A/N: Thanks to Tansy for making me re-consider my direction with this chapter. :)
Rick knew they had to start making decisions.
He'd watched Daryl when he was outside. Talking to him had been near impossible and he'd watched him as he sat there before he came inside. He looked like shit and had barely acknowledged any of the others.
They'd left him alone but after a couple of hours, Rick went and took some crackers and water for him, knowing Daryl hadn't eaten much that day. He went back an hour later and filled the water which Daryl had drunk. He was sleeping again, his complexion pale, sweating but shivering gently. He'd grabbed some spare blankets and tried to keep Daryl warm before he left him again.
He was worried now. It had been a niggling fear before but he couldn't help thinking back to Jim's own infection. He'd compare it in his mind and then try and reason how this was different.
He startled awake and he wasn't sure what woke him. He could hear voices somewhere and he struggled to his feet and headed out of the room, stumbling along towards the distant voices.
He passed by the room unnoticed, the people inside caught up in their conversation, not noticing him at all. He passed by but waited on the other side of the wall, unseen and listening to them.
"...what are we going to do. I mean, he'll turn," Lori, he guessed.
"I'll deal with it when the time comes," Of course that was Rick.
"And then what, do we stay here?"
"Of course, it's safe here."
"Dad? Are we gonna bury Daryl?"
What the fuck? He wasn't even dead and they were preparing what to do with his body. He walked away from the door and the conversation. He didn't really think where he was going, just walked away. He ended up heading towards the front of the prison and only stopped when Hershel's young daughter stepped out in front of him. He couldn't remember her damn name and the only one that came to mind was Amy. He knew that wasn't right.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"Takin' the dog out, wha's it look like?" Daryl said, pointing down to the ground next to him. Of course, Bella wasn't there and he looked around for the dog. He whistled, called her name and the dog came after him. "See?"
"You haven't even got your bow with you?" She pointed out, knowing that no one was supposed to go out unarmed.
"I got a knife," he reached across and picked up the gun that they kept at the front for the person on watch. "This'll be better though. Easier."
She frowned at him but couldn't really stop him leaving. He scared the hell out of her for starters. "Don't go far."
Lori, Rick and Carl had decided some time together would be good for them. Just acting as a family. However, they still veered violently from normal family conversations.
"If Daryl's infected what are we going to do. I mean, he'll turn," Lori, he guessed.
"I'll deal with it when the time comes," Of course that was Rick.
"And then what, do we stay here?"
"Of course, it's safe here."
"Dad? Are we gonna bury Daryl?"
"Hopefully he'll be okay and that won't be an issue, but if that happens then of course we will."
"I hope he's okay. I want Daryl to teach me to hunt. "
Rick couldn't help smile at that. Typical Carl. "I gotta be honest, I was hoping he might teach all of us a few of his survival skills. We could all use some more knowledge like he has."
"I think it would take more than a few lessons before you were bringing in a buck," Lori said, amused at them.
"Probably. Not like I expect to ever be as skilled as Daryl, but even if we all just learnt one skill from him, it'd help the whole group out," Rick explained.
"Heh, you won't get me complaining. Fresh meat would be welcome."
"Hey, where's Bella going?" Carl asked, hearing the dogs claws as they hit the concrete.
"Maybe she wants letting out," Lori said. "Don't worry about it, there's plenty of people out there to see to her," Lori said.
Rick stood up. "Best go check on Daryl."
It was a short walk between any of the rooms that they had inhabited. They'd purposely stayed close to one another for safety, but Daryl had done his best to give himself some space. Picked a room a little further away than the others.
When Rick reached the room, he was surprised to see the bed empty. Daryl's crossbow stayed where he'd left it, propped against the wall in the corner of the room.
Rick relaxed slightly, guessing Daryl was just wandering around the prison somewhere, knowing he didn't like to go outside without it. He recalled Daryl having it with him in the exercise yard the day before which was enough to prove he hated leaving it behind. Rick made his way back down the halls, checking all of the areas the group frequented. Kitchen, the makeshift dining and living areas. he came across Maggie and asked her if she'd seen Daryl but she shook her head, seemingly distracted. Rick guessed she was worried about Glenn. Unable to find Daryl, he headed towards the exercise yard, seeing it empty as well.
