Five Reasons not to tell the Truth

Disclaimer: First chapter (don't you think it's depressing that they STILL don't belong to me?)

AN: Jane's all-knowing perspective... or that's what he'd like to think... have fun reading

AN.5: Thanks to Jisbon4ever and brown eyes parker who reviewed the last chapter and thanks to everybody who reviewed the one before that!

AN.99: I made Wallpapers using each chapter and main character as a theme... if you wanna look at them, they're on my deviant art page, link's in my profile ;)

Four – to avoid repercussions – Jane's POV

Rigsby is leaving. Cho left almost an hour ago. Now it's just Lisbon, Grace and me, all of us wallowing in self-pity and loneliness. I do that at home. The office is the place I go to when I want to be entertained, watched, occupied with something other than my dead family. Tonight, I can have none of that. Lisbon is frustrated after a long and stressful day; she blames me for that, mostly, though she did have a mysterious phone call that upset her. She won't talk about it. I'm pretty sure someone she's close to gave her a piece of their mind and she didn't like it at all. I wish I knew what it was. Perfect teasing material most likely.

Cho's frustrated, too. Well, he was frustrated. He's probably been relaxing at Elise's for the last thirty minutes or so, letting sleeping dogs lie and getting over whatever it was that went wrong during their lunch date. Something small. Something... it was the reason he left late today. Reason enough not to spend all of his valuable spare time with Elise, but not bad enough not to see her tonight. I won't be able to find out any more details till tomorrow, and I fear even then my chances are more than thin. Getting Cho to give me personal information is even harder than pulling teeth.

Rigsby... I know exactly what's eating him. Grace's rebound affair is obviously more painful to him than he'd like to admit - not very surprising. After all, he's still in love with her. He's feeling even worse about our little talk though. He showed a lot of insight into my life, and I don't like that, especially when it comes to the topic we were talking about; my love life. Or rather, my feelings for Lisbon.

...

"This isn't about me and Lisbon."

"Oh, really? Because this is all sounding very, 'Hello, Kettle! It's me, Pot'!"

"No, it's not! Lisbon and I... it's different."

"I don't see how it's different. Sure, there are probably rules and regulations, but you don't really care about those, and when push comes to shove, neither does the boss. I don't see how that's different at all."

"Probably because you don't have a serial killer going after everyone you get close to."

Silence.

"Jane..."

"It's okay, Rigsby. I'm glad you don't get it. I'm glad that there are some people who are safe from those nightmares."

"Jane..."

"Don't worry about it... and tell HER!"

"JANE!"

...

I try not to use the term 'love' when it comes to Lisbon. Loving me, being loved by me... it's dangerous. The repercussions are... not something I even want to think about. I think the widow would agree with me. She didn't like the repercussions of her husband having a pregnant lover either. We still had to exclude her as a suspect, as she had an iron-clad alibi.

Lisbon gets up and walks over to her office. She still needs to write a formal apology to the guy I annoyed during our first interrogation on this case. She's gonna be fine. I think. I'll make sure to tease her some more before I fake leaving for the night.

I'd try to cheer Van Pelt up, too, but I already know it wouldn't do any good. The only one who could make her smile tonight is Rigsby, and he's already gone. Instead, I walk over to my couch. Maybe I'll be able to catch an hour of shut-eye.

TBC – next chapter "to avoid being punished"

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