It's a Learning Process
This had gone much better in her head.
Not that Rapunzel would ever admit to any one of them, but she isn't the brightest tool in the shed. She thought that once she gathered her group of friends and got them rallied behind a cause, her cause, that everything would fall into place and that a plan would magically be generated. From one of the others. Because she had done more than enough. With coming up with a stinkin' name.
"Come on you guys! We need to start churning out ideas, I can't be the sole mastermind. There's no me in team!" Rapunzel cried exasperatedly from the bed, staring at her friends upside down as her head hung off the side.
This was not going as planned. They were supposed to cheer and marvel in awe at her initiative. Then someone would start playing "We Are the Champions" or some other celebratory music and then Flynn Rider would come swooping in from nowhere and get down on one knee and propose to her and...
"Blondie looks like she's out of commission at the moment. I guess I'll have to step in and come up with a plan then," Bunny cracked his knuckles as he stretched, warming up his biceps as if it would warm up his brain.
"No, sit your ass down," Merida said, annoyed by the fact that with all the brilliant minds in the room, *cough* Hiccup *cough* only Bunny spoke up. "Any plan you come up with will most likely end up getting Jack killed and half of us thrown in prison."
Anna, who took to browsing through reindeer pictures on her phone when the conversation stopped, glanced up. "Why only half?"
"I'd beat up the cop before he could arrest me; you'd be exempt because your related to Ice Godfather; and the other girls look too innocent or ditzy to be convicted for accessory to murder," Merida said as she ticked off the reasons with her fingers.
Bunny stared at the girls for a moment before he turned to his girlfriend. "Was there an insult hidden in there?" Tooth could only hush him and soothingly pat his head on her shoulder.
"Whatever. Bunny, share your plan!" Rapunzel cut off the two redheads and looked expectantly at the man.
A grin consumed his rabbit-like features as he literally hopped up from his spot, his girlfriend's consoling actions long forgotten.
"Yes! So the plan is too complicated for all of you guys combined so I dumbed it down for you," he declared arrogantly.
Finally looking up from his book, Hiccup replied dryly, unamused at his intelligence being insulted. "How thoughtful of you, cretin."
"Well then, let's hear it," Anna encouraged.
"Step one: get Jack to admit to his feelings for Elsa!" Bunny declared with a smirk, "Step two: wait to accomplish step one. Step three: get them together."
Hiccup stared at him blankly. "That's it? That was the best you could have come up with?"
"So far. We cannot anticipate more until this is succeeded, young grasshooper." Bunny answered sagely, rubbing his chin.
"It's grasshopper you amoeba." Hiccup snapped.
"We all have at least one class with Jack," Tooth chimed in, trying to diffuse the mounting tension. "We can make sure Elsa and Dylan are never out of his thoughts. At some point, he will be overwhelmed and will have to do something. Then we just swoop in and tell Jack to beg Elsa to take him back. Considering how long she has been in love with him, that shouldn't be too much of a problem," Tooth finished with a blinding smile.
"That's brilliant! This is going better than I thought it would! I never doubted you guys!" Rapunzel cried out in glee. "Anna, did you get a copy of Jack's schedule?"
"Yes ma'am. Had Kristoff pick them up before football practice," Anna said as she rummaged her knit backpack for the aforementioned papers.
"How did you get the office to give you that?" Merida asked with a raised eyebrow, "Ice Godfa-"
"No," Anna glared at the assumption she was used to hearing. "In case you didn't know, Felix at the front desk is terrified of big guys. So all Kristoff had to do was ask." Anna said nonchalantly as if she was not just involved in the intimidation of a civil servant.
"Must be nice having an intimidating boyfriend," Tooth teased from her spot next to Bunny. "People take a look at his Easter egg tattoos and his lilac hair and die laughing."
Bunny looked hurt at the comment about his hair and precious tattoos and scooted away from her.
