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Chapter Four – To Remember You pt.2

"Leon came to apologize to me later that day" –by now they were lying on the big satin cushions on the ground inebriated by the wine and the memories.

"Oh yes… You and Leon… He was very upset after you-"

"Merlin… I'm in a good mood, don't spoil it." – She interrupted him taking another swig, this time directly from the bottle.

"How did it begin? It was so sudden…" –they were lying side by side on their backs facing the fabric of the tent, the alcohol was very relaxing, their defenses were down.

"When you and Arthur went to find… Your father; the dragon kept terrorizing the citadel. –Mab stopped and took a deep sigh. Merlin raised his eyes, she was smiling and her eyes were far away. There she is… He thought. –"One night I was helping to evacuate the people and I saw the knights trying to fight it… One minute they were there and in the next there were fire everywhere. The knights scattered, but Leon was unconscious on the ground… I ran toward him, the dragon was coming back for the next strike. You know that my magic that time was almost purely elemental; so I grabbed his shield, covered us up and changed the direction of the fire when it came."

"That was very brave…" – he said taking the bottle of her hands and drinking from it. –"I remember when you fought with him… Everyone was very amused."

Flashback

"Come on, Leon! Get up!" –said Arthur to his knight that was lying on the ground again. –"You can do better than this"

"Yes, sire. I don't know what's happening today. "–answered Sir Leon standing up and facing a very pleased Arthur Pendragon

"It's alright… Call me another, if you may."

Leon lifted two fingers in the air and walked toward his fellow knights aside while the prince got ready for his next opponent, he was received with little brotherly punches and mockery words. There was always a small crowd around during the knights' practice; a few commoners liked to watch and dream about a knighthood that would never come to them; while the servants just waited anxious for their masters to end all that as fast as it's possible so they could get out of the sun.

Merlin and Mab were watching as usual and now that the first left to help Arthur with the arrangements, the girl hesitate for a moment analyzing the situation; would it be very rude? She jumped the fence that surrounded the training field and approached the resting knights poking Leon gently on his arm. He turned to face her and his surprise switched into a large smile.

"Is your feet, you know."

"Excuse me?" –he laughed, but the other knights seemed interested.

"Your feet. Apparently Prince Arthur has a new trick; he's changing his feet, turning to the opposite side. This way he has more range in his attack"

The men were stunned, their faces went from his to hers. Some of them wanted to make a joke, but she had spoken with so much property that they were actually wondering if she was right.

"Er… Alright… I'll pay attention to this next time." –he was confused; how could she know this? How could she notice that when he didn't?

"Here, let me show you" –Mab grabbed a sword that was lying on the ground, all the knights stepped back .

"I'm not going to fight you." –said Leon laughing reaching his arm to take the sword from her; but now it was her turn to step back.

"Why not?"

"I'm not going to fight with a servant girl!" –he tried to take the sword again, but she didn't let him. A small wrinkle formed between his eyebrows, why she was doing this? He shook his head with impatience. –"Come on, knights… We have things to do." –he turned his back on her walking away, the knights sigh with disappointment.

"Hey, Sir Leon…"

He stopped and turned to face her once more; everything happened so fast that his response was absolutely instinctive. One second she was there smiling at him and in the next they were crossing swords; the metal vibrating on their hands while they exchange looks, he was silently asking her to stop, but she was determined to move on; the other knights were very amused, they started to cheer for them and make bets. Leon pushed her creating some distance between them; he was taller, stronger, more skillful and had much more experience than she had… Or at least he thought he did.

The knight opened his arm in surrender, but she was not satisfied; Mab came to him with brute attacks hitting his defense one, two… Three times. He didn't dare to attack back, it was against his knighthood vows and yet, he was wearing a chain mail, but she had nothing more than a frail dress. She knew he was not taking her seriously; so she decided to stop playing around and fight for real; she stepped as closer to him as she could and begin her dance.

