As they walked down the street, through the square, Ludwig thought about the boy walking next to him.
I don't think I can deny that I feel an unnatural attraction to this man. Yes, he is indeed a man, but I can't help it. I think about his night and day, and I await every morning to meet with him at night. And when we do meet, I am happy. Despite the fact that he does babble on and tends to get himself into awkward situations, such as when we first met, he is undeniably enchanting. Charismatic.
Then he thought harder. Or perhaps I feel this way because he's my only friend. I've never really experienced friendship from people, other than Gilbert. He let out a sigh and rubbed his head.
Feliciano, who had been shaking the whole time jumped at the light fan of breath that Ludwig let out. Ludwig noticed this and looked at him.
"Is everything alright? You seem tense." He noted.
"Oh, I'm fine! Perfect! Well, I'm not exactly perfect, I mean, I think myself as a nice person but I have my faults! Everyone does, in their own way. And-"
"Feliciano, I've known you for a couple of days now and I know that you ramble when you feel uncomfortable. We're friends. You should be able to tell me anything. What's wrong?" The way Ludwig was looking at him made him want to tell him. It really did. Because he did trust him. But he felt like he couldn't. It was too weird.
"It's . . ."
"Is it about the other night? What you said about me? And then what I said about you?" Feliciano looked down and let out a meek,
"Yes." Ludwig sighed, running his hand through his hair. He looked down at the man who appeared to be staring at the ground in shame. "I'm sorry if I made this more awkward than it needs to be, and I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable. And I understand if you never want to see me again-" He babbled, feeling the tears gather and swell in his eyes. But Ludwig would have none of it.
"Feliciano." Ludwig barked, but not too harshly. Just enough to gain the trembling man's attention. "Come and sit down." He motioned towards the fountain that lay in the middle of one of the squares they had been passing through. It was dark, but there was enough light from a street lamp so that Feliciano could make out Ludwig's features. They were now even more accentuated in the firelight of the street lamp. He was concerned.
Oh no! He thought, He doesn't want to see me again! I've lost my only friend!
"Feliciano," The blonde began, "I'm not going to end this friendship over the ridiculous notion that we don't feel comfortable around each other. Because, if I'm being honest with myself, I feel very comfortable when I'm with you."
"You do?" He said, feeling hopeful.
"Yes. I'm sorry you don't feel the same way-" As Ludwig talked, Feliciano realized that he felt comfortable around him too. It was when he wasn't with him, he realized, is when he over thought, and over complicated everything.
"No! No, I feel comfortable around you too. Well, not exactly comfortable, more safe. But that's pretty much the same thing, si?"
"Yes . . . well, anyway, I think the feeling of doubt that we're feeling comes from the idea of a friendship itself. I mean, we've always sort of been introverts in our own sort of way, perhaps we're not used to such a strong friendship that we have. I've never wanted to be around someone so badly before in my life. I genuinely enjoy your company. Do you feel the same way?"
"Si! Perhaps I was just overthinking everything, as usual." Ludwig smiled.
"Alright, let's go then." He said, getting up and brushing off is red velvet pants and adjusting his tunic. He held out his hand to the brunette. He grabbed his hand and was hoisted up by Ludwigs strength.
"Where do you want to go tonight?" Feliciano shrugged his shoulders.
"Why don't you pick? I always pick."
"I don't know Venice as well as you do. You will know which places are better than others."
"That makes sense." Feliciano seemed to ponder for a moment. He lifted his index finger, putting it over the white gloss of the mask where his lips would be and tilted his head up in thought. It was almost as if he was browsing an inner library within his mind. Ludwig couldn't help but smile and chuckle a bit. "Oh! I know! How about the Zattere?"
"Is that a building?" Feliciano giggled.
"No, it's like a long stretch of sidewalk that overlooks the water. There's a lot of street performers this time of year. And it's also really nice at this time, right as the sun is setting. It's actually not far from here. If we hurry, we could just see the sun setting just beyond the ships out in the water." Ludwig lifted an eyebrow beneath his golden mask. It did sound nice, but it didn't really sound like the sort of place they could spend a good amount of time together. But perhaps it would give them time to talk peacefully. Not among the crowds at massive parties like they're used to.
"Alright, if you want to go."
"Yay! C'mon, it's this way!" The smaller man cried out in excitement, half dragging the German by his arm.
Feliciano was right. The Zattere was in fact close by indeed. And it was beautiful. On one side of the smooth, grey sidewalk were houses that lined up right next to each other. Most of them were different colors, but all still built beautifully. Right from the windows down to the carved door frames. On the other side were piers and street lamps that overlooked the water where many larger ships had docked.
And Feliciano was not lying when he said there were many street performers. There were jugglers, musicians, and magicians. All, of whom, were dressed head to toe in Venetian costumes.
Ludwig could feel the Italian sigh and lean his head against his shoulder in awe.
"Isn't it beautiful, Luddy?"
"Luddy?" He sputtered.
"Si, it's the nickname I gave you. Is that okay?" Ludwig sighed and nodded.
"Ja, it's fine."
"Good. But it is nice, right?"
"There is no denying that it is a gorgeous sight. I just wished we'd gotten here sooner. The sun is nearly gone."