"Alright, I got this all figured out!" Rapunzel announced eagerly, waving the schedule that was more pink than white at this point because of her pen marks. "Jack has Chemistry with Bunny, Tooth, Merida, Hiccup, and Anna; Anna and I have him in math; Hiccup and Merida are in his Latin class; he has history with Bunny and Tooth; there is English with Hiccup; and finally he's in football with the men." There was a murmur of consensus at how everything was turning out until Hiccup spoke up.
"Wait, I'm not in football," Hiccup stated defiantly.
"I said men, not boys," Rapunzel shot him a look, daring him to challenge her sense of accomplishment at the moment. With a roll of his eyes, Hiccup returned to his book.
"Well, this is certainly ideal," Merida commented, glancing at the schedule that was being passed around. "So that means that no one has any reason not to pull their weight around here." Merida said offhandedly, but punctuated the sentence with a glare that everyone responded to with an immediate nod of their heads.
"Great! We'll have Jack begging to get Elsa back in no time!" Rapunzel cheered, clapping her hands.
Jack sat idly on the stadium benches, beat after an intense round of football conditioning. He glanced at his phone which had been suspiciously quiet all afternoon...
"Jackson, is it?"
Jack looked up at the voice to flinch at the sudden attack of sunlight shining right at him. He glared at the figure of the douche- Dylan- who called him. Jack's annoyance only spiked as he realized that the sun behind Dylan only served to illuminate his silhouette, making the albino eyesore of a boy practically glow. Tch, he must have been the inspiration for Twilight, Jack thought bitterly.
"What's it to ya'?" Jack replied snappily.
The more-snow-than-man frowned. "Your grammar is impeccable, I see." Jack scowled at the comment, doing nothing to fight off the question in his head about whether the jerk would bleed blue blood if he were to accidentally fall thirty feet from the bleachers.
"I have a question for you," Dylan began in a snobbish tone, "What are Elsa's favorite flowers?"
Jack blinked at first, trying to comprehend what was being vomited from that ugly mouth he is just itching to punch.
"What?"
Rolling his eyes and tapping his foot in impatience, Dylan repeated his question slower.
"Flowers. You know, pretty plant things? Which ones do Elsa- even prettier human thing- like?" He put emphasis on the second question, eyes flashing mockingly.
Jack's confusion immediately gave way to irritation. "I don't know. Maybe she's like Tooth and likes roses."
"So you're telling me that you know Tooth's favorite flowers but not Elsa's?"
Narrowing his eyes at the implication being made at him, Jack snapped back, "I only know that because Bunny goes out of his way to get as many multi-colored roses for Tooth every time he apologizes for being stupid, which is daily. Why do you even need to know anyway?"
"Not that it concerns you, but I plan on bringing them with me as I visit her parents tomorrow to formally introduce myself," Dylan declared, puffing his chest in pride. "Every good relationship needs a firm foundation. Not that you would know."
The fire that began burning in his belly since he found out about Dylan flared infinitesimally hotter.
Ice Godfather would know if you killed him.
Ice Godfather would hurt you if you killed him.
Ice Godfather would know if you killed him.
Ice Godfather would hurt you if you killed him.
The consequences of an oh-so-easy 'accident' kept repeating in his head as Jack finally replied, but not without venom laced in his voice.
"Like heck I know."
Dylan curled his lip in disgust. "They were right. You really didn't deserve her." That's it.
"Go away." Jack snarled. Sensing the dangerous aura being emitted by the artificially white hair boy, and still having some sense of self-preservation, Dylan shrugged and sauntered away.
Watching the Edward Cullen wannabe leave, Jack clenched and unclenched his fist to get the blood flowing back into his hands, which were tensed moments ago, ready to attack. Taking in deep breaths, Jack let himself cool down until the obnoxious voice shouted up at him from the field.
"You know, once Tooth and Bunnymund split up, you could always go for Bunnymund."
Jack processed the comment slowly. Did he just?
Himself.
With Cottontail?
Oh, spawn of the Joker, you are dead.