Chapter Four – You Know Who

Every four hours marked a shift change on board, and the crew rotated between working, sleeping, and leisure time, with meals slotted in where possible. The closest Lily came to seeing the whole crew at once was at breakfast and lunch, where everyone save James and whoever was sleeping at the time sat down in the common room together.

"Excellent breakfast," Marlene told Caradoc through a mouthful of bread.

Caradoc smiled. "Thank you."

"McKinnon, you left your book in the crow's nest," Sirius said, as though this were of no significance.

Dorcas's gaze snapped up from her plate to Marlene. "You had a book in the crow's nest?"

Marlene's eyes briefly narrowed at Sirius before looking down at her plate. "It's so boring up there. What am I supposed to do?"

"Keep watch."

"I saw nothing – isn't that what really matters?"

"No."

"Well, sorry."

Peter ducked his head, leaning halfway over his plate, while a line formed in Caradoc's forehead and Lily watched silently. Perhaps Dorcas was being a bit harsh about it, but reading in the crow's nest did seem to defeat the purpose of being up there.

Fortunately Dorcas didn't reach for her wand, instead attacking her food.

The line vanished from Caradoc's face, and Peter sat up again.

"If you're going to break the rules," Sirius said, pointing at Marlene with his fork, "at least read something more interesting than Amortension."

"I like that book," Marlene said hotly. "Just because I want to read something fun and not the most depressing literature in existence doesn't mean—"

"My books aren't depressing, they're deep—"

Dorcas pounded a fist on the table. "No one cares about your stupid books," she said with an air of finality. "So long as it's not in the crow's nest."

Marlene and Sirius glared at each other and went back to their breakfast.

"I liked Amortension," Caradoc said. "I found it very engaging."

Sirius looked at Caradoc, his eyebrows drawing together. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then burst out laughing.

"Oh, it's fine for Caradoc to read it," Marlene muttered into her teacup. "That's funny, but if I like the characters…."

"And you." Dorcas turned to Peter. "Are you making progress?"

He hunched over his food again. "Er, some."

"How much?"

"Er, I can't really measure it…."

Dorcas gave him a firm look of disapproval.

"I'm trying," Peter pleaded.

Lily opened her mouth to tell Dorcas to back off—she had no clue what they were talking about, but Peter looked ready to curl up in a ball—but Dorcas pointedly turned back to her food.

"Try harder," she said.

"Which character did you like best in Amortension?" Caradoc asked Marlene.

"The main character, obviously," she said. "You've got to respect a woman who can brew Amortentia from memory using that many substitutions."

"She is a talented poitioneer…."

Lily stopped listening to their book discussion and looked around the table instead. Peter morosely ate his eggs while Sirius cheerfully buttered another slice of bread. Dorcas whispered something in his ear, and he laughed.

After Dorcas had leaned away from him, he glanced around the table, and his eyes found Lily's.

Few people could look as handsome as he did while smiling, much less with a disdainful curl of the lip, but somehow he pulled it off.

Lily stretched her mouth into a huge smile, just to annoy him. He let his eyes roll around in contempt and went back to his food.

"Sirius," Dorcas snapped, "check the riggings and sails."

"Pray tell," Sirius said, "what have I done to deserve such a scornful tone?"

Her thin mouth hinted at a smile. "You're a snitch."

"Ah, but only for the right cause."

She forced the smile off her face and turned to Marlene. "Inspect the orlop deck."

"Aye aye." Marlene beamed inexplicably.

During her brief stint as a real pirate, Lily had always traded shifts with other people to avoid crawling around in the narrow bottom of the ship.

But she understood better later when she followed Marlene down below the gun deck. They descended into darkness, like climbing into a well. When Marlene reached the bottom of the ladder, she cast a spell to light a candle on the wall near her, setting off a chain reaction. Several feet down another candle lit up, and then another, forming a shining row of advancing light down the wall. The reaction didn't stop until the lights had come full circle around the room.

They'd spelled the deck in a way Lily had only ever heard about, where the room had more space than it properly should have. The deck spanned more than the entire length of the ship, all one sprawling room, except for one metal wall with a door at the far end. In between the door and Lily stood row after row of shelving, packed tight with labeled boxes, jars, and bottles, all eerily lit by the candles.

Lily's stomach flipped. With all these materials, she might be trapped on board for months before they needed to take port somewhere.

"Follow me around if you like." Marlene unpinned a piece of parchment from the wall. "It's probably best if you don't touch anything, though."

Lily sighed and nodded. It was still better than sitting around and doing nothing.

