4
"Finally! Something that doesn't seem completely pointless!" Iggy exclaimed bitterly, running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah, something I might actually be good at," Max muttered. She was tugging at her tie and collar, probably feeling like she was on a leash.
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Fang said softly. "Sounds like fun."
Tally rolled her eyes and pushed down the urge to snort.
You have got to remember that this Umbridge woman is the one we're supposed to keep an eye out for, she thought, as Iggy reached for her hand.
He "looked" at her significantly when something occurred to him. It took her a moment, but she remembered what he was referring to.
The dark haired girl steeled herself (from laughing hysterically) and answered him, They can find out all on their own. Max is going to certainly have a cow, maybe some puppies too.
His mouth curled into a smirk as they sat clumped up again, Fang and Max in front while Harry and Ron were in front of them.
Hmm…Defense Against the Dark Arts? This is the class where we get to show off right? Do some flying summersaults, flips, show these sissies that we can punch properly and that we can kick their butts any day of the week…
"Heh," Iggy bobbed his head as a small smile crawled across her face.
Tally's gray eyes glided back across the classroom, doing a three-sixty scan compulsively.
And her eyes landed on the pink woman sitting at the front of the classroom.
If Angel suddenly decides to wear a shade of pink that obnoxious…I swear… Tally thought, her nose wrinkling up.
Iggy made a confused sound in the back of his throat and she rolled her eyes, brushing her hand against his and giving him a vivid, raptor vision version of the eyesore that was their Defense Professor.
"This is our Defense professor?" he muttered as Professor Umbridge flicked her wand at the chalk board behind her, filling his cheeks with air and blowing it out. "I think a normal person could take her down. Just aim for the triple blubber chins."
Tally choked down a laugh as the "Professor," or rather Ministry appointed person, began to address them. Eyes pointedly gluing to the winged people in her class plus the one and only Harry Potter. Though that little spark of anger that passed through her eyes did not go unnoticed by Max, Fang and Talon…
"Well, good afternoon!" she said with enough fake enthusiasm to disgust a bunch of the people in the class.
A couple people mumbled in reply while the rest were obviously drained from the previous classes and didn't want to deal with the ugly pink growth.
"Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"
What were they two? And how many times was the woman going to stuff the word "please" down their throats?
Tally's nose wrinkled again, she sounded like one of those sickly sweet whitecoats that always always in the end would stab you in the back and empty some sort of syringe in your bloodstream, preaching it to be 'for your own good' while she and the rest of the experiments writhed in pain.
"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," the rest of the class chanted back at her.
Tally huffed and propped her chin up with her right hand, leaving her left out for any writing they might need to do.
"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly (Ugh, gag me please. This woman is sickening.). "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."
Yes, that was excruciatingly hard, Tally thought. Now stop treating us like we're five instead of fifteen, idiot.
Iggy covered his guffaw with a cough.
"Well, now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" So she decided that they weren't five year olds? Excellent observational skills on her part. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not even seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L year.
"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following please."
She tapped the chalk board with her wand and Tally read it to Iggy in her mind while multi-tasking and writing it down.
Course aims:
1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.
3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.
Tally's brows furrowed when she placed the last period. Not only did it sound like a bunch of fancy schmancy gobble of words that she didn't understand, but it sounded completely weird.
Like the words "defensive" and "legally" and "used" all in the same sentence equated to pure smelly garbage.
"Bologna," Tally heard Max whisper to Fang with her raptor hearing.
When everyone was down copying down the course aims, Umbridge said, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
A noncommittal murmur of confirmation from the class.
"I think we'll try that again," said the target. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to rely 'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room like some parody of a funeral chorus.
Tally rolled her eyes.
"Good," said the pink growth. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."
I gritted my teeth, completely annoyed with this woman.
Was this lady for real?
I chanced a glance at Tally and Iggy, how one was immensely annoyed with what she was reading and the other was ready to fall asleep from the completely boring stuff that was being "read to him."
After a while of frowning at the text, I looked up to see Hermione with her hand in the air. Silently trying to get the Umbridge woman's attention.
And, really, I wasn't the only one. A majority of the class had turn to look at her, and when the lady who called herself professor turned to her and acknowledged her after a half hour, the whole class turned to look.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione, pretending she just noticed her.
"Not about the chapter, no," she said slowly.
"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge. I swear, this woman could be a toad hybrid or maybe something equally small and annoying. (Hey maybe she was Total's third cousin or something!) "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."
