By popular demand (or at least some demand), I've decided to continue this. I thought about asking where people wanted this to go-happy ending or more realistic to things that have been revealed about the season-but I couldn't figure out a way to actually do a poll without posting a 'fake' chapter and doing it there. But I didn't want to do that b/c I think that's kind of mean-making you all think there's a new chapter when there's not-and I think it's against the site rules anyway.

So this is my take on where we go from where I left it off. I was going to try to do it as close to what the spoilers implied, but then I realized that this story is already different enough, and that's the point of fanfiction anyway, right? To be different, and show other outcomes, other stories, more stories? So even though it's pretty much A/U by now, except for the initial premise of her getting shot, I decided to do this chapter anyway since people wanted me to put more closure to the story, and I kind of wanted that too.

Thanks to all of the many people who reviewed chapter 3 and left such encouraging words. I feel mildly guilty for the angst of the chapter, and there's definitely more to come here, but I love that so many of you liked it and appreciated it and wanted to read more. Thank you!

Tried to have this up before Rise, but oh, well, hey, it didn't work out. But now, if you're anything like me and you want next Monday to get here right NOW, then here's something to keep you occupied for a few minutes until then.

Anyway, disclaimer: standard disclaimer still applies.

Previously: I would put a recap, but you're better off reading the last part of the last chapter. It's really more than I can put in here and still have it be understandable.

Rick went home, mostly on autopilot, after hearing Kate profess her love for her hunky boyfriend-in-mostly-absentia. He just didn't understand how she could still love him, how she could lay there and say those words to that man, when he hadn't even been around in the days since she was out of surgery. Rick was there almost constantly, except for the times he'd gone home to have a quick shower, but he knew Jim was there with her, and Jim had never said anything about Dr. Motorcycle Boy coming around. But Rick wasn't even gone all that long this last time, and there she was, professing her love to the doctor in just the short time he was away.

Without really even knowing how he got there, he found himself in front of his front door. Staring at the keys in his hand like they had just materialized there, he unlocked his door and shuffled in. He collapsed on the couch and thought about how life was a week ago and he wished that he just just go back and erase the last week. Then Kate would be well and whole again, not trying to heal from the inside out where the bullet had cut its path through her as it did its damage. Then his feelings would still be hidden, tucked away where he could manage them, instead of having them displayed for everyone to see, leaving him raw.

She must not have heard him when he told her he loved her after she was shot. She was looking right at him, and he said it twice, but they say that people don't always remember the moments immediately before and after traumatic events. But he'd been there for her! He didn't expect gratitude or even her returned love; he only wanted to be there for her, just because he loved her. He just thought...he hoped...oh, hell. Now that he knew she would live, he supposed that deep down, he'd hoped that even if she didn't remember his words in the cemetery, she would at least feel something of the same connection that he felt with her, and maybe someday...maybe it could turn into more. After he helped her get well. She would see that he was there for her; she would see that he was real. And for a while, since she'd been awake, it seemed that she had. Nobody seemed to blame him, even though he still did. Somehow, it seemed that she wanted him around. And he was planning to be there as long as she felt that way.

But hearing four little words directed at someone else, when that someone else couldn't even be bothered to check on her for three days after she almost died...hearing those words directed at that person as he stood in a sterile hospital hallway had squashed all of those hopes he had of being there for her and maybe becoming something more in time. And stomped those hopes into dust.

And Richard Castle, not knowing what else to do right then, not wanting to feel any more if this hurt inside of him right now, not wanting to remember what went on in the hospital or think about Dr. Motorcycle Boy being with her now, did the only thing he could think of doing right then; he went over to his bar and began his quest to drink his way into oblivion.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kate laid in her bed, tired, but not able to fall asleep. Her chest hurt, but she wasn't due for more pain meds quite yet. Lanie was there, and had been for a while. Even though Kate herself wasn't aware of it, whenever she opened her eyes, she would glance at the door, as if she somehow thought that if she looked at it more, someone-a certain someone-would walk through it.

