A/N: I was going to add more to this chapter, but it's late, I'm tired, and plus eager to get another update to you guys/gals, so here you go! Have fun!

Shout Outs: To DetectiveMax and Denisialionesse. Thanks for reviewing! Now everyone else follow their example!

Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Walking Dead' or any of its related characters. Those are all property of Frank Darabont, Robert Kirkman, AMC and all others who hold copyright to this franchise. However, all original characters made up in this story, like Audrey, are mine.

"Oh, come on now! I mean, yeah, it sucks you have a whore for a wife, but, look on the bright side, she and your son are still alive. Isn't that good enough?"

"My best friend and my wife. My best friend and my wife." Rick was mumbling to himself over and over, in a trance of trauma.

Audrey rolled her emerald eyes, crossing her arms.

"Yes, that's right, your best friend and wife are officially knocking boots. At least they were smart enough to use condoms anyway. Can we move on now, Rick? I mean, you're kind of being a baby, which is a huge turn-off for me."

"My wife and my best friend? My w-wife and b-best friend?" he was starting to get a crazy glint in his blue eyes, making Audrey uncomfortable.

As he continued with his mantra of misery, she went about exploring the kitchen, because for one, she was starving and two, she suspected they'd be needing food for the road until they found a safe place to hang. However, it turned out that Whorie Lori was a hog and packed up most of the kitchen with her to go, leaving just a handful of crackers, salt packets and-Oreos?!

"No flippin' way!" the blond snatched the package of cookies from the cupboard, salivating at the sparkling image on the plastic wrapping.

"Hey, Sheriiff, guess what I found?" came her sing-song voice.

"How could she? How could he? How could they?!" Rick was pulling at his hair, tears streaming down his stubbly face.

Audrey returned to his side and crouched down, shoving a cookie in his open mouth as started to wail in anguish.

"Purty tasty huh?" she said with enthusiasm, munching her own at the same time. "Let me guess, they were Carl's?"

The policeman's eyes bulged and he clawed at his throat as he gagged on the unexpected treat that had been lodged into his gaping mouth. Audrey watched the man with adoration, oblivious to the fact that he was choking to death. All she could think of was how cute he was. Popping another Oreo into her mouth, the blond scooted closer, patting his head affectionately.

"Hey there, no need to turn into a wreck, Sheriff Grimes, these sort of things happen all the time! You won't be the first and you won't be the last either. Heck, I've had ten guys cheat on me! How do you think I feel? You don't see me dying over it, do you?" she tried to console him through her mouthful.

When Rick didn't respond and continued hacking up bits of Oreo into the air as he struggled to breathe properly, his face turning from red to blue all the while, Audrey grew slightly annoyed.

"Really, Dude?" she swallowed her Oreo, then proceeded to backhand him thrice across the face. "Get. Yourself. Together! For the love of God!"

At this, Rick flopped over and finally dislodged the cookie chunk from his esophagus. It flew through the air and landed in a pot of flowers on the opposite side of the kitchen. Gasping for breath while he rolled onto his back, Rick's color returned to normal and he was no longer crying. Audrey seen this and placed her hands on her hips, smiling and nodding with self-satisfaction.

"Should have done that sooner," she mumbled to herself. "Feeling better, Sheriff?"

"B-better? Better?!" he shakily sat up, anger written all over his face. "You almost killed me with a fucking OREO!"

"Killed you with an Oreo?" the blond blinked at him, perplexed. "Um, no, actually, I was providing you with nourishment. Also, goodies always cheer sad people up, don't they?"

Sheriff Rick Grimes could have said some choice words, but instead he let out a frustrated cry, got to his feet and fled from the house in a seething rage. He stepped out into the sunlight and fell to his knees on his front lawn, lifting his face to the heavens.

"Why must you punish me so, God?! What did I do to deserve all this?! WHAT?!"

He flinched at the touch of a delicate hand upon his shoulder.

It was Audrey's delicate hand, of course. Who else would have delicate hands? Shane? I doubt it. Well, maybe…

"Why are you screaming at the sky?" she inquired like an innocent child.

Rick shrugged her hand off roughly. "Because, I'm fucking losing my mind."

"Oh…" the woman thought about this for a moment, suddenly brightening up. "Me too!"

"Lord Jesus Almighty…" he groaned exhaustedly, massaging his face with the palms of his hands.

"I love Jesus." Audrey said robotically, sitting down close next to him so that their shoulders bumped.

The policeman shot up onto his feet at the unwanted contact and skittered away from her, resembling an infuriated feline with its fur sticking up in the air and fangs bared as a warning.

"Can you please give me some space?!" he hissed at the overly-chummy woman.

She looked quite offended by his belligerence. He'd seemed like such a gentleman! Well that has certainly changed.

"What the heck has your panties in a knot?!" said she, crossing her arms over her pronounced chest.

"Oh, nothing, nothing, except for the fact that my life has gone to utter shit." was his severely sarcastic response.

Rick then turned his back to her and walked to the path that led to his front steps, where he sat down and proceeded to indulge in some more shameless self-pity. As he did, he failed to notice the sound of metal hitting something with a thunk!, followed by a dull thud behind him, for his entire attention was drawn to a drunk guy staggering down the middle of the street.

"Hey! You there!" he shouted at the man. "You okay?!"

I have the strangest feeling that someone is sneaking up on me from behind all of a sudden. How cliché, he thought to himself.

Turning his head around, half-expecting to come face-to-face with Audrey, Rick was taken by surprise when instead he saw a young black boy there. In the boy's hands was a rather large shovel. A smile began to stretch Rick's lips but, before the sheriff could say a word, the boy had hurled the shovel at his face, where it collided with a metallic bang!

And then Rick was out like a light.

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