Here we go guys, here's another one!
Thank you so much for your continued support and your great reviews! I promise you won't regret giving this story a shot.
It's all still new for me, so please, let me know what you think, it'll mean so much. The story is fresh and though I know the exact direction it'll take, I hope I can make it interesting for you.
Also, don't worry about the lack of drama regarding Jon's parentage. It will be a drama, just not a Targaryen one :D We'll have that with Rhae instead :)
So, thank you for sticking around. If you like it, you know what to do! :)
My legs give up and I fall down on my knees. No one runs to help me. It is evident that I have not tripped and fallen, but that I am simply overcome with emotion. As my knees sink into the wet sand, I reach out and grab a handful of it, feeling it slip between my fingers, watching as the sticky grains cling to my hand. This is my land. A part of the island I was born on.
It does not feel foreign. I imagined it would. Westeros has always been a place that belonged to strangers, a place that was never mine, that I could never call home.
It doesn't feel like that anymore. As I touch the sand again, I know it is right. I should have been here a long time ago. There is where I'm meant to be.
On our way to Westeros, I dreamt of this room. When I walked into it today, I was not surprised to see that it looks almost identical to the room in my dream. This one has no dust and no spider webs around it. And here, Rhaegar Targaryen did not appear. I know that man had simply been a product of my imagination, in a dream nonetheless, but as I sit to Dany's right side, I cannot help but scoot to the edge of my seat, expecting a silver haired man to walk in at any moment. I do not want to be here, not in this room.
Not to mention that Dany knows all I have to say. We talk in private every day, since there are some things I do not feel comfortable with everyone else knowing. What I say in council meetings is but a shadow of what I actually think and Dany knows that very well. Tyrion knows it too. It is only his family name that has stopped me from confiding in him as well. I find him to be very smart, charming and even quite funny too, but at the end of the day, he is Tywin Lannister's son. That fact alone prevents me to trust him fully, perhaps as fully as he deserves.
Dany knows all of my opinions and she still wants me here. I could never refuse my Queen and because of it, I now sit in the very room I ran away from in my dreams, with a bunch of people I did not want to be with. I do not mind Yara Greyjoy. She is a smart, capable woman who isn't afraid of speaking her mind. I quite like her, actually. I do not mind her younger brother either, even though Theon Greyjoy never really speaks much. Tyrion is here as well and I do not mind him. Missandei is a friend. Grey Worm… I'm not quite sure if I should consider him a friend or not, but I would very much like to keep him alive. And then, there is her. Ellaria Sand.
I do not want to be in her vicinity and I do not try to hide it. In fact, I had asked Dany not to make an alliance with her at all. I all but begged. I couldn't hold it against her when she didn't listen to me; she needs allies and I had to go over my strong dislike towards Ellaria. While I kept my mouth shut, I know that Ellaria can tell I do not want her here. I have met her a long time ago and never before in my life did she strike me as a person who chooses her words carefully. She was choosing them now.
Her voice irritates me her accent reminds me too much of the accent of the man I loved and his death. She has no right to speak here, not as a representative of Dorne. Her presence here is an insult to the Martell name, a family I am proud to come from, even if I do not wear their name as my own.
"We should wait for Lady Olenna Tyrell to arrive," Tyrion speaks up, interrupting Ellaria in the middle of her sentence. I smirk in amusement at her annoyed facial expression. "We cannot have a complete council meeting if the council is not complete."
"Is she bringing her army as well?" Ellaria asks. Just the tone of her voice is enough to shake me.
"No, she is bringing the food and coin to feed the armies we already have," I say, preventing her from speaking up at the last moment. She knows she can't. She knows I have more power in my hands than she ever will. "What of Dorne? I only saw a few ships, couple hundred men. What happened to the… Dornish power?" I ask, mockingly imitating her accent. I know it is on point when her eyes widen.
"Control your niece, your Grace." She utters, not moving her eyes away from me.
"Respect a princess, Ellaria," I bite back. Oh, I'm going to get an earful from both Dany and Tyrion later, I am sure of it. But I know it'll be worth it. "Unless you want us to take the Dornish without you. I'm sure I would have a say in that, seeing as I'm the only surviving child of Princess Elia Martell. Remember her?"
Ellaria Sand is a smart, capable woman. Not as smart and capable as I am though.