Rick headed towards the front of the prison.
Daryl sat beneath on of the trees.
It was nice out here. Cooling breeze felt nice on his burning skin.
His mind flashed back to Jim. he met his maker the same way. Sat beneath a tree to die alone. He wondered if he was still wandering around somewhere. He was absently stroking Bella's head as he thought about it.
This was the right thing to do. If he stayed in there and turned, he put everyone at risk. He also knew that Rick would be the one who'd have to put him down and the guy clearly found it hard. It wore heavy on him. He'd struggled to do it for Dale and he knew that it had been hard for him to kill Shane, but he'd done it.
They might think him a coward, taking the easy way out but it was the right think to do. He checked the gun and found one bullet. He knew they were short on ammo, so he'd figured things out already. He'd cut Bella's throat and put a bullet through his own head. Problem sorted.
He wondered how long it would take them to realise he was missing, or when they'd find his body.
Wondered what would be left of it when they found him, beneath this tree.
He looked at Bella. Her trusting eyes on him made his gut twist at what he was going to do. It would be for the best, he knew that. He'd have to do it quickly and deep, make sure he killed her in one move, wouldn't want her to suffer. Snapping her neck would be better but he she was a large dog and he wasn't sure he head the strength to do it.
He wasn't sure he had the strength to do much of anything. "C'mere girl." He said, the dog tilted her head quizzically at him as he moved closer, knife in one hand as he sat beside her, stroking her gently with the other. "This won't hurt a bit."
"Have you seen Daryl?" Rick asked.
"He went out a little while ago."
"Damn, why didn't you come and get me?" Rick demanded.
"I-I didn't think it..."
Rick didn't have time for this, he opened the door and looked for Daryl.
There was no sign of him.
The grass was overgrown and unless the man was standing, Rick had no idea where he was. "Daryl!" He yelled at the top of his voice, not caring if he drew every walker nearby to them, because if he was right, Daryl wasn't planning on coming back.
"What's going on?" Maggie asked coming up beside Rick.
"Daryl's out here somewhere. I need to find him now,"
Maggie scanned the area carefully. "Over by the trees, looks like someone walked through the grass recently."
Rick didn't wait for anything else, he started in that direction at a dead run.
He hadn't got far when he heard a dog yelp.
Bella hung limply in his arms, her blood covering his hands and puddling into his lap.
He couldn't help it as the bile rose up his throat and he spat out the meagre contents of his stomach. he'd seen worse, but somehow, having the warm sticky blood of this dog penetrating through the layer of his trousers and soak the skin underneath just did it for him. He wiped the sweat from his face into his arm, trying to avoid using his hands. He moved the dogs head off of his lap.
One down...
He took the run out from where he'd stuck it into the waistband of his trousers.
"Daryl!" Rick's voice yelled from somewhere. he sounded panicked and Daryl wondered for a moment what might have happened before he twigged onto the fact that he probably knew Daryl was out here.
Rick came into view and almost stopped in his tracks as he took in the sight before him. Blood seemed to be covering Daryl and he couldn't tell if the man was injured himself or not. Bella was clearly dead and he noticed the gun in Daryl's hand.
Struggling to catch his breath, Rick held a hand out to Daryl, hoping to somehow placate the man. "Don't do anything stupid, Daryl."
"It's not stupid. Saving you a job."
Rick slowly lowered himself in front of Daryl. "Listen, you don't need to do this. We still don't know..."
"You wanna be the one to shoot me in the head when I bite your kids face off?"
Rick struggled at the image, Daryl's current bloodied state wasn't helping. "This isn't the answer, Daryl. Whatever has to be done. I'll have someone with you all the time, we'll lock you in your room if that'll help. This isn't a solution, okay?"
