I apologize for all the grammatical errors you will see in the following chapters. This chapter and the remaining chapters have not been proofed by a Beta. The errors were not due to lack of trying just the lack of smarts. I am still working on how to fix that.
Chapter 4
The next day at Merlotte's was rather slow, so I had extra time to help Sam organize our back storage room. He was very upbeat and told me about his new girlfriend. Apparently, they met while he was shopping at a restaurant supply store. On their first date, she took him to a Salsa club that had just opened in Shreveport. The live music was fabulous, and she taught him how to Salsa dance. He said several times how much fun they had.
I immediately wanted to go. Learning to Salsa dance would have been so much fun! The thought of double dating crossed my mind, but I immediately dismissed the idea. Would Eric approve of me mamboing my posterior around a dance floor? Would he enjoy spending an evening with Sam? As I contemplated Eric's reactions, a thought started to form in my head. I steadied myself, and waited for it to hit. Bam; a 1000-year-old vampire was probably not great boyfriend material. Okay, no great revelation there, but why was I considering it at this late date?
As I wrapped up my chores, I wondered what would be the best way to ask the Pixies if they would go to New Orleans and meet Victor. I needed to act quickly, because we were scheduled to be in New Orleans soon. There was no Salsa music at my house, but maybe a little Pixie party was in order. I searched through Sam's micro-brews looking for mead but found nothing. How would a shot of rum in a Dr. Pepper taste? Fortunately, I came to my senses and changed my mind. I must have been desperate to consider giving alcohol to Pixies.
After work I swung by a little pizzeria that had opened in Bill's shopping center. No frozen pizzas for this party; I splurged and ordered two large uncooked "Mega Meaty Meat" pizzas. On a sudden impulse, I stopped at the Wal-Mart and grabbed a box of cupcakes with extra sprinkles. My plan had three parts: Stuff the little toots silly, followed quickly by begging them to go to New Orleans to hear Victor's proposal. There was not really a third part, unless you consider all the praying I will be doing.
The part about Victor's proposition worried me. I noticed while speaking to Victor, that he sort of skipped the part where he asks the Pixies if they are willing to participate. He had told Eric and me that it would happen, so there was no need for further discussion. I had no delusions that I could force the Ironwood clan to do something they didn't want to do. If they said no, then Victor would just have to get-over-it. If Tall Oak informs Victor that he can stick his Magical Pixie Land in his stinking blood-hole, it might be a good time to take an extended vacation in Mexico. I have never been to Mexico before. I bet they have great music down there. Male Latinos were known for preferring their women to be full figured and blond. I should fit right in. Maybe I could get a job at a fabulous tropical beach resort. It occurred to me that tanning on a tropical beach had been in my thoughts a lot lately. There seemed to be a pattern, the more stressed I was, the more I daydreamed about sun tanning. Were sun-induced endorphins my favorite form of escapism, or was it some sort of Sky Fae thing?
When I got home, I turned on Gran's old kitchen radio to a Latino station and danced around the kitchen. I don't think the station was actually Salsa music. It sounded like Mexican brass band playing polka music. But it lightened my mood, and I had fun. As I placed the pizza in the oven, I enjoyed a few daydreams of my new exciting life in an exotic tropical paradise. I practiced all twelve Spanish words that I knew, followed by a few new Spanish names for me. A new life would require a new name. I decided on the name, Carmen.
Junior was watching me as I danced, but mostly he was staring at the Mega Meaty Meat Pizza. I set the timer above the oven, and informed him his name would be changed to Juan. He gave me a scowling look, turned with his tail held high, and indignantly walked out of the kitchen. I felt a mind tickle; he had just refused to go to Mexico. Wait a minute, how does a strange hybrid cat know anything about Mexico?
Grit's loud tapping on my kitchen window interrupted my tropical paradise fantasy. She was grinning ear to ear, and waving at me enthusiastically. I stepped outside, and invited her and her entire clan to come eat dinner. Pizza was on the menu. Her eyes got big, and she opened her mouth as if to say something, but was cut off when she vanished. I guess that meant okay.
The timer went off, and I pulled the hot pizza out of the oven. I took it outside and placed it on the picnic table. The Pixies were arriving quickly now. The Dr. Pepper was poured into numerous small Dixie cups to avoid conflicts. Grinslade appeared on the picnic table, as I was cutting the pizza. He was dressed in several layers of clothing. It looked as though he tried to wear every piece of clothing he owned; maybe he had.
"Suckie, why are you feeding us? What is the reason?"
"I thought you would enjoy it." That was the truth.