Mab moved around him with speed and grace trying to penetrate each of his defenses, trying to reach any part of his body; he was taller, yes, stronger; no doubt, but she was faster. Now that Leon had seen the challenge, he began to move accordingly trying to keep her blade away from him without hurt her; but in one of her swings, that would hit him right in the ribs, she left her guard wide open and his knight within saw its opportunity. He waved the sword, she saw his movement and jumped backwards leaving nothing for him to cut except the hem of her dress.

Leon looked at her, his eyes wide open in a silent apology; Mab looked at the dress and then up at him, an insolent grin formed in her lips. She went toward him again raising the sword, Leon was prepared to block, but when he got ready to go zig, she went zag and he could see her feet changing the direction of the blow just like she said… But now was too late, Mab was behind him, his guard fully open to her mercy; he felt the tip of the blade in his neck, it was over.

"Ha! That was brilliant!" –Arthur approached them clapping and smiling, Mab lowered the sword and smiled shyly to those in present, the knights were clapping and whistling with big smiles on their faces; she was not aware that there were so many people looking at them. – "Where did you learn to fight like this? So fast!"

"I'm a girl and an only child, my lord… My father thought that would be good for me to learn how to defend myself. "

"And he thought and taught you well." –he seemed very pleased, that was something she was not expecting; Merlin was on his side smiling broadly at her. –"That was really good."

"Thank you, you highness." –she blushed with all the compliments.

"Well… After this I don't think there is anything else to be seen here; you're all dismissed."

The crowd began to scatter, one of the knights took the sword from Mabs' hands complimenting her for the fight; she was very pleased with herself and very excited, it's been a while since she had the opportunity to fight with someone, the adrenaline was making her heart rush. Arthur passed by her side smiling and giving her a small nod, Merlin was right behind him and leaned to kiss her cheek whispering that he was very proud of her. She delicately dried the sweat from her forehead and looked to the hem of her dress once more, it could be fixed; she was preparing to leave when she felt someone holding her hand and pulling her to the opposite direction.

"Would you like to walk with me?" –said sir Leon letting go of her hand as fast as he had reached for it. –"The weather is very pleasant."

"I'm sorry, my lord-"

"Please, call me by my name."

"…. Sir, I apologize, but I have to go to the market to buy food for tonight's dinner."

"Would you like some company?" –his eyes were so deep and his voice so hopeful that she could not dismiss him… Not even if she wanted to.

"Yes, I would appreciate this" –She was not the blushing type, but right now she couldn't help herself.

The market was full of people, animals and other weird creatures that they couldn't name exactly. They were walking for a while almost reaching the end of the trade; Mab was well know by everyone, she shopped the castle provisions for a year now. They were having fun, enjoying some time to know each other.

"I'm sorry for what happened in the training field today. Coming to think, it was not very polite." –again she felt her face burn.

"It's alright… I was really surprised though." –he smiled and allowed himself to touch one of the ribbons of her dress while she talked to a marketer. –" I'm sorry for your dress, I'll buy you another."

"No!" –she suddenly was very exasperated. –"I can fix it… You really don't have to, my lord."

"Leon; please…" –he said as if it was a prayer. –"You cook, you help Gaius healing people and you're very skillful with a sword… Is there anything you can't do?" –they both laughed and she faked a very contemplative face.

"Swim!" –she said with triumph making him laugh, a warming strong laugh that gave her chills of anxiety. –"Really! I'm a terrible swimmer."

"That doesn't decrease my amusement … You're a very impressive servant girl."

"What do you mean?" –she suddenly stopped frowning at him. –"Servants are as skillful as knights, my lord."

"No! Please… That's not what I meant" –it was his turn to become exasperate. –"I'm sorry, I didn't want to offend you; and would you please call me by my name?"

"You ask me to address you by your name, but you only address me as 'servant girl'…" –her tone was low and hurt, she lowered her head. –"It's that all that you think I am?"

"Of course not!" –he raises her head with his index finger, his eyes narrowed and shining with concern. –"You're brave and kindhearted… Wise, but so carefree…" –he swallowed with some difficulty while trying to find the right words. –"And the most intriguing and beautiful woman I've ever met."

