A.N:This is a very special chapter for me since it's actually about the meaning of the entire story. The name of this short piece of work that I wrote is Telescope Eyes (an old version of a song by Eisley). The title of this chapter is 'Three Wishes' , a song by The Pierces - a extremely beautiful song that made the words of this chapter flow much, much easier and I strongly recommend you guys to listen to it and to its' beautiful lyrics. After you'll read this chapter I hope that you'll be able to see the feelings that I saw while writing it; a lovely DeiSaku relationship really needs it *childish giggles*.
May you enjoy reading this chapter the same way I did while writing it.
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"Show me what it's like to dream in black and white,
So I can leave this world tonight."
------------- Unknown Soldier, Braking Benjamin
Chapter 4: Three Wishes
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"You...want
Three wishes: "
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Oooo Colour oooO
A month has passed since Naruto and Sasuke left. At this peace I won't be able to stand on my own feet. My mind was a mess. My feelings were ripping me apart and the only way to make them go numb was to work myself out. But now, even my body was exhausted.
It was already night when I was walking down the street to my apartment. Before getting inside I looked one last time at the stars from above, sighing. It's ok… I'll just wait for tomorrow to look for the colour of your eyes in the bright blue sky.
.
"One to fly the heavens,"
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Oooo Unfair oooO
Riotous bangs at my door woke me up from the dreamless sleep I was having. Stunned I looked around not understanding what was happening. I was still in my regular clothes so I must have fallen asleep as soon as I hit the bed.
.
"One to swim like fishes,"
.
Still dizzy, I got up and went to open the door. There, my blurry vision registered a panting Ino. She was supposed to be on a mission.
"We... we're back! We got Naturo and Sasuke on our way back. I… they're not in a good condition but...nothing to worry…I...wait…let me regain my breath…I don't know why, but Sai told me to come and tell you as…as soon as possible… they … they had to fight against two...two Akatsuki….Sasuke almost killed one of them…Sa-…Sai and Shikamaru stopped him. They were both… brought to Konoha. Tsunade ordered immediate interrogatory under Ibiki."
My eyes widened in horror at her words and every trace of sleepiness disappeared on spot. I couldn't know for sure but my heart was beating like mad and before my mind could judge correctly I started to run barefoot down the stairs.
"Sakura! Wait! Where are you going? I said they're both fine, where are you…"
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"And then one you're savin'
For a rainy day –"
.
Once outside I concentrated chakra on my feet and jumped on the firs rooftop, the fastest way to the dungeons, the place where prisoners were kept.
During the run I hold my breath, not daring to think at all the images and possibilities that were plaguing my head. After what seemed to be an eternity I reached the prison and jumped down to its' entrance. Outside, Shikamaru was lighting one of his cigars.
"Sakura-sa-…"
I ran by him and went inside, stopping at the lobby. There, were most of the jounin and the coach was occupied by two injured Naruto and Sasuke, with Sai leaning on the wall nearby. As Naruto jumped on his feet, I stormed ahead trying to control myself from running. I went down the stairs to the last level where the interrogation rooms were located. In front of the door were positioned two ANBU. When they realized I wasn't going to stop they stepped ahead, blocking my way.
"Haruno-san, this area is strict- ". I couldn't take the misgiving anymore so when they took me by the shoulders I twisted their arms and threw them out of my way. The echo of my footsteps in the long and cold corridor felt ten thousands more powerful inside of my skull and I had to increase my peace to avoid my legs from trembling in mournful anticipation. Walking faster and faster, the corridor seemed to have no end. And then, in the darkness I saw the door, and my heartbeats were like hammers against cracking walls. Please, God, please let all of this not be real. Please let it be a mistake.
In a blink on an eye my whole world crumbled.
" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!"
It was all in an agonizing scream. The voice and its' pain…it sent me foreword, pushing the door and slamming it open.
I froze unable to take the image in front of me. There were two ANBU on each side of the door. The shark-like Akatsuki was chained to the wall in the back and in the middle of the room Ibiki and Asuma, standing tall, with a huddled figure at their feet, face in his chest, the mess of blond hair scattered over the floor. He wasn't wearing the Akatsuki robe and my lower lip started to treble uncontrollably as both of his arms had been ripped off, lying lifeless in a corner of the room. My mouth hanged open but only muffed and swallowed sounds would come out.
"No... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…." I started to tremble and shake my head in panic.
Asuma, still shocked by my sudden appearance, followed my eyes and his face darkened.
"We got him in this state."
"You shouldn't be – "
The two ANBU rushed at me and seizing my arms, started to drag me out.
The more they were pulling, the more my body was opposing resistance.