"Hey y'all, there's plenty for everyone, so I don't want to see any fighting. There is a second pizza in the oven, and it will be ready soon. Here's more Dr. Pepper."
As I was cutting the pizza into tiny bite sizes, I spotted an older child stealing the pizza from a toddler. "Hey, you! Yes, you with that fuzzy yellow thing on your head. Is that a fishing lure? If you don't let the children eat there will be no second pizza or dessert for anyone."
Tall Oak appeared beside the youth, and gave him a hard thump on top of the head with his fist.
"Stop stealing and fighting or I will hit you so hard you will have to pull down your pants to talk."
Tall Oak snatched the pizza out of the youth's hands, and shoved it into his own mouth while ignoring the crying Pixie child. He disappeared and reappeared next to me. He picked up some pizza that had a big chunk of meat on top. He managed to stuff the entire thing in his mouth. "Airy ooood."
"Don't speak with your mouth full. It's gross, and I can't understand you."
After much chewing, he continued. "I said, very good and such a surprise. What might be the reason for this unexpected generosity?"
"Have some more pizza, Tall Oak. Oh, look. Here's a really big greasy pepperoni."
The Pixies looked like piranhas tearing into the first pizza, and the second pizza was consumed almost as fast. Once there were only crust bones left, I brought out the cupcakes. The Pixies had never seen colorful sprinkles on top of a dessert before; they were impressed. The children tried to save the sprinkles and decorated their faces with them. I figured different favors of cupcakes would cause a brawl. Therefore, all the cupcakes were vanilla with white icing. Once they had consumed the cupcakes, and were licking the sticky icing off the lid of the box, it was time for me to deliver my sales pitch.
"Hey y'all, listen up. You know Eric, my boyfriend. Well, he has a boss who would like to speak to you about the possibility of working for him. He has some great ideas about how to make a lot of money. Money is currency that will allow you to buy pizza and fizzy drink."
Tall Oak appeared next to me, "Suckie, we understand what currency is. Why should we work for a vampire or anybody else for that matter?" He spat off the picnic table. "We are an independent people. I come from a hundred generations of noble warriors and hunters."
"That's a good question which only Eric's boss, Victor can answer. This is a different world than where y'all come from. I'm sure you want your children to have all the food and comforts that other folks have. All I ask is that you go to New Orleans, which is about a day's drive from here, and listen to Victor's offer about working for him. And please keep an open mind."
"Open mind? I prefer my mind to be enclosed by scull bone. I would rather not have it opened."
"Tall Oak, just try to be receptive to new ideas."
"But of course. (Belch) Mother?"
Slender Willow had her sturdy little body sprawled out on the greasy pizza tray. She picked her teeth while watching a couple of kids joust with the crust leftovers.
"Shall we be fed, or must we fend for ourselves?"
"I'm sure all meals will be furnished."
"That sounds reasonable." She nodded at Tall Oak, and returned to picking her teeth. He casually stated, "It shall be." He turned his head and spat and stomped his foot.
That surprised me. I thought we were going to have a long drawn out discussion. I even had ice cream in the freezer just in case they started to leave before I was finished giving them my pitch.
"Okay, great. I'll tell Eric."
Tall Oak spoke up. "Since we will be traveling in a large mechanical carriage, we shall need traveling supplies to make our stay more comfortable. It's for the women and children."
That threw me. "Traveling? Yes, I guess we'll be taking a vehicle. I hadn't thought about it. Will you be taking all the clan members including the children with you?"
"Oh yes, everyone must hear the proposition first hand. We shall all attend."
"Okay. What kind of traveling supplies do you need?"
"We have many requirements in order to travel comfortably. I have written down a list of items. Please, give this list to the vampire, Eric."
I looked at the tiny note, but I could not read it. It was written in a different language. It appeared to be a list with numbers. I was baffled. When did he write this? Since when did they have lots of special needs in order to travel? I shook my head. If these guys do become famous, they will be insufferable divas.
The next day, I told Sam that Eric and I would be going out of town. Fortunately, I had a break in my shift. If everything goes smoothly, we would be back before I inconvenienced Sam. He agreed to feed Junior while I was gone. He commented that he had wanted to meet my new cat. Coming from anyone other than a shape shifter, that was just a polite comment. I wondered if he would roam the woods together.
I did not feel comfortable telling Sam why Eric and I were going to New Orleans. I know he would not have approved. Since I had gotten tight with Eric, I felt like my friendship with Sam was becoming more distant. I hated that.