Daryl seemed to think it over. "I killed her," he muttered, looking at the dog by his side.
"It's okay," Rick soothed. "Lets just get back inside." He hadn't missed the fact that Daryl was shaking gently although his skin glistened with the sheen of sweat that coated it. However, try as he might, he couldn't seem to get Daryl to get up and come to the prison with him. He tried to convince him he needed to rest, that he'd get sicker if he stayed outside, even just tried common sense and that he should be inside but nothing motivated Daryl to get up. He stayed where he was in a pile of dogs blood.
Rick sighed, unsure of himself.
"Alright then," he eventually said and sat down as well, not too close to Daryl, wanting to give him his space, but close enough. "But if we're waiting out here, I'm having the gun," he said and rather than reach for it, he held out his hand. He wanted Daryl to hand it over, didn't want to take it from him.
Daryl's blood covered hand carefully placed the gun in Rick's hand.
Hershel made his way across the field to where Maggie had pointed him.
The sun was setting and there was a chill in the air. The practical side of him was furious that Rick was out here with a sick man and not dragging him back to rest inside, but another part of him wondered what exactly they were doing out here.
When they hadn't come back, Maggie had checked to see what was happening. Rick waved her off, telling her they were fine and not to worry. Hershel had taken charge while Rick was preoccupied, told them to sort out dinner and otherwise busy themselves because when Daryl came back, he wouldn't want to have them all watching him.
Well, he'd decided enough was enough. He needed to get Daryl inside. Maggie had warned him about the blood, she's seen the dead dog and told him, and so seeing Daryl pretty much covered from the waist down in blood wasn't a shock like it might have been.
"It's getting late, you boys need to get inside now," he said, his voice authoritative, like he was speaking to children.
Rick nodded and stood up, his legs a little stiff from the lack of movement. Daryl still made no attempt to move and after sharing a brief look with Hershel, Rick moved to one side of him, and Hershel the other and hauled the man to his feet. He made some varied attempts to help as the made their way back to the prison but his legs didn't seem to want to work and he let the pair drag him and didn't attempt to try again until the got closer to the prison. They slowed when they got close, allowing Daryl to retain his dignity and walk inside.
The place was surprisingly quiet, Rick had visions of the other waiting there for them and was grateful for their absence. Not long after they got inside, Daryl dropped to a dead weight in their arms and both men had to hold on tight and readjust their grips to stop him falling to the ground.
"Damn," Hershel muttered, noting Daryl's unconscious form. "Need to get him cleaned up when we get him to his room and nothing but bed rest after this."
Rick nodded, not arguing with the man.
Rick had helped Hershel strip Daryl bloodied clothes off and left the other man to clean him up at Hershel's request.
They both knew that Daryl wouldn't be best pleased if he woke up any time soon, but having just one person there might help. Hershel sent Rick to get some food and told him to bring Daryl something after he'd finished, a soup or broth, something simple.
The group ate together and Maggie reminded them that T Dog and Glenn weren't back. Another problem to sort out. They all knew that the plan was for them to get back the same day and as they knew the medical supplies were urgently needed, they knew they wouldn't have stayed the night if they didn't have to.
"We need to send a search party out first thing," Maggie declared.
"Lets not be hasty," Rick said.
"They've been gone for hours, Rick. We can't just wait. If they need help they might need it now."
"If it was too late for them to travel then they'd hold off until morning."
"That's not good enough," Maggie stated.
Rick sighed. "The way things are, we can't afford to send people out to look for them when we knew they might be this long. Let's say we go out tomorrow, who does that leave here? Your dad and sister, my wife and son, Carol. It's leaving this place too weak, too vulnerable."
"So you're just happy to leave them out there?"
"If there not back by midday, we head out. Just promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"Fine," Maggie said, still not happy but willing to settle for now.
Rick stood up. "Where are you going?" Lori asked.
"I need to take Daryl some food up,"
"I can do that," Lori insisted.
"Thanks," Rick said, cutting the space between them. "It needs to be me though. Just in case." And she knew what he meant.