Title inspiration: Fall Out Boy - Champion, because if I can live through this, then I really can do anything.
Set at the start of 6x14
Two quiet and nerve wracking weeks go by without incident but both Maura and Jane are still dealing with the aftermath in their own ways. Maura's sleep has been fitful with nightmares of varying themes and tonight is no different. Resigning herself to another long night of sleep deprivation and taking the advice of her therapist she rises, pulling on her discarded pair of pajamas, grabbing her journal, and padding quietly down the stairs to her kitchen.
Maura flicks on the light, placing the book on the island bench and stifling a yawn as she sets about putting the kettle on the stove for a calming cup of green tea. While she waits for the water to come to come to temperature she takes a seat, opening her journal to the page bookmarked by her pen and then staring out into space, pondering how best to start writing her newest entry.
Should she start with recounting the fading events of her latest nightmare? Or perhaps the moment when she woke up and felt the phantom pain between her fourth and fifth ribs? Maybe the lingering fears these dreams remind her of?
Maura starts with the date and time but gets no further because creaking draws her attention. She looks to her right to where she believes it has come from, scared by what she might see but deciding that offence could be her best defence. Maura slips off the chair, book in hand as her weapon and silently steps towards her living area. It is dimly lit between the kitchen light and the moon reflecting the sun's rays but enough for her to see that there is no one standing there.
Confused, Maura turns on the lamp only to find her partner sleeping on her couch uninvited. "Jane!" Maura scolds, recalling the detective had told her she would not be staying over in order to give her the space she had asked for.
"What is it?" Jane asks, flying upright before she is fully conscious, anticipating a threat, "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" Maura parrots, "What are you doing here?"
"Uhhhhhmmmm," Jane scans her environment for threats but finds nothing, sitting up properly and pushing the blanket off her, "Uh, I-I was just stopping by." It sounds flimsy even as she says it but in the heat of the moment she can't find a better excuse for her being there other than telling the truth which she avoids.
Maura doesn't believe her for a second but lowers her book in realisation and disappointment, "You were watching us." she states, finding the statement of fact leaves her feeling mildly upset that Jane has been lying to her.
"No." Jane immediately denies, breaking eye contact and rubbing her sleepy eyes.
This only serves to frustrate Maura, she doesn't like being lied to even if she understands Jane's motives and the fear driving them, "How long have you been sneaking in?"
"It's not sneaking, I have a key." Jane defends, rubbing tiredly at her face and avoiding the question.
"I understand the nervousness, but this," Maura gestures to Jane and the couch, moving around it to stand next to her, "is not a solution."
"It's just until we catch him Maura." In the absence of a threat, tiredness seeps into Jane's voice, hunched over with her elbows on her knees as she slides her hands into her hair, scratching her scalp.
Maura takes a seat next to her partner with a small sigh, waiting till Jane pushes her hair out of her face and makes eye contact, "You need to talk to someone." Maura states and Jane pulls a face in disagreement, continuing to run her fingers through her hair so Maura tries to persuade her through anecdotal evidence, "Melanie has been really helpful, she's given me a lot of tools to help me cope with having been abducted. Everytime I feel anxious or scared, I just write in my journal. It's a way of voiding the onset of PTSD."
"So what are you doing up in the middle of the night?"
Maura takes a breath before responding, taking the precious few seconds to find the best response to Jane's point, "It's a process."
"Right, well, we'll see how your therapy goes and then maybe I'll consider talking to somebody."
It is typical of Jane to avoid talking about her emotions or seeing a professional, she never has been one to admit help when she needs it, particularly regarding her mental health. Maura theories that it could be in part due to the stigma in the police force surrounding psychologists and their general attitude that they don't need help. She's also very aware of Jane's dislike for anyone seeing her weak, hurt or broken, recalling how she had requested a new partner after Korsak had seen her vulnerable in her encounter with Hoyt.
The kettle sounds it's arrival to boiling point, startling both women and they raise their respective weapons, only to lower them a moment later, Jane looking thoroughly unimpressed while Maura manages a single laugh at the situation.
"I didn't know you slept with your gun." Maura prompts upon watching the equally sleep deprived detective miss her holster a few times in attempting to put her firearm in it.