Eric made no mention of reimbursement for my lost wages, and did not tell me to purchase any new clothing for the event. I would just have to get by with what was in my closet. I figured why buy new clothing when this meeting would be brief and bound to fail. Earlier, I tried to talk to Eric about what we were going to do if the Pixies refused, but he never answered my questions.
The morning of our departure quickly arrived. Bobby Burnham, showed up with a full sized van to drive us down to New Orleans. Eric had already left the previous night. Bobby had to shift several trunks and large boxes of "Pixie paraphernalia" to make room for my suitcase. I could not imagine what they needed that was so heavy and taking up so much space. Bobby opened one of the boxes, and pulled out large soft pillows to line the van seats for the clan to sit on. I was about to comment on what happens when you give the True People an inch when I spotted a few whispering and eyeing Bobby. I snapped my fingers and gave the conspiring group a stern, "No." They just gave me innocent and confused looks.
Surprisingly, Bobby was not shocked to see Pixies. Nor did he give me his usual snippy attitude, or bombard me with his negative crap. He mostly thought about what an important mission he was on, and how honored he was to be selected for it. Mmm, weird. He was not on the NASA space flight; he was fluffing pillows for 6-inch beings. He should have a different reaction than that. He unwrapped a couple of Moon Pies, popped open a Big Red soda without a single thought about how bizarre his situation was. I rummaged around in his head, and sensed that he had been glamoured. He stopped working for a moment and glanced up at me. He hit me with a thought. Gosh, she's almost as beautiful as Pam, but not as smart. I hope Pam found her traveling accommodations satisfactory.
Oh yea, he had been glamoured, a bunch. It was not hard to figure who had glamoured him. At one time, that would have upset me. I would have snatched up my cell phone and left a few indignant voice mails on Eric and Pam's voice mail. But now, I can see how a little mind alteration might actually improve Bobby's quality of life, and it certainly helps mine.
As we hit the interstate, the Pixies devoured their Moon Pies, and drank Big Red until they all had red mustaches up to the eyebrows. Watching them eat was kind of gross, but mostly it was amazing. How could such tiny beings consume such huge quantities of food was beyond me. They followed their junk food binge with a nap. While they dozed, I was able to examine the little troop closer.
There were 23 adults and teens, and 9 kids. I noticed Grit was missing and there were no babies, so some of the Pixies stayed home.
Their clothing had evolved since arriving in Bon Temps. There were no more beat up grass hula skirts. They now wore pants, long shorts, kilts/skirts, and topped with tunics or vests. Men and women seemed to be dressed the same. They all wore moccasin style shoes or boots. The leathers and fabrics were a colorful hodgepodge. They also incorporated plastics, and colored string into their attires. They seemed to be copying the styles of human clothing only with their own strange fashion twist. Give them a few years, and Tall Oak will be wearing a pinstriped suit or a sundress.
The trip was amazingly calm considering the group. The children mostly played games on the floorboard and van seats while the adults napped or talked quietly amongst themselves. They helped me learn their names, but I was a failure at reciting all their family ties to each other.
I watched the children play, but I never figured out their game. One game seemed to morph into another, and the rules constantly changed. Their play toys looked like stuff you would find in most junk drawers. They were using the clutter as weapons, obstacles, and trophies. A few of the adults would occasionally join in the games, and instructed the children on the finer points. If a child had a melt down, or the play got out of hand, one of the adults appeared and knocked heads. They would referee until the children returned to proper mayhem.
We finally arrived to New Orleans and checked into our hotel that night. We were staying on one of the human floors of the hotel, and the Pixies were in a room that adjoined mine. Bobby rolled their heavy trunk into their room, as I instructed them to knock on the door between the rooms if they needed me. As I was walking out of their room I heard a glass break, but I kept walking. I did not even get my suitcase opened when my cell phone rang; it was Eric. Victor wanted to see the Pixies immediately. I was to gather the group together, and take them to the exclusive vampire suite on the top floor.
There was no time for me to change clothes. I knocked on the Pixies' door, and told them to get ready that we would have to meet Victor in ten minutes. I rushed back to my room, brushed my teeth, and powdered my nose. When I stepped back into the Pixie's room, their change in appearance surprised me. About half of them were in their old raggedy hula skirts. They had newspaper ponchos and scraps of trash as clothing. They looked more comical than when I met them the first time in the wastelands of the Fae world.
"Tall Oak, you have better clothes. Why are y'all dressed that way? We're going to go see Victor, Eric's boss. I thought you would want to umm… dress up a bit more."
"We think our native clothing is nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, our wondrous talents will shine through no matter the garb. Come now Suckie, let us go meet the stinking dead who walk."