"Rhae, please," Dany warns me. "I know it is difficult, but try to reign in your dislike of Ellaria."
"Oh, I am holding back, I promise you that," I tell her, not moving my eyes away from Ellaria. "I'll be in my chambers. I won't be needed here until Lady Olenna arrives. Besides, all of you know what my opinions are." I say, still staring Ellaria down. When no one, not even Dany, dares to try and stop me, I walk out of the council room, with much more ease than I did in my dreams.
If I am going to be the proper Targaryen Princess that I was born to be, I must learn how to behave. Yes, I am well educated and yes, I know my manners, but I have the explosive temper my uncle had too, which could only lead to bad things. I need to learn how to control myself. Even if Ellaria Sand deserves to be hanged for what she did, the truth of the matter is that we need her. She will not hang and I must teach myself to not let it bother me.
Then again, why not hang her? She killed the Prince of Dorne and his heir. She deserves death. A painful death, if possible. Even the girls deserve it, no matter how much I care for them. I could easily go through with my threat. I could stand up and call for the Dornish lords to stand behind me, as the only surviving child of their Princess, Princess Elia Martell, sister of the ruler they have slain. I would forgive those who joined and murder those who didn't. I could end Ellaria and her infatuation with power with just a few carefully spoken and written words.
The only problem with that plan is that I would have the entire Dorne on my shoulders. I would have to rule. If there is one thing I am sure of, one thing I have been sure of even before I sought out Dany, it is that I do not want to rule. Not as a Queen, not as a Lady and not as a Princess.
But would it truly work? They know of me, all of them. They know that their ruling family, the respected and loved Martells have supported me financially over the years. They know I am the daughter of their princess. Just as they know that I am a foreigner. They do not know me. I wouldn't be surprised if many of them do not believe I am who I claim to be. Gods only know what Ellaria had whispered into their ears. They follow her because the Sand Snakes follow her. And they follow the Sand Snakes because in their eyes, the Sand Snakes are more Dornish than I will ever be.
I could try and start a rebellion, with Dany backing my claim. But I will not. A lot of people would die, I would be responsible for those deaths and I would have to rule, which I do not want. It's one thing to be a Princess, standing behind a Queen, wanting to help her in any way possible and another to be a ruler of an entire region, one that I did not grow up in. Dany has the Dornish support anyways. The last thing we need is to start another war, a war for a cause we are not even interested in. I will get my revenge on Ellaria in a different manner, when the time is right.
I have three more people on my list of people I absolutely cannot stand to see at this very moment, while I am still boiling with rage, and one of those people is waiting in the throne room for our council meeting to be finished. Our eyes meet as I walk by but I do not stop in my tracks. I do not wish to see her and I want to speak to her even less.
I feel like screaming in rage when I hear her following me.
"Obara, leave me be," I say, not turning around. I don't even need to turn around and check, I know it is her. She has been looking for a chance to speak with me ever since we arrived to Dragonstone. I was lucky enough to have traveled on a different ship, but the moment we all stepped on land, I had known my luck would run out. "I don't want to talk to you."
"You're can't keep avoiding me, Rhaenys."
"I can. Believe me, I can."
"No, you can't!" she persists and I suddenly feel a grip on my wrist. She pulls me back and I nearly lose my balance. By the time I turn around to face her, I am fuming with anger. She's still gripping my wrist, so I snatch it away, despite the strength of her grip.
"Do that again and I will rip your arm off."
"No, you won't," she shakes her head, looking slightly smug. "I know how to defend myself."
"Yes, but you mustn't forget that the person who taught you self-defense also taught me how to fight," I utter, watching how her face changes color at the mention of her father. "Stay away from me, Obara. You, Ellaria and your sisters. I have nothing to say to you."
"We did what needed to be done!" she snaps. I turn around and start walking away. I knew she would justify it like that. I don't need to hear it. "He needed to be avenged!" I did not want to engage in this conversation, but I couldn't control my tongue.
"Did he?" I ask, turning around. "Did he really? He voluntarily entered that trial by combat, Obara. He did it willingly, knowing very well that he might die. It was his choice. He wasn't betrayed or stabbed in the back, he was killed in a trial by combat he himself chose to fight!"