"I know, Zattere is still a fun place to be. It's not too crowded, because there are many restaurants that are either closed, or sitting and serving all of the crowds! So there's plenty of room to walk!" To prove his point, he stepped away from his friend and stretched his arms out while still holding Ludwig's hand with his other arm. "See?"
"Ja, I get it." He pulled Feliciano back towards him. Out of nowhere Feliciano asks,
"How's Gilbert doing?"
"Oh, um . . . he's good. I haven't seen him in a couple of days. He's usually out partying the night away like the young bachelor he is. My grandfather is getting slightly irritated by his behavior, though. He thinks that he should be looking to settle down, and that I should be immersing myself in culture."
"Does he not know that you have been doing exactly that with me every night?"
"No. But to be fair, he's more focused on my brother than he is on me at the moment. He probably still thinks I am locked up in the library, reading." Ludwig chuckles lightly to himself.
"Do you like to read?"
"Was it not obvious when we first met?" He said, turning to Feliciano.
"How am I supposed to know if you do it all the time or not?" He protested.
"I suppose that's a fair enough point."
"It's a good point!" Feliciano corrected him. "What do you like to read?"
"I like to read about war." Feliciano was slightly stunned to hear that.
"You like war?"
"It's not that I necessarily like it, but it fascinates me. Ever since I was a young child, according to my grandfather and brother, I was obsessed with the idea of going off in shining armor with a sword in my hand, ready to fight for Germany and everyone I love. Even now, I kind of wish that I could have joined the armies, because I have the power to. But now that I'm in Italy that doesn't seem likely."
"Oh." Feliciano let out, sensing the hint of disappointment in his tone as he said the last part. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm glad!"
"How so?"
"I'd miss you too much if you went off to war." Despite the fact that Ludwig wanted to point out that they wouldn't have met, and therefore not miss each other, but he went along with it.
"I'd miss you too."
"Really?!"
"I'm not going to lie. You can be loud and rather embarrassing to be around, not to mention getting into strange predicaments, like the other day when I had to get you out of that argument with that man for chasing around his cat. But you are nice and you trust me. And you're honest, which I like. It feels nice to have someone depend on you so much." Ludwig thought he'd said too much for a moment, but was relieved when Feliciano only agreed with him.
"I know what you mean. I like having someone who actually likes me and who I am. And I feel safe when you're around. It's nice to have friends to lean on."
Yes, friends. Ludwig thought.
They continued to walk for a while longer, chatting and discussing their past and wishes for the future. Although, they both agreed that they both didn't really have an idea. Feliciano explained that he didn't seem to know nor really care. He wanted to live in the moment and not worry about the future. Ludwig explain how everything he wanted changed when he moved to Italy, and now had no idea where to begin with his future. Everything was so uncertain to both of them.
"I think that we should head home soon." Ludwig announced.
"Oh! Oh!" Feliciano was practically jumping, "Let's dance first!" Ludwig blushed a deep shade of red that could be seen just beneath the golden edges of his mask.
"W-wha . . . what?"
"You heard me. Dance with me. Like all of those couples over there." He began to drag Ludwig over to the other dancers, meeting much resistance.
"Like you said, couples." He hissed.
"Oh Ludwig, live a little. This is what your grandfather meant. You can either read about life, or live it! Besides, wouldn't you rather dance with me than with some strange woman?" He considered it for a moment and agreed. Feliciano knew Ludwig well enough by now to know that he'd agree with that sort of logic. Ludwig wasn't the best at socializing in general, let alone with woman.
Feliciano placed Ludwig's hand on his waist, the other in his hand. Feliciano put his free hand on Ludwig's shoulder. Ludwig gulped in anticipation.
Once the music started they began to dance. It felt strange, to both of them. Feliciano had his share of dances with people, but this time felt different. He felt a slight feeling of airiness swirl around. He also felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Perhaps he was just as nervous as Ludwig. Maybe.
Ludwig felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't stop himself from looking right into the caramel colored eyes of Feliciano's. They weren't looking at his, but they looked so magnificent. He longed to know what the rest of Feliciano's face looked like. What his skin felt like. What he smelled like.
Feliciano looked up at Ludwig, staring right at him. And in that moment, the airiness that was swirling engulfed him. Ludwig couldn't help himself from placing his head on Feliciano's, slightly inhaling the small man's scent. He smelled like fresh wine and basil.
Feliciano felt his eyes close as he allowed Ludwig to breathe him in. He let out a blissful sigh, feeling Ludwig tighten his grip around him.
That was until Feliciano opened his eyes and noticed that they had stopped dancing. When did that happen? He also noticed some people staring.
"Ludwig . . .?" Feliciano said meekly. The sound brought Ludwig back to reality, realizing that he probably scared Feliciano with his behavior. He immediately hold on the Italian.
"I . . . I- oh God, I'm . . ." He wanted to apologize but found himself incapable of doing so. Rather, he just turned around and left. Feliciano just stood there, dumbstruck.
Ludwig on the other hand now knew what was going on. He strode off angrily, running his fingers through his hair many times until he could finally form the thought.
Oh dear God, I'm in love with Feliciano.