"Let go! Don't touch him! Let me go!!!" No matter of how much I was fighting to keep tears from falling, my eyes were becoming more and more watery.
"Sakura!!!"
From behind I heard Tsunade's horrified yell but all that I was thinking of was to struggle free from the grip of the two shinobi.
"I SAID LET GO BEFORE I BRAKE YOUR BONES!!!!"
With a blurry vision I looked at Asuma who nodded at my shishou. Soon the grip on my arms loosened and everyone stepped aside.
Only when I was free I realized that I had to amass power to keep myself from falling. The sensation of dizziness was again taking over me, and like a man who had forgot how to use his feet I started to walk towards Deidara who was shivering in spasms. The pain in his body must have been awful because he seemed broken away from what was happening around him, deaf to all the screams and movements.
I limped to him still not knowing how have I even managed to take all the steps. Right in front of him, I wanted to call his name, but I was afraid of what I might find in his eyes once he would rise his head. Mud and gore were staining his hair and clothes. Then his body stopped its' quivered and went in complete relaxation. My heart stopped and I thought that time froze as well.
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" -if your lover ever takes
Her love away."
.
Like an old clock that echoes hardly, my heart started to beat again when a soft, whispered chuckle left his throat.
"Have I ever told you how extremely adorable are your small toes? That's one of the things I liked about you, un."
I gasped and let out an abrupt sob. Aiding himself with the muscles of his torso and legs he forced to get on his knees. When his eyes met mines I was so drained of energy that I couldn't even express my shock. His blue eyes, so clear and expressive couldn't fake easiness anymore. And the small smile wasn't enough to hide his pain any longer. When a wet drop landed on his cheek, mixing with the dried blood, he looked at me with the curiosity of a small child.
"Are you crying, foolish woman?"
He was right. My tears were falling uncontrollably and I couldn't do anything more about it.
He looked down, trying to find a proper explanation for himself, and then raised his eyes back to mine, pouting sadly.
"They wouldn't let me go with the bang. Tell them, un! Tell them I need to make art. Tell them to let me do it, un!"
I couldn't believe him; at a time like this… I shivered shortly and had to turn my hands into fists in order to control my body.
"What did you do, you fool?
Why did you let yourself caught?"
He half clucked half coughed, a trace of blood oozing from his mouth to his chin.
"You have powerful friends, un." I swallowed air when a flash of sadness glittered in his eyes and for a moment he lost his forced smile.
"I couldn't compete with them in the end. I couldn't take their… *cough* … plac- " his words drowned in the blood.
"STOP IT!" My legs gave in and I fell on my knees, slamming my hands on the ground. "… stop already…"
Tsunade was confused but she couldn't watch her apprentice falling into pieces right in front of her. She averted her eyes but couldn't stop herself from taking in all the mess and the blood in the room. That man, or what was now vaguely resembling a man, enemy or not, wouldn't be able to make it till morning. She looked at the two ANBU that, even with their masks on, had their faces lowered. Asuma was still looking at the two people on the floor but his clinched jaw gave him away.
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"You say you want to know her
Like your lover and
Undo her damage,"
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"Come on, un… don't be like that." On his knees he crawled as close to me as he could, talking into my ear. "Didn't I tell you? Art doesn't last forever. … just like what we had…it was art,un…"
At his words my chest concussed as I was trying to suck in the explosion of sobs.
"I wouldn't have it any other way, un. So you have to let it go …as well…" the blood from his chin was now draining off on my neck and shoulder. " I want to make it art, un. So let go."
He knew, the idiot….he felt that his body was giving up.
The tears were falling one after another and my body wouldn't stop from shaking.
"Come on Sak-… un. Don't do this." I could still follow the amusement that would never leave his voice. "Seeing you all gloomy like an unhappy child it's too unfair. It makes me want to hug you, you silly. I have already lost both of my arms. How am I supposed to give you a hug without them?"
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"Soon, you'll find that if you
Try to save her, it renews her anger
You will never win, then..."
.
Damn you, I won't let you humor me and take everything upon you this time. Why did you always have to do this? Taking all the pain on yourself to make me fell less resentful? You think you're the only one that knows the other's fears? I know yours too, no matter how much you want to keep them from me. I won't let you slip in silence with them; not anymore.
Slowly I lifted my arms and took him in an embrace, searching his cheek with mine.
"That's alright, you fool. I'll hold you; I'll hold you for both of us."
Unconsciously I let chakra flow through my hands. My eyes snapped open. His vital organs were all shatters. He was suffering from multiple internal bleedings and he had lost irreplaceable quantity of blood. Every move of his muscles, every breath he took was causing him enormous pain, and yet… for me... he… I tightened my arms around his body in anguish and fought the tears. I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything but watch him forcing himself out to his death. With one hand I started to play with his hair.
