pieces. When he takes off down another driveway to join a group of kids, I notice Bella looking all red again.
"Bella, are you sure you're all right? You look a little flushed."
I'm surprised when she responds with something other than her usual, I'm fine.
"I'm just so angry," she says quietly.
My heart hurts for her. I pull her into my side. "It's okay to be angry."
She takes a deep breath. "But I don't want to be. I don't want to be that resentful, cynical girl that got dumped."
I spin her around to face me, and I suddenly can't stop the words that seem to come tumbling out of their own volition. "You're not, Bella. You couldn't be further from that. I've said it before, but he didn't deserve you. Anyone lucky enough to have someone as wonderful and…just...beautiful as you are and not appreciate it is just…stupid."
She looks shocked and is silent for a minute. Finally, she whispers, "You think I'm beautiful?"
Beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, sexy as hell…and I think I love you. I want to say it all, but she's nowhere near ready for that. As much as I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm very surprised she doesn't know.
"Well, yeah," was all I could say in the end. She just stares at me with an unreadable expression on her face. Shit. She has no idea.
"Hey, it's that song I heard the first time I was in your car. Band of Horses?" Bella says when we're in my car, driving back to her place.
"Oh, yeah. I burned this CD for you. I stuck it in here so I'd remember to give it to you."
"You made it for me?" she asks.
"Yeah. I was listening to my iPod one day and this song came on, and I remembered you liking it…that day. I thought I'd put it on a CD for you."
She grins at me in this way that makes me want to burn a thousand more CDs for her, which is so stupid of me. "Thanks. No one's ever made me a mix tape before."
I laugh for the first time since my case of word vomit a couple of hours ago. "Classic. I wish I'd found an actual cassette tape."
We fall back into our usual banter, chatting and laughing until we reach her house.
"Did you want to come up and hang out for a while?" she asks as she opens the car door.
For the first time, I'm okay with leaving her. I just need to think. "Actually, I'm kind of tired. I think I'm gonna go home and hit the hay."
"Hit the hay? What are you, sixty?"
"Yes. I'm a very young-looking sixty. Run tomorrow?"
"Of course." She smiles softly before climbing out of the car and leaning back down to talk. "Is nine okay?"
"Nine's perfect." I know I'm being less than lustrous in my conversation skills tonight, but I lack the energy to keep up my façade.
"Okay," she says with a look of what seems like concern.
We say good night, and as I drive away, I try to figure out why I suddenly have such a heavy heart.