Mab bit her lower lip trying to hide her satisfaction smile; he was not touching her, but his big blue eyes were stronger than any hand and any arm. They were very close to each other and he could smell her, a very inebriate smell of lavender, spice and just a little bit of burning wood; he didn't knew why but that rustic odor was more tempting to him that any elaborate perfume of the ladies of the court. They were hooked in each other's gaze, their mouth getting drier and their minds wondering trough some mysterious and forbidden places.

"Hello, dear!" –suddenly a window opened right beside them and an old woman with a cloth in her head appeared.

"Hello Mrs. Austin!" – Mab stepped away from Leon felling suddenly breathless.

"And hello to you, sir." –said Mrs. Austin given both of them a suspicious smile; Leon answered with a polite nod. – "Oh honey, I have good news and bad news."

"Good news first, Mrs. Austin"

"I have the biggest piece of lamb you've ever seen!"

"But that's great!"

"Unfortunately, the boys didn't come to work today, heavens know why!" –Mrs. Austin was very upset; Mab knew that her sons would be in trouble later. –"And I'm an old woman, I have no strength to deliver this much meat all the way to the castle."

"Ah… It's ok, Mrs. Austin, I'll cook something else."

"Wait, I can carry the meat." –Leon joined the conversation, his chain main shinning in a very cliché way.

"What? No! It's too heavy." –replied the servant girl pointing to the beautiful exposed piece of meat.

"I can carry." –he was determined.

"I wish I had a handsome strong knight to carry things for me…" –said Mrs. Austin giving Mab a quick wink making the girl blush once again.

"At least let's split the weight."

"No way."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Just leave it there" –said Mab indicating a long table in the kitchen, Leon dropped the meat with no ceremonies and sat on the bench trying not to look so exhausted. –"I told you it was too heavy!"

"It's fine… I'm grea-argh!" –he tried to stand up, but his legs gave in; he was panting and sweaty.

"You're going to be sore tomorrow… Take off the chain mail, it will help you breathe."

She sat and helped him to take off the heavy hauberk, he grunt and arched his back his body happy to be released. Mab placed her hands on his shoulders over his crimson shirt making him gasp and look back at her; she gave him an encouraging smile and begin to gently squeeze the muscles of his shoulders and neck; Leon closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of relaxation that started to run through his body. She noticed that and quickly placed her hands on his scapula.

"Forbærning et onlæte" –she whispered and her eyes glowed in yellow while she felt the energy emanating from her body to her hands and to his body; she could almost feel his muscles constricting and then relaxing again.

"Did you say something?" –Leon turned to look at her again, but she shook her head smiling innocently. –"Wait a second…" –he moved his shoulders and stretched his arms testing its elasticity; Mab bit her lips barely breathing. –"The pain is gone! What did you do?"

"Nothing much, really. Just touched the right spot, Gaius taught me a lot about anatomy; it's very easy actually."- she bragged feeling very proud of herself.

He smiled at her with sincerity, there it was again… A silent message burning in his eyes, Mab couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it was making her feel warm and anxious creating a vacuum in her stomach. Leon hid one lock of her hair behind her ear caressing her cheek with his thumb and her neck with his fingertips; she shivered and he stopped feeling tense, maybe he was crossing a line. He begin to remove his fingers from her face, but Mab was quicker and grabbed his hand placing a very soft, tender kiss in his rough calloused palm; Leon gasped and she smiled calmly at him although her blood was racing fast and wild; so little contact, but the anticipation was overwhelming.

Leon leaned to her standing close enough to scent her smell again, his eyes caught hers and now she was trapped again. They didn't knew for sure each one of them had completed the sequence, but soon enough their mouths were connected in a long chaste kiss. Mab parted from him but kept her eyes closed enjoying the mind blowing sensation of happiness as well as his taste in her mouth. She heard a croak and opened her eyes; Leon was gone but his clothes were there, she looked around, but saw no one; the croak was heard again it was coming from Leon's pile of clothes. Carefully she removed the fabric and there it was looking at her… A big slimy toad.