"Not that I think you're here to mess everything up," Marlene hastened to add. "But just, you know, if something goes wrong, let's make sure you look plenty innocent, all right?"

"I'll be innocent, which should be the most important thing."

"And it will be, but—well, Dorcas."

"And Sirius."

"And Peter," Marlene said sourly.

"But you're still in the majority, so that counts for something, right?"

"Less than you might think. But I really don't think they'll kill you without a trial or something first."

"Oh, thanks. I'll just go start chatting with Dorcas now – obviously I've nothing to be afraid of. You're an immense comfort in my time of distress."

"I do what I can." Marlene looked at the list and began slowly walking down one of the aisles, eyes scanning up and down the shelves.

"What are you supposed to do down here, anyway?"

"Oh, make sure everything's in order. Refresh some spells. Nothing exciting."

Most of the supplies looked to be food and drink, but as Lily followed Marlene down a few rows, the names on the labels became unfamiliar.

"Is the pepper in Pepper Up literal or metaphorical?" Lily asked.

Marlene finished casting a spell on a sack labeled Flour. "Both, really. There's capsicum in there, and the potion makes you feel better."

"Not as aptly titled as that Blood-Replenishing potion, is it?" Lily's gaze dropped to Marlene's wand. "Do you mostly attack other witches and wizards? I imagine you'd need different treatments for spell damage than Muggle battle wounds."

Marlene looked up from the jar she was inspecting. "Sorry?"

"I mean, when you raid ships, you must get spell injuries, not stabbed. That or everyone just surrenders when you show up."

But that didn't make much sense either. Lily had never heard of them before seeing the wanted poster of James, which meant they might be a newer crew. An unusually successful new crew, or one with strong financial backing. The latter seemed less plausible, though, because people with financial patrons didn't typically become pirates.

"Are you a new crew?" Lily asked. "You seem to know each other well enough, but I haven't heard much about you from other pirates."

Marlene traced the tip of her wand over the cracked jar, the glass neatly repairing itself behind it. "Yeah, that's us. Not famous at all, really."

She continued working her way down the rows, casting spells and checking things over as needed. A few rows in Lily squinted at a jar that seemed to hold animal hearts. Her hand reached out to grab it and bring it closer for inspection, but Marlene shot her a warning look.

"Why hasn't James kicked Dorcas off the crew?" Lily asked, reluctantly pulling her hand back. "She's awfully rude to most of you."

Marlene shrugged. "She knows the ship best, besides him, and she and James have worked together for a while."

"They don't seem that close."

"Maybe it's better to say they understand each other. She knows what the ship needs."

"I suppose they must be close, if James chose her as first mate."

"What? No, Remus is first mate. Dorcas is just the boatswain – she only gets to tell people what to do about the ship, and nothing more. Don't let her bother you."

"I'm not supposed to be bothered that she wants to kill me?"

"Oh, she doesn't mean it."

"It's funny," Lily said, arms folding over her chest, "because the words kill her are usually very difficult to confuse for any other words."

Marlene took a few steps down the row, and Lily followed, noticing that Marlene had missed a crack in a jar labeled Beetle eyes.

"There's a break in the glass just there," Lily said.

Marlene stepped backwards and kneeled down to see the jar in question. With a small jet of forest green light, the crack disappeared. "Cheers," she said, and moved forward again. "I wouldn't worry about Dorcas. She just says things like that."

"What, I'm supposed to believe she's all bark and no bite?"

"Oh, no, she bites." Marlene laughed. "She bit me once in third year over a biscuit. But she also has a lot of bark. Disproportionate bark. Harmless bark. She's practically a tree."

"A tree that wants to fall over on me," Lily muttered. "Crush me with its branches."

"Maim you with its branches, maybe."

"Such cruelty from you. Maybe I'll go bother Caradoc. He seems kind enough."

"Oi, I'm plenty kind. If anything, he's too kind. And he's not very fun."

"Not sure there is such a thing as too kind."

Marlene turned back to Lily and rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know he hated the main character in Amortension. He'd never like her because she tricked that bloke into drinking Amortentia, but Caradoc would never say what he thought if he thought I didn't want to hear it."

The way they spoke about each other, and given their close ages…. They must have all gone to Hogwarts together. Then they must have all decided to become pirates together after Before, whatever that was…. It seemed awfully strange.

Lily didn't really need to know what all this Before business was, not to get off the ship, but many more things would probably become clearer if she only knew what it was.

Marlene wouldn't tell her, though, which left Lily with very few options.