"Honey, just give in and go to sleep. I'm sure he'll be back soon," Lanie told her, and then mentally added that if he didn't get back here, and soon, she was going to rip that man a new one when he did get back. Then she amended the statement in her mind when she remembered the tortured look on his face as the elevator doors closed. The look that she didn't understand. She knew he was hurting, that he blamed himself. Kate's dad had told her as much when she saw that he was barely leaving the hospital. The look on his face was sad, sure, but it was different than she'd seen on him before. He seemed to be in such a hurry to leave, and even when she told him that Kate needed him, she could have sworn that he shook his head no.

Kate opened her eyes again. "Thought Castle was...going to get coffee. Been gone...long time. Is...he okay?"

Lanie didn't want to tell her that it appeared that Castle had left. With him being with her pretty much constantly since her surgery, seeing the way her eyes now looked for him almost unconsciously, Lanie couldn't do that to her. "I saw him on the phone in the hall earlier, honey," she lied. "He looked like he was talking to his publisher or something. He probably didn't want to disturb you while he argued with the suits."

"Umm..." Kate nodded slightly, just about dropping off to sleep.

"That's it. Go to sleep, honey. He'll be back," Lanie told her friend, and then added silently to herself, "and he'd better be back soon or he's gonna have to answer to me."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

But Rick didn't come back to the hospital, not that night. He succeeded in his quest to drink himself into oblivion. Alexis was staying at a friend's house, luckily, but Martha came home several hours into his quest to find him throwing darts, not entirely successfully, in the direction of the Naked Heat poster that he'd thrown the glass at several days before. Before Kate got shot. Before he admitted out loud that he loved her. Before he heard her say that she loved someone else.

"Richard! What in the world are you doing?"

"Whazzit look li' I'm doin'?"

She hadn't registered it before, but she now noticed the glass in his hand and the dart in the other one. "Richard, are you...drunk?"

"Yup! Iss very usss...tute of you, Mother."

Her son had had his wild days, sure, but she could see this was different. And with the events of the last several days, she knew somehow that it had to involve the upheaval in his life recently, and his worry over the detective. Then she had a thought, and it caused her stomach to feel like it dropped to her feet, and she reached out to the nearby chair to support herself while she asked the question.

"Richard, did something happen to Kate? Did she...?" She let the question trail off, not wanting to voice the actual words.

"If yer gonna say 'did she get all lovey dovey with her boyfriend', then the answer's a big ol' fat yes."

Martha felt a breath whoosh out of her at his words, so thankful that he didn't say that Kate had died. "She's alive then?"

"Yeah. Cheers." And he held up his glass and took another drink. And he threw one of the darts he held at the poster, and it landed right on the silhouette's backside. "Ha! Lookit that. She gets bit in the butt too."

"Kiddo, what happened?" his mother asked in a soft voice, sitting down side of him.

He drained his glass, and then he looked at his mother. "I wenta get some coffee, an' when I came back, I see Doctor pushy-shovey Motocycle Boy is in there with her and then the next thing I know, she tells him she loves him."

Martha drew in a quick breath. "No, that can't be right. He hasn't even been around, to hear you tell it."

"He hassen. But I guess it duzzin matter mush to her."

"Well, you must have misunderstood. I saw the way she looked at you at the funeral, right before she was shot. She heard you tell her that you loved her. You've been there for her. How could she just throw all of that aside?"

"I dunno, Mom. Bu' I heard her say it. 'I love you, J...Josh.'" His voice broke on the doctor's name when he forced himself to repeat the words that he heard, the words that had been echoing through his mind since he said them. "I've been askin' myself that for the last coupla hours. This," he said, holding up his empty glass, "was sposed ta make me forget, bu' so far iss not workin'. Think I need s'more." He started to get up, but she laid a hand on his leg.

"Kiddo, I'm sorry." She reached up to touch her son's face, to stroke his cheek, flashing back to when he was a little boy and he found out that he'd overheard a friend saying unkind things about him. He was devastated, and he didn't want to go back to school for fear of having to face the former friend and not know what to say, or do. "I'm not going to pretend to understand, but she's not herself right now. Maybe she just needs to heal a little bit and get some perspective, and then she'll realize what you mean to her."

