A Supernatural Quickie: Chapter 4;
Dean moaned and struggled in his sleep, twisting and turning in the sheets while Castiel sat on the edge of the bed and watched him. He wished this could be easier for Dean, that he would find the faith that he needed to survive what was coming…but Dean Winchester wasn't an ordinary case. He'd had all purity and faith burned out of him the night his mother died, all traces slowly scatted to the winds like ash over the years as he watched his father fight and struggle and die. There had been no God to help him then, no one to comfort him in the dark and help him remember the light. That was why this was going to be so painful for him, Cas thought…why he'd tried to spare him this if he could. But it was what also was going to make Dean Winchester the warrior they were going to need in the coming months.
Dean made a small noise of helplessness, a last desperate plea to wake up but the silence of the night swallowed it. Sam slept peacefully, not four feet away but nothing would disturb him this night. Not while Castiel kept his silent vigil.
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"Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Deeaaan…Happy birthday to you" The off key tones filled the air, seeming to bounce off the brightly coloured balloons that were tied to nearly every surface in Sam's backyard. Sunshine drifted down through the tree leaves, making the afternoon almost too bright, but not even that could take away from the blazing candles on top of the double chocolate fudge cake that Sam carried over.
"Oh man," Dean felt the goofy smile pulling at his face and shook his head, looking back and forth between the two people he loved most in this world. "you didn't have to put all the candles on," he said wondering how he was ever going to manage to blow them all out and not look like a sissy.
"Yes we did," a voice said in his ear, her arms going around his waist.
"Don't blame me," Sam said, setting the cake down. "You know what's she's like about these things."
"Damn straight," Dean suddenly turned around, grabbing the girl behind him and pulling her down onto his lap while she laughed. "And I wouldn't have her any other way."
"Come on Dean, blow out those candles already—some of us have been starving waiting for you to get here," Dean looked past coffee curls to see Bobby standing behind Sam, the gruffness of his voice betrayed by the smile that graced his face.
"Exactly why were you late anyways?" Ellen's voice teased from where she reclined in a lawn chair under the nearest tree.
"Umm…" Dean looked up to catch an 'I told you so' glance out of liquid brown eyes that offered no help. "Sorry Ellen, gotta save my breath for these candles," he deflected, earning a smirk from Bobby and outright laughter from Sam.
"Well it is my birthday," he protested, which only inspired yet more laughter from his closest friends. Before he could turn red, Dean took a deep breath and blew on the cake, managing to get every candle but one that flickered and refused to quit.
Cheers erupted that turned into laughter again as he huffed and puffed but the flame stubbornly kept burning.
"Sorry man," Sam said, almost doubled over in hilarity. "Trick candle, I couldn't resist."
Dean shifted on the bench ever so slightly so that the love of his life could slide off and to safety.
"You didn't make the cake did you Sammy?" he asked, hands casually placed on the top of the table.
"No…why?" Sam asked, getting wise that Dean was planning something but not sure what…
"Good, cause I wouldn't want to poison you or anything," Dean said, scooping up a corner of chocolate cake thick with fudge icing in his hand and jumping Sam, toppling him to the ground and smearing the cake into his mouth until he begged for mercy.
"Giving up?" Dean asked, rolling over and laying on his back smelling the odd combination of freshly cut grass with rich chocolate fill the air.
"Never…" Sam mumbled, licking icing off his chin. "Just calling a time out for cake."
"Bitch," he said, too comfortable to move or argue.
"Jerk."
Dean looked up as he felt something be placed on his stomach. Long pale fingers tugged his shirt for a second before retreating, leaving a big piece of chocolate cake on a paper plate behind.
"Some of us like to use plates and forks," she offered gently, bending down to hand another plate to Sam and wiping frosting off his cheek with a finger before walking away. Dean saw her look back at him and smile, popping the chocolate covered finger into her mouth as she grabbed more cake to take to Ellen and Joe.
A shadow fell over him and Sam and Dean looked up to see Bobby standing over them, the end of a plastic fork sticking out of his mouth. "I should beat you senseless you igit for wasting cake as good as this."
"Mmmm…" came the agreement from Sam, taking another bite of cake himself.
"Aw, come on Bobby…" Dean said, sitting up and balancing his own piece on one knee.
"But it's just too good to see you both enjoying yourselves," he said smiling. "You deserve to be happy Dean, after everything….I'm just glad that you found it."
"Yeah," Dean said, looking past Bobby to where she sat, long legs swinging free over the edge of the lawn chair, the breeze lifting curls from her shoulders and blowing them into her eyes as she laughed. "I'm glad I found her too."
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Sam rolled over and caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye. He didn't hesitate, but grabbed his gun off the nightstand and dived off the end of the bed, using it for cover it braced his hands along the top of the mattress, gun pointed at…himself. He let out his breath in relief and shook his head, Damn porno mirrors…
He glanced around the room ready to face Dean's ridicule about how jumpy he was getting only to find that Dean was still in bed, with the sun shining bright through the curtains.
"Hey, wakey wakey," Sam said as he got up off his knees and walked into the bathroom. "So where do we start today Dean?" he called out the door as he splashed some water on his face, not even noticing the rust and mould on the taps, after so many dingy hotels it all started to look the same.
"Dean?" he paused, sticking his head out the door. Dean lay in the bed, face down and still he hadn't moved an inch. Something began to sink in Sam's stomach as he stepped out of the bathroom leaving the water running behind him.
"Dean?" nothing.
"Dean!" Sam rushed over, making it across the room in the time it took his heart to lurch one sickening beat. "Dean!" He shook his brother, barely ducking in time as Dean's fist flew at his face but he didn't care he was so relieved. He grabbed Dean, hugging him close.
"Dude, get off me," Dean mumbled pushing him away.
Sam sat back on the bed, not quite trusting himself to stand yet….he'd though…he didn't think he could survive losing Dean again.
"Why didn't you answer me?" Sam asked.
"Maybe because I was dreaming about busty asian beauties ravishing me and suddenly I wake up to see you in my face," Dean answered, rolling to the far side of the bed and wiping cold sweat off his forehead.
"Hate to tell you this," Dean said standing up and walking across the room, "But you're not exactly the face I love to wake up to in the morning."
He shut the door on Sam's response, leaning his head against the pealing paint of the door he sunk to his knees fighting the tears that threatened to choke him.
"I can't do this," he whispered to the empty room.
"Can't do what love?"
He knew if he turned around he'd see her, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, head in her arms, knees and elbows together. She'd be wearing his flannel shirt, the top buttons undone, the brown stripes in the plaid seeming to have been made to perfectly match her eyes.
"I don't deserve it," he confessed to the silence. "You don't know what I did….how I felt…how can I deserve to be saved after that? How can I deserve happiness? A life?...even to only dream it…" he couldn't look up for fear he saw her…or had to face himself in the mirror.
"I don't deserve you."