Two, in fact, and she already knew which one she was more interested in pursuing.

But when she tried to approach Remus after lunch, he was caught up talking to Peter, and Sirius's glare put her off hanging around to wait. Instead she wandered up the staircase to the forecastle deck, braiding her hair as she walked. While their orlop deck was pleasant enough to walk around, it still suffered from the musty, stale air that plagued all storage rooms. Besides, the clouds were in stunning form that afternoon, towering high above the sails.

She heard the door to the common room open and shut, and James's and Sirius's voices drifted up toward her. She moved further toward the front, just far enough to stay out of their view, but close enough to hear them.

"The rigging looks fine to me," Sirius said. "Dunno what Meadowes was on about."

"No, see? Right there, below the top of the sail. That knot's coming undone."

"Is it? Then you fix it, Captain Potter."

"I know I can do it. You're the one with the knot problem."

"I do not have a knot problem. That sounds ridiculous anyway. Knot problem, honestly."

"Then prove me wrong and fix it."

"I'll do it because I'm supposed to, not because I have to prove anything to you."

"I really don't care why you do it so long as you do it. Preferably before it comes undone entirely."

Lily heard Sirius muttering but couldn't make out what he was saying. Then he called out a spell, and a flash of blue light streaked up toward the sail.

"That's not quite right," James said. "It's more of a—"

"Bollocks."

"I beg to differ, and as I am Captain Potter…."

"Don't pull rank on me."

"If anything I'm pulling experience. I'm perfectly entitled to pull that."

"This is how Dorcas showed me how to do it this morning before she went to bed."

"Then she showed you wrong."

"Be happy she's sleeping or you'd have bat bogeys to deal with."

"She comes to me when there are ship problems. Why don't you trust me like she does?"

Neither of them spoke for a moment, the silence a violin string pulled too tight.

"I'm only bothering you because I can," Sirius said, by way of apology.

James sighed. "I know."

"But can you get that bit—"

"Over there, yeah, I see."

"Only because of your specs."

"I'm happy enough to take away some of your eyesight. So you can share in the experience, you know. As my best mate, you should understand me perfectly, and I don't think you can until you've seen through my eyes."

"You and your experience. I know perfectly how much experience you've had."

"Oi, not when there's a lady on board."

"Who—Lily?"

"Well, all right, not a lady, but there is a woman on board who doesn't know us like Marlene and Dorcas."

Lily smiled to herself. Technically she was a lady, after all, but James didn't know it.

"She'll be gone soon enough," Sirius said. "I'm not worried."

"Don't tell me you're starting to come around to her."

"No, I just think Dorcas will kill her."

"You slay me with your wit."

"Not as much as Dorcas will slay her."

"You know, I really don't think that's a funny joke to be making."

"Come off it, it's nothing."

"I don't think Lily likes hearing that Dorcas is going to kill her."

Lily stood up a little straighter.

"Obviously Dorcas won't kill her," Sirius said. "Unless Lily really is a saboteur, in which case I think we all agree that would be the best course."

"If she is a saboteur, I don't think we're exactly endearing her to us, making threats like that."

"If she's a saboteur then she should be afraid for her life," Sirius said darkly.

"But, I mean, even if she is, that's not the only possible outcome."

"What other option is there? Maroon on an island?"

"No, I mean," James said, sounding a bit frustrated. "She seems clever."

"And?"

"And we need clever."

"You're not trying to get her to join us, are you?"

"No, I'm—that's not at all—I don't even know she is a saboteur, all right? She could be, yeah, but—well, you know. But if we found out she was a saboteur, we wouldn't have to kill her."

"We'll have to disagree on that, then."

James's tone turned harsh. "If you find evidence that she's a saboteur, you are not allowed to kill her. Or let Dorcas kill her. Or anyone else."

"Oh, shove off, James."

"I mean it. You bring her to me with the evidence and I'll hear you out. But no more joking about killing her, and no actually killing her unless I give word."

"I thought you weren't pulling rank."

"Yeah, well," James said bitterly, "on this I am."

"You're no fun anymore."

"I'm not going to apologize for taking things seriously."

There was another tense silence from them, and Lily strained her ears, trying to hear them over the wind and the flapping sails.

Finally Sirius said, "I missed having you around."

"You're an idiot. We're finally working together, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Sirius said in a low, rough voice.

"I know you're not much of a sailor, but it's not forever."

"Not for me, anyway."

"Only 'cos you're the lucky one of us."

"Oh, I dunno about that," Sirius said. "Luck's never really been on my side."