"I don't. But I'm not going to let someone get the drop on me unarmed." Jane grumbles, successfully locking her gun in place and picking up the orange blanket she had been using, beginning to fold it so she won't have to look Maura in the eye. "You were going to hit me with a book?" She asks, holding the blanket between her chin and collarbone so she can reach both corners of the fabric and pull them together.
Maura looks down at her journal. "Anything can be a weapon if you get creative and have enough knowledge of the human anatomy." She starts off towards the screeching kettle, pulling it off the burner and turning the stove top off.
"There's a block of knives right there," Jane points to them on the kitchen island, dropping the folded blanket onto the couch, "Next time you go poking around at night, take one of those with you."
"Given I have no training with knives it would be unwise to take up a weapon that I can not properly use. It would be more likely that the weapon would be taken and turned on me, and those knives are not intended to be used on human skin and bone. Better to go in unarmed than provide an intruder with one." Maura explains as she retrieves her favourite mug and readies the tea leaves, noting that the boiling water is now above the optimal temperature for green tea.
"Okay that is a terrible plan and you're going to get yourself killed. Next time you hear noises in the night, don't go investigating then. Call me and lock yourself in the bathroom." Jane pads heavily over to the island, taking a seat where Maura had vacated earlier.
"I have self defense training."
"Bullets don't care."
"Have you been going home at all?" Maura asks, changing the subject back to Jane's intrusion.
"Of course." Jane had intended to leave her answer at that, but she caught the skeptical look Maura sent over shoulder and amended, "I'd go home, eat if I felt like it, shower, change, and come over once I was sure you'd be asleep."
"You haven't been eating?"
"Neither have you." Jane retorts, resting her chin in her palm and wishing for either more sleep or a cup of coffee.
Maura recognises the truth in her words, but rather than address it she turns to another observation, "You must have been getting up awfully early for me not to see you in the mornings."
"Doesn't matter."
"It does matter!" Maura argues, "You need your sleep, and by my estimate between waiting for me to go sleep and making sure you leave before I get up, you must only be getting five hours of sleep a night. That's not nearly close enough to the recommended eight for an adult. Did you know that sleep deprivation is as bad as intoxication? It's worse in some situations, like driving for instance, there have been studies that clearly demonstrate the correlation of one's skill while driving sleep deprived being three to ten times worse than driving under the influence of alcohol. You wouldn't drive to work or fire a gun while drunk so by the same logic you shouldn't do any of these things while sleep deprived either."
Jane decides not to correct her math and admit that it is closer to three or four hours sleep, depending on if she sleeps at all with the anxiety and nightmares she finds herself silently struggling with. "I'll be fine so long as you and Ma are fine."
"'I'm fine if you're fine' is not a healthy ideology."
"Neither is being lax about personal security or getting abducted."
Maura sighs, "Jane… This isn't sustainable." trying not to take a personal offence to Jane's potential implication that she was in someway at fault for what happened with Harris.
"It doesn't need to last forever, I'll be outta your hair soon."
"I really think you should speak to a professional, someone who can give you unbiased advice to help you deal with these issues of paranoia and anxiety."
"I'm not paranoid." Jane denies, even in the face of the evidence against her. Maura doesn't need to say anything to the contrary, her pointed look says enough as she softly glares at her. "I'm okay. I don't need to talk to anyone, and besides, I have you."
"I'm not and can't be your therapist Jane. Nor can I be your only outlet. If you're worried someone might see you or say something about seeing the department shrink, there are plenty of others out there."
Jane grunts noncommittally by means of acknowledgement, surprised at the hurt that comes with Maura's words, "Look, Maura I-" Jane hesitates, she doesn't want to relive the memories, doesn't want to acknowledge her long standing trauma but even now she's looking down at her hands, at the permanent, physical reminder that never faded away, much like the mental scars, "I've been where you are." Jane's voice shakes and she opens her palms to Maura to demonstrate what she's talking about without having to say his name.
"I remember." Maura's voice drops to a whisper and on instinct draws nearer to her.
"When we found that body, and someone left a flare outside my apartment, you knew I wasn't sleeping and you came around my place to guard me, spouting the statics of my weapon…"
"You taught me the theory of how to shoot." Maura finishes and Jane sniffs, braving the memories to get her point across.