She widen eyes putting her hand on her mouth in panic, WHAT HAD HAPPENED? A small ball of yellow light flew around her head laughing a high-pitched mocking laugh.

"Kissy, kissy aren't we? Kiss the prince, find the frog! Will you kiss the frog for a prince to be?"

-x-x-x-x-x-x

"DAMN GOBLIN!" –She screamed punching one of the cushions and laughing at herself, now they were as drunk as a very particular knight. –he was quite funny though… The farts! –them both started to laugh high.

"DONKEY ARTHUR!" –they screamed in unison laughing hard of both the occurred and the memory.

"I would have given all my money to see that… Just a little glimpse and I would be satisfied."

"I would give my money to see Grunhilda kissing Gaius." –Merlin added laughing and covering his eyes.

"Oh yes, Elena…" -Mab smiled with nostalgia.

"You were very fond of her, weren't you?"

"I can't help … It's the fairy blood. She was a good girl." –she laughed and rolled over the cushions lying on his chest, it was stronger than she remembered.

"We've met some strange people along the years…" –he said caressing her hair.

"Uther's troll."

"Nimueh."

"Morgause."

"Cedric."

"…Gwaine." –They laughed together, a very carefree friendly laugh.

"Alice…"

"When you kissed me."

"If I recall, you kissed me back." –He said tickling her ribs.

"I was mad at Leon… It felt right somehow." –she frowned.

"Gaius kept telling me 'you are equal, you understand each other… Alice and I were like this and like that.' "–said Merlin impersonating their old master. –"It just made me wonder."

"I know what you mean…" –she sighed, this was so familiar and yet really awkward. –"It was a strange kiss, though."

"Very strange indeed." –they laughed again.

"And I know you were thinking about her the entire time." –she laughed, but Merlin's smile suddenly vanished while a lump formed in his throat and his whole body become tense. –"Do you still love her? After all this time? After everything? –She sounded like a little child asking innocently why the sky was blue… He sighed and relaxed again.

"Yes… Sadly, yes." –Merlin raised his torso sitting up holding his legs, Mab sit too crossing her legs and looking at him with interest. –You used to critized me about my choices and how I never thought about the consequences, but you have no idea how hard it was… -he turned his face away when his voice cracked. –To poison her, to see her life evade from her… In my arms, it was-"

"Wait, poison?" –confusion crossed her face, she kneeled in front of him, her face filled with suspicion and doubt. –"What are you talking about? Who are you talking about?"

"Who are YOU talking about?" –he asked feeling more confused than her.

"Freya!" –she answered almost hysterically.

The tent fell in a deep silence while both of them tried to put all the pieces together, her mouth and her eyes were wide open when realization knocked her over. Merlin didn't dare to look her in the eyes and now he was fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Almighty Thor…Merlin… Morgana? You are in love with Morgana? HOW!

"I know how ironical this sounds…" –His voice was bitter and his eyes were full of remorse; his heart constrict in a way he didn't thought it was possible.

"She knew?"

"Yes… When she found out about her powers… All that 'druid kidnap". –He shook his hands with impatience. –Later that day I went to her chambers to check if she was ok… I don't know what happened, she was vulnerable; I was overwhelmed…"-he couldn't help stutter with anxiety and agony; he was nauseated and it was not sure if it was because of the drinking or the sudden claustrophobia he was feeling in his chest. Flashes of her eys, her laugh, her voice and her touch were flying around his head uncontrolled; it was suffocating. –"We've got together a few times after that, but…"

"And you never told her about your magic?" –Mab was genuinely surprised and now the fear of the unknown was crawling in her stomach like a snake. Merlin rueful, his eyes were absolutely miserable when he shook his head in answer to her question. – "By Odin Allfather… Poor girl. Did you ever wonder how would've been if we have told her from the beginning?"

"Of course I have." –he stood up tousling his hair with his fingers in a clear sign of frustration. –"But at this point I don't allow myself to think that it would have been any different."