He looked up at his mother with sad, bloodshot eyes, eyes that were now moist. "It hurts, mom," he said, his voice sounding anguished. It broke her heart. And hearing him call her 'mom', twice now, well that just broke her heart even more; he almost never called her that, and only did when he was most vulnerable. But those sad eyes continued to look at her, and he spoke again. "I thought...I thought maybe we'd reached a point where she'd see that I...that she might be willing to try...with me. I love her, and I want to help her, but she loves someone else. What do I do now?"

She wanted to take his pain away, just like she did when he was a little boy. But she knew she couldn't do it for him. She could only be there. So she did the only thing she could do. She reached out and pulled her son, the now grown man that was hurting so much, into a hug.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The days passed and Kate got stronger. Rick, after he'd recovered from his whopper of a hangover and was convinced that he could pull of the 'concerned friend' persona once again, made another appearance at her bedside. Ryan and then Esposito had called him in the interim, obviously wondering where he was but not really asking, although Rick could read between the lines. He tried to sound happy, and appropriately concerned about Kate, but claimed to be busy with the details for the upcoming Derek Storm graphic novel, and the Nikki Heat books, etc. etc.

He walked into her room for the first time after hearing her confession to Josh, not the next day afterward, but two days later. She was sitting up in bed a bit more, and she looked like she had a bit more color to her cheeks. Jim was there with her, but nobody else. When he walked in, her eyes widened slightly, but then a small smile curved her lips. She held out a hand to him. "Rick," she greeted. Even just that one word that she spoke sounded stronger, and he was grateful for that. Even though he didn't want to touch her, didn't feel he had the right to touch her, he took her outstretched hand briefly and gave it a squeeze before setting it down on the blanket.

The blue blanket. His blue blanket that he'd brought her. She still had it on her bed, around her. And somehow, seeing the blanket that he'd brought her, still covering her, made his gut hurt just a little bit.

And he glanced away from her, and his eyes came to rest on the pillow and the other blanket that he'd brought from home, the ones that he'd used when he'd stayed with her. The ones he wouldn't be using here again.

"You look better," he said to her, before turning to her father. "Has she been behaving herself, Jim? No dancing?" he tried to joke.

Jim answered him politely, "No dancing. She could try to eat a little more, but she's been good. Healing."

"That's good. So...how have you been? I mean, you know, aside from..." he trailed off, gesturing to her torso, where the bandages could still be seen peeking out of the top of her hospital gown. It occurred to everyone in the room, even the drugged-up Kate, that this conversation was starting out to be disgustingly impersonal and polite.

The conversation went on, and Jim was struck by how much different this Rick was than the Rick of a few days ago. He participated, sure, but he was distant. He was impersonal. He wasn't the man that Jim had seen, broken up over his daughter's shooting, wanting, needing to be with her.

Kate soon was sleepy, and Rick stayed until she had drifted off again. And as soon as she had, Rick seemed as though he couldn't get out of the room fast enough. He stood up and attempted to say a hasty goodbye to Jim, but Jim was having none of it. Rick looked at the hand the Jim had placed on his arm, effectively stopping him from leaving the room.

"Rick," he said in a whisper so as to not wake his daughter, "let's talk."

Rick nodded and moved out into the hall with him. It was strange, attempting to have a private meaningful conversation in the hallway, amidst the hustle and bustle of the patients and all of the personnel scurrying around, tending to their needs. Jim looked at Rick. "I don't know quite how to say this, Rick. I mean, we don't know each other very well, so please forgive me for being blunt, but just where the hell have you been for the better part of the last few days?"

Somehow Rick expected Jim to say something, but still, he didn't quite expect it to be put the way it was. "I'm sorry, Jim. I had some things that I needed to take care of, and it ended up taking longer than I thought."

