In Which Jade Regrets

"DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT, BECK OLIVER? I NEVER FUCKING LOVED YOU. YOU MEANT NOTHING. NOTHING. DO YOU HEAR ME NOW? YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME AND FUCK WHAT YOU THINK - YOU NEVER LOVED ME EITHER. THERE IS NO WE. THERE IS NO US. NOTHING."

"You don't mean that. I know you don't, god dammit. I meant something." Jade got up in her boyfriend's face.

"You don't know anything."

Beck's logical façade slipped. "Don't say that. I know everything there is to know about you! I know when you first got your scissors obsession, and I know that freckle on your lip is the damn cutest thing I have ever seen, and I know you. I do, I do, I do! I fucking mattered to you."

She exhaled sharply, out of control, in a flame that not even Beck could control. She bit her lip, veering off of anger and into fury. "You know the key word in that sentence, Beck? Mattered."

Beck's eyes widened and no longer could he breathe. Jade stepped away, her eyes burning, her lungs not taking in the air needed to survive. (Although Jade wasn't sure she wanted to.)

Jade showed up at Cat's, not crying, because she was Jade West, and damn it all, Jade West didn't cry. Cat opened the door, and Cat knew today was a day. "What happened, Jade? Are you guys fighting again?"

Jade's mouth opened, then shut, and all of a sudden, her heart pounded. "I told him he didn't matter, Cat." And then she shook her head clear. He didn't, he didn't, he didn't.

"Jade...," Cat's voice trails off and then Jade's holding her hand, so tightly it hurts, but Cat wouldn't say a word to her broken friend.

Jade stood, her body no longer shaking. "I should go."

Jade didn't cry. She wrote. She wrote scripts of which a lover leaves a lover, which they always do, and then she's grateful. It's been hours, and he hasn't called anything off. Maybe she could fix this... no, he was just waiting for his attack. Maybe he'd break up with her in front of all his friends, all the cheerleaders; just to rub it in. Oh, look at me Jade, I'm a star, I'm popular, people look at me in ways they'll never look at you with. Look, Jade, look at what you gave up. Don't you miss me? Jade, Jade, Jade...

And then she's gone, and she's at her car, and she's shaking and she's grabbing her keys. Beck, Beck, Beck.

"Beck!?"

Beck's head snapped up. Jade? "Yes?"

The door kicked open and Beck inhaled. "Jade. I'm so sorry about..."

"You meant... mean, a lot to me, and I - I think I love you, Beck Oliver. I'm so so so so sorry about what I said; you have to believe me. My pride is destroyed right now, and my heart is shattered, and damn it, we haven't even broke up, yet, so why am I freaking out..." Jade pulls at her hair and Beck's heart has stopped, but that's okay, because here she is and she's sorry and she loves him and suddenly it's all okay again.

"I love you so much."

(And then they were Beck and Jade. Because she was Jade and he was Beck and nothing but and was between them.)