"It wouldn't be any different?" –Mab echoed his lines getting up in her feet too. – "Merlin, she was betrayed her whole life by the people she loved and trusted the most! Uther, Arthur, you… Even me and Gaius!" –she was walking around while he massaged the sides of his head with his eyes closed. –"I never quite understood how she turned into something so different from what she was, but now… She probably had feelings for you and you poisoned her!"

"DON'T JUDGE ME!" –he exploded with the finger pointed to her. –"Don't you dear judge me; you were unconscious that day you have NO IDEA how it was." –his voice was harsh and his face harden, but yet he turned around to wipe the few tears that insisted to come down.

"I told her…"

"You what?"

"The night before the battle…" –she seemed a little embarrassed for that revelation. –"I went to her chambers and told her about my powers." –Merlin looked at her in a deep disbelief. –"I offer her… Help and asylum if she ever needed.

"That was before or after our conversation?"

"After… Actually our conversation made me realize what I had to do." –They stood in silence for a few moments, Merlin was walking around while Mab was sit in a three legged bench each trying to digest all the new information they took five years to know and understand. –"If we have told her before… Maybe she wouldn't have felt so lost and alone; maybe she would have trusted us and not Morgause… Everything could have been different…"

"It still can." –Merlin walked toward her and kneeled grabbing her hands. –"Come back to Camelot with me, talk to Arthur, solve this misunderstanding!"

"There is. No. Misunderstanding." –she replied pausing dramatically between the words. –"He looked in my eyes and let me fall." –Mab stood up again, the fires of treason burning inside her once again. –"Because he wanted my kingdom? Because he found out I have magic; I don't know. But the only satisfaction Arthur Pendragon can give me is his blood in my blade and his cold stiff body in the end of my sword." –Her voice was macabre and Merlin felt a really dark aura emanating from her. –"My kingdom perished, my family and friends are gone, I can't go back to Avalon… I lost my life." –now there was such a passionate hurt tone in her voice that Merlin couldn't help the tears and the overwhelming feeling of pity; he notice that her eyes were also shinning with water. - "My vendetta is the only thing I have left, don't you dare trying take this away from me."

"You still have me…" –He said tenderly taking a step toward her, but she stepped back.

"It's not enough…" –She was not trying to hurt him, but the truth is uglier and bitter than any lie.

"You are my best friend… You are family to me, please don't do this." –his voice was choked and now he didn't cared about the solitary tear that rolled down his face. " –"Don't make me choose between you and Arthur."

"Oh, but you've already made that decision." –Her tear had vanished and now the cold hearted woman he saw that night was back. –"And the time will come where you will be the last thing standing in my way… And then I will have decisions to make."

They looked at each other, a million thoughts going through their heads, a thousand of feelings coming and going in their hearts. How everything could have ended this way? He always tried to do the right thing, but it seemed that he only made things worse! Morgana… He still couldn't live with himself after what he did to her, but then… All she had done to him, to the people he cared about; but yet! He couldn't find the strengths to hate her and now Mab… It was almost dawn, he had to leave.

"Good bye, Queen Mab." –he bowed briefly before her avoiding eye contact.

"Good bye, Master Merlin. Forlan! Get a horse for the young sir" –she screamed to a man that was sleeping on the ground. She held the fabric of the entrance of the tent opening a passage for him.

They didn't looked at each other again, but Merlin stopped in front of her before leaving to the cold morning; he wished there was something else he could argue with her, but there was nothing left to be said. He stepped out of her tent and crossed the camp without daring to look back.

Mab stood at the entrance for a few seconds watching him go away; she was mentally and physically exhausted, there was a whole in her core and a tiny voice deep down her head screaming to her Go with him! Go now!, but she didn't move, her feet were stuck on the ground.

Suddenly she heard someone clapping behind her; Mab turned standing her hand ready to jinx whoever it might be, but what she saw made her stop, wide her eyes and let down her hand. She looked at the figure sitting on a chair with the feet crossed on the table, her lips tightened into a thin line while she ran her eyes trough his grin and his fierceful eyes. He stopped the applause and with a very delighted voice said:

"Bravo."