Jim stared at him for a bit, trying to read him, but he didn't know that Rick had spent the better part of the last day, once he recovered from his drunken stupor and lovesick breakdown, trying to retrain his face, his responses, and his demeanor into the carelessly detached persona that he'd crafted and had maintained so well until recently. So Jim was left wondering what was going on, but still, he went with his gut. "You're standing there looking like you just popped in for a casual visit; very little like the man that sat with me during her surgery, or the man who brought his own blankets and pillow and camped out in her room. That man was in love with my daughter. I know that, and I know you can't fake what I saw coming from you. And then you disappeared, and Katie never asked, but I could see she was wondering. She looked for you, Rick. So do you want to tell me why you disappeared on her?"

"I told you," he repeated, "I just had some things that I needed to take care of." He was trying for a nonchalant tone.

Jim stared at him, silent, trying to read him. And Rick knew the man was trying to read him. Jim was looking at him with that fatherly gaze, the one he tried to use himself to intimidate Alexis' boyfriends. It was all Rick could do not to wilt under his gaze, but he held strong. At least he thought he did, until Jim spoke again. "No, Rick. I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Something happened. A few days ago, it was all we could do to make you go home to take a shower and get some sleep, and you were barely gone before you came back, carrying things so you could camp out and you wouldn't have to go home again. And then, all of a sudden, you left for coffee and never came back...you all but abandoned her."

Rick flinched at the older man's words, specifically one. Abandoned. And it compelled him to speak, even though the words were not well thought out, not for Rick.

"Abandoned her? No, Jim, I'd never do that. That's why I'm here now. But I..." He looked around then, and realizing that they were still in the hall, motioned Jim down to the waiting area that was only a few doors away. Luckily nobody was inside the small room, so he just dove right back into what he'd been saying in the hall. "I realized that I've been spending too much time here. And I really have no right to do that; I just finally realized it. I'm not family. I'm not her partner, not officially anyway. I'm not anybody...important." He paused after the last word, as if it took a lot of strength for him to say. "I'm just her tagalong, and now I'm the tagalong that almost got her killed." Jim saw the defeat in his eyes, and heard it in his words. "I'd never abandon her, because I...she means something to me, but let's just say that I've realized my place."

Jim's mouth had dropped open slightly as Rick fumbled through his words. He shook his head slightly. "Rick, I told you before all of this happened that unless you were dumber than you look, I knew you had feelings for Katie. I know you do. And I know she has feelings for you. So this whole speech about you not being important, that it's not your place...Rick, that's a bunch of bull."

Rick stared at the older man, who seemed to be daring him to reveal all that he had schooled himself not to reveal in the past two days. But with some resolve that he didn't know he had, Rick still managed to shake his head as he told Jim, "Jim, I'm sorry you feel that way. The last thing I want to do right now is to cause you or Kate more stress."

Jim shook his head, somewhat in wonder. "I have to say...Damn, Rick. You really are a master with words, aren't you? You've got the evasive answering thing down pat." His voice, when he spoke next, acquired a steely edge. "So let me ask you something, point blank. And I want either a 'yes' answer or a 'no' answer; no evasions, no half answers, no B.S. Got it?"

This was Kate's father, for goodness sake, and suddenly, Rick felt as though he was being interrogated by his prom date's dad about his intentions for the evening. The emotional rollercoaster of the last several days had taken a toll on him, and he could only dumbly nod at the man across from him.

"Do you love my daughter?"

Simple, direct, but emotionally deadly. That's what the question was. He already felt as though giving his answer would suck the life out of him, like him admitting his feelings to anyone now would be akin to taking the beating heart right out of his body and throwing it on the ground, especially after what he heard two days ago, coming directly from Kate herself. But he'd all but promised the man honesty, so he simply nodded his head, and then, although it felt as if saying the word was indeed going to injure him somehow, he uttered, "Yes."

Jim clenched his lips together and turned around quickly as soon as Rick spoke, taking a few steps toward the other side of the small room, before he faced Rick again and told him forcefully, "So you show that by disappearing for two days?"

"Sir, with all due respect, how I may feel or may not feel has no bearing on things. It's all about how Kate feels. She's the injured one. And she doesn't..." he stopped, not knowing how to word what he was thinking so it didn't make him sound like a spoiled child.

"Doesn't what?" Jim prompted.