"I promise you… I promise… I will hold both of us…."
I felt him hold his breath then relax on my body. What expression was he wearing right then? What would his eyes say if I were to look into them? My hand was shaking between the locks of his blond hair and I bit forcefully on my lip to stop myself from crying. My sanity went down crumbling when he started to shiver and hiccup in my shoulder. He pressed his forehead forcefully on it and his teeth clatterer repeatedly between distorted vowels. At first in sobs, he was now crying with all the power that he still had. I never stopped from tangling his hair around my fingers as I felt the taste of blood in my mouth.
"I'm scared kunoichi … it scares me…dying now… I never thought it could happen to me… but now… now I don't want to die anymore… not now… I want to stay, you hear me??? I want to stay!!! It scares the shit out of me! I don't want to go. I DON"T WANT TO DIIEEE!!!" I was trembling beyond control and tears were gliding down my cheeks, but I continued to gently stoke his hair to cease the pain away.
"I know… I know…shhh…"
His screams stopped but his body was still shaking.
"Shhhh…."
"It's unfair…un" his whispers were tearing my heart apart. It was unfair from the start. Our meeting was unfair, our feelings were unfair, our touches were unfair… Everything had been unfair to us. Was there a moment where we could have turned the tables and make it right? When did we miss it? Where did we go wrong?
It will all end soon. I won't let you suffer any longer… it's…unfair.
I pressed his body on mine and covered him as much as I could. I felt the chakra leaving my skin. It will all end soon…
I hold him as tightly as I could. When his breath steadied I knew it had begun. His nerves were starting to get numb.
"It feels so funny… my body doesn't hurt that much anymore. He he.. I can't even feel it for sure…"
"Shhh…"
He moved his head and brushed his lips against my ear.
"Neee… don't take all the pain on yourself if you won't be able to live with it… don't be greedy."
I nodded but refused to open my eyes. He kissed my cheek lightly and rested his temple on my shoulder, hiding his face in my neck.
"Tell me something funny…"
…
…
"Each time you are not hiding your feelings from me you forget to use your 'un's"
…
He clucked "…un."
and closed his eyes.
"Deidara …I-"
"…aishiteru"
The signals from his heart died.
I should have opened my eyes but darkness was everything that I could still stand. I gripped even more forcefully the body from my arms and buried my face in his hair. I abandoned myself to despair and started to dangle backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, backwards…
Asuma had enough. He looked at the devastated woman in the doorway and at the akatsuki still caught with chains. He wasn't going to cause any problem for the time being. He made a sign to the two ANBU to leave the room and the same for Ibiki who was reticent at first.
"Everyone out." The Gondaime gave a last order and was the first to turn on her heels. Asuma stepped out, closing the door after him with a click.
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-----
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His skin felt so warm on my neck. It was like one of those days when he would nuzzle his face away from the sun like a spoiled child after he had been awakened from a nap. He was just resting... he would soon wake up and smile his way out of my annoyance. He was…
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The heart-rending scream echoed through the humid corridors of the prison.
------
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"We'd be so less fragile if we're
Made from metal and our
Hearts from iron and our
Minds from steel and if we "
.
Outside Naruto was about to punch Sai for stopping him all this time from following Sakura when Tsunade appeared. He wanted to jump at her to ask where his friend was when almost everyone noticed the look she was trying to hide under her hair. Kakashi put an arm on his shoulder hoping that the woman would stop to tell them what was going on. But she never did. Soon after, Asuma came. He faintly nodded at them and got his pack of cigars from his pocket. He leaned against the wall of the building but as he brought up one of them, his hand was slightly shaking.
Kurenai approached him, taking the lighter from his hand and helping him out.
Everyone waited in silence for the man to find his words. He brought a hand up and covered his eyes, trying to knead his temples. No one was expecting to actually see a tear running down his face.
"Something like that… no one should see it." he laughed sadly. "I don't remember when was the last time I felt so void inside. It's … heartbreaking."
Kurenai had no idea of what he was talking about but there's one thing that she felt right to do. She brought one comforting hand on his shoulder. "Asuma…."
"What is war anyway? Hnh! That's exactly what she asked us… People always pity the dead ones…but the really pitiful ones are the ones left behind, alive."
" 'I don't want to die' … because I don't want to leave the people who care about me… wasn't it so? Isn't it the same for all of us?"
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"Built an armor for our
Tender bodies, could we
Love each other, would we
Strive to feel? And..."
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Between his fingers the cigar was burning away, long forgotten, the smoke fading in thin air.
---------------------End ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sincerely yours,
Lexa.