Chapter 4...enjoy!

disclaimer: disclaimed.

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It's where my demons hide

It's where my demons hide

-Imagine Dragons

The streets of Berlin bustled with activity, despite the midnight hour, and Ziva couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned over the stiff sheets of the hotel bed, plagued by the relentless torrent of nightmares that had returned for the first time in many months.

It was May and the weather was starting to warm up, but Ziva was cold. No matter how tight she pulled Tony's shirt around her or how many blankets she pulled on top of her, she couldn't help the shiver that she could now feel in her bones. Every time she closed her eyes it was a new face, a new demon in front of her, behind her, to the side...

She had done a good job of coming to terms with her past over the last few months, and she felt better for it, but why tonight? Why were the nightmares coming back now? Hadn't she buried them a long time ago, and vowed to never let them return?

She saw Saleem. His beady eyes glinted and he swigged from his canteen, leaving a red sheen behind on his lips. He looked almost vampiric in the way he grinned wickedly, and a blade glistened in his hand, sharp and ready to be used.

"Oh Ziva, haven't you learned? You cannot hide from me..."

She could feel his hot breath on her neck, his hand gripped her upper arm too tightly, the sting of the blade on her neck...

"You cannot hide from me..."

She jerked awake again, tangled in the sheets of the bed, and still shaking with cold. Water. She needed water.

Ziva glanced warily around the hotel room for good measure, and then stumbled to the tiny bathroom. She gulped from a plastic bottle that stood readily on the counter, and blinked sleepily, trying to get oriented. Her hands grasped the cool granite counter top, and though she wanted to, she couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror.

But she did anyway.

Her hair hung limply down her shoulders in loose waves, and there were dark circles sunken in under her eyes. She had promised herself that she would never look like this scared, lonely, haunted shell of a woman ever again, but here she was. On a road she'd traveled so far, she let herself be taken away again, right when she thought she was actually nearing the end.

Why? Why was this happening?

She straightened the covers on the bed again and tumbled underneath, thoroughly exhausted. Closing her eyes once again proved to be a mistake.

"At lo levad," Tony whispered, and she snuggled into his embrace. His arms tightened around her, and his hand rubbed her back soothingly.

Safety. That's what he was.

And then he sagged against her, and his weight quickly became too much and they fell to the ground.

"Tony!" she screamed, but his grasp was slackening, his skin turning cold. She pulled away from him, and his weakening hand clutched hers.

"I'm sorry, Ziva," he whispered hoarsely, the red line on his neck growing, "It hurts..."

Blood began to trickle down his neck, and his hand fell away. "I can't do this anymore..."

She bolted upright, tears gushing down her cheeks. Without thinking, she grabbed for her phone...

Tony was hoping to finish the rest of his work soon and call it a night, and a yawn escaped from his mouth without warning. Gibbs shot him a glare from across the bullpen, and Bishop glanced at him worriedly. He shrugged off the weight of their glances...he didn't care anymore.

With a flourish of his wrist, he dated the last piece of paper and tossed the pen aside with a sigh. Finished.

He spared a glance to the picture frame tucked in the corner of his desk, by his light. With a small, tired smile, his fingers reached up to trace her face for the millionth time that week, but almost immediately heard Gibbs clear his throat.

"Finished, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah Boss. Just did." he replied, and let his eyes linger on her beautiful, smiling form for a few seconds more, before hauling himself up from the desk and making his way over to Gibbs with his case report.

Gibbs started to say something to him once he handed the report over, but Tony was distracted by a sudden vibration in his pocket. He pulled out his cell curiously, and he froze.

"DiNozzo? DiNozzo! Where the hell are you going?!"

But Tony ignored him and quickly fled the bullpen, simultaneously answering the call and lifting the phone to his ear. It had been months. Months.

He took refuge in the little alcove behind the stairs, and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath before greeting, "Ziva?"

"Tony."

Something was off. Her voice was all wrong...he could tell just by the way she had uttered his name.

"Ziva? I'm here."

He heard her suck in a deep, shuddering breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He had to know. Something was definitely wrong.

"Tony...they're back..." her voice cracked, and Tony's heart broke. She was crying.

"The nightmares?" he ventured.

"Yes." she sniffed.

Tony was silent for a moment. How was he supposed to respond? Where was she? This was the first time he had heard her voice in months and she was sobbing...how was he supposed to deal with that?

"...Tell me what happened." he answered, and he heard her suck in a breath.

"Saleem. It is always him...oh, Tony, please tell me that you are alright..." She was hyperventilating.

"Ziva, I'm perfectly fine, I promise, okay? I'm at the Navy Yard right now...just finished up some work. Please sweetheart, take a deep breath for me, alright? I'm safe. You're safe. And I'm here." he hoped that was sufficient. The few times he had been with her when the nightmares had gotten the best of her, it had been easier to hold her close and whisper sweet nothings in her ear to calm her down. A phone call was different. "Deep breaths," he crooned again.

"I-I-I'm t-t-trying."

"Where are you, Ziva?" he was even more concerned now.

"Berli-i-i-n." she was struggling to be coherent.

Tony's eyes fluttered closed. Berlin.

"H-he killed you, T-Tony," she stuttered, and Tony felt a tear slip down his cheek. Oh, Ziva...

"Has this been happening a lot?" he asked. Had she been going through this alone the entire time?

"This i-is the f-first since you...you left..."

His heart broke for her.

"I-I thought I was d-doing good, but-"

"-I'm sure you were doing great, Ziva." he reassured. "This happens to the best of us, ya know?"

"It was s-so bad," she whispered. "The w-worst it's ever been."

"What do you need, Ziva? Name it, and I'll make it happen."

"You, Tony...I need you."

So, things are heating up...hmmm...drop me a review on your way out. Will he go? Will he stay?