I dropped down to my fours, and looked at him in the eyes. "Tall Oak, I don't know what you have up your sleeve, but you'd better stop. You're gonna get us in a lot of trouble if you piss him off."
He flapped his bare arms at me. "I have no sleeves silly hugeman. Let us not keep the big dead man waiting. We don't want him to piss himself." The group giggled and whispered. My stress level jumped even higher.
We took the elevator to the top floor, and the Pixies really enjoyed the ride. The children were excited and chittered nonstop. Several of the kids were singing little songs and dancing. A vampire working security greeted us as we stepped off the elevator. He looked like a classic security guard, dark suit, dark glasses, and radio earpiece in his ear.
He looked down at the Pixies and chuckled. "Wow, I can't believe they're real! That's amazing. They're so little and funny looking."
Grinslade who had been mostly quiet and sullen through the trip spoke up. "Of course, we are real; you putrid piece of maggotity meat. Shall I cut your stinking tongue out, and shove it up your nose to convince you?"
Tall Oak stepped out of the group. "Excuse him, sir. He has had little exposure to this world. We are indeed real. See?"
He jumped up and landed on the Grinslade's shoulders. The vampire laughed, and turned to speak into his radio. "Hey Arty, they're here. Get this, they're real!"
The radio responded, "Well, bring them to us. Victor said to escort them in immediately."
Fortunately, the vampire was not looking down as Grinslade knocked Tall Oak to the ground. Three Pixies fell on Grinslade punching him. I stepped in front of the tiny brawlers, as the guard escorted us down the hallway.
"Wow, they are really small and cute. We heard that Pixies existed, but I didn't believe it. I thought they would be dwarfs."
"Yes, isn't it great?" I smiled big trying to keep his attention, so he would not notice some of the residual punching and shoving.
The vampire guard who was standing in front of the door must've been Arty. He looked down at the Pixies and looked stunned. He did not say a word. He knocked on the door, and then opened the double doors wide for us. Tall Oak motioned for me to stand back. The entire group ran and tumbled through the doors. Some of them turned cartwheels or flips. Others scurried up and down the furniture like rats on speed. They were a mass of tiny tornadoes.
There was a group of vampires sitting in the large plush living room. They stopped their conversations and stared at the Pixies doing acrobatics. They froze and looked positively shocked.
The Pixie children ran up to the closest female vampire and sang their greetings, and somersaulted to the tip of her shoes. The vampire had a frown on her face, and a very serious air about her. She looked like she had not smiled in over a century. When one of the smallest Pixies tried to bow, but fell over his feet onto her shoe, she broke into a big buck-toothed grin.
"Amazing! They're real! Victor you are going to be one rich son-of-a-bitch. Humans are going to go wild for them. Actually, I would like to own one myself. It would be great entertainment for a party."
Tall Oak and the rest of his clan bowed. I scanned the group of vampires, and found Eric and Pam sitting in the corner of the room. Eric's face was unreadable; he only glanced at me before returning his gaze to the other vampires. Pam waved at me, and gave me a big smile. But it was not an "I'm so happy" smile; it was kind of a creepy disturbing smile.
Victor squatted down to look closer at the troop. He breathed in their smell and stood up. "Yes, these creatures are definitely from the Fae world. Do they have any magical powers or abilities?"
Eric responded, "Unfortunately, their magic is negligible in our world. But they have extraordinary physical abilities for creatures their size. They can perform amazing acrobatics and tricks."
Victor stood as Tall Oak scrambled up a nearby table. They made their introductions, though Victor did not bother to introduce anyone else in the room. He briefly spoke to Tall Oak, but he spoke to him as if he was a child. He turned and started addressing all his comments to Eric, as though the Pixies were not there. Victor wanted to show them to a group of investors and banking officials. He looked over the motley hula looking group.
"We are going to need better costumes than this." He snapped his fingers at the vampire who opened the doors.
"Arty, we need new costumes. Make sure all the pixies have great costumes. They must be flashy and fantasy oriented. None of this grass skirt crap. This show is about Magical Pixie Land not a fucking Luau.
"Also, it will be hilarious if a couple of Pixies ride on the back of a pig. Like the pig, we saw in the photo only much cuter. Stan, you are to find them some cute pigs." I wondered how someone shops for "cute" pigs.
Victor continued his brainstorming. "Maybe someone can lead the pig around while the Pixies do tricks on its back."
As he blathered on, I noticed that the discussion where Victor asks Tall Oak if he and his clan might be interested in working for him never happened. I looked at the Pixies' faces, but they were bland. They had their arms crossed as they listened to plans being made without their involvement. Only Grinslade was red faced and appeared livid.