"She doesn't want me." There it was...one of those sentences that, when spoken out loud, felt like knives slicing through him.

"You know, I think I might revise my assessment of your mental capacity if you keep spouting that nonsense." He rolled his eyes in a scary imitation of his daughter's habit when she, herself, was frustrated with Rick. "Did you know that Katie won't let that blanket away from her? The blanket that you brought?"

"It's a really nice blanket," Rick said noncommittally. "It was imported from England, and it's made with a special, hypoallergenic..." he trailed off as he saw Jim's eyes widen slightly as he extolled the virtues of the blanket. "I'm, uh, happy she likes it."

"And I thought my daughter was stubborn," Jim said, rolling his eyes to the ceiling again. "Rick, I'm a man, and we're known for being notoriously dense about feelings and relationships, but even I can see that the damn blanket is something tangible that represents you. Because you brought it for her. Please, stick around, for Katie. Please. You don't have to stay here, 24/7 like you had been doing, but please don't go away again for entire days. If you could have seen how she kept looking for you, kept looking toward the door, the way her eyes darted around the room whenever she woke up from a nap..." Jim shook his head and then looked at Rick again. "Rick, I'm asking you from one father to another. If there was something that your daughter needed to make her well, to help her heal when she almost died, wouldn't you do anything to give it to her? Rick, she needs you. Don't stay away again."

Rick let out a long breath and sunk down in a chair. That was a low verbal blow that Jim had dealt, playing the father card, but it was effective. Jim was right; if Alexis was hurting, he would do anything to make her feel better, to give her what she needed. It was like when Ashley had come to see him at the station, to make a plea for Rick to talk to Alexis on Ashley's behalf. And he had, sort of, even though he felt strange doing it. But he did it for Alexis, because he knew that she wanted Ashley. Yes, he could certainly understand Jim's plea, father to father.

He looked up at Jim. "I already said that I wouldn't totally abandon her. I just need to...scale back, if you will."

"No, I won't. Son, I can't force you to do anything, I know that. But I can appeal for that love you say you have for my daughter. Be there for her. Stay with her, more than just five minutes every third day. Help her get well. Because I know she'll listen to you, and I know she'll want you there. I don't know what the hell happened to make you disappear the first time, but I'm sincere when I ask you: pease don't disappear again."

Rick so wanted to ask Jim why he wasn't having this conversation with Josh, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the man's name. So as he gazed up at Jim, he said softly, "Okay, Jim." Rick saw Kate's dad visibly relax at his agreement. But he forged on, because he knew what else he had to say, and it was the only way that he felt he could possibly do what Jim was asking, knowing what he knew, and remembering what he'd heard.

"I won't disappear. I'll stay with Kate while she gets better. But I have one condition. I have to hear it from Kate that she wants me there. She has to ask me to stay."

Well, I said four or five chapters, so with that, it looks like this one is going to be five.

Hope I wasn't too OOC here. I thought it might be too much for Jim, but I'll try to justify it by saying that he saw his only child almost die, and he saw the bond and the connection between her and Castle for several days, and then poof-Castle was gone. And even HE is left wondering, never mind Kate. And after that, Jim noticed a change in that child of his, the one who just cheated death, and he'll do whatever he can to restore equilibrium and comfort back to her so she can heal, and if that means pleading with the person who was there for her for several days, then so be it.

But Castle has erected his own walls now, ever since he (thought he) heard Kate's confession to Josh, so a simple request from Jim just isn't going to do it anymore. He's operating under false assumptions, but he doesn't know that. And he's just trying to protect himself.

Now...Rise! So much awesomeness! So many little things that are going to be the 'themes' of and set the tone for the new the season. And so much subtext, like always. I wonder how many people out there just do not see or 'get' all of the subtext in the show, all of the parallels that they create?

But anyway, thanks for reading, and please, please review (or drop me a pm) so I know what you think of this chapter. Seriously, I keep getting new story alerts, so you must like SOMETHING about it, so hey, just let me know what you like, okay? The feedback makes me want to write more chapters rather than scrap the whole thing b/c people don't seem to have anything to say about it.