"He was killed by the Lannisters while defending one of the Lannisters!" Obara yells.
"Then have you killed the Lannisters?" I ask. Even now, when I look at the annoyed expression of her face, I don't get any pleasure from it. I am not winning a fight. I am proving her wrong but I take no joy in it. "Do not try to justify the unjustifiable, Obara. Not with me."
"He wouldn't have done anything," she shakes her head. "He didn't want to do anything to defend his brother, his own blood. He was the worst leader Dorne has ever had."
"And what of Trystane?" I ask as I walk over towards her. "What did that boy do to you? Lie to someone who believes it, Obara. You didn't kill Prince Doran because of revenge or because he was a bad leader. You killed him because you, your sisters and bitch of a mother wanted power."
"That isn't true."
"Oh, isn't it?" I laugh. "I knew Oberyn, Obara. He was the only real family I have ever had. He was the only one who ever made an effort to get to know me. You? Nym? Tyenne? The only reason any of you bothered to get to know me is because Oberyn insisted on it."
"Doran was the first one who never wanted to know you."
"And should I want him dead because of it?" I ask. Once again, her face changes colors. I did not realize just how much hatred I felt towards her until this very moment. "You are right. Doran only ever sent gold, Oberyn was the one who wanted to be my family. And I do not blame Doran for it. I am a walking, talking reminder of his dead sister. Him not wanting me by his side does not make him deserving of death. Your excuses are very poor, Obara. We both know Oberyn would kill you with his own two hands for what you did to his brother and nephew. Do not call it revenge; call it what it is. Kinslaying."
That word, that one word leaves her silent. She doesn't look as confident as she did moments ago, nor does she look as if she is about to stop me. I keep my eyes on hers one moment more before I turn around and walk away. She confirms my suspicion and doesn't follow me again.
I don't understand. I really don't. And I have tried to ever since I heard of what they did, but I cannot justify it. Did Dany take her dragons and burn everyone and everything in her sight? No, she did not. She has the power to do so but she decided not to. I want to kill Ellaria with my own two hands. Am I doing it? No, I am not. Why am I not doing it? Because it is not the right thing to do.
I am sure the three of them would go after me if I was to harm Ellaria in any way but I also know that I could simply stand behind three dragons if they were to do so. I would like to see how the Sand Snakes could fair against three full grown dragons, one of which is surprisingly loyal to me as well.
It would all be easier if I just wanted to rule. In an ideal situation, I could have Dorne's support in a matter of days, if not earlier. It was my mother's home and I could rule it, pledging my loyalty to Dany once she takes over the throne. The only problem is that I truly do not want that. I do not want such responsibility, to have so many people depending on me and the decisions I would make. I do not want to marry for an alliance; I do not want to burden my children with a kingdom to rule. I do not want to make anyone else pay for my mistakes, not when I have spent the last twenty years paying for the ones Rhaegar Targaryen made. I am not going to do that to someone who should remain completely innocent.
I almost get lost in the halls; these are not the ones I had run through in my dreams. After searching for a long time, I finally open the door to a room that looks like the one I was in earlier. I am not sure until I see three spears leaned on the wall. Keira has already tried to make me feel more comfortable in this unusual place.
Unusual it is, but it is not frightening in any way. I imagine that anyone else would feel uneasy with all the dragon carvings in the walls of every room but I do not. If there ever is a place that looked as if it was my home, it is Dragonstone.
The only fear I have now is that the dreams will remain. I do not have them every night, but when I do, my throat clenches and tears fill my eyes. I am afraid that being at Dragonstone, the same place I have been dreaming of, will only make them worse and more vivid. I am afraid that one night, he will be too fast for me to escape and he will manage to puts his hand around my wrist to stop me. I am afraid of the conversation that might follow if he does so. Yet every time I dream of being in that hallway, I cannot make myself turn around and walk away, even if I know what is waiting for me in the council room.
A loud noise makes me jump up and I turn around, watching as he slams the door shut behind him.
Another person I do not wish to see, much less be left alone with.
"We need to talk," Daemon Sand tells me. I had seen him before we left Meereen but it was only from afar. We were not on the same ship for the journey to Westeros and I am thankful for that. I did not wish to speak to him then and I don't want to speak with him now. And yet here he is, in my own chambers, looking just as good as the last time I laid eyes on him. "You have been avoiding me and I get the feeling that you've been doing it on purpose.