"I was exhausted and you were always there for me, I spent most of that night in a semi conscious state and I didn't even know that was possible to do while still technically sleeping. I was terrified that if he came after me he would hurt you too for protecting me." Jane smiles for a moment in anticipation of sharing her next sentence, "You looked really good holding my gun." Maura smiles at the memory, a moment of friendship shared between the two in the middle of a harrowing experience. "You wouldn't leave me." Jane finishes, finally looking up at Maura with wet eyes, "Not when you could barely keep your eyes open, or when wearing yesterday's dress was bothering you every time you moved, not even when I went for coffee with that fed, Agent Dean. Do you know why I was so scared?"
"Because a serial killer was out to get you, yet again?" Maura hypothesised, to her the question didn't need to be asked. Jane's fear was natural, expected, human. "Because your life was in danger and that monster had beaten you before? Because he threatened your safety, your mind, your job, and your life?"
Jane unwillingly recalls the moment it happened; the hard gravel ground of the basement under her and Hoyt leaning over her, trailing the scalpel down her jaw gently so as not to break her skin before slamming it through her hand. She had screamed, knew it was exactly what he wanted her to do, and she hated the look of satisfaction it gave him, trying her best to breathe through the excruciating pain and not give him any further pleasure. Part of her mind taunting her that she wasn't tied down, if she could just move but she wasn't able to maintain consciousness.
Jane remembered being in hospital and refusing to eat, refusing to be helped with her activities of daily living, refusing to let Korsak speak to her or see her. She fought the nurses when they tried to assist her and she resisted her mother's tears when she begged to let her help. Jane fought to not be seen as a victim as much she fought her trembling, damaged hands for control. She could hear the nurses at their station as they complained about how difficult she was, sending a student to deal with her instead and then becoming angry when she was able to get Jane to behave.
"Jane?" The student had called, struggling to knock on the door and hold the food tray as well.
"Enter." Jane replied, tone even and dull.
"I'm Alex," The young woman introduces herself as she places the tray on the table, "I'm here to assist you with breakfast this morning, I'm a student on industry placement with the hospital for a few weeks."
"Assist with a meal is just a diplomatic way of saying 'feed me'." Jane growls, glaring at her bandaged hands and then at the nurse in training.
Alex pulls up the guest chair and starts to prepare a bowl of cereal, undeterred, "It must be difficult," she starts, holding up the sugar packets and silently asking if Jane wants them in her breakfast, "one day you're independent, in charge of your life and serving your city and then suddenly someone is sitting next to you trying to spoon feed you. I imagine it must feel quite humiliating and degrading."
"I can feed myself." Jane defends, hoping that she can intimitade this young woman to leave her alone, "Try anything and our places will be reversed."
"Oh I know you can, I'm not here to judge you or do things for you that you're capable of doing," Alex says, pushing the bowl of soaking cereal towards her with a spoon. "I'm here only if you need me." She leans back in the chair, picking up the magazine from the table and rifling through it. "Just say the word and until then, pretend like I'm not even here."
Jane closes her eyes against the onslaught of memories and tries to visualise a better time; running through a park, going to Fenway with her father as a child, teasing Frankie about his crushes, following Maura to high class events at art galleries where people spend more money on alcohol than she makes in a week. Her hand gravitates to her gun, running her fingers over the detail in the grip and reassuring her that she is safe. It's a strategy she learned in the mandatory therapy sessions following her abduction and she uses it to ground herself, reminding herself of where she is now and that she is safe.
Maura waits patiently as the second tick by slowly, watching Jane closely.
When Jane does speak, remembering why she's reliving it all again, defensive sarcasm slips in momentarily. "Because Hoyt always went after couples before he decided that I was the big challenge he needed to conquer, and we know serial killers develop patterns, habits, a ritual, and I was afraid that in the absence of a husband for him to go after that he would take the next closest thing as a substitute and force me to watch them be raped and murdered."
"Me?" Maura questions, fairly certain of the answer based upon Jane's behaviour and the direction of conversation.
"You." Jane's voice cracks and she stops herself from saying anything further that would let the emotions out, but then decides that Maura is worth it and it will be beneficial for her to hear, "That is what I kept seeing if I managed to fall asleep. If it wasn't my own death then it was situations where I had failed to protect you and it was worse than being awake with Hoyt after me. You confided in me at the time you felt neglected in your childhood, that you didn't know how to ask for things and I won't repeat your parents mistakes, okay? I won't neglect you and I won't leave you when you need me most, just like you didn't leave me then."
