I searched through the times that the flights left for Italy, any part of Italy. I just had to get away from here. Or at least be where she was; I was forced by my own love to be suicidal. What were the odds? A suicidal vampire? I'd been the only one in centuries, and still the only one within the past year. Aro would know instantly what I was up to, though he'd try to sacrifice myself into his guard instead of just letting me die away like I'd wished, like she'd wished.

She wouldn't want this, Edward. You know that. Rosalie's thoughts had broken my epiphany towards Italy. How could that shallow, low-life blond still track me dangerously without wanting to be dead like myself?

"She begs for me to be with her," I explained her thoughts, turning only slightly to speak somewhat directly. She didn't need to know my doubts.

Bella would not want you to give up your life and leave your daughter. She swooned at the word daughter while my face twisted to disgust. Daughter. The monster—worse than myself—destroyed me. And I thought I was the most vile creature, the most destructive and cruel predator on the planet. I was now dropped to second in my thoughts.

"Why are you hear?" Knowing that she didn't really care to be here, I pressed the question anyway.

"Because you can't just leave your daughter out on the streets. She needs her father."

"And that was your plan all along wasn't it? To just have Bella dead so that you could claim that beast yourself!" I was raging as I noticed the few people staring at us, wondering the raucaus.

"I'm sorry that I thought that earlier." Her apology seemed little to what she owed me. "That was very insensitive of me and I'm sorry. Bella meant the world to you and all I caused was irritation and false-notes towards her, not even getting to know her that well, really, because I was jealous of her." She continued trying to amend her fault with words that meant little to me. All I could focus on was the beast.

Her smell was the mixed fragrance of Bella and mine. She stared at me with a smile, matching her brown eyes; Bella's brown eyes.

How could one ignore such a beauty? She looked like Bella—beauty and eyes and all—and she held the predatorism of a vampire, like myself.

Then she held a guilty look, as if she didn't mean any harm to Bella. And that I was too late to save her. It was the same look that Bella'd used after she'd seduced me on Isle Esme. That look, I'll never forget. I could never forget Bella's face no matter how much my mind told me to do so now, to move on. And here was Renesmee, a reminder to the heavens I once felt when I was with Bella.

If only I wasn't so careful with her; I could've experienced more of my ressurecting human and had enjoyed Bella all at once but because of what? Because I wanted her to stay human? Because I didn't want her to become the monster I was? I didn't even remember the reasons of why I held her back, demanding her patience in the alteration. I'd coveted Bella and I'd lost her; kind of like a bully beating up himself with the pain of the victim being felt anyway, no pain to the bully. It didn't make sense. I didn't have to hold her back, or make her wait, but because I'd thought I was too selfish and she thought I wasn't? When wasn't she right in my mind? When she said it didn't matter what I was, even if I wasn't human to her? When she'd made the choice to see Jacob without my concerns or orders, completely ignoring those I'd given and then me not being mad at her? When I'd deliberately agreed to try to make love to her and create an abomination called my daughter? She'd been right by being compassionate and selfless as she'd described me. She was everything she saw me as—without the speed, strength, coldness, and thirst. And of course without the attracting troubles of stalkers, sadistic vampires like James and Victoria, and, of course, the young, childish wolves that ran around protecting her just as much as I was. I owed Jacob a million lifetimes by this point.

And then I'd thought of his pain; what he'd lost and gained through these past few days. He'd given a service to protect not only Bella, but my family as well, while suffering seeing the monster murder her inside out. The pain that she'd inflicted on him trying to say goodbye so many times and then he'd ended up coming back, only to be hurt more than was previous. How he'd known that he'd lost to me because I'd been the noble one when his love could never be enough to be complete.

But now he had gained a new love and I gained more and more respect for him. I now refuse to call him an infant or pup or dog, not only because he is my son, but because he had given up so much for Bella that I'd never expected without appreciation and she'd wounded him so many countless times; over and over again, and he took it in silence—most of the time. However, Renesmee had completely filled that gap in his heart with imprintation—honestly, the strangest thing I've ever witnessed in my one hundred and ten years—but, he felt the need to protect his own love from me as I was Bella from him. It was an epic war neither of us would be victorious in. Now he was my son as much as his was my mortal enemy, and what we both had tried to keep alive and fight for had failed us both. However, I'd lost because he had Renesmee and I was left alone once more.

I grabbed my daughter from Rosalie's hands with a deep sigh. She was wary at first, handing me Renesmee, but I soothed her out. "Thank you, Rosalie, for everything you've done." Forgiveness is divine.

And I left the airport to head to my home.