keep in mind this is like a wrapping-up story. :) won't be that long before it's over...
--
i bare my windowed self untamed and untrained,
dreams that hardly touch our complexions truest faults.
if room enough for both my drowsy spirit shall fall,
bold waves tumble oh to the season of my heart.
and you have offended my faith and my trust,
until all is lost into the beauty of the day
until all is lost,
until all is lost.
--
Spots clouded her vision. She shook her head, as if trying to shake them off.
It didn't work.
"Are you okay?" She heard Jake ask from a distance.
She leaned her head back.
"Yeah," She responded after a moment. "Fine." Her voice sounded strange, like it wasn't hers.
Suddenly a doctor walked in.
"Is it all right if I ask you to leave for a moment or two?" He asked Jake. "I think it would be a bit easier to ask these questions alone."
But I'm not alone, she resisted saying. You're kind of in the room with me. But she didn't complain when he left, almost looking sympathetic as he shot one final glance at her.
He sat down in the chair Miley had been sitting in, an official-looking clipboard in tow. There was a pen dangling from it. He adjusted his glasses in an egotistical way that sort of reminded her of one Jake Ryan that was standing outside of her hospital room.
She couldn't see ghosts anymore. Which means she couldn't see Oliver. Just the thought of it made her head spin, made her heart ache.
She was in love with Oliver Oken, and she knew it just as well as anyone else would. It was too bad he killed her.
Of course it was Oliver Oken's fault that she died that day.
The doctor was staring at her from the other end of the tunnel.
He didn't even ask her if she was all right.
Better for her; that meant she didn't have to say she was fine.
Maybe he was just too stupid to figure it out.
"Can you tell me everything you remember about the accident?"
Figures.
She struggled to speak.
"I fell," She began, feeling stupid. The spots gathered around the edges of her vision.
From far away the doctor motioned for her to continue.
Lilly hesitated.
She could tell him everything. She could tell him that a ghost caused her emotional trauma and she fell because of him. That she drove a car into a pole because of him. That she could no longer see him...because of him.
But that would end up with her in a straitjacket, of course.
"Tell me absolutely everything you remember."
"I fell," She said, a bit louder the second time around. She stared at the door.
"I fell, and I was on the ground."
Her voice sounded strange again. Unreal.
"I was on the ground, and I was dead..."
The deep, well-hidden feeling of hysteria was returning.
"I was dead," She repeated, her voice laden with something that sounded like realization. "I felt things breaking when I hit the ground. I had to be dead..."
The panic began to rise in her throat.
"Lucas was shaking me, and..."
She stared up at the ceiling, feeling the color drain from her face.
"Anything else?" The doctor asked in that boring drone of his.
She resisted breaking down right there in front of him.
"I woke up here," She whispered.
He stood up, putting the clipboard under one arm. "Either doctor Thompson or I will be back in a while to ask you some more questions," He stated, ignoring the fact that she was biting down on her tongue hard enough to make it bleed.
He walked out of the room and shut the door, even though she could hear him talking to the others outside.
"Is she going to be okay?" She heard Lucas ask with worry in his voice. It sickened her.
The doctor's response was firm. "She'll be completely fine soon enough."
"But what about now?"
He didn't answer him for a moment, but when he did his voice was low. "This girl...Lillian Truscott, it's my understanding that she has been through two traumatic experiences in the last month. It can be very..." His voice lowered to the point where she could no longer hear him.
"So what does that mean?" She heard her mother's voice outside, loud and obnoxious.
Her mother had been waiting outside of her room.
Well, of course she was. That stupid doctor wouldn't explain all of my injuries to just a bunch of concerned teenagers.
The doctor explained something else in that low drone of his.
"So do we have to like...watch for something?" Miley asked obliviously.
"I'll go into more detail with you when necessary, but..." The doctor trailed off. She could pretty much imagine him sifting through his stupid clipboard papers to figure out what they were talking about again.
"Physically, there's not much to worry about."
The dull throbbing in the back of her head said otherwise.
"I'm no psychologist by any means, and we'd need some further testing to confirm this..." His voice lowered again to a near whisper, but she could still hear it, if not barely.
"But I'm beginning to think that any complications will be more psychological than physical."
Her mother said something, and then it was quiet, save for a sudden buzz.
"Oh, please excuse me...There are some complications going on in the ICU...an Oliver Oken's having some problems."
Lilly shot up, and the color drained from her face.
"A nurse will be here to check on some things in a moment," She heard the doctor say as he walked off.
"Lils, you okay?" Miley asked unsurely after a moment as she walked in. Jake returned after her, looking much more concerned.
She blinked. "Yeah, fine..."
"Do you know that...Oscar kid or whatever his name was?" Miley questioned.
"You could say that," She muttered.
Her head was spinning.
He couldn't have said Oliver Oken.
Even if he did...
It probably wasn't him.
Oliver Oken is a ghost. He's dead. He can't be at a hospital.
Maybe there's a different Oliver Oken that works at the hospital. Maybe there's an Oliver Oken that's a doctor. The guy did say he needed his assistance.
Oliver Oken is dead. He's not alive. He was murdered by my boyfriend.
The nurse walked in. "How are you feeling?" She questioned. It was a different one than before.
She quickly made up her mind and asked her the question she was dreading the answer to.
"Great, um... is there...a guy staying here, an Oliver Oken?"
His name sounded way too weird. It was all so strange.
The nurse tilted her head. "Yes," She responded. "He's one of our more interesting patients. Do you know him?"
Her head began to spin again.
"You could say that," She echoed. The spots were coming back.
She didn't pay any more attention to the nurse, concentrating on that one fact.
He's alive.
He's alive.
He's alive.
He's alive.
Suddenly the fact that she could no longer see ghosts didn't seem so significant anymore.
"Hey Jake, can I talk to you again for a minute?" She asked, just as the nurse was leaving.
Miley took that as her cue to glare at Lilly for a moment then storm out childishly.
"Did you hear her?!" She demanded, freaking out now that all of the normal people had left.
"Yeah, I did," He responded, much calmer than she was. "It would be a good idea to calm down before you like strangle yourself or something."
She glared at him, but wasn't able to hold it. She grinned.
"He's alive. He's not dead."
Jake touched one of her shoulders. "Lo - er, Lilly, the doctor said he was in the ICU. And that he was having complications. That's not usually a good thing."
Her grin faded. "You're right," She admitted, looking down. "I'm being stupid. It's just that..." She looked up at him again. "I thought he was dead. I thought I was being idiotic, to like him bugging me all the time. He kept saying that there was a reason for all of this. I still don't know what the hell he was talking about, but...he's here, in this hospital. I have to see him."
Jake looked at her sympathetically. "The ICU only allows family visits or invites. Did you know him or any of his family before all this? I remember seeing him at Seaview, you know. And I knew his brother pretty well."
Lilly nodded. "I know. I met him once. He was a jerk to me, because his brother brought me into a hospital after I ran into him." She laughed. "I just now remembered that."
"I don't think they'll let you see him," Jake said.
She shook her head, disagreeing almost immediately. "I don't think so. I mean, his brother's a pretty nice guy. And if he had a reason to come down here..." She trailed off, looking pointedly at the movie star.
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Lilly," He muttered.
She stared at him hopefully.
"I'll check my contacts," He gave in under his breath.