"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione.
The lady raised her eyebrows, almost as if she couldn't believe that a lowly student was questioning her.
"And your name is—?"
"Hermione Granger," she said.
"Well, Miss Granger, I think my course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," she said, all saccharine and trying to make me throw up.
"Well, I don't," Hermione said bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."
Bingo! Yes Hermione! Why the heck are we in a Defense Class if we can't practice? That's so stupid!
"Dumbledore must've meant this…" Fang murmured out of the corner of him mouth, too low for anyone else but us bird kids to hear.
"Using defensive spells?" Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
"We're not going to use magic?" Ron asked loudly.
I was about to open my mouth when Fang shot me a look, his 'Wait, and watch' look.
I nodded, I suppose we could sit back, everyone else was doing our jobs. Assess the situation.
For now.
"Students will raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr.—?"
"Weasley," Ron said, thrusting his hand into the air.
Umbridge was still smiling like the Cheshire cat turned her back on him, and then Harry and Hermione raised their hands too.
She examined Harry for a moment before addressing Hermione, "Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"
"Yes, surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" asked Umbridge.
"No, but—"
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised out new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way—" (That whole sentence right there caused a bunch of eye rolling and snickering and completely looks of disbelief from us.)
"What use is that?" Harry asked, bordering on shouting. "If we're going to be attacked it won't be in a—"
"Hand, Mr. Potter!" Umbridge said in a sing-songy voice.
She turned to a dark skinned boy in Gryffindor. "And your name is?"
"Dean Thomas."
"Well, Mr. Thomas?"
"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk-free—"
I opened my mouth to agree but Fang's warning glance and hand on my arm stopped me.
"I repeat," she said, still smiling that stupid little grin that I so dearly wanted to smash off her face. "do you expect to be attacked in during my classes?"
Yes, I thought. Probably just you. You have a mutiny on your hands, lady.
"No, but—"
Umbridge spoke over him.
"I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school," ugh, the smile widened even more. How was that possible? "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed—not to mention," here, her eyes landed on us bird kids, giving a nasty little laugh. "extremely dangerous half-breeds."
Fang's hand tightened on mine, but from looking at him I knew he wasn't restraining me anymore. If I squinted my eyes, I could just about see the angering simmering beneath his skin.
"No, you can't freeze her," Iggy muttered under his breath to Tally, a harsh clipped tenor to it. "Or blow her up for calling us half-breeds. We can prank her later."
I smirked at that. You could always count on the Pyro Trio to wreak havoc.
"If you mean Professor Lupin," Dean yelled angrily, "he was the best we ever—"
"Hand, Mr. Thomas! As I was saying—you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group, and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day—"
"No, we haven't," Hermione said. "we just—"
"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"
"Complete and total bullshit," Iggy murmured. "Harry told us so."
Umbridge turned to another girl in Gryffindor.
"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the countercurses and things?"
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," she said dismissively.
"Without ever practicing them before?" Parvati said, obviously completely outraged like the majority of the class.
"Big mutiny," I whispered to Fang who was still tensed up.
"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough—"
"And what good's theory going to be in the real world?" Harry ground out, his fist in the air.
"I agree," I called out mockingly, hand lazily in the air.
Umbridge looked at us both.
"This is school, Mr. Potter, Miss Ride, not the real world," she said softly; the infamous calm before the storm.
"So these kids are going out there into a war without being prepared?" I asked, leaning forward in my seat almost at the same time as Harry said, "So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting out there?"
Umbridge gave a twitch, "There is nothing out there, Miss Ride, Mr. Potter."
Behind me and to my side, Tally and Fang gave soft 'huh,' probably rolling their eyes.
"Oh, yeah?" said Harry. His temper, something that we both had in common, seemed to be showing.
"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?"
All right, I'll tell you straight up, all of us mutants gave sarcastic laughs at this, Umbridge's beady little eyes flickering to us for a second before turning back on Harry.
"Hmm, let's think…" Harry said in a mock thoughtful voice, tapping his chin and everything. "Maybe Lord Voldemort?"
And that one little title caused the whole room to gasp and twitch and react violently just like any of us Flock members would if you flashed a needle in our faces.
"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter."
"Now let me make this quite plain." I rolled my eyes as Umbridge stood up. "You have been told that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead—"
"He wasn't dead," Harry said, pissed and turning this weird shade of puce. "But yeah, he's returned!"