"Except the day you met me, of course."

"Naturally. But it's all been downhill from there, honestly."

"Oh, naturally…."

Lily heard them moving, and she stepped lightly up to the very front railing, far enough away that she couldn't hear them. If they saw her, they might not suspect her of listening in on them.

At least her death seemed less imminent now. Most of the crew didn't think Dorcas would actually kill her, even if she really did want to, and the captain certainly seemed against it. Then again, they were pirates – the captain's word only went as far as the crew's trust in him.

Lily leaned her elbows on the pristine railing, the horizon lay stretching out in front of her.

She'd been lucky, up until now, not to get caught stealing. She'd been luckier yet that she'd been caught by relatively lenient pirates. But perhaps it was time for a change.

The most obvious choice was to switch to land-based thievery. If nothing else, she'd never have to suffer imprisonment again. She could escape much more easily from a jail than from a ship, should she ever get caught again.

For the first time in a long time, she briefly considered going back to England permanently, maybe finding Petunia. A comfortable life was still possible for her, after all. She wasn't too old to find a lord of a husband, and certainly not too old for children.

But she couldn't really go back to Petunia, or to that life.

They'd fought before Lily had left. Petunia had been on the verge of marriage the winter that their parents had died, and she'd told Lily without hesitation she and Vernon would take guardianship over her. The idea had sounded awful, and Lily hadn't stuck around to try it out.

Lily hadn't been sixteen for a month at that point, and she'd been in a snit since Christmas, when for the first time Severus hadn't come home from Hogwarts. His mum had refused to answer Lily's knocks and Sev hadn't sent a letter. He'd promised he'd teach her how to start a fire that Christmas, and instead Lily had received a stupid new dress for Christmas from her father and the supposedly happy news that she would go with her father to London for the season that year.

She'd been so awful to her parents in the weeks before their death, devastated over Sev's mysterious absence and resentful about the way her life was heading, and then she'd lost them in an instant.

Lily heard footsteps behind her and turned, expecting to see James.

But it was Remus who joined her at the rail. He basked in the glory of the wind for a moment before turning toward her. "Fancy another round of chess?"

Lily smiled. "Absolutely."

"What happened before?" Lily asked.

Remus sat hunched over, eyes on the board. "Before what?"

"Before." She moved a pawn for him to take. "Marlene and James keep talking about this thing that happened, about two years ago I think. They haven't said what it is, but it's something big that I missed, and I want to know why it's so telling and important that I don't know what it is."

"Ah, that." He flicked his eyes up toward her and then brought them back to the game.

But he didn't immediately elaborate, prompting Lily to ask, "So, what is it?"

"Well, the thing is, I'm not entirely sure I'm the best person to explain."

"Marlene refused, too."

He smiled fondly to himself. "That would be her approach."

"Well, would you rather I ask Dorcas instead and get my throat slit?"

"She doesn't go for the throat," he said absently.

"Oh, lovely. I'll look forward to her stabbing me in the heart, then."

He sat up straight, stretching his shoulders back, and finally looked up at Lily properly. "I'm intrigued that you ask."

"Because either I'm a saboteur or not, yes, I know. Except I'm not a saboteur—I don't even know what it is that I'm supposed to be sabotaging—and instead I'm just very confused."

"I suppose even if you are a saboteur, there's no harm in telling you. You would already know."

"Yes, marvelous. Now, please, clue me into this mystery that apparently shouldn't be such a mystery."

"Well," he said thoughtfully. "How to put this. I suppose the short version is that while we were at Hogwarts, there was this Dark wizard, nasty bloke, who had been gathering followers for some time. And then, one day, he got what he wanted: he and his followers took over the Ministry by force."

"That's the You Know Who I keep hearing about?"

"That's one of the names he goes by, yes."

"If he's in charge, why does he go by such a bloody stupid name?"

"He's cast a Taboo on it. If you say his name, even in your own home miles away from any of his supporters, he knows. Granted, we're nowhere near England, and it might not extend this far, but we wouldn't want to risk it."

Lily cocked her head. "You don't want What's His Face to find you."

He smiled sadly. "I see why James didn't tell you all this immediately. Suffice it to say that no, we don't want him to find us."

"You're not going to tell me why, are you," she said flatly.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"Because you still think I'm a saboteur."

"It's a possibility, isn't it? Surely you can see our reasoning."

"Not really, since I've no idea why you would think I would care what a bunch of pirates are up to off the coast of France. Or why What's His Face would, if that's who you think I'm working for."

"I suppose if you aren't a saboteur, this must be terribly confusing."