The significance of Jane talking about her experience with Hoyt is not lost on Maura, she understands the parallels Jane is drawing between her past experiences and now, and she is relieved that Jane is opening up to talk to her and explain her motives but she has to point out the differences too.
"You're not leaving me Jane, and you have never neglected me. What I need from you now though, is for you to be honest with me and allow me some space when I ask for it. I love you Jane, but for us to work we need to have open communication and boundaries. Sneaking in every night is not respecting my boundaries or healthy for you."
Jane sniffs again, trying to keep at bay the emotions and memories she's dug up and starting to regret having brought them up at all, "I need to do this Maura. I need to know that you're safe and until we know who we can trust, I need to do this myself."
"Do you remember the word you used to describe the behaviour your brother and I were exhibiting when we tried to look after you with Hoyt?"
"No?"
"Hovering."
"And even with all that hovering, even with my brother in my apartment, and cops patrolling my floor-" Jane starts to defend, getting riled up.
"I remember." Maura interrupts, closing her eyes against her own tears briefly, "And what I didn't tell you was that I felt guilty-"
"And I didn't tell you that I broke it off with Agent Dean because I wasn't ready for someone to care about me like that." Jane counters in the heat of the moment and then drops the anger from her tone, knowing it won't help either of them, "Somehow… somehow you slipped through the cracks and even though you were doing the exact same thing, I didn't notice, or care. One of the two… Or, both. And now I feel guilty because I should have known sooner and I should have-"
"You're not psychic Jane, you couldn't have seen this coming and this is not your fault."
"You're using my words against me?" Jane questions, recognising them as the same ones she said to Maura after she had expressed her frustration that she hadn't been there, or seen the connection, or stopped them from getting hurt.
"Yes."
"I'm surprised you remember that."
"I remember everything Jane." Maura answers simply, waiting for Jane's response as she watches her struggle through her thoughts, but none comes. Licking her lips and running out of thought out points to say, she returns to her mug and pours in the water despite knowing it is too hot for the leaves.
Quietly Maura's been grappling with an idea that might just ease things for the both of them and their latest conversation makes her turn back to it. She idly steeps her tea while reflecting on her volatile state, for as much as she desperately wants things to go back to normal, she knows they aren't. Maura knows that while she asks Jane for space, she also clings to the detective and the comfort she provides, contradicting and frustrating herself.
Perhaps I'm pushing myself too hard and by extension pushing Jane too hard for 'normal'. But if Jane is already going to these extreme preventative measures on her own, then how would she act in response if I told her absolutely everything? She's already so overwhelmed, overworked, over worried and bordering on paranoid, I fear that if I were to lean on her any more I might just break her. This whole ordeal has been just as hard for her and it's clear now that it's bringing up unresolved issues. I'm in no state right now to be able to support her when I am just barely functioning myself. I should see if perhaps I can arrange an earlier appointment with Melanie, she may have some advice.
I wish Jane wouldn't be so stubborn about her pride, I'm not equipped to help her but maybe if I indulge her needs she can let her guard down and relax. Perhaps if I can show her that I'm okay-even though I'm not, she will calm down. There is a pattern repeating itself here and that pattern is Jane coming over when she's scared. It's helped in the passed, maybe if I...
"Jane." Maura calls in question.
"Yeah?"
"Mm, no, nevermind." Maura tries to backout, hoping to think on it some more when it is not three am and the dark of the night persuades her to make emotionally charged decisions.
Jane sits up from the bench that she had started dozing on, raising her head from her arms to look to look at Maura, "No, what is it?"
"It's nothing." Maura assures with a small smile and a dismissing wave, placing her tea and taking a seat next to her.
Jane, ever the detective, doesn't quite believe it. There's something in the way Maura smiles that does not seem sincere, perhaps even hiding something she does not want to lie about, "Are you sure? Looks like something."
Maura does not answer right away, taking a moment to gather her thoughts with lowered eyes before asking, "I was just thinking that maybe I'm going about this backwards, maybe, we should break this cycle between us and you would sleep better if you stayed here? Maybe if instead of pushing you away, I should let you in, show you that we have nothing to fear now. I know that you've said you don't want to live with your mother but, maybe if you were to move in you wouldn't have to worry so much and it would ease this tension between us." Her shoulders raise in unconscious fear of rejection, hands held tightly in front of her as she voices the thoughts she's been grappling with since they first occurred to her a week ago. "And I know that back then, when everything was going on with Hoyt, it was very beneficial for me that you let me stay at your place and that you felt safe enough with me that you could rest. My point being that I can empathise with what you're feeling and hope to return that favour."