"I have no problem to admitting that," I shrug, doing my best to look unfazed both by his words and his presence. My heart might not ache for him but it would be stupid to say that I do not care for him at all. That still doesn't mean I can't avoid him. "When someone doesn't want to speak with you, they avoid you. That's exactly what my intent was, Daemon."
"Why?" he asks. I knew it the moment he walked in; he isn't going to give up easily.
"I simply do not want to," I shrug. I have no particular reason. He did not wrong me, not in the ways Ellaria and the Snakes did. As far as I know, he was not a part of the mutiny that ended my uncle and cousin. Then again, Daemon had always been loyal to Oberyn. If he thought he was avenging him, can I truly believe that he had no part in it? At this point, I am afraid of what I might find out if I question him. "I have enough on my plate as it is. Dornish drama isn't going to help me now."
"You know I do not bring you any drama," he tells me; his voice is lower than it was just moments ago and my eyes widen when he starts walking towards me. He does it slowly, on purpose. Foolishly, I take a step back, knowing that will not stop him from reaching his me. "I have missed you, Rhae. It's been too long." He calmly states, still walking my way.
"Daemon, it is over," I shake my head, reminding him of what I told him the last time he spent the night in my room. "I am not that stupid girl without a care in the world any longer. We are no longer in Essos. I'm not Rhae anymore. I am Princess Rhaenys Targaryen and I need to act that way."
"You are still the same person," he shakes his head. "You are still that girl."
"Perhaps, deep down," I sigh. I'll never be able to explain the difference to him. He will never understand. "But I can't act in the same way I did before. I have grown up, Daemon. You were there when I was young and foolish and I can't afford to be young and foolish anymore. I don't want that. It's not duty that is stopping me from being with you again. It's my own decision. We never loved one another anyway and you know that." I add, feeling slightly angered at his persistence.
It had never been love, not even one-sided love. We liked each other well enough, and I suppose there had been passion, to a certain extent, but there was never love. He can't just barge into my chambers and say he wants me again when everything I could offer he could get from any other girl.
And he truly could. Daemon is a very handsome man, well built, with piercing blue eyes and long, dark hair. He doesn't even have to show his smile and dimples to have women swooning over him. After all, I was attracted to him for a reason. He is handsome and kind. At the time, I had been rebellious and our affair had been as foolish as it was dangerous. We had certainly had fun while it lasted but it is over now.
"I am not falling on my knees, claiming to love you," he smirks. He stands in front of me. I am cornered, with him in front of me and a wall against my back; I walked away as much as I could. "I am asking you for one last goodbye. You said it yourself, you are Princess Rhaenys Targaryen now. I will gladly go to war wherever you and your aunt send me but I might never come back. We have made this mistake many times over. Why not make it again. One last time?"
Not even his speech is going to make me agree to it. I will remain adamant, I know what I want and what I do not want but then his hand slides around my waist and before I can move away, he pulls me closer.
The moment our lips touch, all of the common sense I have decides to leave me. For one moment alone, I feel like Rhae and not Rhaenys. I feel like the girl I am and not the woman I have to be. Wanting to prolong that moment and enjoy one more evening before all Seven Hells rain down upon us, I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to me.
"They have settled at Dragonstone," Davos tells me, giving me a pointed look. He is a fan of those, it would seem. "I believe you had a proper education as a child, your Grace. I am sure your maester taught you how close Dragonstone is to King's Landing."
"And how far both are from Winterfell," I remind him as I take off my gloves and throw them on the desk. Davos is already sitting by the time I sit behind it. He's giving me that look again. "I don't care about their war. I can't care about their war. Not when the real threat is much closer to us then they are."
"And if the White Walkers and the army of the dead don't kill us, one of them will."
"So it'll be Cersei Lannister we face or the Targaryen girls?" I ask, watching as Davos nods his head. I remember the talks about the Targaryen girl with three dragons. I remember when rumors of another Targaryen started. "Two of them?" I ask the man. I should already name him my Hand. He's been doing the job for a while now.
"Daughter of the Mad King and daughter of Prince Rhaegar."
"And they are working together?" I ask in surprise, but the old knight simply nods his head again. "It's difficult for me to imagine two women not bickering about such a powerful position." I say and Davos shrugs his shoulders.