As Victor wrapped up the meeting, Tall Oak spoke up. Victor turned back around to look at him. "Sir, we shall have a much smarter routine choreographed by tomorrow. We can also sing. It will be a memorable event for one and all."
"Great. Eric, make sure they have whatever they need to pull off a great show. Arty and my people are at your disposal. These little guys are better than I expected. I need to leave to meet with marketing consultants. I also have an appointment with real estate agents to look at some land that would make a great amusement park."
He looked back down at the clan. "See you little fellows tomorrow! Make me proud!"
Victor snapped his fingers that ended in a finger gun pointing at the Pixies. The entire clan made the same motion back at him, which made the vampires laugh. Grinslade was standing away from the group scowling. He made a raspberry sound followed by a gesture that was unmistakable in any language.
Pam stood and spoke to Victor, while Eric quickly herded us out of the room, down the hall, and into the waiting elevator. The Pixie adults were quiet in the elevator while the children chittered. One Pixie child began to skip around in a circle and sang a song.
"Victor was a rotten old cod.
He stank like a dead man's rod.
He fell into a hole
And was impaled by a pole
And now he's an ashy cabob."
I looked down at the little performer. He had such an innocent sweet face, as he continued to skip and dance around the elevator.
"Where did you hear that?"
"I just made it up. Do you want to hear another?"
"Nope."
"There once was a girl named Sookie.
With a big vamp she liked to nookie.
As she said with a grin.."
Slender Willow snatched up the tot by the arm, and swatted him on his backside. She scolded the little Pixie. "I told you that I am tired of that song. If you can't come up with a new Sookie song then shut it."
I hit the elevator button a couple more times, trying to speed up the elevator. I got a glimpse of Eric's expression as we walked out of the elevator. At least he was having a good time.
Once we were back in the Pixie's room, they all started talking at once. I shushed everyone and picked up the telephone looking under it for anything that appeared suspicious. The Pixies immediately caught on and spread out to help search the rooms.
I was peering under an end table when to my surprise I spotted Grit. She was crouched down and hiding. Her face lit up when she saw me. She grinned and put her finger to her lips. I wondered what she was doing, but decided to humor her and stayed quiet.
The Pixies gave Eric three electronic bugs, a dismantled alarm clock, and a trashed coffee maker. Eric talked into the bugs saying the normal stuff about getting ready for a show. He turned on the TV in the living room, and placed the bugs next to it. We left the noisy Pixie children playing in the living room while the rest of us went into the bedroom.
Eric sat down on the bed and loosened his tie. "As you probably guessed Sookie, Tall Oak knew what to expect from Victor, and understood that his options were limited."
A female Pixie standing on a television chimed in, "The vampire is not the first to think small size means small intelligence. To him we are nothing more than childish toys, and only good for amusement. The filth..."
Slender Willow cut in. "Many a Pixie has spent their miserable lives entertaining the Fae High Court, but none were from the Ironwood Clan."
Grinslade was punching his fist into his hand. "And many a Fae has regretted underestimating the True People of the Trees." He spat on the floor.
Tall Oak was standing on the bed; I squatted down on the floor to address him. "Okay, I gather the speech you made to Victor was a farce. You don't intend to become performers."
Tall Oak pulled off his newspaper poncho. "Not while I breathe." He spat on the bed. I made a mental note to talk to them about the spitting. He continued, "We shall play the vampire's game judiciously. If we learn there are Pixies in Ireland, we shall quietly disappear. But only once you are no longer part of the venture."
"If you were to disappear, I'm not so sure Victor will give up on his Magical Pixie Land so quickly. Gosh Tall Oak, I cannot believe you are so calm and rational about such a dilemma. I figured you would come out fighting."
Slender Willow appeared next to Tall Oak. "We have not lived this long under the filthy Fae by always fighting. We had to use our heads too. Sometimes quietly disappearing was our only option. We shall leave when the time is right."
Tall Oak took her hand in his and kissed it. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He had a sad look on his face.
"Eric, they will be okay won't they?"
Eric nodded. "Oh yes, they are very valuable to Victor right now. He will not hurt them. I told him that the Pixies are looking forward to this new business opportunity.
"Sookie, I have several matters that I have to attend to and must leave. It is late, and you must be tired from all your travel."
Eric and I left the Pixies whispering amongst themselves. Eric walked me to my hotel door and kissed me. Before he disappeared, he said to enjoy myself at the hotel tomorrow. Everything was on the house, compliments of Victor.
Sweet! I knew just what I wanted to do.