"Oh, I assure you. It is."

Remus offered her a sympathetic look.

"But all right," she said, "so someone took over the government. That happens all the time. Did a lot of people die or something?"

"It's less to do with the actual coup, which could have been worse, honestly, in terms of death toll. Although I assure you, plenty of people were killed on both sides. No, it's more…. Some people take issue with his agenda, which includes the expulsion or extinction of Muggle-born witches and wizards."

She scrunched up her nose. "What?"

"He believes they're inferior to other wizards, particularly pure-bloods, and he thinks Muggle-borns stole their magic from other witches and wizards and deserve to die."

"And this bloke's running the government?"

"To our chagrin."

Lily glanced around the room, pausing to look out the window, when suddenly Sev's warning made perfect sense. Of course she couldn't reveal her Muggle-born status to wizards, not if it might get her killed.

"This—this What's His Face," she said, leaning forward, elbows on her knees. "He wants to round up the Muggle-borns? And just—just kill them? For nothing?"

"Yes."

"That's so—that's just—"

"Mad."

"Yes!"

His mouth curved into a slight smile, as if he were a professor and she'd got an answer right. "If you are a saboteur, I give you full points for a convincing portrayal."

Lily ignored him. "But really, that's what I've been missing the last two years?"

"Apparently so."

"Well, that's just…." She made a frustrated noise. A readymade rant bounced around in her head about how unfair it all was because she'd never stolen her magic from anyone, but she swallowed it. She couldn't tell any of that to Remus because she hadn't revealed that she was Muggle-born. For all she knew, they were secretly working for this Dark bloke and would hand her over whenever they returned to England.

Remus smiled at her in apology. "It's upsetting, I know."

"Upsetting is maybe a fifth of what I'm currently feeling."

"So it seems."

If she'd been told ten minutes ago that she couldn't safely return to England possibly ever, she might have been mildly upset.

But to hear that she couldn't go home because someone wanted to kill her for no good reason….

She'd never officially been a part of the wizarding world, but the idea that she couldn't join now tore at her, a restless wound in her stomach.

She'd been denied plenty of things in life already for being female, and now a group of people hated her for something else she'd had no control over, hated her enough to want to potentially kill her. And she'd done nothing to deserve it.

She hadn't spent much time in England during the past two and a half years—she'd been dying to get out and see the world her mother had always told her about—but now she couldn't go back. Not without fearing for her life. Even if she tried to hide her magic, as she'd always done, accidental magic happened. And, as she had learned, she could reveal herself as a witch without even realizing it.

She'd been so desperate to flee, and now that she knew she couldn't go home, images of the rolling hills along her parents' estate haunted her, a comfort now out of reach.

"You took that news very hard," Remus observed.

"Yes, well," Lily said, forcing her fists to unclench, "it's difficult to hear that there's been a governmental overthrow, as it turns out, and that the new regime is so absurdly awful."

"We couldn't believe it ourselves, at first. We were at Hogwarts, and the Headmaster told us, and we didn't—we didn't think he was joking, but it seemed impossible."

Lily nodded to herself. No wonder Sev had been worried about her that last summer. It didn't explain where he'd gone, but that had to be the reason he'd never come home.

He'd had a good reason for not coming back.

She'd been furious with him, certain he'd tired of trying to teach a Muggle-born magic, and he'd simply been hiding after a coup.

How utterly selfish and myopic of her. How foolish that she'd spent her parents' last weeks with her nose upturned because Severus had had to deal with his government being overthrown.

It was all such a waste.

"Are you quite all right?" Remus asked.

"No," she said, her voice strange and unfamiliar.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Questions about Severus, and Hogwarts, and how on earth anyone stupid enough to call himself You Know Who could possibly take over the government, and with such an asinine agenda to boot, all sprung to mind.

But really only one question mattered, in the grand scheme of things.

"Tell me someone's trying to take back the government," she said. "Tell me people aren't letting that arse stay in power."

He watched her curiously for a moment, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a resigned smile. "Where tyranny leads, resistance follows."

"Good," Lily said fiercely. "Good."

Remus and the others might have been working for What's His Face, but the way they spoke of him made it seem unlikely. Not to mention they had little cause for misleading her, as far as she knew, and Remus had already admitted to having a Muggle mother.

Of course, she only didn't trust them because of Sev, and Sev was only concerned about What's His Face finding Lily. And in turn, James's crew didn't trust Lily because of What's His Face.

Really, this whole situation was his fault.

She scowled.

Bloody What's His Face.