Jane knows her answer, it does not take even two seconds for all of her thoughts to come together and agree to the same solution, but she stalls as she stands up so she can comfort Maura, hands on her shoulders and looking softly into her eyes, "I'd like that." she says gently, "Even with my mother ten feet away."
Maura deflates with a relieved breath, surprised to realise how tense she had been until she no longer was, "I think this will be good for us both. I can help you bring things over from Frankie's?" she offers.
"That's okay, I don't really have that much. I can pack it into my car before work and bring it around when shift is over, just some clothes and stuff."
"Are you sure? I can go to the store on my lunch break and get a few things if you need something?"
"Thanks, but I'm fine Maura." Jane smiles, casually rubbing her arms, "Now can we please go to your bed? It's so much more comfortable than your couch."
"That's because the couch isn't designed to be slept on whereas the bed was created specifically for optimal sleep based off the results from scientific studies into rest and chronic back pain."
"Hey, Google," Jane teases, picking up Maura's tea, "just take me to bed already."
"Oh, right." Maura picks up her journal from the bench and starts to lead the way to her bedroom, turning around while she's halfway up the stairs, "Oh I get it, it's a double entendre! Cos we're dating now and you're implying that I engage you in sexual intercourse."
Jane laughs gently at her nerd of a partner, shaking her head slightly and following her up the stairs, "Yes Maura, it was a pun. God, never change." a moment of peace settles over Jane, relieved that Maura will let her be close. She places the tea on the nightstand on Maura's side of the bed and intercepts her before she can slide in, pulling her into a hug, "Thank you."
"I think we both need this." Maura whispers, holding onto Jane tightly, grounding herself in the moment by focusing on her senses. She closes her eyes, drawing her attention to Jane's strong arms around her, holding her so close that Maura can feel every movement of her respiratory system at work and she tries to sync their breath cycles. She's aware of Jane's hands on her back, the warmth radiating from them and heating her skin through the material of her pajamas. Maura notes that she can calculate Jane's heart rate, her abdominal aorta pulsing against her and she counts the beats, find herself calm as she does.
76 beats per minute, normal for a fit and standing female.
"Thank you." Maura whispers, drawing back and tenderly kissing Jane's cheek and then her lips, lingering with her hand on Jane's jaw until she takes it in hers, kissing her knuckles.
"C'mon, get some sleep." Jane says softly, struggling internally with Maura's soft gestures and suddenly feeling inadequate and undeserving of them.
Opposites. She's like my complete opposite. Maura's gentle, I'm rough, she's feminine, I'm strong, scientifically gifted to my street smarts, introvert vs extrovert, brain to brawn, patient, impatient, tomboy, girly girl-
Maura pauses a beat, studying Jane's expression before she eventually nods and starts to unbutton her shirt, snapping Jane from her thoughts. Jane rounds the bed and pulls back the covers, trying to shake herself out of her current mental zone. Maura slides into the bed and watches over her shoulder as Jane strips down to her underwear, places her holstered firearm on the nightstand and climbs in beside her, pulling her close.
"I forgot you sleep naked." Jane mumbles upon the discovery of bare skin.
"Particularly in summer but I've found it rather enjoyable. As I told you before, it helps to lower body temperature."
"I hate the cold."
"Unfortunately for you the idea that someone suffering hypothermia would benefit from being naked with another person, isn't entirely true. The problem is that the external heat that would be provided by another body can reduce shivering. Shivering is an important self regulation that warms the body more effectively than mild external heating. However, it's not clear to me that external heat, including body heat from another, will cause harm. It may be that it doesn't help as much as we might think it would."
"What did I do deserve this?" Jane whispers, the sudden change in topic catching Maura off guard.
"You didn't do anything Jane," Maura assures, turning around in Jane's arms to face her, "none of what is happening and has happened is your fault."
"I meant you, what did I do to deserve you? I don't deserve you- wha- why-"
"Jane, you don't get to decide who I deserve or who I choose to be with but regardless I pick you."
"Why?"
Maura takes a deep breath, equally surprised by Jane's insecurity and her display of it. Why indeed. Why does one fall in love, what is it that ultimately draws a person in, how do people become so entwined with another person that they can no longer continue alone?