"Mr. Potter you have already lost your house ten points do not make matters worse for yourself," she told him all in one breath. "AS I was saying, you have been informed that a certain Dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."
"It is NOT a lie!" Harry bellowed. "I saw him, I fought him!"
"Detention, Mr. Potter!" Umbridge said triumphantly. "Tomorrow evening. Five o'clock. My office. I repeat, this is a lie. The Ministry of Magic guarantees that you are not in danger from any Dark wizard. If you are still worried, be all means come and see me outside class hours. If someone is alarming you with fibs about reborn Dark wizards, I would like to hear about it. I am here to help. I am your friend."—Iggy snorted here—"And now, you will kindly continue reading. Page five, 'Basics for Beginners.'"
Umbridge sat down, but Harry stood up. And I was about to follow in his foot steps if it weren't for Fang being ever the calm(-ish) one.
"So according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?" Harry asked, any hope for redeeming his composure completely shot to hell.
Everyone went silently, at least until Umbridge answered him.
"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," she said coldly.
Let's get this straight. I, under no circumstances, will obey authority. And I don't have good views on governments either since they obviously aren't smart enough to see what a company is doing and find out that illegal human recombinant life forms are being created from kids. None of the flock likes authority either, the only people they've ever listened to is my mom, Jeb, Fang and I.
And you all probably know my views on death and life and about how cruel it could be. Not to mention the fact that not everything was strictly black and white.
I stood up, "Umb—Professor Umbridge, there is no such thing as death being a 'tragic accident.'" I snarled, and once again, Harry said, "It was murder. Voldemort killed him and you know it," just as I spoke.
Her eyes flickered to me, seemingly ignoring Harry. "And you would know this how, Miss Ride? You are just a child yourself—"
"We're not children!" I shrieked; my shallow pool of patience apparently gone if the feathers standing on edge on my wings were any indication. "We've fought more things and seen things you couldn't even imagine!"
"Max! No!" Fang hissed, trying to pull me back to my seat.
Clearly, he was the only calm one. Despite their best efforts, Tally and Iggy were climbing out of there seats as well, one rummaging in his pockets and the other looking at Umbridge dangerously, her hands twitching.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Ride and your two friends, come here, please, dears."
My eyes flashed dangerously and I snatched my arm out of Fang's grip.
Tally, Iggy, Harry and I walked up to her, seeing her pull out a roll of pink parchment. She wrote something on the parchment than tapped it with her wand and it sealed itself.
"Take this to your Head of House."
We all took our respective envelopes and marched out of the room, almost stomping.
Tally silently fumed as she stabbed her cake, completely incensed. Not even the prank she and Iggy had planted had been able to bring her back around (Let's just say that the dungeons would have a horrible stench for the next few weeks, thanks to Ron mentioning where Draco Malfoy and his other House Mates slept).
Max glared at them for the prank, but it didn't have its usual fierceness, she almost seemed a bit amused by it.
Stupid toad, giving us detention. What happened to "treat us like teachers"? Did it go out the window? And did you see how she kept repeating please and that junk as if we actually cared about her manners. And her voice, did she get high off of sugar or something? That would be fitting, stupid person with sickly sweet voice that makes her sound like a whitecoat on an annoying sugar high taunting us and making fun of us and calling us half breeds when it clearly wasn't our fault we were created this way.
Iggy seethed silently, ice blue eyes glaring angrily at his plate. He nodded.
"What'd the toad do after we left?" Max asked tensely. The younger kids looked on in confusion, all except for Angel, the ever innocent-seeming-but-actually-quite-diabolical-when-you-got-down-to-it-mindreader.
Fang shrugged. "Sent us to read. Kept an eye on us. Ignored some people." He picked up a fried chicken drumstick.
Max rolled her eyes, "Stupid, prejudiced priss."
"What'd you guys do?" Nudge asked, gnawing on some sort of foreign food.
"Talked back," Fang answered when none of the perpetrators spoke up and simply stabbed at their food and sent dagger glances at the head table. "And nearly attacked Umbridge."
Yeah, nearly attacked Umbridge. I still want to freeze her and watch her be terrified, Tally thought darkly, her face completely void of any of the emotion she was feeling besides the way her lips were pulled into a severe line. While you put a bomb down her ugly pink cardigan, Iggy.
He nodded, a small mischievous smirk painting his lips.
And then they only needed to see what kind of torture Umbridge would put them through for 'detention.' A eight days worth from what McGonagall had told them.
Edited September 27th 2009