"One of them is a Queen and the other one isn't," he shrugs his shoulders again. "If they are bickering about who's in charge, they sure aren't showing it to the rest of Westeros."
"It makes no difference," I sigh, looking down at the map before me. As I pointed out, Winterfell is too far for either one of the two Houses to attack us. "They will fight the Lannisters, the Lannisters will fight them, until one of the two families is long gone. They can play their little war amongst themselves; I have more important things to deal with."
"So do they," Davos speaks up again, raising his eyebrow at me. "The North is still very much a part of Westeros. We might be the first ones to be hit if they pass the Wall, but once they are done with us, they'll get to them. And they don't even know about it."
"The crown was informed of the threat a long time ago." I remind him.
"The crown?" Davos laughs incredulously. "Which one? You have one too. You might not wear it on your luscious locks, but your people threw it on you," I roll my eyes at his comment. As much as I like his honesty, it can be irritating at times. "Cersei Lannister might know, but she dismissed it and you know it. Even she never even gave it a second thought. But the Targaryen girls were in Essos just days ago. If any words from Westeros reached them at all, I guarantee you none of them were about the White Walkers."
"They'll find out soon enough," I tell him. "What we have now won't be enough to stop them. It won't even be enough to make a dent in their numbers. You may be aware of the threat, Ser Davos, but you have not seen them. I have. The Lannisters, with all their forces, would not be able to stop them. Neither would the Targaryen girls, not even with ten dragons. I won't be able to stop them, but I'll be damned if I do not try to do so."
They probably wouldn't believe me. I didn't understand, not until I saw it. And if they see it… there will be no one left to understand. None of them, none of those southerners will ever know or understand, not until the white walkers knock at their doors and I doubt they will politely await an invitation to come inside.
"You're right, your Grace," Davos nods his head. "We won't even make a dent. They won't be able to do anything, they won't know what hit them. However, together… We might make a dent. We might be able to stop them even."
"You obviously do not know Cersei Lannister," I shake my head, chuckling at the very idea of making that woman consider the well-being of anyone other than herself. "She won't care, not until they are marching through King's Landing. And even then, she might still be in denial."
"What of the Targaryens?"
At first, I did not think he was actually suggesting it. It is ridiculous. It wouldn't work.
"I'm sure they will be well aware of our failure in time to try to do something," I mumble. "If they had any common sense, they would have stayed in Essos."
"As you should have stayed on the Wall and left Winterfell in the hands of Ramsay Bolton?"
"It's not the same," I disagree. "It is absolutely not the same."
"It is exactly the same," Davos comments. "I always thought that Stannis was the most stubborn person I ever met, but you are giving him quite a run for it. Never thought I would get to serve another stubborn King."
"I am not stubborn, Davos," I disagree with him yet again. "I simply do not want to waste valuable time on a useless cause. Valuable time I could use to prepare for the war ahead. They are bickering. They are playing, waiting to see who will attack first. Both of those houses are playing their little game. I don't want to get in the middle of this, not when the dead could attack at any given moment."
"You wouldn't be wasting valuable time if they decide to help, your Grace."
"They wouldn't."
"And you know them so well?" Davos asks. He has a point, I will give him that, but I can't risk it. It would take me weeks, if not months to travel to where they are and return home. I can't afford to waste such time, not when I know that they probably wouldn't be traveling back with their armies to help me. Cersei Lannister would never listen and by the sound of it, the Targaryen girls are simply thirsty for revenge.
"I don't need to know them. It's out of the question, Ser Davos," I tell him, holding my ground. "I can't afford to waste that time. It's too big of a risk. If an opportunity occurs, I might change my mind but right now, the Wall and how long it will stand is my only care."
The magic of the Wall might not be enough. I am certain it is not enough. Once they pass it, we are all dead. There is no force in this world that could stop them. What Davos suggested, all of us working together… I doubt it would work even then. We will put up a fight, I will put up a fight but the truth is that we are all living on borrowed time. We need an impossible amount of luck along with an impossibly big army. I can't watch as the Lannisters and the Targaryens fight over a kingdom that will be dead soon enough. If they show a sign of wanting to hear me out, I might change my mind.
Right now, I have an army of dead men to stop.