"Because you're my best friend."
"That's it? So if Frankie was your best friend you'd be sleeping with him right now?"
"No, I think if I didn't have you I'd be rather alone. It's no secret that I've never had a friend like you before, and I've always been open to the idea of dating a woman. I think we compliment each other very well and I'm very grateful for your friendship and devotion to me over the years. No one has stuck by me, looked out for me, protected me or defended me before in the ways you have… I think it's perfectly natural that our relationship has evolved this way, especially when you take into consideration all that we've been through together."
"You're too good for me Maur." Jane confesses. "And I'm not that good, I didn't stop you from being taken with Harris, or Paddy or-"
Maura stops her doubts, pressing two fingers to her lips, "Shhhh," she risks, knowing the detective hates to be shushed. Her mother shushes. "Would you like me to tell you all the times you have either saved my life, limbs, or otherwise rescued me in date order, by category, or wound type? And if by wound type, shall I start with physical or emotional?"
"No, none of the above, because I'm not a hero."
"You are to me."
"I- no, Maura, I'm just me and you know I don't like it when people call me that. A hero wouldn't have let these sorts of things happen in the first place, a hero would protect his family."
"The hero did protect her family."
"No, I didn't I-"
"I'm here aren't I? What do I need to say or do to convince you?" Maura sits up, letting the sheets fall from her body and moving atop Jane. "I'm here, I'm real, this is real, and I don't want anybody else. No one compares to how you make me feel."
Jane's hands come to rest on Maura's thighs and she stares her, baring her emotional struggle for her to see, "Maura I love you but if you're trying to seduce me, now is not a good time."
"What?" Maura asks, misinterpreting the meaning behind her actions, "Oh, no Jane I wasn't trying to engage you in sexual intercourse- I suppose I ought to have considered my state of undress-" Maura slides down under the covers, half lying on Jane and resting her head on her chest, "I meant it as a sign of open and complete trust." she explains, slipping her hand under Jane's shirt to rest on her stomach.
Jane naturally holds Maura close and places her hand on top of Maura's, both keeping it still and sharing in her affection, "Maura." Jane warns tiredly, closing her eyes.
"Why, are you aroused?"
"That sounds like a trick question." Jane mumbles, "You're absolutely gorgeous Babe but I'm pouring my heart out here, so, no."
"Skin to skin contact improves physiologic stability in newborns-" Maura starts to explain her actions.
"-I'm not a baby." Jane interrupts tiredly.
"It works in adults too." Maura continues, "It's been proven that touching someone, or cuddling, releases dopamine and serotonin which can both boost ones mood and help curb depression."
"So I'm your anti depressant drug now?"
"That's one way to look at it I suppose. Being close to you like this I can feel the release of oxytocin which is in turn lowering my cortisol levels. This has many health benefits including decreased anxiety, reducing high blood pressure, restoration of immune response-"
"Sshhhhh," Jane whispers, stroking her hair and barely maintaining consciousness. "Okay maybe a little bit."
"A little bit what?"
"Mmm." Jane doesn't want to talk anymore, sleep pulling her away, so she moves Maura's hand up a fraction by means of an answer.
"Oh." Maura catches on, "That's your orbital frontal cortex responding to the Pacinian corpuscles' signals received by the vagus nerve from the pressure stimulation of our physical contact. I'm glad you respond to my physical proximity and touch in this way, did you know that it promotes happier, healthier and stronger relationships?"
Had Jane been awake she would have asked for Maura to repeat her sentence in layman's english but she no longer heard the sounds of Maura's sweet voice, her gentle and soothing ministrations having ceased when her conscious mind shut off.
Maura looked up at Jane to confirm her hypothesis, watching her relaxed features for a few quiet seconds before settling down again, glad that Jane was able to sleep even if she wasn't able to herself just yet. Closing her eyes she focused on the gentle thump of pulsing veins, the rhythmic rise and fall of Jane's lungs, the warmth of her body and the weight of Jane's hand on hers. Comforted and feeling safe, Maura relaxes and waits for sleep to claim her too.
So uh, I originally hadn't planned to add anything else to this story but then I kinda went through a personal apocalypse, had my entire life uprooted, almost died, and it was a whole drama, but you guys kept messaging me about it so here we are. Four months later?
Can't promise there will be any more but your persistance and my feels paid off for this one to come through :P